Menopause Discussion > All things menopause
Advice for husbands
rebecca:
Have to agree with you here VIV.
Hubby knows that Iam going through the menopause but does not want any info or discussion.
When I get emotional (and have alot recently) for instance: I was telling him about my brothers marital breakdown and got quite weepy - he just rolled his eyes and walked off ::) ::) No consoling me at all !!
I guess he's one of those men who doesn't do emotions very well.
Rebecca :)
Bckquine:
Have to say I must be one of the lucky ones, my partner read it straight away and when I asked him if I was showing any of the symptoms, he was like 'erm, yeh, just about all of them, lol'. I have to say, he is being very good and patient thank goodness, not sure if I would be the same if the tables were turned ;)!
katrin:
thanks ladies-the old cliche men are from mars and women from venus ! i have had alot of emotional issues today with my daughter and men just seem to see everything in black and white and not comprehend our emotions at all-they just dont get us sometimes because they are so very different-I think he thinks I am from another planet sometimes.their brains dont function the same as us - we are multi layered and multi faceted -and that is our strength.So even with all this menopausal milarkey I am glad I am of the female species!
HR:
Hi all,
im am not a husband, but a daughter. my mum is clearly menopausa;.... and she is changing. my mum was loving,caring strong minded and an amazing mum.
she has recently retiered at the age of 48 and has alot of money to enjoy her self. she joned a gym as she was unhappy with her size 14 body.... 12 months on and she is size 0 she goes to the gym for 6 hours every day...mainly to socialise. she no longer wants to spend time with myself or my brother or my fater
and has decided she no longer loves my father... i suggested this was due to a stressfull business life, a number of deaths and finaly menopause. i think
my mum is trying to escape. she says she has found someone else but the way she describes him he sounds exacly like my dad and my dad is the best dad a daughter, son and wife could ever dream of. i feel hurt and angry and confus. i want to cause so much harm to this other man and i keep shouting at my mum. i love her so much but im so hurt for my dad. my mum wants my advice but obviously im biast.
will hormonal drugs work?
should i leave her to be with this other man?
or is it escapsm ??
please help a loving daughter if u can
Thank You
HR
Taz2:
Dear HR - it is obviously a really tough time for you but your mum has given lots of herself over the years and, at this moment in time, she needs to find out who she really is. This doesn't mean that she has stopped loving you but, unfortunately, people do fall out of love with their partners sometimes. She will be feeling as confused as you are but you need to give her space and time to discover what she wants to do.
I have been in your mum's position and for many years I pushed my own thoughts and needs away. Finally, everything is now out in the open and my sons know what I have been going through and are really pleased for me but sad that for years I just did what was expected of me. They are grateful that I stayed within my marriage so that they had a really good upbringing and didn't have to choose between me and their dad but realise that it is now time for me to "fledge". I will always be there for them and there dad is a good dad and husband but, sadly, it is not what I now need from life. Even now it is very difficult for me to leave the family home to be with the person I love. You can't force your mum to love your dad again no matter what you do or say.
How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Sadly, unless your mum is depressed, I don't think that hormonal pills are the answer. Women often take HRT to make themselves feel better but it is obvious from your post that your mum has discovered a different side to herself. If you can, please give her your love and support. She will be in turmoil and split between following her heart and wanting to still be the mum you have always known.
If you want to post again you might like to start a topic under Private Lives as this is only accessible to members whereas this thread is able to be read by anyone on the internet.
Taz x
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