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[Loulou1959]

Hi I am new to the group which I discovered a bit late as I seem to be almost through the worst after ten years of joint pain, nausea, night sweats and hot flushes and a rubbish GP (male of course) not to mention the fortunes spent on herbal remedies that didn't work. What I would like to know is 'will my current total loss of libido ' return once I'm through it. I only got married again 6 years ago and my poor husband has not had the best of times. Fortunately he is extremely understanding and loving. Is there hope for my sex life returning to its former glory or is that it?

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome Loulou1959
I wish I could say your libido will return - for some it might but sadly I think once this is lost it may never be found again. If you struggle with vaginal discomfort which makes sex difficult you could try some local oestrogen that will at least help things become more healthy around this area.  Lots of lubrication is vital as well. Whilst the pleasure we felt when young may not return, I think intimacy with your partner can still be very pleasurable if you aren't dry and sore around the vaginal all area. DG x

[CLKD]

WELCOME!  If you don't use it you lose it 

For years my libedo went, about 18 months into marriage  so we have had to find other ways ……. now when DH suggests  I go along and eventually 

[Taz2]

Hi LouLou - welcome to the forum. If you type libido into the search box in the blue bar top left of the screen it will bring up posts made about this subject. There may also be some under loss of sex drive. Have you tried HRT or is that something you want to avoid? If you are post meno (last period over a year ago) then there is one HRT called Tibolone which mimics all three hormones and can help a flagging sex drive in some women.  As for knowing if it will return I think this depends on whether you have lost the urge but can respond once you "get going" or whether you are unable to achieve any sexual response.

Taz x 

[Smokey]

Hi Loulou

I just have to let you know, I never had much libido when younger until I started Hrt and now I  know what I was missing fingers cross it lasts.

[Hurdity]

Hi Loulou1959

  from me too

Sadly I think from reading on here, for many women once they reach menopause (for some even before)  - including myself - once it's gone, it's gone never to return - that is libido, and response is much diminished from its former glory

There are a few stories of renewed vigour - and I'm full of envy of these women!!!

My gynae GP mentioned that most women produce most of their testosterone in their ovaries and when they pack up so does the T production. She said that for some women their T production was "adrenal" led - and such women don't tend to lost their libido. I haven't read anything about this though.

Hurdity x

[Taz2]

Hurdity - I have found this http://contemporaryobgyn.modernmedicine.com/contemporary-obgyn/news/modernmedicine/welcome-modernmedicine/are-hormones-answer-low-libido?page=full   Do you understand it? Is this what you meant?

Taz x

[Loulou1959]

Ok so I haven't read the last link posted yet but will. I was on HRT for four years and when on that I felt great but doc said I had to stop in spite of my pleas. I recently attended a menopause clinic and the doc there said that as I seemed to be over the worst that going back onto a libido enhancing HRT wasn't very sensible. My problems started about 6 yrs ago, it felt as tho my husbands penis had a bit of sandpaper on the side. Things gradually got worse and worse. Tried the doctor but no help and have ended up with mild vaginismus.  After visiting finally this menopause clinic I am trying vagifem and some moisturising stuff Hayllo or something like that, but I'm honestly only doing it for my husband, if I was a man I would describe it as not being able to raise a smile, couldn't care less if I never did it again and the harder I try the worse I feel. I have now bought some tablets called Goldmax which had quite a good write up but I'm not holding my breath. Thanks for listening guys.

[Jan7612]

PLEASE let us know if the Goldmax tablets help 

[CLKD]

LouLou - you need the razor blade feelings sorted! regardless.  Dryness and thinning can cause repeated irritated bladder feelings and the need to pee often.  Topical HRT will ease those symptoms.

[Annie0710]

It's very sad reading this
I'm really hoping if I can get my inbalance sorted I can enjoy sex again
It used to be so good.  Today I ordered replens where you insert 2 x weekly and each one lubricates for 3 days, it might help my constant bladder problems too hopefully

I've read a bit of testosterone can help, and when I'm at the gp next week I shall ask
Xx

[Dancinggirl]

Annie0710  - You need Vagifem or some form of local oestrogen to help the bladder issues. I have found that I need both local oestrogen and full systemic HRT to improve my vaginal and bladder issues.  DG x

[Annie0710]

Annie0710  - You need Vagifem or some form of local oestrogen to help the bladder issues. I have found that I need both local oestrogen and full systemic HRT to improve my vaginal and bladder issues.  DG x

When I saw her initially on Thursday she did reassure me she will work with me on the sex problems so I assume that's the kind of thing she meant

I take max dose orally and she didn't dismiss it couldn't be topped up another way

I'm forever hopeful :-)
Xx

[Hurdity]

Hurdity - I have found this http://contemporaryobgyn.modernmedicine.com/contemporary-obgyn/news/modernmedicine/welcome-modernmedicine/are-hormones-answer-low-libido?page=full   Do you understand it? Is this what you meant?

Taz x

Thanks Taz well I wasn't sure about this bit: "The ovaries and adrenal glands produce about 50% of circulating testosterone, whereas the other 50% comes from peripheral conversion of precursor steroids from the ovaries and adrenals."

My biology is really rusty and don't remember ever studying this - mind you that's no guarantee I didn't   . I think it's saying that the precursor steroids to oestrogen and testosterone are produced in the ovaries and adrenals and then converted to O and T in other places/sites/tissues - though it doesn't say where.

I presume when the ovaries pack up they no longer produce these steroids (not sure why I think this just because they don't produce ripe eggs any more?) but the adrenals still do.  I think what my GP was saying was that in some women the adrenals take more of a lead in this direct synthetis of T so it carries on even after meno so their libido is fine. I think it's more common for it to be ovary led which is why most of us struggle!

Good luck with the doc Annie and do let us know the outcome! 

Hurdity x

[Annie0710]

Thanks Hurdity
If just one of us come out of a surgery with a miracle it could change things for all of us on here
Xx