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[DDug]

Thanks Taz you are not being hard I know you are right and I tell myself all those things, that he is a successful independent and happy man and as his mum I have carried him through.

What I wanted to know is how you find your purpose after they leave?

X

[Taz2]

It happened gradually over the years with me. As mine needed me less I filled the freed up time with working more hours at a job I loved, increasing hobby time and becoming less tied to the house and routine. Are you working?

Taz x

[DDug]

Yeah I work and do full up the hours there.  I think part of my struggle is how quick it was, he met her in March and 2 weeks later they were living together.  There was no shift.

[getting_old]

Yeah I work and do full up the hours there.  I think part of my struggle is how quick it was, he met her in March and 2 weeks later they were living together.  There was no shift.

Do you have any concerns about them being right for each other, and I'm not meaning the "no one is good enough for my kid" that most parents have? Are there any red flags? If you do think they are good together, and that she is / will be your DiL, then are there ways you can build more of a relationship with her?
Otherwise can you take up a new hobby so you meet new people?

[CLKD]

DDug: you have done a great job !  My Mum 'gave us wings to fly' ;-). 

What do U miss most about DS being around ?  Surely not his laundry ;-).

Making time for yourself is important now.  At least you are in contact.  As Taz explained, when our age group left home it was usually to be married - I never lived in a flat or anything like that, DH went to Uni for 7 years and his Mum had raised him to care for himself.  When we left to go on honeymoon I never gave a thought to how my parents felt! 

Hobbies: volunteering: what floats your boat? We have a hobbies-type thread here somewhere as well as 'bookworm' etc., and exercise ....... could you join in the local school to support slow readers for example?  Or a Scout/Guiding group in your area?  It's a bit intimidating initially but if you offer up yourself you may be surprised! Let us know how you get on.