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[Postmeno3]

Hi,
I'm just looking back at my mother (and even my mother-in-law) and realising that menopause was affecting really, really badly. Of course, women were just having to "get on with it" back in the day, but still not all suffered. I'm just curious as to whether there could be a genetic link even though it's hard to understand how there could be? Anyone else with similar thoughts or experience? Thanks!
💚

[EllaAurora]

Hi again,
I've thought about exactly the same recently! Unfortunately, I don't have any real information on this, but I could imagine that genetics play a role here too. As far as I recall, the age of menopause at least is to some extent inherited so that if mother had an early menopause, daughter would have higher risk for that too. Could it then be that also the severity of symptoms might follow the same logic? Perhaps someone in this forum knows more about this.

In any case, I've also recently thought a lot about my own mother and other older ladies in our family, and feeling a deep sense of sympathy -and a little bit of embarrassment of my own ignorance back in the day.  I also feel annoyed and pissed off about the still prevailing culture of silence around this major change that women have to go through. It still seems to be a 'hush hush'.. or 'just a menopause'.. and there is not enough accurate information and open dialogue about it. Thankfully there are doctors like Louise Newson and others that are trying to change this!

Hope you're feeling good today, take care! xxx

[Wrensong]

Yes, I've wondered about genetics too, but we never talked about menopause as Mum was postmeno at 46 when I was just 7 & passed away in her mid-70s when I was mid-30s.  To my knowledge, she never took HRT & I'm pretty sure she would have mentioned it to me in later years if she had.  I only know Mum's age at menopause as she was asked when I was with her on breast cancer diagnosis in her early 70s. 

When classic peri symptoms quite suddenly became really troublesome for me at 44, I thought I'd probably follow Mum with a relatively early menopause, though periods continued until close to average age at 50.5.  No sisters to compare notes & cousins were mostly a generation older than me. 

We were not alike physically, Mum being a lot shorter than me & half my weight again & I think her relative plumpness may have helped keep her young for her age without HRT, in as much as she probably had more oestrone than I do.  My lack of fat has been cited by several medics as probably implicated in what's been a difficult menopause, as well as osteopenia which Mum would never have been scanned for. 

In contrast to my long term thyroid condition, BSO (postmenopause) & migraine, Mum had a healthy thyroid, intact ovaries & wasn't a migraineur, so no obvious genetic links there & these differences have undoubtedly complicated menopause for me, compromising comparison to some extent.

I have a photo of Mum in her early 60s, looking more like 45, with lovely smooth, shining skin & thick hair.  Approaching 60, my skin is visibly thinner & my hair thinning, though luckily started out very thick so still a reasonable volume.  Physically Mum did pretty well, no chronic health conditions, good joints, she was supple & still able to run to retrieve her disobedient terrier into her early 70s!  But her mental health was sadly quite another matter as she was on antidepressants for relapsing major depression for as long as I can remember, as well as meds for anxiety & sleep.  As far as I know, hormone deficiency was never mentioned as the possible source & it saddens me to think that had she tried HRT, her last 30 years may have been so much easier, happier & more fulfilling.  Mum frequently talked about her health & other personal issues with me, so I feel sure she would have mentioned it if she'd thought menopause to blame for her depression & anxiety.  She frequently said no-one understood how she felt, which makes me wonder whether what had happened to her felt isolating, hard to describe & in some ways bizarre, just as many members report feeling when they first come to MM. 

I remember Mum flushing well into her late 60s (20+ years postmenopause) & possibly beyond, when she had an evening tipple which was contraindicated with her meds!  She didn't seem to feel unwell with her infrequent flushes but I wonder whether her antidepressants had a mitigating effect.  I don't ever remember her complaining of being woken by night sweats & she tended to sleep through the night, though possibly only because her old school doctor was happy to keep her permanently on sleeping tablets.  Mum was on hormone blockers from her early 70s & did mention shortly after starting Tamoxifen, that on one occasion it made her feel panicky like when she was going through menopause, so I think she felt the effects of menopause were for her temporary rather than something she'd lived with into old age.

I'm lucky that like Mum I'm generally supple & nimble, but have had the benefit of being on & off HRT for 4 of my 9 years postmeno.  I did have some joint pain pre-HRT & this has just started up again since feeling obliged to reduce my fairly low dose oestrogen 3 months ago.  Unlike mum, very poor thermoregulation with intense, relentless night sweats & insomnia have been some of my most troublesome symptoms, frustratingly resistant to various types & doses of HRT. 

I've been lucky not to take after Mum as regards chronic depression, though the severity of physical symptoms in peri without the reassurance of that being confirmed as the cause did make me anxious.

Mum would never have questioned her doctors, so it's sad to think that if they never raised menopause with her, this, together with the lack of information & taboo surrounding the transition, both greater then than today, may have meant she missed the opportunity for treatment that could have transformed her life.

Do you think you take after your Mum as regards menopause Postmeno3?

[Michelle7474]

My mom is 70 next year & I often talk to her about peri menopause/ menopause etc and she is gobsmacked of what I’m experiencing
She was 53 when she missed periods and she said she went to the doctors in a panic thinking she may be pregnant
After tests it was revealed that it was in fact menopause & the doctor had asked her if she has had any other symptoms and relayed some & she simply said I’ve had a headache but I have 6 kids to me that’s natural lol

Why didn’t I get the same
She is an out going lady and always rushing around .. past few years she may have suffered health wise but she still keeps going .. she loses her patience fast maybe that’s a symptom for her lol

[Gynaikeíos]

Even with hindsight, I realise that I really do not know how menopause was for my mother or my grandmothers.
My mother was 46 when diagnosed with low thyroid. She was already exhausted with caring for my terminally ill father. To my sadness and shame, her teenage children were not the support for her we could have been, but we were involved in caring, too, and it was all such a strain. She was losing sleep, so her GP gave her sleeping pills. She had some drugged sleep, but we children had to take on night care for our dad.

She was on Prozac for a while. It did her no good. She was like a drunk robot. Maybe she was suffering badly with perimenopause? She never spoke to us about her health other than that she needed her thyroid medication, and so many other medications upset it. Alcohol  upset
it.  Even having thyroid pills made in a different factory upset her, but the GP said it was impossible. (Ignorant GP,  by the way).

My grandmothers went from fit older ladies to very old ladies very fast from the point of view I had then. The age gap between my mother's mother and my mother was 19 years, so it is possible they were both experiencing peri at the same time, and granny hit menopause hard.
Both she and my mother were probably depressed. My mother's sisters were mostly OK - none of  them have ever been carers. The youngest had HRT immediately after coming off the pill. She had menopause symptoms only after removal of a cancerous lump in her breast when she was in her early 60's.

Maybe the later peri that I am experiencing is because I take after my father's mother? She was 20 years older than my other grandmother, and would have been about 70 when she became an old lady quite suddenly.

[Jasmine20]

What an interesting question. Despite the ups and downs of trying HRT, I'm extremely grateful to have access to it at all and I do wonder about my forebears.

I remember my Mum getting a lot of hot flushes which seemed to go on for a long time (as in years) but she always seemed to have good levels of energy, didn't complain about joint or muscle pain and didn't get vaginal atrophy until she was in her early 90's. She had three pregnancies (I'm one of twins) and I do sometimes wonder if that has a protective effect with VA although I realise many mothers on this forum would say otherwise!

My three sisters have had children but I did not. None of them have had VA problems but two of them are on HRT for joint pain and hot flushes.

Mum was offered HRT by Prof Studd as she was part of a study he was doing into bone density. She declined but was regularly scanned at his clinic and has always had good bone density anyway.

I remember Dr Naomi Potter posting on instagram about a patient of hers with terrible VA in her early 40s. She was misdiagnosed for years as she was considered too young to be perimenopausal but improved quickly with the right treatment. This woman then remembered how her mother had a nervous breakdown in her mid 40s and wondered if she had been suffering silently with the same issues.

Perhaps there are environmental issues too - so many chemicals can disrupt the endocrine system and our generation has been exposed to them since birth plus birth control etc.

[Wrensong]

Yes Jasmine20 - our generation & an unknown legacy of oral contraceptive use is something I've often wondered about.

[Perinowpost]

My mother was only 20 years older than me so I was aware of her menopause (although I didn’t understand it at the time). She fainted 3 times to my knowledge twice in the supermarket and once shopping in the market. Ambulances were called but the cause of the fainting never explained to her, but I’m sure it was meno as she suffered brain fog around the same time. Sadly she died at 56 of an unrelated illness (pancreatic cancer) so I’ve never been able to compare notes with her and I’m the same age she passed away at now. Physically I take after her (although taller), and I’m sure my difficult menopause has been similar to hers; although of course I have the benefit of hrt which she did not x

[Scampidoodle]

Interesting stuff isn’t it. I had my genetics tested through a menopause clinic as I was struggling on oestrogen and it was fascinating. I’ve got really poor abilities to detoxify oestrogen and have a high sensitivity to it so a very small amount goes a long way with me. A ‘normal’ dose makes me v v ill. So I think genetics have a huge role to play in menopause and also how we all react to treatments. I know there are standard treatments and doses but they just cannot possibly suit everyone as we are all built differently. Also made me think about the common thinking that we all need more oestrogen. Although this is often the case for many, as my genetic testing proved, it won’t always work out well. X

[Postmeno3]

As a matter of interest, Scampidoodle, were you tested for oestrogen levels and, if so, what came up? Thanks for this very interesting post!

[Scampidoodle]

Because I had such a poor reaction to oestrogen gel. Moods fluctuated and were worse when my natural E was high, got hot flushes I never had before plus so foggy and memory loss, achy.

I was told I had histamine intolerance and trouble with E clearance etc.

At the menopause clinic I’m at they advise genetic testing for people who don’t get on too well with treatment.

I think too much E can be a bad thing for some. Prior to this I’d been at a different reputable hormone clinic who just suggested upping the E each time! 

[Scampidoodle]

Think one of my posts disappeared! Yes my E levels were tested and pretty low for my age (42) but fluctuated a lot depending on when in my cycle I was tested. So ranged from 79pmol to 432pmol in blood tests