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Author Topic: 50 shades of Glasgow.....  (Read 13378 times)

Eddie

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50 shades of Glasgow.....
« on: July 17, 2012, 07:31:58 PM »

50 shades darker.. the buckie years....

“Dae ye trust us?” he snorts.
"Aye, spose so" I said oot wan side ae ma gub while takin a draw oot ma fag, wide-eyed, ma heart bouncing aff ma ribs, ma blood pressure thru the roof wi lust!!.
He reaches doon, an fae his trackie poaket, he pulls oot his silver grey polyester tie… that silver grey tie that he wears tae court is noo bindin ma podgy wrists!. He moves dead fast!! No bad fur sum c**t oan DLA! sitting astride me as he fastens ma wrists the gether, but this time, he ties the other end ae the tie to wan ae the spokes ae ma white iron Argos headboard. He pulls at the tie makin sure im trussed up like sumat oot a rodeo. I’m no going anywhere. I’m tied, literally, to ma bed, an I’m drookit wi desire!!.
He slides aff me an stauns aside the bed, staring doon at me, his dark eyes cross wi want, or mushys.. who knows?!. His look is triumphant, chuffed tae the guttie that he hus tamed the beast!.
“That’s better,” he whines, an smiles a wicked, knowing toothless smile. He bends an starts undoing wan ae ma gutties, ah wish ah had oan ma Uggs so’s he cud rip them aff!!. Aww naw!! no… no… ma feet, they’re pure hummin man!. I’ve just been running tae the offy fur sum Buckie an a box ae micro chips fur the weans!!.
“Naw,” I protest, trying tae gie him a swift kick tae the walloper!!.
He stoaps.
“If ye struggle, I’ll tie yer feet, anawl!. If ye make a noise, Senga, Ahl gag ye. So shut yer geggie or it’s 40 rapids tae the chin! Chantelle, Keanua and the others are probably ootside listening right now.” Gag us! weans! I shut up....
He removes ma shoes an ma socks efficiently an slowly peels aff ma shelly boatums. Oh? - whit skants um a wearing? Sh*t man!! Hope thur clean! He lifts me an pulls ma quilt oot fae underneath us an places me back doon, this time oan the sheets. “Noo then.” He licks his chapped bottom lip slowly. “Ye’re biting that lip, Senga, ye been oan the bath salts??. Ye know whit it dis tae me!.” He places his roll up stained index finger ower ma mooth, “zip it fatty” he says... a warning.
Sakes man!!. I can barely contain maself, lying helpless like a pun ae mince, watching him move like Jagger roon ma room. It’s a heady aphrodisiac, a pure turn oan!! ya belter!!. Slowly, almost leisurely, he removes his gutties undoes his mars bar troosers, an lifts his vest tap aff ower his head, his gold chains rattlin!. “I think ye’ve seen too much doll,” he chuckles slyly. He sits astride me again, pulls ma egg stained t-shirt up, an I think he’s going tae take it aff me, but he rolls it up to ma neck an then pulls it up ower ma heed so he can see ma mooth an ma nose, but it covers ma eyes. – he changes his mind and pits the pilla ower ma face.. fink its cos ahm a stunner?? He tells me tae bite the pilla... yas man!! Go fur it!! Malky ya big RRRIDE!!!.. I wait.. Malky? Malky? I heedbutt the pilla aff ma noggin and see ma purse is gone!! BAS***D!! Malky ya bawbag!! Ye shot the craw wi ma purse.... untie me ya riot!!! This grey tie’s gittin rammed up yer council gritter.. he shouts up fae the close.. “laters baby”....

Plagiarised from ????? ?????
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I will get there, don't really know where there is!

EAB

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2012, 07:39:32 PM »

Us Gleswegians are pure class!!!
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Anne B

hot&spicy

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2012, 08:57:36 PM »

That's pure dead brilliant!  ;) xxx
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Cook

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2012, 09:08:15 PM »

I'm not a Scot so have no idea what this says  ;D
It does look good  ;)
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jgr

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2012, 09:42:46 PM »

You can't beat the Weegie humour, that's a stoater. ;D
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coffee mate

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2012, 05:52:04 AM »

 ;D ;D Yes, that is how it should be written. Fabulous read.

 Can't wait to buy a copy.  ;D 


cm xxxx
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cubagirl

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2012, 10:17:40 AM »

Pure dead brilliant. Canna beat the Weegies, though think the the Edinburgers may protest that they are better.   ;D ;D ;D
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Things can only get better....

Eddie

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2012, 03:55:13 PM »

There's only one way to find out........according to Harry Hill.
Eddie. x
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I will get there, don't really know where there is!

hot&spicy

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2012, 04:00:05 PM »

Fii...ght!  :rofl:

Now I am an edinburger but love the weegies so I wouldn't be able to join the fight! Shops are better in Glasgow, the people are friendlier and have a fab sense of humour - mind you edinburgh is prettier - oops here comes that fight...  ;D xxx
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Eddie

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2012, 04:06:16 PM »

Now, i'm kind of central, although born in Glasgow. I've very seldom been to Edinburgh, but i thought there was better shopping in Edinburgh.
Eddie.x
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honeybun

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2012, 06:25:12 PM »

Brilliant


But excuse me ladies.

Forget the cities and take a "wee trip doon the watter"  Ye canny beat it  ;D

Honeyb
x

Oh and a question for you both.

Vinegar or brown sauce ?????
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cubagirl

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2012, 06:29:01 PM »

Oh neither in my case HB.

Edinburgh is prettier by far, but I agree shopping is better in Glesga!  ;D
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Things can only get better....

Eddie

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2012, 07:04:55 PM »

Vinegar on chips, brown sauce on sausage, ketchup on burgers, mustard on steak, is this just scottish?
Eddie. x
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I will get there, don't really know where there is!

EAB

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2012, 07:49:17 PM »

Totally agree with you Eddie. Condiments have their rightful place. Any deviation from this is just weird.
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Anne B

honeybun

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Re: 50 shades of Glasgow.....
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2012, 07:51:17 PM »

Do East Coasters not like brown sauce on their chips rather than vinegar.

Honeyb
x
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