Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: EnglishRose on November 29, 2018, 06:16:40 PM
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I'm going to see my doctor and discuss going on a new AD
The One I'm taking is old and I'm on a low dose,
I tick all the boxes for depression and somethings off. I was fine on the morning of 1 Oct by the evening and discovering symptoms which lead onto acute anxiety for weeks (the worst and longest) I think I'm now clinically depressed.
No interest in things I used to have
No motivation
Feel hopeless
Anxiety
Crying
Physical symptoms
Restless legs
Lower back ache
I sit in bed tv on but I'm not watching it..hours and hours reading online looking for hope but not finding any, I feel like my life is dead
I know my oestrogen is low in may <18 and FSH 70 meaning I'm close to meno but I'm struggling to see how one day your fine then the next your sick mentally or physically from hormones.
Yes I've had better days even walked the dogs a few days and laughed at tv with partner had sex etc.. but the way I feel today and yesterday doesn't feel hormonal I feel dead inside
I've been on dosulpine 50mg for a decade.
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No one here can diagnose. You need to see your GP.
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No one here can diagnose. You need to see your GP.
Cheers
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there's lots of very old threads on the subject with many women discussing their opinions and experiences including CLKD.
I Was hoping to initiate another, that's all.
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Most of those threads are after discussion with GPs, therefore sharing experiences.
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Most of those threads are after discussion with GPs, therefore sharing experiences.
No offence but this is not your forum and you don't get to dictate who or what people can chat about.
You know enough about my current situation to show a little kindness.
I feel (because of your comments) that I'm not welcome here anymore and this is my only outlet.
Telling someone to “go see your gp†when they're bed ridden anxious depressed is actually very irresponsible. .
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Gone
Thanks
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Hello Roseenglish.
I'm sorry that you are suffering and you have every right to expect compassion and understanding from the ladies of this forum so please reconsider your decision. You are welcome here.
Your situation resonates with many of us and I'm sure that help and support will soon come your way. There is no need to go through this alone.
I hope you decide to continue posting, I only wish that I could do more for you in your time of need.
Take care and sending hugs.
K.
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Hello Roseenglish,
I agree with Kathleen. Please reconsider and come back. Many ladies have been where you are now, they will give you the support you deserve.
Conolly X
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roseenglish...also happy to talk ! Sorry you encountered such a terribly abrupt, casual and thoughtless response on here,and you even said you were going to the doctor and didn't even ask for a diagnosis from us...I can see that. I'm dreadfully sorry you are as low as you say you are, life must be miserable, but there are many of us here who understand (I'm also on ADs!) You can talk about whatever you like here, and that includes your mental health.
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We are not here to offer diagnosis. The Forum is about sharing experiences and offering advice, which is why - having followed her various threads in recent days, I suggested that initially she should speak to her GP.
I suggest that you read her recent threads and note that there is a common theme.
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She wasn't asking for a diagnosis, she simply was describing her depression and saying what it 'feels like'. She IS seeing the GP. It was her feelings and her own opinion.
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Here is one of her last posts. I see a 'pattern' yes, of someone who is incredibly low and desperate.
Bad day.
Just want to vent
Can physical and mental symptoms of menopause or oestrogen deficiency occur all at once? Like when Oestrogen hits rock bottom and all hell breaks loose
Been getting better over these three weeks. Now I'm in a mess. All was well till 5pm.
I've had no sex drive or sexual urges below since I started HRT 3 weeks ago and my confidence has been growing with every day. Bc the whole sex drive sex urge the literal *need* for sex was terrifying.
I felt I was due to start my period when I started Oestrogel. Instead of waiting I started oestrogel.
It's been 3 weeks ish since I started Oestrogen still applying 300mg cyclogest (Progesterone) daily as I reduced to come off it.
My boobs have grown bigger each day I'm now getting spots appetite increased last couple of days and the dreaded sex drive is back,(I used to get a little horny before my period but not like this!)
I begged for sex then cried after for feeling so ashamed for being like that. He said “later†and I demanded it! That's not me...I hate feeling like a hostage to my vagina..I don't know who I am anymore.,he must be wondering the same thing.
I feel like I'm due to start period after missing it when I first started.
I'm terrified the physical urges will return again..and if they do does that mean oestrogen is causing it (?)
My back (sciatica) and restless legs have kicked in BIG TIME as I lie in bed..crying....I can't lie flat on my back due to sciatica and my legs are hurting and restless. It's strange in the sense both start out of no where then go away... is it possible that's bc of hormone fluctuations?
I've read a link that oestrogen softens ligaments causing back pain.. like in pregnancy. Can't win! Both of the above ststted when I had my melt down 7 weeks ago..that drove me to HRT
I tried to increase my Oestrogel again after failing a week ago
From 2 pumps to 2 and a 1/2 (3 pumps made me feel jittery)
The back and leg pain started after I applied 1/2 pump tonight. Plus I feel tight chested and jittery like I did when I upped to 3 pumps.
I rubbed it on the inside of my arm....not sure why as I normally apply to the inside of thighs.
Wonder if applying it to my vein has made me absorb it too fast.
I feel wide awake despite it being 12. Insomnia is likely. Had to turn off heating I was hot, palpitations. All things that happen before my period.
Hurting physically and pain killers don't work
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Hi.
I've been in peri for 10 years and it was bad when it first appeared but settled into familiar symptoms.
I'm now almost 50 and having a bad time 7 weeks in pjs after a major melt down about health anxiety. I still believe if the physical symptoms went I'd be fine no need for HRT.
I've read that peri gets worse the year before the menopause occurs.. is that true?
And here is another one!
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Hi
I started Oestrogel on the 7th Nov.
1 pump for a few days then 2 pumps then about 4 days ago went to 3 pumps.
The last 3 days I've noticed my sleep is lighter, I'm always jigging my leg (bouncing leg or tapping foot when sat down) my boobs have been huge and sore since I started it, last night I snapped at my hubby and apologied, ( I'm not an angry person ) then bad sleep last night and woke up starving hungry and I feel jittery, physically. Tight chest, feeling like I need to take deep breaths ... full of nervous energy AND just had hot flash... I'm short tempered, snappy, not happy.
I thought I was okay as no symptoms so thought I was going to get along with Oestrogel even at 2 pumps.. but seems 3 is too much for me.
Plus I've been using Vagifem loading dose and more recently the cream version for the last 3 nights ( I know I'm meant to onky use twice a week after loading dose) I'll not use anymore for 3 nights.
Thing is, I don't know if this is my own oestrogen leading to a period and pushing the HRT into causing symptoms.
I hsve not started the progesterone yet as I'm using Cyclogest on a reducing dose every day.
Either way I'm going back to 2 pumps, just hope 2 pumps are enough and I hope this nervous physical jitters passes soon. I've already applied two pumps today ..
It says 2 pumps is the standard dose but the bottle said 2 to 3 so thought I'd try 3. I felt like this at the begging of using when I increased to 2 pumps but was on the same day I'd increased and it passed after 5 hours. I tried to increase to 2 pumps a week later and was fine, so perhaps I'll try again in a week, (?)
Anyone got any experience or advise.?
Much appreciated
And another !
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I'm sorry I'm double posting bits of info because no one replied to my other posts yet and I'm concerned (sorry)
I'll bullet point
I feel I'm due to start period have PMs symptoms. Been crying anxious and depressed today and day before last. Increased appetite, spots, huge sore boobs sleep disturbances (my pms flavours)
My weird hypersensitive shivery spine buttocks and legs are terrible today it's like when my mood is low these new symptoms are worse which I guess means these new symptoms are linked to hormonal fluctuations
I feel so bad physically and mentally today.
Not had period since started Oestrogel 7 Nov. Last period 11 Oct. I'm long overdue,
Started with Vagifem 4 weeks ago
Decide to alternate with Estriol to reach the outside too a week ago.
Estriol makes me ache initially but today stinging and making me wanting to pee (never had that before)
Been examined yesterday by gynaecologist whose told me I have sensitive area to front wall of vagina where bladder is. Says I tick all the boxes for IC
Never had UTI or cystitis before.
Questions
Is it possible estriol is irritating me? I don't recall Vagifem giving me this much problem. Certainly no increased peeing. Just drank tall Glass water had to pee 4 times in an hour,, but I've had increased peeing before period before but not with the stinging I'm getting internally when I go.
Is it possible HRT is irritating my VA in the sense that the discomfort is part of the heaing?
I'm so worried oestrogel is making my physical symptoms worse. I'd feel so much better if I started my period but no clue if that's actually going to happen since starting Oestrogel
I'm up and down from 2 pumps to 3 then back to 2 then back up to 2 and half pumps..I know that's not good it's just the symptoms are all over the place this week I'm trying to find stability.
I'm worried it's all making my symptoms worse not better and I'm so sick alresdy with the physical symptoms.
Sorry in advance
...and one more ! NO idea what 'pattern' you mean here, but it sounds like someone totally miserable and confused to me.
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Hello CLKD,
She begins her post saying ‘I'm going to see my doctor and discuss a new AD'. That sounds very reasonable to me.
How many times ladies have posted asking for information and support BEFORE going to see their doctors so they can be fully prepared to have a useful appointment?
How many GP's are well informed about menopausal depression?
Emotions run high at this stage of our lives, a bit of sensitivity and compassion is welcomed.
Conolly X
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Thanks girls for the updates. However, I feel that this member needs professional support as per her continual opening of new threads.
hours and hours reading online looking for hope - which is why I made the suggestion to discuss with her GP. Although she suggests that she will be going to her GP, thus far she hasn't told us if she did so with any of her other issues.
Do you know what she hoped to achieve by opening new threads: I and others have offered advice in response to her various health worries, also pointing out the possible laxity of muscles as oestrogen levels drop off, how the body may become dry ......... but she hasn't appeared to take on board anything that is suggested, simply opening more and more threads :-\
I haven't found any of her threads in the last 2/3 weeks that didn't get a response :-\
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Yes, she does talk about seeing other medics....like here for example....on 27th (2 days ago)
SORRY ITS LONG... 😔
I went to see an nhs gynaecologist urologist today (more of this later) following a referral from my doctor when I started having unusual sexual sensations vaginally on the 1 Oct, they lasted about 3 weeks.. then it turned to pain in and arid the vagina, nothing major.
I managed to find an experienced women's Physio Therapist who was familiar with trigger points (testing) for the pundendal nerve. After her examination she said my pelvis had good tone and bulk and no pudendal compression could be found as I did not feel pain or tingling etc when she pushed down on the nerve.
She wrote to my gynaecologist suggesting we had an mri scan to rule out tarlov cycsts to the base of my spine which may be putting pressure on the pudendal nerve. Hence my appt today.
Its a very long post, so won't repeat it all here. She has also made some excellent replies to other forum users, on their threads.
Why so judgemental CLKD ? WHy not just let someone talk, have an outlet and post threads if they want to. Thats their choice, there aren't forum rules being trangressed I'm sure. I'm saying nothing more on this as I'm new here, but found it so sad to see someone pushed away at their time of need. There is even a thread on here where you talk with her, and she shares, about anxiety and panic and people being judgmental!
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Tnx.
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CLKD,
As you may well know, this is all very normal when one is dealing with mental health issues. No one is here to judge, sometimes all that's needed is to get feelings off one's chest and that's what friends and forums are for.
You have just sent her to a darker place and that's not really helpful.
Only my 2pence, no personal issues.
Conolly X
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Ditto what Kathleen says Roseenglish, I empathise and hope you can find something to help you. You should certainly keep reaching out here and I'm sure you'll get lots of support, and also does your partner know what's going on? Hopefully you can lean on them tooxxxx
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I would like to suggest that this thread stops bashing CLKD. She didn't say anything particularly judgemental and she has been discussing this situation with RoseEnglish for weeks, trying to help. She doesn't deserve everyone jumping on her!
RoseEnglish has both menopausal and probably mental health issues that are feeding off one another. Lots of suggestions have been given over time, there isn't anything else we can do. She goes up and down, as we all do with this hormone roller coaster, but her ups and downs are more severe. It's a horrible place to be. Yet she spends hours making herself feel worse in bed on the internet on her own despite being told that's the worst thing. She has admitted that she feels much better out of the house, with her dogs or around other people. But then sinks back down into bed again. That needs a GP's help and probably a different AD.
Her reaction to CLKD in this post wasn't very good and then you all piled in on top. CLKD is a regular and well liked contributor here, we shouldn't be making her feel bad.
This all got blown up out of proportion right from RoseEnglish's response. Time to stop it now. We can all get on with each other if we refrain from forming sides.
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Hello SueLW,
I would like to suggest that this thread stops bashing CLKD. She didn't say anything particularly judgemental and she has been discussing this situation with RoseEnglish for weeks, trying to help. She doesn't deserve everyone jumping on her!
There's no bashing or jumping on CLKD... now you are overreacting.
RoseEnglish has both menopausal and probably mental health issues that are feeding off one another. Lots of suggestions have been given over time, there isn't anything else we can do. She goes up and down, as we all do with this hormone roller coaster, but her ups and downs are more severe. It's a horrible place to be. Yet she spends hours making herself feel worse in bed on the internet on her own despite being told that's the worst thing. She has admitted that she feels much better out of the house, with her dogs or around other people. But then sinks back down into bed again. That needs a GP's help and probably a different AD.
There isn't anything else we can do? Speak for yourself. I think everyday a new member is allowed on this forum, so who knows who can do what...
Regarding the need of GP's help and probably a new AD, that's exactly how the OP starts her post.
Her reaction to CLKD in this post wasn't very good and then you all piled in on top. CLKD is a regular and well liked contributor here, we shouldn't be making her feel bad.
The same is true regarding CLKD's reaction to Roseenglish's post. The fact that CLKD is a regular contributor is beside the point being discussed. She has also made Roseenglish feel bad, that's what's being discussed.
This all got blown up out of proportion right from RoseEnglish's response. Time to stop it now. We can all get on with each other if we refrain from forming sides.
Now it's Roseenglish's fault? I'm not forming sides, just trying to understand why someone who is constantly saying that GP's need a :beat: :bang: has just sent a fellow depression sufferer to seek GP help and also said we are not here to offer diagnosis when the OP has never asked for that.
'Time to stop it now' sounds very authoritative to me. Same as 'No one here can diagnose. You need to see your GP'
Conolly X
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Well said Conolly.
Hi Sue, I've certainly taken a side on this and I think many other responders have too - the reason people are all responding as they do on this thread is because the response by CLKD was clearly insensitive and dismissive. Maybe, and I accept this, CLKD didn't intend for it to be that way and had her own logical reasons - but that is how it came across, and had the effect it had. It was a short harsh response, and insensitive to a woman who is struggling day by day to get through and paid no reference to the actual things she said:
The OP SAID SHE WAS GOING TO HER GP, she WAS NOT ASKING FOR A DIAGNOSIS she was discussing her feelings and thoughts - thats all. She had a right to do that. So saying 'go to your gp we can't diagnose' was not relevant, it shut her down and devalued her thoughts being shared. There are WAYS of saying things and this was not the way. I have felt exactly the same way myself which is why it resonates with me so strongly; I left the forum a few weeks ago based on similar 'harsh' responses where I felt dismissed and unwelcome (same poster) at what felt my lowest point, but returned. I wanted to reply in the same way as RoseEnglish did, so I am not surprised she reacted as she did. I think if CLKD has just apologised, rather than justify, then this would have moved on. I know CLDK tries to help everyone and offers much support (and I honestly do intend no hard feelings), but mental health issues are abundant here sadly and sometimes strongly worded short responses without verbal 'softeners' can really affect the reader.
I think I will take a break here myself to be honest, from posting. Best wishes to all. x
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Please come back Roseenglish. You have been a great support to me and hopefully you can get more support from others and myself on here. I'm sure many of us have been in your position, I've done the same myself spending hours researching etc and know what it feels like to be in that hole. It helps so much to be able to get other perspectives and experiences so don't go.
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Roseenglish if you are reading please just let us know how you are doing,even if you feel you dont want to rejoin tbe forum. I would just like some reasurance that you are ok as I know how it feels to be in such a fragile state of mind.
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I have reported this thread to Emma the moderator and hope things can be resolved without further disagreement.
People have been hurt in the past on this forum when threads get out of hand.
Gangan X
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Who would I apologist too, this Member is a guest. Tnx for the support I have had on here and via PMs. Members leave. Personal choices.
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This member is a guest as of yesterday CKLD don't pour more petrol on the fire and be glib.
I hope Emma can resolve this.
Gangan
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i hope Roseenglish will be okay.
I think there's a lesson to be learned here, actually 2 lesssons :
1) if you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing
2) you don't have to reply to every single thread that's opened by members, sometimes I read the most ridiculous replies purely (I assume) to be part of each discussion, even when you've got no clue what you're talking about
Oh god I could go on ..... x
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Hello again ladies.
It's such a shame that this has happened but feelings often run high at this time in our lives as we all know.
I wonder if CLKD invests more time in the forum than is good for her? She does seem to comment on everything all the time and maybe the need to do this puts her under pressure somehow? Members often take a break from the site for various reasons so if you're reading this CLKD maybe devote yourself to another activity for a while and refresh your batteries.
Take care.
K.
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I think there's a lesson to be learned here, actually 2 lesssons :
1) if you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing
2) you don't have to reply to every single thread that's opened by members, sometimes I read the most ridiculous replies purely (I assume) to be part of each discussion, even when you've got no clue what you're talking about
Oh god I could go on ..... x
This is exactly how I feel Annie.
I wonder if CLKD invests more time in the forum than is good for her? She does seem to comment on everything all the time and maybe the need to do this puts her under pressure somehow? Members often take a break from the site for various reasons so if you're reading this CLKD maybe devote yourself to another activity for a while and refresh your batteries.
K.
Again another comment I totally agree on.
It's such a shame that this sort of things happen & I sometimes wonder if there are messages/comments being exchanged via personal messaging etc that we don't see on the open forum, & possibly this fuels the upset & unrest. :-\ :-\
I wish Roseenglish all the very best & hope she finds the help & support she needs - it's just a bloody shame she had to leave under these circumstances :(.
However I sincerely hope that this hasn't put new members off joining. Personally I wouldn't have just about come out the other side without the help of this fantastic website & forum.I think I'm finally there & feel a much wiser woman & ready for the next stage of my life.
Having no female relatives that would talk about the menopause & no friends that were experiencing the sort of meno problems I was having it was a bloody relief to have stumbled upon this forum back in 2002.
sorry I meant 2007'ish.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
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Hello EnglishRose,
I see your name is in blue again, welcome back!
Conolly X