Menopause Discussion > Personal Experiences

DESPERATE - HRT estrodial patches - depression and anxiety

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Dramy3:
Mornings are worse for most people. It’s when cortisol is at its highest because your body is trying to wake you up and get you going. But it goes haywire when your body is out of balance (hormones, stress, other meds, illness, etc). Although it’s not widely studied (thank you patriarchy) the research says that when oestrogen is low, cortisol is higher, hence the rationale for HRT and anxiety (or one of the rationales at least).

Unfortunately one of the best and fastest ways to lower cortisol is exercise. Essentially giving in to the body’s fight or flight response. But that is SO hard when you’re paralysed with anxiety and depression. If you look up somatic release exercises on YouTube there are a few things that are short and easy to manage even when you’re struggling.

My psychiatrist switched me from escitalopram (been on for 20 years) to a high dose of sertraline. I’m not loving the side effects but it has helped tremendously with the anxiety and depression. A lot of women on here also swear by mirtazapine and venlafaxine. Just food for thought.

I’m so sorry you’re in this place. I know it well, but I’m improving and so will you.

Hang in there.

GalwayGirl:
Hi Katie,

So sorry to hear this - i can relate so much and am still on my journey. I am 53 and it all hit me very hard in June this year- like you I had a number of difficult life events plus peri which i ignored and thought i could get through without HRT. all came to head where i literally collapsed physically and mentally. Could not walk, could hardly sit in a chair entire body locked up and had the most horrific anxiety and panic attacks ever. Always suffered with anxiety but this was totally unmanageable and off the scale. Could not work and have just returned today on reduced hours and at home only - i was a very driven Director in the NHS and have been reduced to only parts of my job wfh at present. Started HRT in June and I think i am only just now seeing some benefits but i am in no way out of the woods and I have a problem with progesterone.  I started citalopram in August and it has been AWFUL for me - should have come off it ages ago but i kept hoping it would change and it didn’t. So came off it recently but too quickly and am now suffering withdrawal very badly. I just hate ADs personally they seem to affect me really badly- tried Mirtazaoine for two nights and it gave me awful restless legs and made the Citalopram hangover insomnia worse. I really struggle as i know deep down I probably need them but i just can’t cope with them. I am going to try CBD oil to see if that might help. But what I have learnt and hopefully can answer your questions :
1. The right HRT dose will be unique to you so it doesn’t really matter what worked for others its so individual but they do say higher for good mental health- but it takes TIME - its all so slow I have great difficulty accepting this and think i will never get well and this is only happening to me- i dont know anyone personally who has suffered like this. But it is all really very slow and we are fighting our own hormones whilst trying to add ones in.
2.i was not absorbing gel and found patch to offer some more stability. I was crazy and hysterical on the gel- so suicidal visiting the train station.
3. Any change to my HRT sends me bonkers if its too quick - a slight increase can make me hysterical for days. So now I leave things for much longer periods before changing even if i dont feel good.
4. I have struggled with progesterone it also makes quite suicidal so i am pausing it whilst i get more estrogen into me (this is planned and I’ve had a scan all is ok to do this).
5. Like you i am absolutely desperate and it has been the worst 6 months of my life and i dont have any easy answers as i am still searching myself but all i can do is look at the small gains- even though i feel mad still and like you wake with awful anxiety and depression - if i have even slept- i am just telling myself that somehow i will get through. Evenings are always much better- the serotonin picks up by then. And somehow- i do not know how but i returned to work today albliet a shell of my former self and role and i can’t do a full day or go to the office yet but this would have been impossible 3 months ago.
6. I would recommend Clair Crockett at the Newson clinic she very much gets it  and has suffered herself. I have seen her and their psychatriist Louisa James.
7. If you see another psychiatrist i would always try and see a perinatal psychiatrist who does private practice as they understand the relationship with hormones and MH (in NHS they will be seeing mothers but some do private practice) or go to Newson.
8.  I am going to try CBD oil from curaleafclinic.com - maybe worth a shot.
9. You need someone who can almost coach you through the whole thing- who do you trust and what resources can you draw up to rally around you and keep the support and hope going?
I hope that helps - my heart breaks for you and all the women suffering like this. Try and hang in there and have hope that we will one day have our lives back xx

Minicat:
For me, the difference didn’t really come until I was on a higher estradiol patch dose and even then it took a good few months to notice any changes. Progesterone really messed with my mood if I took it daily, so switching to a cyclical schedule helped a little, though the waiting and trial-and-error was honestly exhausting. Mornings were definitely the hardest and still are sometimes, but I try to remind myself it’s the hormones doing their thing, not some failing on my part. I found relief in gambling online on https://solana-volume.com/meteora. This hobby was relaxing me.

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