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Author Topic: its not only the hormones that change  (Read 3210 times)

Countrygirl

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its not only the hormones that change
« on: February 16, 2019, 03:58:43 PM »
This has been at the back of my mind for a while so here I go.

I've been going through this 'change' just over 6 months and just before Christmas I stood next to someone who has known me well for years and last saw me around Christmas so not even 12 months before. They didn't recognise me till I spoke I saw there was some recognition, but they definitely didn't know it was me, I had changed that much but I couldn't blame them as I don't recognise me when I look in the mirror.

I still do the same things, but I no longer recognise who is looking back at me, I've been told it changes you and I need to accept that and reinvent myself, but i can't do that as I honestly don't know who I am.

Im guessing that's why some call it mid life crisis, but is it x
« Last Edit: February 17, 2019, 11:46:33 AM by Countrygirl »
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CLKD

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2019, 04:26:29 PM »
How have you altered?  More/less weight on your face?  Dark rings under your eyes?  When I got to about 45 I began to look like my Mum  :o  :-\ whereas I loved looking like my Dad  ;)

Could you have a new hair-do to perk you up for Spring?  Maybe visit a Salon that has wigs so that you can try a few on for effect?  I've done that in the past.  Or treat yourself/get a gift of a morning at a Counter, i.e. in Boots - to have make-up appropriate to your colouring?  Sometimes ladies with long hair after 45 look older, so shorter hair might lighten their over-all look.  Get my drift .... I know we shouldn't change for others but if you had an up-date appt. it will improve your over-all confidence.

Or maybe this person was depressed and deep in thought? I would walk by people in the street the I was really ill and would jump if anyone spoke to me.  Do you have someone close [other than your Dad ;-) ] who would be honest?  Someone who doesn't see you often?
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jillydoll

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2019, 04:29:32 PM »
Hi Countrygirl.
It is a crisis....no doubt about that one!
I think we all change, it's all in the game, it's how we deal with it that matters.
I mean, I've changed. And not just my looks, I've got  wrinkles now on my face, which I hate and detest
and I can't believe that's ME in the mirror, I've aged so much, but there's nothing we can do about it.
Some days , it gets me down when I see myself in a window or mirror, and I'm still having trouble excepting that  that's me, but then I think, there's no need for it to get you down, it is what it is, and the only one who's suffering about all this is ME!
I know it's hard, but embrace your changes, look at what you've achieved while getting to this age, it was no easy task, we don't stay young forever. And it IS happening to everyone.
I still do my hair and make up, if I didn't , well, I might as well just throw the towel in, but you can't give up, I said to my OH the other day, when you see me with no make up on, hair all over the place, THATS when you know I've given up!  ........but I don't think i ever will. It makes me feel better about myself, look, we can't go back, so why make ourselves miserable by beating ourselves up by something that's normal.....the ageing process.....as long as you make an effort, and feel comfortable, that's all that matters......you WILL find yourself again, maybe a new reinvented version of you, but you, still the same.... :bighug:
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CLKD

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2019, 04:36:49 PM »
My apron dropped several years ago and I feel fat sometimes  :-\.  Also I think my waist line has thickened so must do more exercise  :D  ???

Otherwise, having been through deep depression and a lot of anxiety I value every day I can get out of bed and go somewhere without problems.  I rarely look in the mirror ......
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Countrygirl

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2019, 05:46:52 PM »
I've lost weight quickly due to illness so it left me gaunt, but I was just starting to feel better and then my anxiety got worse along with low mood far worse than it had been for years because the hormones then kicked off. I have lost the small amount of confidence in myself that I had.

I'm on the waiting list for cbt again so hoping that might help me x
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CLKD

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2019, 09:01:14 PM »
Plus you can vent on here ........

Has anything improved at all?  Me: I'm more bolshie  8)
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Countrygirl

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2019, 07:27:34 AM »
Yes I'm starting to sleep better and the bad thoughts stopped being all the time, so I know I'm on the right track and hormones are definately at play x

I wouldn't mind being a bit more bolshie too 😉 CLKD x
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Emerald2017

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2019, 11:34:10 AM »
I find that when I feel good about myself and my life, I look handsome and secure.
When I feel depressed I don't recognize myself and look angry and insecure.
I believe that the way we look it depends on how we feel about ourselves. I have a friend, she had her Meno at 47, she is 53, no hrt and she looks gorgeous! She has a body of 40, a few wrinkles and that's all! She lives her life and she inspires me!
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jillydoll

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2019, 12:46:22 PM »
That's exactly it Emerald2017.
I'm still in my jimjams, hair all over place, a bit of yesterday's mascara on, and I look a right mess! 🙀
But because I feel ok, I still look ok, if that makes sense? Probably not, but if I was feeling depressed, I would different, if you get my meaning.....
I'm not doing anything, or going out today, so I can get away with it, but yeah, the mood we're in definitely changes the way we look....

👩🏼/🧟‍♀️
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CLKD

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2019, 02:44:08 PM »
That reminds me  :o - many years ago I had a bright coloured dress which I could wear when I felt able to: can't remember whether it was pre- or post-periods but no way would I wear it unless I felt good and could cope with any negative comments that might waft my way.  I loved it.  I had to give it away eventually as it didn't get enough wear  ::)

Now I wear as brightly coloured clothes as possible in clashing shades  :D and yep, purple's in there too.
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jillydoll

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2019, 03:34:34 PM »
Good for you CLKD.  :ola:

All these things we learn over time, and if it makes us feel good, then go for it ........
That's what I say!  😉😉
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CLKD

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2019, 03:49:28 PM »
Bolshie that's me!  It took a while to learn to say 'no' and mean it.  I now ask that I am given time to check my calendar ....... B4 I eventually say no.
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jillydoll

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2019, 03:59:42 PM »
Haha.    :rofl:
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Reen

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2019, 04:25:21 PM »
When I looked in the mirror for the first time this morning, I was shocked to find a humungous zit on the end of my nose! I haven't had spots for donkey's years and even as a teenager I only got a few. So yeah, my skin seems to be changing (my pores look larger too). Maybe it's the HRT kicking in? I've been on femoston conti for just over a month now. I might have to think about changing my skin products now - any excuse to shop to be honest  ;)
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jillydoll

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Re: its not only the hormones that change
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2019, 07:07:05 PM »
Sending   :bighug: to you Country girl, And Birdy....

Hope you feel better soon......xx
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