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[racjen]

I am desperate - I have such severe anxiety and depression, brought about by sudden chemotherapy menopause, my life has completely fallen apart, lost my job, regularly think about suicide... So far no-one has come up with a solution - raising my estrogen level has helped up to a point with the depression, but the acute anxiety, which was triggered by utrogestan, now doggedly refuses to respond to anything. I also need testosterone but my body refuses to tolerate it - seems to make the depression worse. I fought to get a referral to my nearest NHS menopause clinic, 3 hours drive away, went fully armed with all the facts about what I'd tried already and what my blood levels are right now, and came away feeling that it was all total guesswork, the consultant even tried to make out that I didn't need testosterone because my ovaries would still be producing it. This is both theoretical nonsense and wrong in my case - he looked a bit sheepish when I showed him the level had come back as practically zero.  And surprise surprise, after 3 months his guesswork has resulted in absolutely no improvement whatsoever.

The problem for me is that having menopause brought on suddenly by chemotherapy seems to be a pretty unusual situation, and no-one really seems to have a clue how to deal with it. I have savings I'm prepared to spend to get some semblance of a life back, but is there even a professional out there who'd be able to help if I could manage to make the journey? (I live in Devon so pretty much anywhere feels like a long way). I want to at least be able to have a preliminary conversation with a doctor before I make what would be a hugely stressful and expensive trip for me, and no-one seems to offer that facility. Can anyone help with suggestions?

[AgathaC]

What about emailing Dr Currie? I've read on here a number of times that some members email her for a personalised response for a nominal fee.

[racjen]

Well, I did email her back when I had the problem with testosterone and she didn't have a clue and couldn't advise me if there was anyone else who might, but I guess it might be worth a try again.

[pepperminty]

Hi,

have you tried Louise Newson in Stratford?

https://www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/

Have you read Gypsyrose lee's posts on here?

I hope you find an answer

Peppermintyx

[SueLW]

I would suggest you ring Dr Newson's clinic and ask for a telephone pre-appointment because you live so far away, are really unwell and your case is so specific.  You want to know if she thinks she can help before you make the trek.  I don't see why you can't have a telephone appointment to talk to her like that if you are willing to pay for it.

The clinic is great.  Very helpful.  So ring and talk to them and see what they say.  Louise knows a lot of people, if she can't help she might have suggestions as to who might be able to help.

[CLKD]

Also go back to the Consultant and discuss how you are feeling.  I believe that Consultants should be aware of how surgical intervention can impact on patients!!

 

[NaturalMystic]

How long have you been suffering my lovely ((hugs))

[racjen]

I will go back to the Consultant, but I'm currently waiting for a follow-up appointment and not holding my breath. Been suffering from gradually worsening depression for nearly two years, and acute anxiety for over a year. Was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2016 so my life has been in total turmoil for getting on for 3 years now. Sounds like Louise Newson may be the best one to try, and at least she's not in London, which I really don't think I could cope with right  now.

[Mary G]

racjen, firstly, I'm really sorry you are going through this hell.  I agree with the others who have suggested Dr Louise Newson but I wonder if it would be worth considering an endocrinologist? 

Perhaps having a sudden menopause puts you into a different category and you need very specialist help.  I think it is safe to assume that nearly all your hormones are as a result of the HRT you are taking and that you are not producing your own now.  Therefore, a comprehensive hormone blood test would be useful so that you know exactly what you are dealing with.  Make sure you have these on the NHS before any consultation with a specialist.

I also wonder if you need a steady dose of progesterone and by that I don't mean synthetic progesterone but body identical progesterone.  I have recently started a new HRT regime and take 50mg body identical progesterone every day and feel much better for it.  I always felt good on the oestrogen only part of HRT but I did used to deteriorate towards the end of the cycle.  I thought I was the most progesterone intolerant person on earth but I was wrong, I just can't tolerate the synthetics or Utrogestan.  I always wondered why I didn't have any history of progesterone intolerance pre-menopause (I didn't have any problem with my own) but now I know, it was the wrong type at the wrong dose.

I got to the stage where I couldn't take Utrogestan anymore full stop.  I hit a brick wall.  Like you, I need high levels of oestrogen to feel good but I still have a womb and need progesterone but (up until now) it gave me migraines.  I sought the advice of a specialist who concluded that my problem was hormonal instability and oestrogen spikes which were made worse by cyclical progesterone (Utrogestan) and recommended a continuous combined regime.  This progesterone works positively and not just for womb protection, it acts like a kind of hormonal stabiliser and stops the oestrogen from spiking - well it does in my case at least.  It also has a very calming effect and the added bonus of no periods.  Of course I was nervous about starting this new regime but the specialist assured me it was nothing like Utrogestan - due to the way it is absorbed apparently - and it is not.  I don't know how well you tolerated progesterone pre-menopause and much would depend on that.  I don't think my new regime would be suitable for anyone with a history of PMS. 

I think you need a complete rethink on your regime but as you say, it would be a good idea to sound out the specialist before parting with any money.  You need to look at all options including an oestrogen implant.  You also need to know what your problem is i.e. is it hormone instability, zero testosterone or the wrong dose/delivery method?  It might take some time to finally get there but it will be worth it in the end.

If you would like any more information, please send me a PM.  For reasons I am not going to go into, I no longer mention any practitioner I consult by name in my posts on here.

I hope that helps.

[NaturalMystic]

I will go back to the Consultant, but I'm currently waiting for a follow-up appointment and not holding my breath. Been suffering from gradually worsening depression for nearly two years, and acute anxiety for over a year. Was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2016 so my life has been in total turmoil for getting on for 3 years now. Sounds like Louise Newson may be the best one to try, and at least she's not in London, which I really don't think I could cope with right  now.

I'm sorry to hear that but anxiety following that diagnosis isn't a surprise to me. My first panic attack happened about 3 months post a skin cancer diagnosis, even though they got it.

I've suffered on and off for ten years now, with long periods of none.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi MaryG

I was fascinated to read your post and so pleased you have found a good solution at last. Isn't it bizarre how different our bodies are? I always suffered dreadfully with PMS and then PND, so I learned I couldn't tolerate my own progesterone. Then the synthetic progesterone in oral HRT made me feel suicidal. Yet, bizarrely 100mg of Utrogestan a day X 7 doesn't affect me at all.

[GypsyRoseLee]

*racjen* our stories are so very similar. The physical aspects of the peri menopause were minimal for me. It was the sudden onset of crippling anxiety + very low mood which broke me. I don't have the words to fully explain how dreadful I felt, and yes I thought about suicide a lot.

Like you I tried a menopause clinic but it was a waste a time. One doctor there was skeptical I could even be peri menopausal because I was 'only' 44!

I finally ended up at Prof Studd's front door. He told me he saw women like me every day. Women who were desperate, feeling hopeless and in despair. He started me on 4 pumps of Oestrogel daily + blob of Testogel daily + 100mg of Utrogestan X 7 days a month.

Added to the above I was already taking 100mg of Sertraline a day, which my GP had persuaded me to start taking just a few days before my appointment with Studd.

Very quickly I felt something shift inside my head, like a tiny lightbulb being switched on. Then followed months of enjoying a few days of feeling back to normal followed by a run of bad days. But the bad days were never so bad as before I saw Prof Studd. Slowly I started getting more and more good days, but I must stress it took a long time and it often felt like 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. But I took hope from the fact that I COULD feel normal and back to being 'me', because there had been so many days and weeks when I had no hope and thought 'I' was lost forever.

Well, that was over 2.5 years ago, and last year I only had a handful of 'bad' days, interestingly always around the 25th of the month, which was when my period always used to start back before the peri menopause and HRT. But although the bad days are unpleasant, they are bearable. Before I saw Studd they had become unbearable and suicide was always just in the next room.

Please try and take some hope from my story. I promise you I know exactly how you feel and what you're going through. Keep posting, don't give up, and if you can try and see Prof Studd.

[pepperminty]

Hi Racjen,

GRL gives very good advice. Perhaps you can try professor Studd? There is hope out there.

Peppermintyx

[Rosie63]

What a thoughtful and positive post GRL with some really good advice.

I hope you get the help you need and deserve soon racjen.

Rosie63 xx

[racjen]

Thankyou for your post GRL - I've read your story before and I'm really glad you found someone who could help. The problem for me is that I'm pretty much already on what Dr. Studd suggests - the same level of estrogen (albeit patches not gel, but I know from blood tests that I am absorbing and now have a pretty high level, 991 pmol at the last test). 7 - 10 days of Utrogestan a month which is quite a struggle towards the end, and I've tried testosterone three times, it has this strange effect of making me depressed which seems to be really unusual. From what I've read about Dr. Studd in other posts this is his standard treatment for everyone, so I don't feel very hopeful that he'd be able to come up with anything else. I think there's something else going on for me which may be to do with high SHBG, so my body is unable to use even very high levels of estrogen and testosterone in the way that it should.