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[CLKD]

Little steps.  There is no fault in these situations nor cause for blame.  <hug>

[lesley998]

Hello everyone.

I am just back from three weeks in my sisters house, helping with my 21 year old nephew.  The internet connection was not great and I only had my phone and nephews old laptop to go onto the internet, so could not really give the full picture.  I think I just needed to blaaaah it all out so 'someone' even if you are all in cyberspace!  Funny how we deal with things.  Forums, and friends,  have been a great comfort to me over the last few years. 

The thing is, we do not have my sisters body.  She threw herself from a road bridge, and has yet to be recovered - if she ever will.  The bridge is at an estuary with strange tides and currents, and she literally could be anywhere. So we have no closure, no funeral.  The legal and practical issues are an absolute nightmare - do not know where to start.  Lawyers fees are 200 per hour.   Then there is the matter of her husband who has secondary progressive MS, and has been cared for at home with local authority help, but is currently in emergency respite.  Do not know where the funds are coming from for all of this, and without a body, the situation is just so complex..we are in limbo.     There is accepted presumption of death due to things left behind...but in Scotland the law is seven years before can be legally accepted. 

It is all such a mess. 

Hug your loved ones close 

Lesley x

[CLKD]

How sad and how awful.  Life obviously became too much.  A dark place to be.  Now at Peace.  However ….. the current UK weather situation won't help ………… you must feel completely in limbo.

[honeybun]

I really don't know what to say so I will just send you a

 

Such a difficult situation for you all.


Honeyb
x

[Limpy]

Like Honeyb I don't know what to say, all I can do is send lots of hugs.

   

So so sad

[ariadne]

I'm so sorry. Your poor young nephew    How dreadful for all of you
 

Ariadne xx

[Milliemoo7]

I am so sorry to hear about your sister Sweetpea.  I just read back your posts of a year ago and you did do the best you could at the time.  It isnt easy to get help in that situation as you found.


On a practical note, if you google "what to do when someone dies" there are several links you can follow that will set out what needs to be done.  This may help you at a time when there so much to do and you're finding it overwhelming.   The 3rd link down is from Martinsmoneysaving website, I dont know whether there are any tips in there about avoiding the Solicitor's high fees.  Did your sister leave a Will?

Thoughts are with you and also with your nephew.

[purplenanny]

Oh sweetpea, I am so sorry, this is such a terrible time for you. Do you have somone who supports and helps you?
Like the other ladies, i don't really know what to say. I can only send you cyber hugs and wish you strength to get through the time ahead. We are thinking of you. PN x x

[Mrs January]

Hey lovely

My goodness you are having a awful time ..........use your friends cyber or otherwise...for your relative in care call the local social services number and get someone out to talk to you...they will appoint a social worker to oversee the case and sort finances/placement/planning etc.....

For your lovely nephew there are sites like Young minds/ cruise etc that may help or look at local services for young people around grief....does he go to uni/ college?? could access counselling or maybe he has some supportive close friends/rels or neighbours...just a thought...and hug together and cry when needed

I send you my love an hugs Mrs J xxx

[Taz2]

Hi Sweetpea - sorry that you are going through all of this. As regards the legal aspect of death without a body - have the police had statements from whoever witnessed your sister jumping from the bridge? These could be important in legally proving that she did indeed kill herself.

Can only send a hug.

Taz x 

[Katy]

Oh sweet pea how awful for you - like everyone else don't really know what to say so I will just send you a 

katy x

[CLKD]

   Mrs January I was thinking along those lines myself.  It may be that the nephew may be more aware than relatives of the emotional pain that his Mum was in so will deal with this differently to others left behind.  Sometimes it can be a relief because the constant 'ear to the door' can be wearying for families.  Sadly .......... I spent many an hour awake listening for Dad's car to return after he had rowed with Mum ........... willing him to come back safely ..........