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Author Topic: Alcohol free days  (Read 1184 times)

VikkiP

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Alcohol free days
« on: December 29, 2020, 03:26:14 PM »

Hi all, i am starting this thread in the hope i am not alone in my struggles. Alcohol entered my life at age 14 and it's been a love/hate relationship since. Actually, it's more hate than love and i am constantly fighting a battle to quit, permanently if i could, but i am only human.

I would like this thread to be about anything alcohol, from how many days free you are, to struggles you face, to funny/sad/embarrassing stories etc. Also any and all the ways alcohol helps/hinders your menopause journey, because it certainly affects me and my symptoms.

Admin, i hope this thread is ok, and if it should be under another forum topic, could you please move it for me? (IT technophobe!)
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CLKD

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2020, 04:15:45 PM »

Hi!

I went off alcohol probably due to my earliest escapades.  Apparently  ::).  My Dad had 2 brothers: the whole family; uncles, cousins, parents, grandma/grandad - would get together at C.mas.  NOISE ........ lots of food, steam in the kitchen and the sherry, port, whisky ......

When I was 4 apparently I crept round the lounge finishing up the bottoms of the glasses.  Adults were playing cards.  Don't know where the cousins might have been ........  :-\.  Well sherry, port, whisky - mixed - had me on the table.  Dancing  ;D :D.  I remember nowt.

We were always allowed a sip of what ever Dad opened, a habit he returned from Switzerland with where children from the age of 8 were allowed a small glass of watered down alcohol.  When in College aged 17-ish, I tried Babycham.  Twice.  OK at the time but in the early hours I felt SO ill.  Bubbles kept round my gut ........ the thing I like about Babycham now is the little deer  :-*

So I've not had alcohol often.  Many years ago I tried some red wine - in the days when there were no remote controls.  I walked towards the TV but ended up on the other side of the room  :o.  That was it ........ apart from a sip of anything expensive that DH might open  ;).

Makes Pub visits hard work as orange juice gets cloying  :(.

For 8 years we had friends and were unaware that the husband had a drink problem from years back, in fact all his male family members had problems.  He eventually ended his Life due to damage to his liver .........

It's a bit like smoking.  When does a person light up or reach for a drink?  That's the habit that needs thinking about ;-). 

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jaypo

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2020, 04:36:02 PM »

I'm surprised my liver wasn't pickled in my youth,every weekend,dread to think what I consumed but now,weekends only and holidays,two glasses of red and maybe a couple of bottles of lager on a Friday and Saturday,could I give it up? Maybe but I enjoy my wine and never overindulge
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CLKD

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2020, 04:46:40 PM »

DH wanders the alcohol aisles leaving me at the magazine stand  ::).  It's a complicated relationship, drugs.  I could with the anxiety and panic attacks I may well have turned to the bottle  :'( but fortunately. 

MayB making a list of when you reach for a drink and what it might be?  What do you expect to feel from a drink?  Also how much it costs ;-) as a lot if tax and would you pay that amount of tax willinging ?

I love the aisles of spirits all lit up.  But am never tempted to break up the display  ::)
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sheila99

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2020, 05:43:59 PM »

I have definitely got less tolerent as I've got older but the same applies to chocolate etc that I could binge on in my youth. I very rarely overindulgence now, I feel too rough the next day. I'm not giving up the cointreau coffee though.
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CLKD

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2020, 09:44:03 PM »

I think that with many treats, how would you react if someone took it away from you? 
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befuddled

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2020, 10:53:08 PM »


I've never been a binge drinker, but for years (a lot of years) i was having two or three glasses of wine a day, pretty much every day.   I always knew I ought to cut down, but kept putting off making the effort.  Then something made me think that i'd been pushing my luck for long enough and I wasn't going to get away with it forever. 

I tried loads of soft drinks but didn't really enjoy any of them much, but then tried a few alcohol free/low alcohol beers and ciders and they'd definitely improved since I'd last tried them. I didn't miss the alcohol at all, not even my much loved glasses of wine.

I wasn't intending to give up completely, just "everything in moderation" and I thought it was going to be really hard to break such a long-standing habit, but it wasn't.   I think if you can find a good alternative to something it is so much easier than just going without.

I think that with many treats, how would you react if someone took it away from you? 
That's a really good way of looking at it. 
You can have my alcohol, but if you ever dare to take away my cheese.........
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jaypo

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2020, 09:17:57 AM »

I'd like to see you try take my glass of wine away on a Friday evening clkd  ;D
I really don't see the problem if you enjoy something why you'd want to give it up,as long as it's in moderation and not harmful but if you're having it poured over your weetabix,then maybe time to seek help
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CLKD

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2020, 09:55:40 AM »

I think it's acknowledging that there may be a problem ......... drinking alone, drinking instead of X, Y, Z ?

Come in Vikki
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sheila99

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2020, 10:13:56 AM »

But the weetabix are so much nicer  ;D
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VikkiP

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2020, 01:57:28 PM »

Hi guys! Lots of lovely replies  :)

Basically, my mam was an alcoholic, she was either angry and sad, or drunk and happy, so i suppose i took in that drink made you happy, if you weren't drunk, you weren't having fun! As i got into my teens and started drinking, i still believed, if you weren't drunk you weren't having fun. When i left school i was out every Saturday, but always drank too much and was in bed by 10, but still persevered. When i met my hubby, he was a drinker too, so it just carried on all through my life.

The situations i put my self in were shocking, i am lucky to be here really, the things that could have gone wrong. It put a strain on my relationship with hubby, and i wasted so much time being drunk, it's my biggest regret in life.

About 2 Christmas ago, i decided i had had enough, my health was terrible, my mental health was appalling, i was so low, i knew i had to change. It has taken a lot of effort and willpower, and the first year was hard, i didn't really cut down that much, the longest  i went was 28 days, then back on, back off. So this year i decided to try harder, and i did 90 days from January to end of March. i felt amazing, everything improved, even though my dad died in February and Hubby dad died in January, but i got through it, if i had been drinking i would not.

Anyway, Lockdown 1.0 happened, so it just happened, boredom, fear, uncertainty,  quite a worrying time. Managed to stop for 53 days from July and August, also lost a stone and a half, ate healthy and exercised. Then quite a stressful time at work, which i didn't cope well with, then a young boy in town took his own life and it knocked my for six, i didn't know him, but as a mother it tore my heart open.

I believe stress and pain kick it off, but once i have one, i want to drink everyday. So this year, i am going for totally free for as long as i can. I know lots of people do dry January, so i just thought it might be good to have a thread to support anyone might need it, including myself  :-*

Sorry to ramble, nearly finished - Looking back, i'm sure my grief and anxiety this year has been very much influenced by the perimenopause, as i never and any idea what anxiety felt like until the last few months, and i have never experienced lows like i had either, and i can feel myself drifting there again, thats the main reason i am stopping. Drank nearly none stop last 7-10 days and you just feel numb, no highs, no lows, just nothing.

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CLKD

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2020, 02:04:07 PM »

You recognise your triggers.  You know what sadness is in your Life and how it is relieved by alcohol.

Don't beat yourself up!  MayB in mid-Jan have a word with your GP Practice, they may run help or have details of local groups that you could connect with.  It is hard not to reach for the bottle or whatever eases the anxiety.  Fortunately I know that the emergency tablet stops anxiety 4 me so I don't need any more. 

When my friend ended his Life 4 years ago it took me off my feet, I really thought it might happen to me  :-\ because I am vulnerable.  I got through by looking no further than half a day at a time.  Not planning too far ahead.  It was the shock element that took the wind from my sales.

I think that you could consider appropriate anti-anxiety medication, either regularly for 4 weeks then on an 'as necessary' basis.  1 shouldn't consider alcohol when on prescribed meds..

Think about how alcohol makes you feel - sleepy, relaxed, happier - also what the effects are when you stop drinking.  U have done well in the past so you are able to take control.
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jaypo

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2020, 04:22:22 PM »

Well done Vikki,isn't the hardest part recognising there's a problem? Would you consider and AA meeting? My OHs niece took her own life a year ago and it is the most awful thing to come to terms with but I don't turn to the bottle, I think maybe once or twice in my life have I ever done that but I know how it would be easy to do,just don't beat yourself up,you've stopped the alcohol before and I'm sure you can do it again and we're all here for you if you need to offload,keep us posted
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CLKD

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2020, 04:33:59 PM »

I think sometimes celebrations can get OTT too.  Which is why I avoid any place that has parties and alcohol  :-\
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Lyncola

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Re: Alcohol free days
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2020, 04:18:20 AM »

I haven’t had many drinks in my life, as a child I was allowed to sip and taste wine and beer.
As I got older I like rum and coke but it goes straight through me so only had 4 in total.

I have no real desire to drink I don’t like the taste, and only drank in my early twenties to fit in. I’ve only drank 15 glasses in my life if that, and have never been drunk.

One day I asked myself why don’t I have any desire to drink. I think it comes from my childhood, seeing my parents always drinking. I blame their drinking to me being molested, as they were to busy drinking to know where I was and who was attacking me.

Another childhood memory is camping with my parents. Their cask of wine was broken so they drunk it all in one night. My dad wandered off and went to sleep somewhere and left me and my sister (8 and10 I was 8)  to deal with my mum. After nearly falling into the camp bonfire, we got her to the tent. Where my Mum jumped up and down on the inflatable bed, and then vomited everywhere.

When I had my own babies, I didn’t want to drink, I made sure I was always alert and watched them around adults to prevent what happened to me.

Funny thing is I don’t want to drink, my sister is a piss head and drinks all the time. She posted pictures of herself totally drunk with her children right next to her.

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