Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Kb21 on December 20, 2018, 04:44:46 PM
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I've realised I'm pretty miserable and unmotivated at the moment. I think it's much to do with the winter. And I'm recovering from flu.
I seem to feel stressed about pretty much anything I have to do. It's really annoying. I worry about every little thing, stress about doing it and then realise after there was no need to stress.
I'm so over cooking at the moment, I used to enjoy it but it just feels like a massive chore.... Which means we're not eating as healthily as usual and then I feel bad...
Sorry just needed a moan.
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You moan. It's *that* time of year >:(. Why do any cooking other than what you would usually eat, we don't. If it's in front of me, I don't touch anything that I wouldn't eat year round, other than mince pies ;)
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Yep. Totally sympathise. I think the dark, wet days don't help at all. If we were transported to a warm climate where it was light until midnight all year I'm sure there wouldn't be so many of us feeling like this. I felt like curling up in my bed all day today with my black thoughts looping round. It is so very hard to shake it off; especially if you have nothing you have to do. I felt better out walking in the rain and the dark that inside trying to make out I felt normal. I wish I had a Loose women style group of friends in a similar position who I could laugh and cry with out it but I don't have anyone. The only place I do any moaning is on this forum. :'(
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Dank lowers my mood.
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I have just been sitting in front of the oven with the door open (at 180'C) trying to simulate being in a hot country.
It didn't really work very well with the background smell of greasy spring rolls. :o
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Greasy spring rolls ;D ;D
I know the dark is really not helping, but, you never anticipate it being this bad even though it happens every year...
What really throws me is any change of routine, this is quite a new symptom...where I've been off sick and not able to do stuff that's made me feel low as well.
Thanks ladies, great as always to know there's people out there who understand.
I don't have a close group of female friends either. It's a real shame, I think that would help.
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I HATE any change of routine :'( - goes back to when I was 3.
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Yep. Totally sympathise. I think the dark, wet days don't help at all. If we were transported to a warm climate where it was light until midnight all year I'm sure there wouldn't be so many of us feeling like this. I felt like curling up in my bed all day today with my black thoughts looping round. It is so very hard to shake it off; especially if you have nothing you have to do. I felt better out walking in the rain and the dark that inside trying to make out I felt normal. I wish I had a Loose women style group of friends in a similar position who I could laugh and cry with out it but I don't have anyone. The only place I do any moaning is on this forum. :'(
I could have written this. Its a lonely place isn't it 😒
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I find it really lonely....just don't feel I can speak about it to anyone..
I'm referring myself to steps to well being this week.
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I do have 2 members of my team who suffer with anxiety attacks so we do talk about it. I think they are relieved that their boss gets it 😉
When I'm in and attack though I fid it really hard to move, let alone talk so even Ina crowded room full of people its lonely. I kinda of freeze inside my own head, if that makes sense.
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kb21, moan away, I'm with you - you're not alone in feeling miserable and unmotivated - I've been like this since my periods stopped c.12 years ago - been on high to low dose HRT over many years, none of it really made me feel that good.
If it was possible, I would live on astronaut dried food and never cook again. Nigella can jog on.
I get this strange thing whenever I'm doing chores and cooking, in fact almost anything - I do things impatiently and too quickly, rushed (slapdash probably) in an irritated manner - as I just want the chores to be over and done with. All part of my meno madness - I used to just do things at a steady, happy pace in times gone by pre-meno when I was slightly more 'normal'.
Not wishing to sound shallow - this is rather trivial but never fails to snap me out of the gloom, even just momentarily - you can't watch it without chuckling ... yes, it's the *fabulous* Simon's Cat ... (I'm more of a dog person but still love it).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn2h3_aH3vo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNfGVE-_rms
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyYYHLygi3s
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I LOVE Simon's cat which has evolved into calendars etc., but it ain't the same as the cartoon ;D
Anything that lifts mood has to be useful 8)
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kb21, moan away, I'm with you - you're not alone in feeling miserable and unmotivated - I've been like this since my periods stopped c.12 years ago - been on high to low dose HRT over many years, none of it really made me feel that good.
If it was possible, I would live on astronaut dried food and never cook again. Nigella can jog on.
I get this strange thing whenever I'm doing chores and cooking, in fact almost anything - I do things impatiently and too quickly, rushed (slapdash probably) in an irritated manner - as I just want the chores to be over and done with. All part of my meno madness - I used to just do things at a steady, happy pace in times gone by pre-meno when I was slightly more 'normal'.
Not wishing to sound shallow - this is rather trivial but never fails to snap me out of the gloom, even just momentarily - you can't watch it without chuckling ... yes, it's the *fabulous* Simon's Cat ... (I'm more of a dog person but still love it).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn2h3_aH3vo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNfGVE-_rms
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyYYHLygi3s
Would I lie to You helps me at times 😂
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Kb21 and Roseneath - I'm with you - cant shake it at all and to be honest I'm bored with myself now and lonely too.
I only tell the truth when I'm on the forum and the rest of the time....that is if I ever leave the house and put myself in a position where I actually have to meet anyone face to facee... I'm faking it and it's exhausting. The others here will tell you that I have been banging on for the last 2 months about how being miserable and unmotivated is getting me down so you have a moan - its good to moan! After years and years of it you would think I'd be used to it by now.
Actually it's so bad I can't actually put my finger on anything which will lift my mood - CKLD..I need to pull myself together...having said that... "Nigella can jog on!!" ha ha - was grinning ;D
I was like you at one time Night_Owl couldn't get things over and done with quick enough and then was frustrated because it ended up "slapdash" as you say oh and I could have killed someone whilst I was doing whatever it was and not raised an eyebrow - I have to say that has passed now. I can actually do things calmly, that's if I get motivated enough to start, so that bit can pass. There is hope.
I'm a huge sunshine freak and this time of year crucifies me. Like the oven thing Roseneath but it's just not the same is it ::)
Wish I was on the cruise with Jaypo.
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Third night of maybe 4 hours sleep. Convinced I've got Parkinsons or something I feel so shaky internally and legs twitching. Icing on the cake was when hubbie told me at 5am to pull myself together, stop wallowing in self pity and ruining Christmas for the kids...no pressure then. I know he is right in some ways though. Just got kids concert, packing, 8 hours drive and night in Premier Inn to survive now. Any tips ladies? I feel scared, wretched and pathetic.
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Third night of maybe 4 hours sleep. Convinced I've got Parkinsons or something I feel so shaky internally and legs twitching. Icing on the cake was when hubbie told me at 5am to pull myself together, stop wallowing in self pity and ruining Christmas for the kids...no pressure then. I know he is right in some ways though. Just got kids concert, packing, 8 hours drive and night in Premier Inn to survive now. Any tips ladies? I feel scared, wretched and pathetic.
Well thats easy to do isn't it hubby 😒
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Roseneath - I'm with you today xx
Are you away all over Christmas?
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That lack of understanding is a real help... >:(
We're going away today to my mums and I've been in a panic since 3 am about getting everything ready to go. No idea why. I just annoy myself these days :'(
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NaturalMystic - you don't have Parkinsons - you are a menopausal women and your husband is NOT RIGHT! I use natural Valarian for calming (Kalms has valarian root in it) and also for sleep Roseneath - you can get it straight off the shelf in Boots, so you could get your hands on some immediately. I have tried other stuff for calming and it makes me feel hungover. Should take the edge off NaturalMystic and Kb21. (by the way Kb your may feel wretched and pathetic but you most certainly are not).
I also use Melatonin for sleeping which you get off the internet and I know of other ladies who comment on here use it too for poor sleep. It is the chemical which your body produces naturally which makes you react to light that makes you sleep so also a natural remedy. Might be worth a go Roseneath there is absolutely no harm in it at all and that also doesn't make you feel hungover. I tend to use it when I am in a real state or have not been sleeping over 2 or 3 days. You can get 1mg tablets right up to 10mg tablets. I buy the 1mg and take as I need - if I'm bad I take 3mg and off I go into dreamland! Just dont drink loads of alcohol with them or you will all sleep through Christmas!
Dont beat yourselves up about taking stuff, or thinking we "should be able to do this"! I know loads of us feel like that - if it makes you feel better (which it will) just do what you have to do - to be honest I viewed it like "hey I can't feel worse and I could feel better". Sleep deprivation just ramps up everything else.
Hope your trips turn out ok :foryou:
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If we could pull ourselves together we wouldn't need them, GPs, Hospitals etc. :'(
I would have given him a Very Hard :kick: - isn't he able to give the kids a 'good' Christmas without relying on anyone else Roseneath? I would be downing tools!
I spent years trying to please others and apart from Boxing Day I now tell everyone that DH is the most important person in my Life. But because DH is so good to me :-* I try to tolerate his family for a few days during the year ;) and at least we don't have to stay over night with any of them ......
..... and breath. Find a raindrop on a leaf or listen to a bird singing: something that you can totally immerse yourself in :hug:
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I brought some Kalms day, which I'm going to try when I'm staying with my mum because I seem to react to everything these days!! I was going to give the gabapentin a go but I'm very wary of the side effects. So I'm going to try the natural route.
Feeling very emotional about Xmas, it's not the same since we lost my dad and my partner and I aren't spending it together this year due to loads of crap. FFS... Considering drinking my way though it ::)
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Let us know if your 'natural' route helps symptoms. Will that be Chocolate by any chance ???
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Hope the Kalms works Kb21 - I always try natural first now. I have had both gabapentin and amitriptyline in the past along with AD's for years. I ditched everything (boy did they have me on a list!) prescription bar Arthrotec (painkiller), blood pressure tablet and my HRT about 4 years ago. I did it cold turkey...absolutely NOT to be recommended ::), that's another story completely and it took about 3 months before everything appeared out of the system. I'm not saying don't take the gabapentin, it can be great if it works for you - like I said I'm a..if it works do it...person but added into all the other stuff it made me a bit of a zombie. On its own it's probably grand!
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The problem with gabapentin is the worst side effect is suicidal ideation, which I don't have and don't want. The withdrawal can also be brutal. I'm keeping that if all else fails.
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It may not affect you. I had that prior to taking ADs ......... really couldn't believe what my brain was doing :o, saying, suggesting :'(. We don't know enough nor appreciate our brains :-*.
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That's true CKLD. Medication on the last 12 months has had some nasty side effects, really puts you off. Let's hope the valerian helps, giving that a bash this evening. Xx
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Ended up taking 1mg diazepam yesterday afternoon because my anxiety was awful.
Then tried the Kalms at bedtime. Woke at 10.30 with crazy head then again at 12 with racing thoughts. Then slept till 5.30. Did not like the racing thoughts, made me feel weird. Don't know whether to try again tonight or not. I hate the feelings medication gives me. My mum thinks it's cause I'm over thinking it. Which is probably true but doesn't really help me out!!
Anyone else had this on valerian? Should I persevere?
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NaturalMystic - you don't have Parkinsons - you are a menopausal women and your husband is NOT RIGHT! I use natural Valarian for calming (Kalms has valarian root in it) and also for sleep Roseneath - you can get it straight off the shelf in Boots, so you could get your hands on some immediately. I have tried other stuff for calming and it makes me feel hungover. Should take the edge off NaturalMystic and Kb21. (by the way Kb your may feel wretched and pathetic but you most certainly are not).
I also use Melatonin for sleeping which you get off the internet and I know of other ladies who comment on here use it too for poor sleep. It is the chemical which your body produces naturally which makes you react to light that makes you sleep so also a natural remedy. Might be worth a go Roseneath there is absolutely no harm in it at all and that also doesn't make you feel hungover. I tend to use it when I am in a real state or have not been sleeping over 2 or 3 days. You can get 1mg tablets right up to 10mg tablets. I buy the 1mg and take as I need - if I'm bad I take 3mg and off I go into dreamland! Just dont drink loads of alcohol with them or you will all sleep through Christmas!
Dont beat yourselves up about taking stuff, or thinking we "should be able to do this"! I know loads of us feel like that - if it makes you feel better (which it will) just do what you have to do - to be honest I viewed it like "hey I can't feel worse and I could feel better". Sleep deprivation just ramps up everything else.
Hope your trips turn out ok :foryou:
Wrong person, good post though xx
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You can't over think. It's the brain doing it's own thing. Valium does what it says on the tin - calms!! and 1mg isn't much, I was on 10 3 times a day then dropped to 5 ;)
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To be honest if the Dr would prescribe diazepam, I'd happily use a small amount a couple of times a day but they won't. I have a small stash I've saved from a while ago for emergencies. They allowed me to have it for post natal depression 2mg x3 daily. I might ask the GP in January, is the only thing which doesn't make me feel more nuts!!!
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My GP was absolutely fine about prescribing it. He checked through my prescription history and could see that I wasn't using it often even on a daily regime. The option didn't bear thinking about :'(
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My Doctors wouldn't prescribe it on a regular basis either - I could get 14 tablets that had to last 3 months 5mg each. I have never had any problems with the Valarian, but if you have racing thoughts and trouble sleeping and your head is a bit all over the place you might need a couple of go's to see if it works, otherwise it could just be a one off. Still worth a go for another 2 nights I reckon Kb21 and then if it still doesn't feel right for you stop.
Glad you got a bit of sleep though. I used to save my diazepam for emergencies too. I haven't had to use it since March 18 which is a good thing and yet I had had had problems for about 15 years before that..... so something good going on here - there is hope people!
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Thanks ladies, the reason I'm trying it now is because I'm staying with my mum for the Xmas break. I can't handle having side effects when it's just me and the kids, it really freaks me out. I'll try again tonight. X
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Best to take it to see if it has any outward effects. Or in the night ?
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The valerian also attaches to the GABA receptors (as does The Diazepam) so having both together is possibly too much.
I tried the valerian a few weeks back and I felt incredibly drugged so it's powerful stuff. Liked the initial relaxation but then my head felt very woozy and I had to stay in bed until it wore off.
I suspect all of these things weaken over time so it may about building up tolerance.
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Thanks dangermouse, I didn't bother with it last night. I just cannot handle side effects at the mo. I'm trying to do loads of exercise to help the sleep and anxiety, seems like the safest option.
The valerian also attaches to the GABA receptors (as does The Diazepam) so having both together is possibly too much.
I tried the valerian a few weeks back and I felt incredibly drugged so it's powerful stuff. Liked the initial relaxation but then my head felt very woozy and I had to stay in bed until it wore off.
I suspect all of these things weaken over time so it may about building up tolerance.
I
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I tool valarian and also something called Menopace for about 3 months but then had some elevated liver enzyme results which the GP thought was due to the effect of one of these. A month off and three years later had no more raised results. Made me very wary. Will never buy off the internet / Amazon too. I think we are all looking for that magic bullet to get us back to the ' normal' we once were.