Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[HellsBells]

I have recently started psychotherapy for unresolved issues causing me deep unhappiness in my life. I have found a SUPERB therapist and as expected my issues stem from a rather harsh parenting style and young narcissistic parents. Add to that I have found myself in an extended family situation (husband's) with the same type of cruel bullies.

I wanted to ask - does anyone else suffer from what are known as 'therapy hangovers'? I am wiped out after a session, physically and mentally. It feels like I have run 5 miles and cried for half an hour. The equivalent of. I have an awful lot to unravel and decades of extreme stress.

I am contemplating stopping as it is overwhelming. I may resort to retail and food therapy - haha.

[CLKD]

Of course people feel drained.  Revelation uses a lot of bravery and brain power.  How often are your sessions planned for and have you been given homework? I was 

It helped me to vent, to a complete stranger with no background knowledge of my circumstances.  Someone who would listen and who couldn't say "That couldn't have happened.  Your parents were X, Y, Z". 

MayB journalling would help?  Writing it down, out of your head. If my notes had been read I would have been committed at the very least  but oh Boy it really helped clear my head. This mayB early days 4 U.

U can be in control of these sessions.  I used to have an hour-ish. 

I grew up with a narcissistic mother - long story short - but didn't realise until after Dad died in 2006 and she began her tricks on the next man who moved in!

[dangermouse]

Feeling overwhelmed is a sign that you are getting to the core of your issues so do see this as a massive positive and try to push through. Share with your therapist how you are feeling so that sessions can be adapted to slow down the process for you.

You are doing well!

[Kamelia]

Therapy is difficult and it gets hard before it gets better, especially when there is trauma. You are probably touching on “hot” topics, and it is painful, requires a lot of energy, we feel vulnerable after a good session. Speak with your therapist about how you feel after sessions, overall this is really good sign that you are on right track of healing. Good luck!

[getting_old]

This is something that worries me about therapy. I've considered it a few times but know that it would bring a lot of stuff to the surface, and as I can't do the one thing that would make me feel better (tell my mother how I really felt about her) I'm not sure it's worth it.

[CLKD]

U could write her a letter getting_old ........ vent, vent, vent - then burn it.  Slowly ;-)

[getting_old]

U could write her a letter getting_old ........ vent, vent, vent - then burn it.  Slowly ;-)

That's a good idea. I hadn't thought of doing that, although it may stretch to several volumes.

[ElkWarning]

I've been in weekly face to face therapy for 6 years now. The first phase was my therapist getting to know me so that she could help me manage the stuff that came up. Alongside this, she managed how unresolved memory could sort of put me in flashback territory, which makes everything seem immediate and is super exhausting. She'd check in with me about this. I have a diagnosis of CPTSD from the NHS and she agreed with this which meant there was never any prospect of a short term therapeutic intervention.

Maybe talk to your therapist about how you feel about therapy itself.

[CLKD]

I have flashbacks.  A sudden OH! as I drop off to sleep which makes me moan. 

[HellsBells]

I'm a couple of months in now and I'm grateful for these replies - it was exactly as you all described. I am coping better and pacing myself a bit more. Although 'stuffing down' emotions, thoughts and feelings was a problem all along, so I have to avoid doing that again just to get through the process!!

I am stunned at just how badly I was treated by some people and re-visiting is really hard. My husband's family are narcissistic bullies and I thought it was me! I have allowed such bad treatment from many people for a long time (including my own family) I am trying to deal with retrospective rage. That's tricky.

But thanks everyone - it's a great process and my therapist is INCREDIBLE. I'm so glad I did this.

[CLKD]

Narcaicissm wasn't in the medical journals until the 1980s even though people were showing signs.   I think that 1 has to live with a narcissist in order to see the person 'at work'.  I could write a book!

Glad that U have ploughed on through - has the therapist suggested writing to 'them' in a way of venting? 

I usually cope at the time then react maybe as much as 6 months later, triggered by something totally unrelated  .  Do U get homework?  I did 

[Wania]

I would recommend you reading Anna Ferguson's The vagus nerve reset. It mentions therapy and how trauma damages/influences your nervous system. The view that she has on therapy is that while it is good to identify where some of your issues stem from, talking about these only re-traumatises a person. They tend to relive situations and cause further damage - not solving much in the long term (some people will experience temporary relief especially if talking allowed them to get to the root of the problem). There are things you can do to reset vagus nerve  (nerve responsible for fight or flight response/panic attacks etc) and move forward rather than relive issues from the past.

For me it was eye opening approach, in fact for months of therapy i felt rather overwhelmed than anything else. And while some things when said can have a bit of cathartic experience with them, I think that it is more used as a point of validation of right to your own feelings/sensitivity etc than actual help (I also had therapist who before leaving his job recommended me a book, of which, first paragraph said that therapies don't work).

[CLKD]

Whereas for many therapy does work.  I was employed by a psychologist who was also a sexual health psychologist so wrote many Reports. I personally had years of intermittent talk therapy which cleared my mind. 

I wonder which book Wania?  Title, publisher please.  Was his work Peer reviewed?  If therapy didn't work psychologists would be out of a job long ago!

[Wania]

CKLD I don't think I remember the book, bought it, read a bit of it and put it away. I will come back if I will manage to find it at home. And have no idea if it was peer reviewed because I didn't do study on this book. It was something that my therapist recommended 1/2 hour before he gave his resignation at work.

There are fortune tellers in the world who are not out of job. So this doesn't prove anything. If I can recommend anything I would recommend the book I mentioned. Fairly new approach but definitely worth taking in.

[CLKD]

I wonder what kind of therapist he actually was and how long he had been in Practice Wania?  There is a 'doctor' who has been struck off the NHS but continues to practice privately but doesn't tell potential patients those details!

And if the 1st therapist and patient don't gel, it's OK to look round for some1 more appropriate.