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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 75 out now. (Spring issue, March 2024)

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Author Topic: Mental health crisis  (Read 12553 times)

racjen

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Mental health crisis
« on: September 21, 2020, 11:17:11 AM »

I am having a really terrible time at the moment. After 8 - 10 months of relative stability on Evorel and Provera my mood started to deteriorate again, the crippling anxiety returned and I became quite severely depressed. This coincided (not surpisingly) with lockdown, as it meant all my support systems disappeared overnight. Also I think not helped by the unavailability of Evorel for quite a few months, so substitution with Estradot which I now think didn't agree with me. Back on Evorel now but only for a week or so so waiting to see if that has any effect.

Anyway, a week ago it all became way too much for me and I took an overdose, ended up in hospital for 5 days and am now in a psychiatric unit wondering what the hell happened. I feel absolutely awful - acutely anxious, very depressed and hopeless about ever regaining my mental health (and I'd never suffered from anything like this before menopause). Needless to say the psychiatrist here really isn't interested in investigating the hormonal side of things any further and I feel powerless to argue as I'm at such a low ebb and completely alone. They're prescribing an anti-psychotic drug called quetiapine to try and control the anxiety as I've tried every anti-depressant in the book with no success. Has anyone had any experience of this, or any thoughts on what I can do now? Really I just desperately need some support - it's very lonely in here and my family have pretty much disowned me as they can't cope with me anymore. The dr is talking about discharging me in 2 - 3 weeks and then I'll have to go and live on my own, which terrifies me....
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Flan747

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2020, 11:23:04 AM »

Sorry to hear this Racjen. I have no answers but sure someone will be along soon with some advice! Thinking of you at this awful time for you! It will get better it’s just finding the right balance which sometimes takes a while
Take care xx
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CLKD

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2020, 11:29:05 AM »

..... and breath  :hug:

U know I find that dedicated anti-anxiety medications work for me - it's what they are designed for.  At my worst I would have taken heroin if I had thought it would cure me  :'(


Bachs rescue remedy can ease symptoms: I have used the mouth spray successfully.  I spray it and get on, trying to intercept anxiety B4 it begins.  There are pastilles too.  I tried to learn relaxation therapy but found it difficult to find time and when I did sit down to listen to the tapes I fell asleep: not a bad thing.

Do you have a Social Worker who could work with you so that what you need to impart gets put to the medical team?  2-3 weeks is a while away, try to live half a day at a time.  Trouble is with professionals, they have read the book but not necessarily been through depression and anxiety!

Also when ill I often think that I will be told "There is nothing more I can suggest" which causes huge panic.  Dr Kathleen Dalton [I think] did a lot of work in the 1970s/80s about hormonal upsets on mood etc..  [NAPS].  Could you send an e-mail to them to see what up2date info there may be?

Could you keep a mood/food/symptom diary?  Something to hand over when the Doctor appears at the bed side? 
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racjen

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2020, 11:50:01 AM »

Sorry to hear this Racjen. I have no answers but sure someone will be along soon with some advice! Thinking of you at this awful time for you! It will get better it’s just finding the right balance which sometimes takes a while
Take care xx

Unfortunately it's already been an awful long time (3 years since I started HRT) and I haven't found the right balance yet. No-one in the medical profession really seems interested; I'd be prepared to shell out to see Louise Newson, but unfortunately she has a waiting list of about 6 months at the moment.

CLKD, I've been on diazepam for too long and am now tolerant to it; other anti-anxiety medications (beta-blockers, pregabalin etc.) just haven't worked or have worsened my depression severely. And as for Rescue Remedy - are you joking? I'm talking full on terror-type anxiety; if Rescue Remedy works for you that's great but we're clearly talking about a completely different intensity of anxiety. And a food/mood diary? They'd laugh in my face (what's food got to do with it anyway?) I will look up Dr. Dalton though - thanks for that.
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CLKD

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2020, 11:59:28 AM »

You've still got your spark ;-) so don't give up.   Why would they laugh?  A good professional will take time to explore any option in order to help a patient to heal or regain control.  Nope I wasn't joking.  This is about getting you well B4 they discharge you.  What I hate though is when I suggest something and I get patronised  >:(

Food can be important - the brain is often forgotten, out of sight etc..  Our whole bodies require nourishment and a good diet can make a huge difference.  When anxiety strikes me I stop eating  :-\ but my brain continues "You must eat, you must eat".  Like a stuck record and of course I do know that food is important: but I simply can't swallow   :'(.  My sense of smell is more acute: does that happen to you? : so foods that I would usually eat smell too 'rich' so it is impossible 4 me to even consider them.

Watching athletes and ballet dancers and hearing how they have to modify diets depending on how busy they are ........ rang bells for me many years ago.  I also go light headed if I don't have breakfast and again, the anxiety starts. 

When anxiety strikes I am in a shivering heap on the floor within seconds.  I had a psychologist try to tell me that anxiety attacks can 'only last 20 mins. B4 they burn themselves out'.  I left that session and never went back.  My longest attack was nearly 3 days, I shook so badly that the mahogany 4-poster bed moved  :o.   

That aside, do look up the NAPS web-site.  Won't do any harm to explore the research. 



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racjen

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2020, 12:03:46 PM »

NAPS is about Pre-menstrual syndrome - it says nothing about the menopause whatsoever.
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CLKD

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2020, 12:10:54 PM »

It's about hormonal upheaval.  I'll ask the question ..... ;-)

Did send an e-mail - long and wandering, even for me  ::) .......... to NAPS.  Will let you know if I get a response!
« Last Edit: September 21, 2020, 12:24:47 PM by CLKD »
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Wrensong

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2020, 01:00:52 PM »

So sorry to hear this racjen  :hug:

Quote
I'd be prepared to shell out to see Louise Newson, but unfortunately she has a waiting list of about 6 months at the moment.

Could you maybe contact Newson Health & explain the situation, asking for a cancellation appt, when you're in a position to talk to them?  I imagine they will want to help if they can.  I went to them in 2019 - they gave me a cancellation within a few days of my first ringing them.
Wx
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charliegirl

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2020, 01:06:07 PM »

Hi racjen, I have been where you are now and its not fun. I am on a very small dose of quetiapen 25mg and it does work to calm down the anxiety, try the smallest dose first at night, it also will help you sleep. Your flight or fight system is on high alert at the moment, and the more you think about it the worse it gets. Look at the website by Nic Bird called A Little Peace of Mind. It may help you. Try and take this one day at a time. As you say, the staff dont understand if they havn’t been there! There is hope underneath all you are going through! Hold on.xx
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Bring me Sunshine

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2020, 02:13:13 PM »

Racjen

Sorry to read this as I too could have been in your position so easily this year and back in 2017 when all this menopause struck and no anti depressant helped me at all.  I didnt think I would get better at all truly the mental health team didnt want me I didnt think I was getting anywhere with hrt I was so desperate.  What the mental health team did say was that the gp and meno clinic had to work harder to balance the hormones.  So I have been going for regular blood checks and finally for the last 2 weeks I am well the hormone levels are in the right place and have to stay there but i will keep going back every few weeks to check on them.  I have joy again and a future.  I would say that I too have a private appt with a meno lady recommended to me by teh menopause cafe a lady in Bristol we were just going to zoo thats on 30 Sept.  I havent cancelled it as yet but I sent an email with all my sad story which was desperate and she said "you have been through the mill havent you we will get you sorted" she charges £125 but you get follow up tel call and emails I am sure.  YOu could have my appointment if I dont keep it and as im feeling now I dont think I need it. Plus my car has broken down so mpney needs to go to that.  Have a think.  Dont give up help is just around the corner I was soooooooooooooooo desperate I really really was xx
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Bring me Sunshine

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2020, 02:14:19 PM »

just read my message we were not going to the zoo  ;D we were going to zoom as Bristol too far away for me and even further with a broken car!!
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racjen

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2020, 04:08:26 PM »

Thanks for the offer Bring me Sunshine - who is the specialist?
« Last Edit: September 21, 2020, 07:26:07 PM by racjen »
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Mary G

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2020, 06:08:07 PM »

racjen, I'm very sorry to hear you have been so low.   Sorry to state the obvious but you desperately need some specialist help and soon.   I would definitely try Wrensong's suggestion and see if you can get a cancellation at the Newson clinic or you could take up Bring me Sunshine's kind offer.   You should not need to travel, all clinics are offering telephone/Zoom appointments at the moment.

For what it's worth, I think you were knocked back by the oestrogen instability with the 100mcg Estradot patches and it might take a good few weeks to get back to where you were with the Evorel patches.   The effects of hormone spikes can be devastating for some women.   But don't take my word for it, please try to get an appointment with a specialist.

Please let us know what you decide to do.
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Bring me Sunshine

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2020, 07:19:23 PM »

racjen her name is Hazel Hayden

Your 45 minute Consultation with Hazel Hayden Bristol Menopause at 12:00pm (UK, Ireland, Lisbon Time) on Wednesday, September 30, 2020 is scheduled.
As from 29th June 2020 I can see people in my Clinic again or if you would prefer via Zoom
If you have any problems with this booking, please call 07470867485  Dear Julie,

Thank you for booking in with me.


You poor thing you have been through the mill.

We will get you sorted.

Thats what she said to me.  Have a look and I can speak to her if you want to take my appointment.  Please never give up I truly nearly did and now I feel better its hormones and it wreaks havoc.  You are not mentally ill you just need the right level of hormones for everything to work that is what I was told. xx
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Baby

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Re: Mental health crisis
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2020, 07:20:14 PM »

Oh racjen. I am in your shoes, I think about taking my life regularly  but something inside me keeps telling me to fight. The anxiety cripples me and I walk round the streets with my sunglasses on just sobbing and sobbing. Feelings of complete hopelessness fear and guilt consume me. I just can't get my hormones right. I did have a video consultation with newson health 250 pounds to be told to up my HRT which didn't work.  I go to the gym swim run waiting for feelings of happiness but they don't come. I actually took a lorazepam last night and it did knock me out for a few hours. I am on pregabalin but it doesn't help. The doctor did want to try  quetiapine at the beginning of this year  but I was too scared to take it. The word anti physcotic meds petrified me. And I feel because it's more to do with our hormones these drugs will just mess us up more. My husband was thumping the wall The other nighT because I was screaming to the lord to just let me die. I don't  know how much more of this shit i can take. I live half a day at a time but it's not living its existing. All my love Baby.x
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