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[Joyce]

This made me chuckle.

Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

Forward this now, (especially) to all your mature friends...... it will be their laugh for the day.

[honeybun]

 

The only problem is I know people that would come up with a story like that.


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

You do  - so do I!

[Joyce]

No, no dogs or elephants for that matter.  Wish I could be that quick off the mark with an answer though. By the time  I'd have come up with such a brilliant answer, the moment would be long gone.

[CLKD]

We were offered a loyalty card when shopping in a well known chemists a few years ago, I said 'no thanks I'm due back at 4.30' - the girl, aged about 18 on the till, turned a slighter shade of pale  .  When I said a similar thing in the next Store" "I'm not allowed into town very often" the lady who was 'our' age got it at once - asked which 1 of us was out on Licence ……..  ….. probably a way to get banned from town completely 

[BrightLight]

Very funny and I really wish I could be that smart

[CLKD]

I'm not sure that the young girl found it funny  ……… it's my sense of humour and not many 'get it' even DH struggles at times 

[babyjane]

I always manage to think of a funny/clever reply after the opportunity has gone.

[CLKD]

I do usually but this is a standard retort …….

a) I'm only allowed into town twice a year
b) I have to be back by 4.30
c) We don't get into town very often
d) Am I allowed a loyalty card until they let me out …...

[honeybun]

You are just the kind of customer my daughter would love CLKD 

Or perhaps not 

She gets some very strange ones indeed.


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

She has yet to meet me and DH …… we can play off each other in the queue …….. 

[Mrs January]

OMG

Love it, made me chuckle then laugh out loud ...yipppee

Mrs January xx

[spiritguide]

I haven't laughed so hard in ages. Thank you!

[Kittycat50]

You gals are fantastic!

[Joyce]

That we are, thank you.