Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Losingtheplot on November 08, 2025, 09:25:42 AM
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Hi Ladies,
I am in such a low dark place and ready to give up!.
I am on HRT recently increased due to return of symptoms. Has been 4 weeks. I am 50 but unsure what stage I am in peri/ meno. I am so fed up of constantly feeling down, anxious and depressed. I started taking 20mg ot fluoxetine 3 weeks ago.
I have an appointment with my Gp on Monday and a friend has suggested I ask for a full blood test to see if I am deficient in anything.
I am having thoughts that I am better off not being here :'(. These thoughts have been with me for weeks. I have other stressors in my life too. A teenage son who is unhappy and moody and I don't have the strength to deal with anymore.
I am off work and have been for just over a week. My manager has been v supportive which has been great and totally understands. I am just so scared that due to my bad mental health I will end up doing something to myself. I am finding this so unbearable.
I know things will improve eventually but I don't feel I have time on my side and have actively looked at ways of ending my life!.
I don't want to be here anymore :'( :'( :'(.
This all happened to my 2.5 years ago. I never thought it would hit me so hard again. I don't know whether to get myself admitted or sectioned as its not normal to want to end your life.
Sorry ladies but I can't see a way out. :'( :'( :'( :stupid: :stupid:
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I can't read this and not post my love.
I too am in immense struggles. Have posts like 'just fading away'. Mine is not so much mental health, but physical leading to me feeling like I want out.
Hopefully someone with knowledge will come along to help you this morning.
What can I say? I think you're probably answering it yourself. If you feel you need care - go immediately and ask for it. You've said your son needs you. My son's keep me going. Do it for him. Seek the help today.
Please someone come and help this lady this morning....???? :-*
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Do ring the Samaritans !!! now !!! , then send an e-mail to your GP to request an urgent appt - our Surgery has a triage on-line system and I am seen within 2 days.
U can walk into A&E or a Pharmacy so that U R not alone. Your son needs to get support, is he still in School? There should be a pastoral person with whom he can talk. We were not allowed to be moody! It simply didn't happen.
I've been where U R for different reasons, I literally hung onto the bannisters whilst my little cat sat behind me on the stair, purring gently, the other cat and dog at my feet. I never want 2 feel that scared! I take half a day at a time which helps.
Which symptom were U helping to ease when U began HRT?
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Hi
A close friend has just called me and that has helped.
The HRT has helped with hot flushes which came back after being under control. I was also getting mood swings, irritability, brain fog. Then the panic attacks palpitations and severe anxiety started.
I have given my son links to speak to someone if he needs to work through some issues. He has a terrible attitude at the min and his relationship isnt the best with us at the min.
I know he is going they puberty too
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Breathe.. life sounds tough. You have your own feelings to deal with, plus those of your son.
Giving the Samaritans a call today, is good advice. You also have your friend to lean on.
Will you have a complete review of your HRT on Mondays appointment with the GP? You must let them know of your intrusive thoughts. It can take a while for any anti depressant to kick in. Maybe this needs reviewing too?
Is your son receiving support at school for his MH? How old is he? Are his teachers aware of his situation?
As CLKD mentioned, if you feel you may hurt yourself, please present at a&e quickly, or ring 111?
We are here for you too.
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Breathe.. life sounds tough. You have your own feelings to deal with, plus those of your son.
Giving the Samaritans a call today, is good advice. You also have your friend to lean on.
Will you have a complete review of your HRT on Mondays appointment with the GP? You must let them know of your intrusive thoughts. It can take a while for any anti depressant to kick in. Maybe this needs reviewing too?
Is your son receiving support at school for his MH? How old is he? Are his teachers aware of his situation?
As CLKD mentioned, if you feel you may hurt yourself, please present at a&e quickly, or ring 111?
We are here for you too.
Hi Nas,
Thank you for replying. I am ok now the thoughts were very persistent this morning and I have pushed through them. I have v supportive friends and they all know what I am going thru as does my sister. So I do have people to reach out to. But need to work thru this myself too.
I have been feeling like this for weeks and weeks now and know the meds take some time to work unfortunately. No quick fix and I had prepared myself for that. Just 3 weeks in to Ad's and still struggling with anxiety has me thinking at times that I need out. My mind has calmed alot over past few weeks but the dark thoughts still appear. I feel immense 😔 sadness too. As I don't want to feel this way. These Ad's have helped me so much in the past so I know its case of riding the storm and also letting the increase in HRT have time to work. Only been 4 weeks since it was increased.
I had an appointment with the GP a couple of weeks ago, and that was to discuss the HRT increase. I didn't feel totally happy after this appointment and I booked the appointment on Monday discuss as a follow on. This GP I am seeing on Monday did my annual review in July when things were still stable.
I want to discuss my current HRT - increase from 0.5mg of sandrena gel to 1mg sandrena gel and 1 prog tablet. Also my current issues with intense anxiety/depression and what other meds I can take alongside to support me until things improve.
The panic attacks and palpitations have stopped along with the hot flushes but the sadness and lack of motivation, depression, anxiety is still there in an unmanageable way, and until it is manageable I do not feel ready to return to work. So I do feel the HRT increase has helped.
My son has just turned 15 and has only just opened up to me about things and I feel that he had a falling out with friends, which lead to him being moody etc. He had told me he didn't care about things anymore and knows he is moody and distant but blames us for that.
We have always been supportive and he told me a couple of days later that he regretted saying these things.
My son is v quiet and doesn't find it easy to open up. He prefers to WhatsApp me. The school haven't reported any issues to me and I would need to ask my son if he wants to speak to the pastural teacher at school. I have given my son links to access support for MH and sounding off if he doesn't feel comfortable talking to me.
I have also suggested counselling to him, which he said he would consider, but feels things are ok for now.
My son and his dad have been clashing too and I feel stuck in the middle
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Hello Losing the plot.
I am sorry that you are suffering and my heart goes out to you.
It is a good thing that you are seeing your GP on Monday and I agree with your friend that you should ask for a full blood test that would show any deficiencies.
I have been learning about iron deficiency lately and I was surprised to see how similar the symptoms are to anxiety and depression as well as the menopause. If you do have blood tests please check that your levels are not too low as even low/ normal range can be problematic and need treatment with supplements.
I hope your GP is able to help you and please let us know how you get on.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K .
I hope your appointment is helpful and that
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Not much to add as you have some great advice here but, in terms of your HRT, depression is usually due to progesterone being too high (and anxiety is oestrogen too high).
Utrogestan is known to cause suicidal thoughts when the balance is off so just wanted to add that here.
Also, as you know, ADs can cause anxiety as they ramp up.
Try to rationalise all that is going on with you and your son, there are reasons (usually the damn hormones!) and tell yourself that you are working on it all and things will settle in time. If you have to repeat anything to yourself, to override the panicked thoughts, please repeat that.
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Making sure that your son gets support in school is important, mayB next week contact the pastoral team or Head of Year. We tend to lash out at those closest because that feels safe, however, we don't take into account how that impacts on others. Learning to keep gob wide closed isn't my best trait even now! Your son is 15 so you do not need his permission to discuss with the School: which should be confidential anyway. He's a teen and shouldn't be laying down the Law about how you do/not speak with.
At least he's aware: mayB ask how he feels that you R 2 blame? It's easier to pass the buck to others than face our responses, it's such a difficult age. Having said that in the 1950s,60s/70s we simply weren't allowed to be moody. Many of my peer group had part time jobs by the time they were 14, delivering papers for example. It is suggested that when issues need to be discussed that a walk or a car journey is better than being face2face. There are also other things to look at rather than concentrating fully on problems.
He's a teen so there will be clashes. His Dad and you need to be on the same page, agreeing with a strategy and stick to what you agree to. It will also depend on how every1 reacts to stresses and discussions so saying "I need to think about your problem" B4 making suggestions etc. gives every1 breathing space. He needs to know that he does not need to solve his problems alone, that many will have similar feelings.
Pleased that you began to feel better, my worse times were after 3.30 a.m. and I would improve as the day went by.
Anti-depressant medication is different to anti-anxiety, although some ADs may ease the latter symptoms. Asking for a dedicated anti-anxiety med is important.
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Losingtheplot, I'm also really sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. It can't be easy when you have your son to look after.
You have had a lot of good advice on here but one question, you mentioned a progesterone tablet, what type of progesterone tablet is it? If it's Utrogestan it may well be causing extreme depression and anxiety as DM says.
You might not be getting enough oestrogen either so the combination of high progesterone (particularly Utrogestan) and low oestrogen would cause no end of problems. Do you know your oestrogen blood levels? You might not be absorbing the Sandrena properly.
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Losingtheplot, I'm also really sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. It can't be easy when you have your son to look after.
You have had a lot of good advice on here but one question, you mentioned a progesterone tablet, what type of progesterone tablet is it? If it's Utrogestan it may well be causing extreme depression and anxiety as DM says.
You might not be getting enough oestrogen either so the combination of high progesterone (particularly Utrogestan) and low oestrogen would cause no end of problems. Do you know your oestrogen blood levels? You might not be absorbing the Sandrena properly.
Thank you everyone for replying.
CLKD my son has asked to have counselling so I am going to sort that out and I will be speaking to the school head etc too.
I have been on 0.5mg sandrena gel and 1 prog tab sometimes utrogestan other times Getaprix depending on stock availability. This was a v v low dose of gel but sorted my symptoms out.
I have been great on this level of HRT for 2.5 years. A few weeks ago the hot flushes returned along with the morning dread etc. I increased my gel to 1mg still with 1 prog tablet as all within guidelines.
I know HRT takes time to work but after a week my hot flushes stopped, so I do feel the HRT is helping.
The last bad episode I had like this at age 47 was same the flushes stopped quite soon after starting HRT, the panic, anxiety took much longer.
I think I just need to preserve with the Ad's. Ive increased to 2 x 20mg after 3.5 weeks of 1 x20mg.
I don't know what else the GP can do and I am close to be asking to be sectioned. I am hoping she can give me some anti anxiety meds to help me. I just want to be me again 😪
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Hello Losing the plot.
I am sorry that you are suffering and my heart goes out to you.
It is a good thing that you are seeing your GP on Monday and I agree with your friend that you should ask for a full blood test that would show any deficiencies.
I have been learning about iron deficiency lately and I was surprised to see how similar the symptoms are to anxiety and depression as well as the menopause. If you do have blood tests please check that your levels are not too low as even low/ normal range can be problematic and need treatment with supplements.
I hope your GP is able to help you and please let us know how you get on.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K .
I hope your appointment is helpful and that
Thank you I do hope the GP agrees to do the blood test.
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Losingtheplot, I'm also really sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. It can't be easy when you have your son to look after.
You have had a lot of good advice on here but one question, you mentioned a progesterone tablet, what type of progesterone tablet is it? If it's Utrogestan it may well be causing extreme depression and anxiety as DM says.
You might not be getting enough oestrogen either so the combination of high progesterone (particularly Utrogestan) and low oestrogen would cause no end of problems. Do you know your oestrogen blood levels? You might not be absorbing the Sandrena properly.
Hi
I have no idea what my levels are its all guess work. Hoping the Gp can help by agreeing to do the blood test.
I feel my oestrogen dropped a few weeks ago hence all the awful symptoms coming back. The hot flushes confirmed that. With the increase in gel these have stopped therefore my oestrogen must've been low?.
I need to work on my mental health as it is scaring me.
I will tell the GP that I'm scared at times. Do I need sectioned for my own safety?.
Mental illness is just so debilitating and I had very bad post natal depression when my son was born. This is on a whole new level of feeling low. I just hope I get thru it again as Im sick of feeling like this 😞
Im trying so hard to help myself. Forced myself to go swimming but felt so lightheaded in the pool. I had eaten breakfast too.
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Morning. Did U sleep?
Feeling low is totally different to deep depression which many, even GPs, don't understand. Every morning as I wake my head says 'OH no not another day do I have to get. up?' but once up and at it, that feeling goes. In the main I enjoy each day.
Sorting out DS's problems is a big step for you both.
If U feel that you are in need of constant support, do ring your GP services today or go to A&E although the wait there maybe long.
Being light headed is a sign of anxiety raising hormonal levels, I often feel like that when I'm in panic mode. When the anxiety levels drop I can feel really really weary.
Adding to your meds is correct, it may take 24 hours B4 U notice a difference. In April my GP added 5mg to my 24 hour regime which really helped. It mayB that your hormones are fluctuating = mood changes.
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Morning. Did U sleep?
Feeling low is totally different to deep depression which many, even GPs, don't understand. Every morning as I wake my head says 'OH no not another day do I have to get. up?' but once up and at it, that feeling goes. In the main I enjoy each day.
Sorting out DS's problems is a big step for you both.
If U feel that you are in need of constant support, do ring your GP services today or go to A&E although the wait there maybe long.
Being light headed is a sign of anxiety raising hormonal levels, I often feel like that when I'm in panic mode. When the anxiety levels drop I can feel really really weary.
Adding to your meds is correct, it may take 24 hours B4 U notice a difference. In April my GP added 5mg to my 24 hour regime which really helped. It mayB that your hormones are fluctuating = mood changes.
I sleep fine have no issues luckily. Its when I wake I feel the dread although the immense panic has subsided I just feel v sad and dread the day ahead.
I feel mentally exhausted at having to get thru another day putting an act on. So I honestly regret that I have woken up!.
I find things difficult throughout the day and v challenging if I have to leave the house. My son has now changed his mind about the counselling, much to my disappointment 😞. I have provided him with the links, email addresses and telephone number to refer himself for counselling when he feels ready. I can't push the issue as he just shuts down. His dad feels that our son has an attitude problem so I am left dealing with it all.
I have told my son that I am worried about him.
I am overwhelmed with everything as I have enough with my own issues.
I do hope my GP is agreeable to the blood test so all my levels can be checked.
In the meantime I have to continue with the Ad's not sure what else the GP can or will suggest prescribing alongside it just to take until things improve.
There is a faint light shining but each time I feel I am improving even slightly more stressors knock me back e.g my son's struggles
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Your Husband is correct: your son has attitude problems, he's a TEEN - comes with the terrirotyr. Apparently!
Your son will chop and change, this may depend upon how he is feeling at that moment. Do talk to the School to find out what is available. That way the Staff can step in when necessary.
Keep up with the ADs too much change now won't help. As 4 your son, do explain that your suggestions are intended to help and that U will not accept moods around the house. Become the parent and your husband should also put foot down with firm hand. If your son kicks off allow him to vent ........ home should be the safe space. Try not to worry too much about him, you have given him routes to access. At his age they still need the support even though they won't agree!
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Your Husband is correct: your son has attitude problems, he's a TEEN - comes with the terrirotyr. Apparently!
Your son will chop and change, this may depend upon how he is feeling at that moment. Do talk to the School to find out what is available. That way the Staff can step in when necessary.
Keep up with the ADs too much change now won't help. As 4 your son, do explain that your suggestions are intended to help and that U will not accept moods around the house. Become the parent and your husband should also put foot down with firm hand. If your son kicks off allow him to vent ........ home should be the safe space. Try not to worry too much about him, you have given him routes to access. At his age they still need the support even though they won't agree!
Thank you. I will stick with the Ad's
I know things will get better both for me and my son, I know that.
I am being a parent but its a fine line when someone is struggling to be to firm. I have explained to my son that everyone can struggle at times and its important to get help. I have told him I am worried about him. He is a very sensitive boy and does take things to heart. He knows the boundaries by us set and rarely over steps them.
Everyone has there own parenting technique and I won't stand for bad language (not that this is an issue or aggression again not an issue).
Its more my son sounding off and venting.
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Which I do often, mainly at the TV ::)
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Just woke up feelings of dread,how will I get thru the day. Don't want to be here.
I have a GP appointment today, not expecting a miracle cure as one doesn't exist. I'm am so worn out with feeling like this and fighting my dark thoughts every waking moment of everyday. The only time my mind is at rest is when I sleep.
I will ask my GP for a full blood count, explain my dark thoughts but what can she do in reality. Nothing. Tell me to wait for the increase in HRT to work, only been 4 weeks.
Everyday is a living torture in my mind mentally. Im trying to keep it together in front of hubby as I don't want him worrying.
He made a joke yesterday how back to work for him on Monday, but ok for some as I have decided to take a few weeks off!
That hurt deeply 😞 but I know he was joking as he doesn't know how to help me.
I also have an assessment with Talking Therapies today. Tried CBT with them in the past and wasn't for me. Not sure what therapy they will suggest 🤔. I do have childhood trauma that affects me but a history of anxiety and depression too.
Anyway time to put a mask on !
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I have fixed grins in a drawer ;-)
Many years ago when my IBS took over I spent a day in desperation thinking that the GP would tell me that I had 'to live with it'. Nothing further than the truth, once the symptoms were described "I can help U with that".
So don't anticipate. Tell your GP that your dark thoughts are nothing to do with waiting for the HRT to kick in, that U need help now. Your GP has options when patients are truthful.
I can understand your hurt with your husband's comment, he really shouldn't ........ but men are not able to think ahead! As U say, many remain in the dark.
Let us know how you get on. CBT was no good 4 me as my phobia began within hours of being born, a deeply learnt pattern.
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GP has told to me to wait till 3 months for the HRT and if needed dose can be increased after this time. Most symptoms are controlled now, just the anxiety/ depression.
GP is agreeable to bloods to check levels for Vit D, Iron, Thyroid and Vit B12.
Wants me to stay on the increased Ad's and be reviewed in 2 weeks by then will be 6 weeks of being on Ad's and 2.5 weeks of increased dose.
If no significant improvement she may look at changing Ad's from Fluoxetine to Sertraline.
If things improve on the increased Fluoxetine then I continue this dose till Jan and see how things are then.
I do feel some improvements on Fluoxetine, my mind isnt racing constantly its just the lack of motivation, immense low mood, hopelessness.
The GP was v understanding and at 54 she told me she still struggles.
I just want to be at the stage where things are manageable so I can live a quality of life and go back to work. Not be consumed with dark thoughts and feelings that I can't cope. Will take a day at a time and focus on me.
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Hello again Losingtheplot.
It sounds as if your appointment went well and your GP is certainly covering all the bases for you.
One of the things I learned recently is that iron deficiency can reduce the effectiveness of ADs, so a full blood test is a good idea.
I hope you feel reassured now that plans are in place to help you and please keep us updated.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
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Losing the plot I get you. Totally.
Im currently weaning off HRT. I will not bore you with the details but I feel very similar although it is up and down. Already on Citalopram 20mg longstanding and my anxiety and depression has been horrid. Particularly in the mornings. I too have found myself looking into suicide disturbingly. It is up and down I will say, some days worse than others. I have taken sick leave from work, 4th week currently and honestly I thought Id have gone back by now.
My advise if I can be interfering? Be honest with your husband. Ive been as honest as I can with mine and my 2 adult daughters and they have been incredibly supportive.
The worst for me is Im quite bored but am unable to make plans as I dont know how Ill feel. It sucks.
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Losingtheplot - why is your GP waiting for 2 more weeks when U have such severe symptoms?
Which is worse for you: depression or anxiety?
Lucoley - don't be bored, plenty of afternoon TV to doze in front of ;-). Starting at 10 with Homes under the Hammer ........ :D. Allow the medication to do it' work and like U, I try not to make plans 'in case I feel worse' >:(
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Hello again Losingtheplot.
It sounds as if your appointment went well and your GP is certainly covering all the bases for you.
One of the things I learned recently is that iron deficiency can reduce the effectiveness of ADs, so a full blood test is a good idea.
I hope you feel reassured now that plans are in place to help you and please keep us updated.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
Hi Kathleen,
Yes I do feel reassured thanks. Atleast if I am deficient in Iron I can increase my levels by taking some supplements. I think my vit d should be ok as I take a supplement everyday.
Either way I will know where I stand with my levels. And you are right low iron can play havoc with anxiety and low mood.
Thank you I will I appreciate your support
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Losing the plot I get you. Totally.
Im currently weaning off HRT. I will not bore you with the details but I feel very similar although it is up and down. Already on Citalopram 20mg longstanding and my anxiety and depression has been horrid. Particularly in the mornings. I too have found myself looking into suicide disturbingly. It is up and down I will say, some days worse than others. I have taken sick leave from work, 4th week currently and honestly I thought Id have gone back by now.
My advise if I can be interfering? Be honest with your husband. Ive been as honest as I can with mine and my 2 adult daughters and they have been incredibly supportive.
The worst for me is Im quite bored but am unable to make plans as I dont know how Ill feel. It sucks.
Ahhh thank you for sharing how you are feeling. I am so sorry you are also going thru a horrendous time. You have my fullest sympathy. I have today told my husband how I am struggling and he is being very supportive. I just don't like to worry him. Its a difficult situation as being honest is the best way. However he has lost people close to him to suicide, his aunty a number of years ago.
I feel for you with the plan making as I am also reluctant to make.plans and also feeling v bored. I need to get back to the gym even if its just for 30 mins.
I hope things improve for you soon. Has the HRT not helped you?
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Losingtheplot - why is your GP waiting for 2 more weeks when U have such severe symptoms?
Which is worse for you: depression or anxiety?
Lucoley - don't be bored, plenty of afternoon TV to doze in front of ;-). Starting at 10 with Homes under the Hammer ........ :D. Allow the medication to do it' work and like U, I try not to make plans 'in case I feel worse' >:(
I do feel the Ad's are helping and things tend to get worse on them before better. The suicide thoughts are less and my mind is less busy with negative thoughts so I feel they are helping but need longer to see if increased dose takes the edge off some.more.
As I increased the dose 3 days ago she said can take a few weeks for that to show any benefit. She did offer Sertraline but I opted to stay with the Fluoxetine for now so she agreed to review me in 2 weeks and said if I didn't feel improvement then she suggests I try Sertraline.
I guess its a waiting game for now.
I don't want to chop.and change my meds too soon if I am feeling some benefit. I feel the anxiety has worn me down and lead to some feelings of depression but the anxiety is still the main driving force.
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My friend did well on Sertraline whereas the escitalopram really suits me. Especially after my GP upped by 5mg in April. So stick with what U R, did U explain your suicidal thoughts to the GP?
At least U R having less intrusive thoughts etc. , that's a relief. ..... and breath. Certainly I know the difference between depression and anxiety.
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My friend did well on Sertraline whereas the escitalopram really suits me. Especially after my GP upped by 5mg in April. So stick with what U R, did U explain your suicidal thoughts to the GP?
At least U R having less intrusive thoughts etc. , that's a relief. ..... and breath. Certainly I know the difference between depression and anxiety.
I did explain the dark thoughts and that can happen with Ad's unfortunately.
Yes I don't feel depressed as that is a whole debilitating illness where I cant get out of bed.
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Yep. I would crawl down the stairs when the dog wanted 'out', lay on the floor with the French doors open until she jumped back inside: then crawl back upstairs.
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I am hopeful things will get better as for whatever reason I do feel alot calmer this afternoon.
I have actually enjoyed the food I have eaten today too, which I haven't done for weeks and weeks and have just been eating to give my body energy and not to feel worse than I already was.
I do think the appointment with Gp this morning as well as telling hubby how I am feeling has helped me.
I appreciate all the ladies on here that have taken the time to reply and offer words of support and shared their struggles too as this had also helped me, although I am sorry that other ladies are suffering too and wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I have set myself a goal to go to the gym tomorrow even if its for 30 mins - if I feel panicky I will try and work thru it but will see how I feel tomorrow.
I will then have my 2 dogs to walk later in afternoon so I have to go out then as I won't deprive them of a walk thats why I know this is not depression. When I have suffered depression in the past even walking to the toilet from my bed has been a huge effort! It really does totally and utterly rob you of any kind of joy and is just a v v dark black cloud looming over.
I may have started to overlap and get some depression symptoms mixed in with the anxiety as I know due to lack of hormones it is possible to suffer both.
The light at the end of tunnel is shining a little brighter so I do feel things are improving although slowly but that is the joy of how HRT and Ad's work just have to ride it out unfortunately.
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I did ask my GP if my hormone levels could be checkd to see how low I was in Estrogen but she refused saying that as I was 50 years old my levels would.be low.
So its a guessing game to how much sandrena gel I use. There is so little support it infuriates me.
So I wait 3 months and see if things settle. If my anxiety is hormonal related and I am not getting sufficient Estrodial I need to rely on Ad's to help me. That makes perfect sense!.
I know many other ladies are in the same situation as me.
I am to keep the contraceptive implant in for 3 years and then for the last 2 years been advised I can go on the pill
As my sex life is non existent I may as well get the implant out, however I don't bleed when I have it and its a risk.
So confused 😕
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Sorry not to have been around today, the Forum has been so slow!
Hormone blood tests can be reliably un-reliable, specially for those on HRT. How low is low though ?
I think that you need a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic to get correct advice, they can send a letter to your GP to explain what you might require.
How have U felt today? Keep the implant for now!!!! ;-)
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If you can afford it, both randox and medichecks do hormonal bloods.
If you use gel, you can use randox's tasso device to avoid finger contamination.
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Sorry not to have been around today, the Forum has been so slow!
Hormone blood tests can be reliably un-reliable, specially for those on HRT. How low is low though ?
I think that you need a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic to get correct advice, they can send a letter to your GP to explain what you might require.
How have U felt today? Keep the implant for now!!!! ;-)
Hi
That's ok 👍
I have seen a menopause specialist before so may suggest another referral.
I have felt very flat today but no bad thoughts like before. Still finding some things a struggle and didnt make it to the gym today.
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If you can afford it, both randox and medichecks do hormonal bloods.
If you use gel, you can use randox's tasso device to avoid finger contamination.
Thank you. I might look into that.
I suppose hormones can fluctuate so maybe getting bloods done won't achieve much.
I do appreciate you taking the time to message and I am sorry you are going thru such a bad time in other ways to me.
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If you can afford it, both randox and medichecks do hormonal bloods.
If you use gel, you can use randox's tasso device to avoid finger contamination.
Thank you for the information and taking the time to message.
I may look into this, however if I am peri my hormones will be fluctuating I guess. As you can tell I am v frustrated at the min.
I am sorry that you are also going thru a bad time too, I wouldn't act on my thoughts for my son and my families sake but just felt so at my wits end. I am.not feeling suicidal anymore just sad and frustrated.
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Hi Losing, I'm sorry things are so bad.
I've just been thinking how to help (from someone who has been in the hormonal depths & is slightly out the other side).
You mention childhood trauma (again ditto). I was previously very buttoned up about mine, but now would say that talking about it to a trained therapist can really help make sense of difficult thoughts.
It doesn't have to be CBT, there are many alternative approaches.
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Hi Losing, I'm sorry things are so bad.
I've just been thinking how to help (from someone who has been in the hormonal depths & is slightly out the other side).
You mention childhood trauma (again ditto). I was previously very buttoned up about mine, but now would say that talking about it to a trained therapist can really help make sense of difficult thoughts.
It doesn't have to be CBT, there are many alternative approaches.
Hi Minniemouse
I think I have lived with the trauma for so long now that I only seem to be able to live a quality of life on Ad's.
I think work stresses have contributed alot this time round but the brain fog and lack of concentration has just spiralled things out of control.
It all has a knock on effect and I feel that the symptoms have crept up on me and led me to a dark place.
I don't cope well with stress and can get overwhelmed v easily.
I have another telephone assessment with Talking Therapies in 2 weeks. I may see what they can offer me.
If this is partly hormonal.though no amount of therapy will help as my brain is depleted of essential hormones?
I feel its a mixture of things to be honest as I find the dark nights difficult and am not a fan of this time of the year. That in top of heightened anxiety and hormonal imbalance = a mess.
Pleased you got thru you bad time and its reassuring that can happen.
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Yes, the hormonal imbalance knocks everything off kilter,
which makes it a vulnerable time full stop.
I've found that self-care across the board, hormones, therapy, good food, good bras!...all helps to deal with this really sh*t phase.
I also hate the dark nights, have really really struggled with that through peri-meno.
Daylight exposure crucial. Also finding sanctuary in podcasts, distraction. xx
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Yes, the hormonal imbalance knocks everything off kilter,
which makes it a vulnerable time full stop.
I've found that self-care across the board, hormones, therapy, good food, good bras!...all helps to deal with this really sh*t phase.
I also hate the dark nights, have really really struggled with that through peri-meno.
Daylight exposure crucial. Also finding sanctuary in podcasts, distraction. xx
Thank you. I am hoping things settle soon. Can feel things improving just v slowly. Im not a teary mess anymore or on the verge of tears. So that is good. I feel v run down today though, a sore throat and bad head and just exhausted.
I really hope at 50 I am close to the end and will be in menopause/post meno soon. I understand that stage isnt a picnic in the park for many ladies either.
Just hoping once my hormones have depleted at the lowest level then the HRT may beable to be more stable.
Otherwise I know this situation can occur again in the future where levels drop and I am.left crippled again!.
Pointless focusing on the next bout that may occur and feel relief that things are settling.
The Ad's will be helping and the HRT. Its just awful waiting for them to work.
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:bighug:
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I’m so sorry for the pain you’re in. It’s numbing. Virtual hand holding and sending love your way. I know it’s not much, but heartfelt xx
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Morning. Does it matter if we need to take our medication regime for a long time? Would we worry if it were heart or diabetic meds.?
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Hiya! I hope you're ok today. It sounds like you're starting to feel a wee bit better. Just keep celebrating the small wins at this stage. It sounds like you've been through similar phases before so you know how to do this even if it's a bigger hill to climb this time round.
You sound like a really caring, empathetic parent which is all a kid can hope for. Try not to sweat it with the kid, this is one of those brief times when you need to he a bit "selfish," or to use a better term realistic, about how much you have to give. Remember we put our oxygen masks on first, before kids, in an emergency and this is an emergency right now! It's ok to just focus on yourself and let the kiddo know you love them but it's mummy time right now.
You are doing everything right, you've been strong enough to ask for help, you're focused on trying to eat well and get out for those dog walks, you're working on the meds. Take each day as it comes, be patient and kind to yourself, celebrate each little win. You're really unwell right now and deserve some grace.
One thing I want to say at the risk of throwing another spanner in the world is have you ever been assessed for AuDHD? Your pattern of struggling with your mental health and 'burning out' during menopause along with a few other things you mention sound quite like my own journey. ... Just diagnosed with AuDHD at 46. It might be worth looking into when you have a bit more headspace to do so.
You got this.
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I’m so sorry for the pain you’re in. It’s numbing. Virtual hand holding and sending love your way. I know it’s not much, but heartfelt xx
Thank you x
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Morning. Does it matter if we need to take our medication regime for a long time? Would we worry if it were heart or diabetic meds.?
I am happy to take any meds or HRT that helps me for as long as I need.Its just taking such a long time for things to settle which can be the case for hormones and mental health issues.
I regret stopping my Ad's in June when I have had so many relapses when I have done this in the past.
I won't be making that mistake again. For the past 2.5 years that I was on them and the HRT my life was great. I was just on 20mg a day but it allowed me live.
I should of realised that another dip like this could happen and from what I recall this appears more dark than the last peri related one age 47. Just with the intrusive thoughts.
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Hiya! I hope you're ok today. It sounds like you're starting to feel a wee bit better. Just keep celebrating the small wins at this stage. It sounds like you've been through similar phases before so you know how to do this even if it's a bigger hill to climb this time round.
You sound like a really caring, empathetic parent which is all a kid can hope for. Try not to sweat it with the kid, this is one of those brief times when you need to he a bit "selfish," or to use a better term realistic, about how much you have to give. Remember we put our oxygen masks on first, before kids, in an emergency and this is an emergency right now! It's ok to just focus on yourself and let the kiddo know you love them but it's mummy time right now.
You are doing everything right, you've been strong enough to ask for help, you're focused on trying to eat well and get out for those dog walks, you're working on the meds. Take each day as it comes, be patient and kind to yourself, celebrate each little win. You're really unwell right now and deserve some grace.
One thing I want to say at the risk of throwing another spanner in the world is have you ever been assessed for AuDHD? Your pattern of struggling with your mental health and 'burning out' during menopause along with a few other things you mention sound quite like my own journey. ... Just diagnosed with AuDHD at 46. It might be worth looking into when you have a bit more headspace to do so.
You got this.
Thank you for the kind words xxxx
I have a history of anxiety and depression which stems back to my childhood. I am a v sensitive person too. I have always found life difficult and the trauma in childhood has followed me into adulthood.
I get overwhelmed easily and find that when too much is happening at once I am unable to cope. This starts the anxiety off and then can lead to depression if I don't deal with issues quick e.g Ad's.
With the above and then also the onset of peri/meno my body is not coping. My dad has Bipolar and Szichsophrena (can't spell it). Maybe its in the genes. My brother suffers depression too.
I appreciate your advice about ADHD, however I do not feel I have that. Pleased that you got the right diagnosis and help.
I will get some trauma counselling and I do accept all that happened but to have 17 years of trauma and expect to live normal life is unrealistic.
I don't dwell on the past however I just let issues and problems consume me to the extent it affects my mental health.
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Well, the morning dread and fear has calmed down for past few days apart from this morning I could feel my brain going into overdrive! I kept telling myself "I am safe", "Everything is ok". I then put one hand on my stomach and one on my chest and did some breathing 4 in hold for 2 and out for 6 slowly. After several rounds I felt calmer. I am still feeling very overwhelmed daily and worn out with it all. I have been fighting a cold and cough for past few days which is making me feel worse.
2 weeks of sicknote left. Blood tests tomorrow. Just have to keep going....
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Hello again Losingtheplot.
I am glad that you are finding ways to calm yourself, every little helps as they say.
Hopefully your blood tests will provide some answers and please keep us updated.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
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Hello again Losingtheplot.
I am glad that you are finding ways to calm yourself, every little helps as they say.
Hopefully your blood tests will provide some answers and please keep us updated.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
Hi Kathleen,
Thank you xxx.
Will keep you informed x
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Still having some thoughts i don't want to be here, but know that's not an option.
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Well, I actually feel like I am turning a corner. The doom and gloom feeling is lifting! I can see a lot more of the light at the end of the tunnel. Really didn't think I would get to this point. I can't express the words at how happy and relieved I am to be out of that awful dark scary place.
I feel the combination of Ad's and increased HRT appear to have been the right combination for me. I do think as I have a history of anxiety and depression when my hormones are low it affects me v v badly.
I will not be giving the Ad's up again, dosage can be decreased and increased as and when required but I am not going thru this again.
I am.also putting myself forward for EMDR therapy for childhood trauma. I know there will be a big waiting list as its on the NHS, however atleast the ball will start rolling. I know my anxiety and depression aside from the hormonal.element does also stem from this trauma.
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Am still struggling mentally, somethings have improved the panic attacks, although I still feel so overwhelmed at doing lots of things. :'(
I am still off work due to ring my manager today. Don't feel ready to go back yet.
Have fit note till end of this month.
Should I just go back?? What if I am like this in another 2 weeks. I have to go back to work at some point.
I know we are still v short staffed so thats adding to my anxiety as I don't feel I can cope with additional pressure at the min.
The situation at work won't change for a while and has been ongoing for a long time now.
I am so fed up and dont know what to do for the best.
I have a review with the Gp on Monday to discuss the increased dosage of Fluoxetine I started 2 weeks ago.
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Well I feel so alone, sick of feeling I can't cope with life. Baby steps I guess. GPs on Monday
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Morning. The brain may take a while to uptake an AD regime. Set backs can feel worse than the original depression and anxiety. The "oh no not again". Sooo disappointing! 4 me it's take to my bed or sofa and doze until the medication kicks in.
Since 1989 I've known what my brain requires, earlier in the year I found myself going into a deep depression so got an emergency appt with my GP who advised increasing my ADs by 5mg. It has helped a lot.
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Yes, I understand it takes time. I am reluctant to want to change the Ad's as I do feel the Fluoxteine has helped.
Just not as much as I had hoped. The Gp review is to discuss if the Ad's have helped.
I think I may need to give them longer, has been 5 weeks.
I am going to ask to be referred for EMDR therapy when I have my assessment on Wed. This time I will answer the phone as I couldn't face it the last time.
Anxiety and depression is awful anyway without menopause adding to it.
Not sure if the GP will give me anything else to take on top. Think I will need to take more time off work too as I have a stressful job and need to feel better before I consider returning. I feel so guilty though and my friends have told me to put myself first.
I know they are right and I will struggle if I go back too soon.
I am so confused 😕
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Don't change to another AD yet because the brain needs to heal with what U R taking.
For anxiety I have been prescribed Valium as necessary; I've found Bachs flower remedy mouth spray useful; I have an emergency go-to anti-anxiety tablet for when I'm floored by it.
Don't plan any further than half a day at a time! How is your sleep pattern?
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Yes, I won't change the Ad.
Sleep is ok luckily. I think I am just so exhausted from the adrenaline rush and energy I use up during the day worrying and fretting that come the night I am drained.
I know its good days and bad days just need more good than bad.
I am juggling a few tasks at the min too which are adding pressure.
I have zero motivation but am forcing myself to do things e.g food shop today.
I am not panicking at the thought of driving anymore.
I might look at increasing HRT at the 3 month mark as I do get lightheaded but its the mental side of things that need improvement
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Little steps. When I come out of a period of high levels of anxiety I feel knackered!
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The anxiety is with me pretty constantly.
I have also been referred to the nurse to discuss Glucose Monitoring following the result of one of my blood tests.
The receptionist tried to reassure me it is nothing to be concerned about, but obviously I am!.
I have had episodes of feeling light headed and am aware I am sometimes leaving several hours between eating due to nausea.
I will discuss more with Gp on Monday but my appointment with nurse is 3 weeks away so surely if I was diabetic I would of been seen sooner.
Maybe this is a preventative measure as I in a high risk group for diabetes and my mam had a pre diabetes incident a few years ago and was monitored yearly and all corrected itself. Any ladies had anything similar?
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I just don't want to be here.
5 weeks on anti ds and still want to escape.
I am so worn out with this all now.
Gp appointment tomorrow and scared she will suggest ai change Ad's.
They have helped to some degree, but the awful dread and dark cloud is still here with me everyday with pretty constant anxiety. I only get respite when I sleep...hence why ai want to sleep forever.
When will this awful feeing go? 6 weeks on increased HRT, maybe if no significant improvement in another 6 weeks increase? So at my wits end :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(