One the 1st day of Christmas my True Love said to me,
"I've bought a big fat turkey and a proper Christmas tree"
On the 2nd day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into that turkey, a most delicious bird
On the 3rd day of Christmas, came the people from next door
and the turkey tasted just as good as it did the day B4
On the 4th day of Christmas came relations young and old,
We finished all the Christmas Pud and had the turkey cold
On the 5th day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes scurried
But we were nice and warm inside, and the turkey we had curried.
On the 6th day of Christmas, the Christmas Spirit died
The children fought and bickered and we had the turkey rissoles fried.
On the 7th day of Christmas my True Love he did wince,
When he sat down at the table and was offered turkey mince.
On the 8th day of Christmas the dog had run for shelter,
He's seen our turkey pancakes and the glass of Alka Seltzer.
On the 9th day of Christmas, by lunchtime Dad was blotto,
He knew that bird was back again; this time as a risotto.
On the 10th day of Christmas, we were drinking home made brew,
And if that wasn't bad enough, it washed down turkey stew.
On the 11th day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting.
With chilly, soy and oyster sauce that turkey was revolting.
On the 12th day of Christmas, we had smiles upon our lips
Our guests had gone; the turkey to - and we had fish and chips.