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[karenH]

Im really sad that i cant be bothered to make love to my husband, who i love very, very much. He is very understanding and i have explained the reasons, but it still bothers me that it might not come back! Will it be like before? I am 50, and in year 2 if the big M!

[CLKD]

Mine went 18 months after our marriage.  I HAVE to make the effort.  If he turns to me I try not to say no.  Eventually I enjoy it.  At least 'giving in' takes away any guilt - go on, try it  - make you are use plenty of lubrication and are not too tired .......

[Taz2]

I'm 59 and for the last two years it has been non-existent. It is very sad and changed my life a lot but having explored all the medical avenues I can think of I am resigned to the fact that, for me at least, this part of life is probably over. Have you discussed this with your doctor? There are other causes apart from menopause so don't give up yet. What are your meno symptoms?

Taz x

[pixie]

I am currently without partner, but don't really miss sex at all - in fact I was thinking i could find myself  a nice  'companion', in an 'over the hill' sort of way!! Anyway I do still fancy men, if someone comes up close to me, however, not sure how I would manage if I had to make the effort to get into bedroom mode. It doesn't help that I recently had my gynae bits tampered during an operation!! Maybe I need some new oomph!!

[Hurdity]

Hi If this thread was moved into "Private Lives" I would comment!
Hurdity x

[LizeeeH]

Gin n tonic.......sex.....gin n tonic....sex....hmmmmmmmmmmm nope I'll take the gin n tonic please! just not interested in sex....poor hubby!

[CLKD]

You could send a PM to Emma to get thsi moved?

[ann123]

Hi karen, i hope you continue to talk to him, the worst thing you can do is stop communicating. I learned the hard way, stopped talking, he thought i didnt fancy him, he had an affair! It was crap. On the upside, we fixed our issues, i started using vagifem, found i actually still really enjoy sex, now that it doesnt hurt! But we always make time, early evening or during the day at weekends. It means we are not sleepy and it takes any pressure away at bedtime. I would say make the effort, try different things, and make time when you are feeling good!!

[Evenstar]

It was recommended to me to use Evening Primrose oil and starflower oil together every day and I have to say, it has helped a lot

[CLKD]

How much and how do you take it?

[Clovie]

Mine went 18 months after our marriage.  I HAVE to make the effort.  If he turns to me I try not to say no.  Eventually I enjoy it.  At least 'giving in' takes away any guilt - go on, try it  - make you are use plenty of lubrication and are not too tired .......

This is me, totally.

Although I sometimes REALLY want to scream at him to leave me the heck alone!!!
I should embrace the fact that he finds me attractive (god knows why!!  ) but I'm sad to say I'm like.....meh!

[Clovie]

Im really sad that i cant be bothered to make love to my husband, who i love very, very much. He is very understanding and i have explained the reasons, but it still bothers me that it might not come back! Will it be like before? I am 50, and in year 2 if the big M!

Hi Karen 

I've recently seen a gynae/menopause specialist at a clinic and I explained about my lack of oooph in the bedroom department, and she told me she could prescribe testosterone in an attempt to restore libido?
Did you know about this?
Maybe it could be an option?
Have a google and see what you think 

good luck xxx

[Taz2]

Intrinsa patches were the most widely prescribed but have been withdrawn  http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex-and-relationships/medicines/intrinsa-patches.html  It was available on the NHS for women who have had both ovaries and womb removed but privately I believe it could be prescribed for women with intact womb and ovaries. There is an implant which is suitable to women with womb and ovaries http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex-and-relationships/medicines/testosterone-implant.html

There is a form of HRT called Livial (or Tibolone) which contains all three hormones and some women have had success with this.


Taz x

[pixie]

i think this is why its important to keep ones ovaries at hysterectomy, because they continue to produce androgens, post meno, which is in part testosterone and effects ones libido. I'd say it generally starts to decline a bit naturally anyway, from the age of about 42. I seemed get a a sudden surge of libido around 46-47, as if the body was trying to have a last ditch attempt to get pregnant, then it levelled off a bit. But if Hugh Jackman was to walk in the pub.........

[Evenstar]

How much and how do you take it?

I take 500mls of each in a capsule form every day. Not sure if its a placebo effect, but been taking it for over a year and feel so much better