Menopause Discussion > Personal Experiences
Emitophobia
CLKD:
Yep - upsetting people is one of the reasons I look for a recepticle, easier to clean up 'if' ....... and I still avoid going to eat with friends unless we meet at a Pub where they haven't had the responsibility of cooking .......
When I have turned up for an evening at a friend's house and told them I'm not hungry I get "Oh you didn't eat before you came?", or "You must try this I made it specially" or "You must have a little you will fade away" .......... >:(: I saw my Dad repeating this trick with his Grandson then aged 3, who didn't like to be thrust into a room with people he didn't know - it was 'just a little bit for me' or 'try this you like potatoe' ....... my sister was so busy guttsying food down that she didn't have to pay for that she never noticed but it made my skin crawl ......... 1 because she didn't notice and 2 'cos Dad although being 'kind' was repeating old habits ........ the grandchildren didn't know us from Adam and it reminded me of when we met family at Grandma's for C.mas none of whom I saw from one year to the next but they threw me up in the air or pulled me onto their laps - no wonder I was ill every C.mas :-\
I was born weighing 3lbs 4 oz. Straingt into an incubator. Failed to thrive child. So they stuck a tube up my nose into my stomach to withdraw the contents 3 hours after each meal ........... to see how much my gut was absorbing. Intubation must have been traumatic hence the phobia. But knowing what might have caused my panic attacks and dealing with such early memories has been impossible to sort. Because the fight or flight response kicks in ..........
The container in the car is a 'tuppaware' type long cereal box with lid and smaller lid, ideal for putting rubbish into whilst travelling or for whipping off the lid 'if' ....... in Hubby's car I have a bucket in a bag which folds down small enough to carry in a shopping bag .......
orrla:
Hello CLKD
Sorry you must go through all this..
What I read above brought to my mind the book I have read when dealing with my fear attacks (encouraged by progesterone) some time ago. Lots of very useful stuff in it. Perhaps it will help you too?
Amazon link: click here
Big hug from me!
CLKD:
Thanks for the idea. Thanks for the hug!
CLKD:
I am SO ill. I had dental surgery on Tuesday which left me in a lot of pain by Wed. afternoon, saw the dentist again yesterday morning who advised strong pain relief and an anti-biotic. Which hit my stomach, caused massive heart-burn and came back up again after 2 hours. FEAR. I know I ought to eat and Hubby has stayed home because I'm not safe to be alone. Bless him. That adds to the guilt as he watches me trying to eat the toast with honey he's made. I keep reminding myself what I would tell others but can't get into gear. FEAR++ that if I eat I will feel worse. No logic in that Ilived like this for over 20 years and once the beta-blocka kicked in, felt a whole lot better.
I shake. I need to cry but can't. I need to eat but can't. I want to crawl into a hole and sleep until the symptoms go away but of coufrse, my system is empty so those feelings won't go unitl I've eaten :'( I looked for the rescue remdey bottle but can't find it >:( .......... I've got to eat, I've got to eat, I've got to ........
Bette:
Oh CLKD, so sorry to hear this. :hug:
I'm so glad that hubbie has stayed at home to look after you. I remember struggling to eat a couple of years ago (also with OH watching me and looking dreadfully worried) but that was lack of appetite and I'm lucky in that being sick doesn't worry me.
Hope you feel better as the day goes on.
Bette x
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