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[CLKD]

…… and the Theme for the day was?

[Ju Ju]

My Mum is ill again, but her doctor is keen to keep her out of hospital. Home is best as long as Dad can cope. Mum was able to talk to me yesterday and told me she had got upset when their cleaner didn't turn up and maybe that triggered this off. Maybe. Upset really doesn't describe the state she can get into.

[honeybun]

Holidays CLKD,

Sorry to read that Ju Ju. I think they often find old people do much better at home than in hospital wherever possible.
Hope she picks up soon.....is it her bladder again?


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

Oh Ju Ju - perhaps once she had spoken to U she would have felt better ?  Did you check with your Dad this morning?

Holidays Honeybun - you aren't going away again 

[honeybun]

Indeed I am, but it's what happens when I'm away that was getting picked over today.

Oh well not back until Friday and with all that's going on with my aunt perhaps my mother will cop onto how lucky she actually is.

Well I can but hope can't I 


Honeybun
X

[Ju Ju]

I ring each evening when things are not good. We have a pact to let let each other know if something's wrong, ever since they didn't let me know my sister had gone to hospital to die. As you can imagine I was devastated and angry, when I got that call. So we are honest up to a point.

She has had a re-occurrence of severe hives, blood pressure up and down, but they didn't mention a UTI. Her salt levels are being checked. She is very weak. She fell over, knocking over the commode and contents. Lovely job for my Dad to clear up. They think her blood pressure must have plummeted when she got out of bed.

I do think things are finely balanced when she is more ok, so it doesn't take much to throw her. Stress? Maybe, but I shall never understand why she gets so stressed about the small stuff. She's not easy to be around and we all find her exhausting. But I love her, whatever.

[CLKD]

Small issues become big as we age.  Due to not being as active/able as we were and not wanting to 'be a bother' to others  .  How's your Dad?

[Ju Ju]

Mmm..... Mum has always made much of very little. She was always volatile and as my nephew described her, scary.  She had a stroke at the age of 66, despite her blood pressure being in the ideal range before. She collapsed following the death of her brother and friends. Her behaviour had been over the top. She had to do everything herself immediately. No one else was capable apparently. She doesn't accept there are lots of right ways of doing things, just her way. Sadly this behaviour continues, which makes life so difficult for her as she cannot be in control. When she is has been very ill, she is grateful for any help, but when she is a bit better........ I will do everything I can when she is really poorly, but it's hands off at other times.

Dad says he is ok. He tends to be half glass empty, but last night was more up beat. At least he will ring me when things are bad and when Mum was in hospital. Other times he avoids talking much on the phone.

[CLKD]

Maybe your Mum doesn't let him talk on the phone  : maybe she's there, putting her 2p worth in  .  Dad only phoned me when he knew Mum was away for hours, not often then: so we never had proper conversations, when he did ring I always thought it wasn't good news and never had anything much to say 

[Ju Ju]

No, Dad just isn't a big talker. He's introverted. He is more comfortable in the background. All my memories of him are of him sitting approvingly watching, but not participating in family life. I don't remember him playing with us or disciplining. He was always approachable, but you had to do the approaching. My kids would climb on him, but he wouldn't invite them; they instinctively knew he loves them. When Mum was so ill, he did ring and talk. Mum says he got a lot of solace from talking to me. Their marriage works, but I have had to step in and tell him to get the doctor in when Mums ill and that she doesn't know what she needs when she is ill, so not to listen to her. He sounds a walk over, but there's a lot going on there. When he worked he was a 'boffin' -scientist.

I rang last night and Mum is getting better. She hasn't had a UTI. She says things were different this time. She had all the hives come up all over her body, as before, which are now subsiding. Her blood pressure is up and down and she collapsed the other night. The doctor thought one of the concoction of drugs could be responsible, but if so which one and why would she be ok some of the time. It's not clear what has been wrong with her. Sadly this has put her back. Dad had been able to take her out for a few gentle trips. She even managed to get to us to celebrate Dad's 90th birthday. We live an hours drive away.

[CLKD]

Could it be one of the outer coverings of the medication? sometimes people are sensitive to it.

[Ju Ju]

Maybe. I don't even know what medication she is now on.

[CLKD]

Did you hear from your Dad last night or are they quiet again?

[Ju Ju]

Yes, rang them last night. Mum is slightly better. Feel pulled in 2 directions. Would like to see them, but on a course this weekend, which is important to me and possibly others. Exhausting though.

[CLKD]

You go on the Course, it will give you a bit of a break.  You'll be there for them if push comes to shove ……