Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: GetStuffedPeri on February 21, 2020, 12:14:03 PM
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Is anyone prepared to be completely honest about just how angry/emotional they get? I feel it's often something that people don't want to admit, but this side of things is just as real as the physical symptoms. There are of course certain "crying at anything" moments that we can genuinely laugh at but the rage side of things is rarely talked about ???
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Bad. I would have divorced me. Useful for telling ignorant doctors what you think though... :rant:
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GetStuffedPeri - I am happy to put it on here and the gory details are in other posts because I don't want others to think that they are literally "going mad" in their heads....Its their bodies which are going "mad" and our health professionals should be able to diagnose instead of sending us for counselling...telling us we have "issues" and pumping us full of AD's when it is hormones out of wack! Not to put to finer point on it - I was "certifiable". I would have been defined as having a complete mental breakdown although it was actually a "hormonal breakdown". Funny enough despite having two screaming fits in the GP's in front of a terrified doctor with the whole waiting room hearing every word no "medical professional" clocked what was going on despite knowing I had a history of PMT, postnatal depression, problems with the pill and I was over 50! with joint pain, nausea, headaches, insomnia and just about everything else other than VA!
My story is all over this forum under my name although it is not known outside it. Everything was completely hidden except from the GP's and my husband and sons! It was pretty dramatic and horrific. I suffered from rage, odd behaviour, crying, duvet days and had a severe urge to "run away". Not just "running away from everything" like we all do sometimes but actually physically "running away" usually in the middle of the night which I did on several occasions. I had it in my head I needed to get to my friends house and she lives in England which is a plane journey away! and the airport is 10 miles from my home! I didn't call a taxi to get there I just would get up and walk! Anyway the really bad bit lasted 18 months and the "medical professionals" were absolutely useless. I did end up at one good counsellor who said "there is nothing wrong with you head, you are suffering from a really bad menopause - go back to you doctor" but I had a battle on my hands when I tried and took a while to get sorted. This forum was my lifesaver when I found it and has been ever since and helped me pretty much crack it cos I realised I wasn't mad at all! xx
Once I was on the right hrt - everything gone! strange that and nothing like any of it since. I am happy to put it on here and the gory details are in other posts because I don't want others to think that they are literally "going mad" in their heads....Its their bodies which are going "mad" and our health professionals should be able to diagnose instead of sending us for counselling...telling us we have "issues" and pumping us full of AD's when it is hormones out of wack!
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Hello GetStuffedPeri and welcome to the forum.
I have had irrational rage in the past though thankfully that phase appears to be over. Well, I certainly hope so.
I remember wondering if that was how fourteen year old boys feel when they had testosterone surges. I remember my son having anger episodes at that age. He is in his mid twenties now but reminds me that all his friends behaved the same way at that time in their lives.
These days I am battling irritability and tearfulness which comes out of nowhere but likes to linger for hours.
I am fortunate that I seem to have escaped some of the meno symptoms, muscle pain for example but the mood swings very disconcerting.
My GP told me recently that HRT was good at controlling the physical symptoms but less so the emotional ones. No sh@t Sherlock I hear you cry lol!
I think it's helpful to talk more about the mental aspect of the menopause because the fear that you are going mad is a very real one in my experience.
Take care everyone.
K.
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I had rages within a few days of each period. What wouldn't bother me for the rest of the month would really 'get me' - a remark, something DH did/not ....... suddenly, I would snap. Nothing would stop the rage until I had shouted myself out: once the bleed began, the bad temper went away. Until the next month.
When angry I would throw things. Nothing expensive ;D. I would also mutter - usually when DH had annoyed me without any reason, when he found me then I would throw something :D - the last time, over 20+ years ago, was a wet dishcloth. He wrung it out on the kitchen floor and threw it back. Then I had the floor to mop ::)
OH! and I would kick doors too :-\. Stamp my feet like a 2 year old. Mutter; not always quietly. My favourite word to date is 'f**k' ........ so if anyone could give me another word that isn't as recognisable?
It is known the PMT can cause women to commit murder, certainly Dr Dalton went to Court with several who were accused. One had killed her Mum :-\
Did U now explain to the GP Kathleen :cuss: :beat: :bang: :kick: ;D.
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For several days each month I feel suicidal. Other times I feel relatively normal. It's like a switch goes off and things just go round and round in my head. It is usually around an issue that I blow up. I become totally irrational...but it feels rational. I try to tell myself it's hormones but the feelings are very strong.
This usually happens just after I get my period so maybe progesterone withdrawal.
I have been on Evorel Sequi for nearly a year. It has helped all my other symptoms but this one. Considering ADs.
Thanks for the thread. We must talk about this
Fusseh
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HORMONES >:( ::)
I would sob the night B4 a bleed even if a period wasn't due - OK after. Until the next month.
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For several days each month I feel suicidal. Other times I feel relatively normal. It's like a switch goes off and things just go round and round in my head. It is usually around an issue that I blow up. I become totally irrational...but it feels rational. I try to tell myself it's hormones but the feelings are very strong.
This usually happens just after I get my period so maybe progesterone withdrawal.
I have been on Evorel Sequi for nearly a year. It has helped all my other symptoms but this one. Considering ADs.
Thanks for the thread. We must talk about this
Fusseh
Fusseh - sorry to hear this. It does sound like it could partly be progesterone withdrawal. This could be exacerbated as your own progesterone withdrawal after ovulation along with the change back to oestrogen only patch could be making it far worse than it need be....
Why not consider one of the COC pills that are designed for peri-menopausal women, instead of HRT? I mean it depends how old you are and how far into menopause but if you are under 50 and your periods were still pretty regular then maybe HRT is not right for you just yet? These pills (QLARA and ZOELY) contain estradiol ie bio-identcial oestrogen just like HRT but they suppress the cycle so avoiding the extreme mood swings, and don't have a whole tablet free week (Qlaira only has two days without added oestrogen). Qlaira has 3 different oestrogen doses throughout the month and the progestogen is one of the newer generation ones that are more user friendly so I'm told.
Personally in your position I would rather try something like this than anti-depressants as these are not indicated for hormonal anxiety due to peri-menopause. Maybe worth thinking about?
Hurdity x
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Ladybt28 - sounds like me at the moment. Since reducing my oestrogel to 2 pumps I have noticed I am more aggressive, I experience really bad low mood at times, instant floods of tears, intrusive thoughts. Also wake during the night wanting to just run away.
During the day I feel spacey, my eyes feel like they are out of focus...? bloody fed up. get rid of one symptom another pops up :-\
I got my Oestodol checked and I was surprised it came back 329.
Ladybt28 - pray tell how did you get sorted, and how long did it take??
Wx
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Hi getstuffedPeri...love your user name. I don't think I have particularly had mood swings but just seem to be constantly quietly worrying about my symptoms and spending too much time Googling medical conditions ??? I have always been a quiet worrier with no obvious outward signs of anxiety etc...
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Warwick01 - there is good news :) and bad news on that front :( :lol:
The good news first - it can be sorted and it did get sorted! :clapping: the bad news was the timescale - 6 types of hrt - nearly 3 years and when I found the right hrt for me a total of 7 months to get rid of pretty much everything! Don't get me wrong I am not miraculously fixed because I wasn't in great shape before meno but at least I now have a life and am no longer a raving lunatic and behave and feel like a relatively normal human being for 99% of the time.
My story is lengthy and traumatic and all over this forum if you check out my posts under my name - but I am living proof there is hope.
My salvation (and it is by no means right for everyone) was 4 pumps of gel up untl recently, utrogestan vaginally on a long cycle and 3 pumps of testosterone a week. After 18 months it seems my body said - now is the right level of oestrogen for your symptoms any more is too much so I am now on 2.5 but still on the rest of the regime.
I had to go through the agressive thing and when tried to drop to 2 pumps before now I could't my symptoms came back but now it appears my body has levelled out and can maintain the level so 2.5 is ok. How I knew it was too high wasnt through testing cos my doctor doesnt do it but by symptoms. My breast suddenly got sore and I started itching! So I dropped by half a pump until it stopped at 2.5.
So like I said - good and bad news Warwick but plenty of hope! xx
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How on Earth does anyone determine whether it is "hormonal anxiety" :-\. I have never in over 50 years of suffering with anxiety had anyone make a suggestion as to what the causation might be. I know what the triggers are for me.
Personally in your position I would rather try something like this than anti-depressants as these are not indicated for hormonal anxiety due to peri-menopause. Maybe worth thinking about?
Appropriate medication for appropriate symptoms?
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it's about knowing yourself CLKD. I only ever had issues when hormone levels fluctuated:
After having a baby- when hormone levels plummeted
And, before my period when I got into my forties so was peri menopausal- once again hormones were fluctuating
Crucially, the rest of the time I was fine, that's how I knew it was hormonal issues x
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:thankyou:
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Hi
For me I know there is a hormonal link. When I had my daughter 40 years ago I suffered extreme anxiety/depression, panic attacks etc. Suffered in silence because I was 18 years old and no family support, I thought my baby would be taken from me if I told anyone. Things improved after about 2/3 years. Then 10 years later when I married and went off the pill to try for a second baby, same symptoms returned and GP said I was having a breakdown. I knew that wasn't the cause because I was happy in my life with no stress. GP tried SSR antidepressants but they made me really ill. I also went back on the pill and things improved. (gold figure) :-\
Currently I am post menopause at 61 and although some symptoms have improved the anxiety/depression and panic attacks are crippling me. GP thinks I need to come off my HRT but to be honest I wonder if I should increase from 2 pumps to 3 as my mental health is worrying me. Through choice I am becoming more isolated and fatigued.
Any advice please Wx
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Up the pump amount for 3 days and see how you feel? It may be that you need 2 for 3 nights, extra for a couple then back to 2? Trial and Error? Why would you need to come off HRT if it works, in the main ?
There are appropriate medications for anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Have you tried Rescue Remedy?
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CLKD
Many thanks for your reply.
GP is old school and thinks after 5 years on HRT and over 60 you need to come off HRT. That's fine if you have quality of life, if not why suffer,
I will up my gel to 3 pumps from tonight and see what happens.
Wx
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Your GP needs to get a Life ;D. If you are otherwise well and the HRT helps ?!?
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I would up the pumps Warwick 1 pump or even half a pump at a time. If you can manage it, wait 5 days between upping them, it gives time for the body to adjust and for you to work out how your body is really reacting. x
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:thankyou:
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The NICE guidelines have changed, they used to say you should stop at 60 but don't anymore. Might be worth taking it with you if he's difficult.
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Tell him what your options might be? When my GP suggests altering my medication regime I tell him how I would be off a Cliff ........
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CLKD - ;D ;D I know hat you mean.
Sheila99 - I must down load a copy - thank you
Wxx
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How is everyone this morning thus far?
I almost had a strop in Waitrose earlier. Walked in to pick up the daily paper and grabbed an Easter egg instead >:( ..... a) it's FAR TOO EARLY and b) the papers have been moved further down the store. If I remember I will be sending a Firm e-MAIL :poke2:
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I nearly had another strop. Papers not in the usual place, still Easter eggs >:( and NO LOO ROLL ......... don't people know how to improvise? ;D
I was irritable yesterday because we were filling in paper work as we are selling a house miles away. I was really ratty at times.
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hi ladies for anyone who can help
last couple of days i've been in panic mood low and if i let myself would cry
i?m on 2 pumps gel and utro but having side effects where i apply the gel to my arms i?m getting stinging the following day i apply at night
i feel low mood little aniexty stomach cramps upset between constipation and loose stools but i ache all over i don't feel unwell just ache and feel zero energy is this the progesterone utrogestan
i don't know what to do shall i increase gel by pump ?
stop the progesterone as although was taking this to help with mood fluctuations and aniexty which it has to some degree i feel my mood is low constantly i have no womb and to top it with it being 4 weeks on the regime my hair is now shedding more again.
shall i just quit this regime as after a year in the gel on its own and feeling rubbish i thought progesterone would help but can't keep feeling like this i have no motivation gaining weight cause i want to veg on the sofa and not go out x
do i just change gel to patch i have in cuboard which is everol 50x keeping on progesterone or take patch on its own
or do i now need tesosterone x
still getting the odd flush sleeping better but other then that feel crap
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Have a good cry. If Nature didn't want us to cry She wouldn't have given us feelings ;-). You will probably feel a lot better!
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Sammiejane. I can only tell you my experience but it may be off help. When I add progesterone into the mix I feel flat unmotivated lazy weepy aching knees and put on a few pounds. I would live not to have to take it.
I know you are trying to help your hair. But I think from my experience it's fluctuations in hormones causing the hair. I had extreme hair loss a when I first started Estrogel but I think it was because I went from hardly any Estrogen in my body to a surge from the Estrogel plus it turned out I wasn't absorbing the gel properly so was having fluctuations. It was devastating.
Since I was on patches and stayed consistent with them my hair settled after 3 months and grew back. X
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Also 100 hairs a day is not considered hair loss. Apparently losing between 50 to 100 hairs a day is normal. How many hairs a day are you losing? Do you see any new hairs growing back? X
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We don't usually see new hair as the growth is cyclical. A few are shed daily as the new ones push from the follicle - a bit like baby teeth being pushed out by adult ones. Brushing too hard can damage hair follicles which won't mend, using a baby brush or a comb is far better than a brush, less harsh on the scalp and less likely to pull hair.
A gentle shampoo should suffice. Many conditions strip hair of natural oils which isn't good. Shampoo, rinse, brisk *gentle* rub with a towel and air dry.
My mood was tamping yesterday >:(
Sammiejane - maybe ask the hormone question as a new thread so that your query doesn't get lost?
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Hi Sammiejane,
I did not get on with the estrogel and ustro at all. Came off this after 3 months and now do not take any hrt.
I am not sure of your circumstances. Did you say you have no womb? In this case, I am not sure, but should you be taking progesterone?
How old are you and what stage of meno? X
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Jari, sammiejane has posted extensively on the forum about her situation and experiences and why she is taking progesterone despite no womb, so most of the regulars know her situation pretty well. She needs oestrogen due to her young age.... Of course she can answer for herself but just putting you in the picture. Perhaps look at some of her threads and profile?
I think this thread is probably about hormonal mood swings (due to peri-menopause or HRT) if I have understood correctly - not just getting in bad moods for other reasons which we all do from time to time - even about loo rolls! ;D.
Hurdity x
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hi k ballinger
do you take estrogen only patch now or do u take progesterone ?
i think it is to do with the estrogel personally a so stopped it for 9 weeks and shedding stopped after 6 weeks and now been back on it a month it shedding again not massively and not loosing 100 hairs a day but i notice it because my hair i can brush and not loose any and has always been mega thick i am the person who has two hairdressers blow drying and straightening it as to much for one and would say 50 percent gone x so when i brush now am loosing hair and find them in the floor x
i only went back on the gel as no patches available and i didn't want to take the everol incase i got in well with them and then couldn't get them so thought i'd try progesterone in the mix which menopause said was safe and that it would do me more harm as also taking for mood stabilizer and aniexty sleep but i guess part of me went so long hrt free i don't know how i?m supposed to feel on hrt if i?m honest i feel better off it but my age worries me and then i worry of prolapse off hrt although i would continue ovestin cream x
sorry waffling now x
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I am still spitting bricks about an incident that took place yesterday that could have been avoided :bang: but the Company concerned don't give a bat's fart about gazumping >:(
My moods would be even until my period was due. Then I would lash out suddenly! It is known that PMT can cause women to kill, Dr Dalton did a lot of research about it and represented girls in Court to explain hormone upheaval. I would throw things. Stamp my feet [still do when no one is watching], mutter at the TV programmes ..........
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I stood in a supermarket yesterday paying and a child of about 5 was sat in the seat part of a trolley and was kicking the hell out of my legs and what did I do.....nothing as the nan looked formidable and I knew if I said anything and she was rude back as I never know how I am going to react as I could either bite back or burst into tears and embarrass myself. Where the hell has my normal reaction to things gone x
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May I giggle ? I don't zip my gob these days ....... "R U aware that your child is kicking bruises in my direction" - I always have the retort after the event >:( :-\ then mutter at myself for hours after about what I ought to have said!
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Sammiejane I only took it for 7 days a month I couldn't deal with it any longer I'd get hot agitated but depressed and bloated. I'm now trying the coil but think it's going to have to come out as I feel like I have pmt everyday and uncomfortably bloated and flushing. X
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?How bad do your mood swings get?? Omg - thank you dear lord for this thread catching my eye this morning.
I'm currently on only one pump of Oestrogel due to trying to come off fully ( I can not tolerate the horrific migraines due to the progesterone-tried several all horrific ). Anyway, I also have jet lag having just returned from USA 🇺🇸, so last night in bed for three and a half hours I tossed and turned and catastrophised over everything -Work, friendships, the corona virus ( which I convinced myself I had got) lack of sleep, my holiday to bloody Naples in exactly one month (🙄) etc etc. I also had the return of a slight sticky feeling on my chest ( I suffer emotionally far worse than physically with my meno) so am realising I may have to re up my oestrogel. I can't face my job today and it's getting worse. it's really stressful and I don't /can't work out whether it's because of my menopause that I feel like that or cos I hate the fecker with a passion right now. I go backwards and forwards as it pays really well and I only have two years to see it through and those two years pay towards my twins through uni.
See I'm doing it now. I'm off topic, rambling and all over the place.
I'm knackered, miserable and out of control.
So in answer to the original question. Pretty bloody bad 🤬
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........ and breath ;)
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HI,
I am new here and to the whole menopause thing...I think.
I am 49 this year and have recently been thinking maybe I have the starting of perimenopause, as my mood swings have been noted by my husband with him saying " Do you think you could be menopausal, your mood swings these past couple of months have been noticed" So I am guessing its on its way. I cry at nothing ...a lot and simple, silly things send me into such a mood it takes days to snap out of it.
I turned to talking about things on a forum as the other day my husband said to me " is this going to send you into one of your menopausal moods again" ....
So I decided its clear I am not going to get any help or understanding from him and its going to be a long slog on my own. Even typing this is making me well up as I feel very alone and am very conscious of the fact I need to control my moods at home and try to be cheerful so I don't get the "comments" again.
Does anyone have any advice at all?
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Hi Duffygirl, this is just to say :welcomemm:. By all accounts, mood swings are a very common symptom, but there will be plenty of sympathetic folk here. There is a Hints for Husbands thing somewhere on the forum but can't remember where, perhaps try the main menu.
Tell us a bit more about yourself, such as what your periods are doing and whether you are contemplating HRT.
Best wishes,
JP x
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Thank you for the welcome.
I will see if I can find the hints for husbands, but not sure I want to broach the subject with him again.
At the moment my periods are still regular, but have noticed they are coming a couple of days earlier each month at the moment. The mood swings and crying are the main noticeable differences. I think I have had some night sweats but I have always made an excuse....It was a warm night or I closed the window, so no air flow ect, but inside I think I know it was a sweat.
I don't have many ladies of my age around me to talk to about these things so have been reading a lot on line.
I am guessing I am in the initial stages of this journey.
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Yep you're in good company. Maybe you will get support - after all, your husband is on a learning curve too. He may be paving the way by noticing your difference in moods.
Browse round. Make notes. I'll bump the hints for husbands ;-). Some ladies find that keeping a mood/symptom/food diary useful and do read the threads about vaginal atrophy.
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Hi Duffy girl and welcome. My hubby just tends to ignore me too. And it broke my heart last night when my 23 year old son came to me and said how much he loves me and how worried he is about me. We talked and he is so much supportive to me and is reading all about menopause to understand. He even mentioned early menopause because his friends sister is 31 and going through it. God I love him.
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That's such a compliment to you and your husband Baby - a 23 year old with compassion. He'll make someone a good wife eventually ;) .... that's a Norfolk saying by the way.
I kick off easily.
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Hello Duffygirl and welcome to the forum.
I think our children are more sympathetic when they see us suffering.
My husband tries to understand but he has heard my woes so many times I think he is a bit hardened to it all. My adult son and daughter are concerned about me but as they don't live at home they are often spared the unrelenting misery of it all!
You can unburden yourself on the forum at any time. The lovely ladies here will always offer comfort and advice. You are not alone now you have MM in your life!
Wishing you well and keep posting.
K.
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........ and breath ;)
That's exactly what my boss says...🙄
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;D - mine used to mutter "PMT again Girls" ...........