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[suzysunday]

After post menopause bleeding and few months go in came off hrt.  I had a biopsy,  scans that went on 4 months  and now just using ovestin for va.  My problem is I'm an emotional mess and so frightened of my own body.  Every twinge or pain I'm terrified it's serious.  I'm 60 and want to enjoy life, but the pmb has knocked my confidence.  I want to cry and feel so tired and I ache.  I thought when the hospital stuff was done I would settle but I can't. I am afraid of resuming sex with my lovely partner cos I am terrified of the consequences like more bleeding or cystisis.   I just  plod through the days. I don't know what to do.

[jaypo]

Hi Suzy,so sorry you're not feeling so good right now.your thread sounded just like mine when I first found this site. I was a nervous emotional wreck,like you,every twinge every ache and I kept thinking,well,this must be it this time but of course it was the bodies normal twinges and aches,probably had them for years but used to ignore them before in “my right mind “ I'm feeling better now and hope I do for a long time.have you tried anything for anxiety?most of the ladies on here suffer from health anxiety at some time or another,yet another symptom of menopause.have you tried the remedy drops?you get the in pastilles now,they helped me a little but I do think it's down to fluctuating hormones,hopefully yours will pass as mine did.youre still young,so try to remember that. I'm sure your lovely partner will understand if you talk to him,again,I've been in that boat too.hope you feel better soon xx

[BlueButterfly]

You've been in a high-stress/anxious state for so long your body might still be in that state and you're struggling to get out of it. Try relaxation and all that and if you can't seem to get out of the anxious state, don't be afraid to try an "as needed" anxiety med. It might help your body calm down and your mind. You might not need much at all either.

[suzysunday]

Yes o feel as though my body is struggling to adjust.  I've always been an anxious person but this is really acute. It comes over me in waves.

[AgathaC]

Sometimes when you get to rock bottom, you feel like that saying “the only way is up” could not possibly apply to you. I've been there. Desperate, hand wringing, gut wrenching stuff. Peppered with terrifying panics and overwhelming doom. It's awful and I empathise.
You've got to climb back up with tiny steps and regain your confidence and take back control so that you can enjoy life again.
Make a plan of small things to work towards every day, like a Walk morning and evening. Good for body and mind and wellbeing.
I'm glad you've got a lovely partner and I'm really hopeful that you will be able to get through this and come out the other side xxxx

[suzysunday]

Thanks for good advice. The whole thing has been so exhausting, from the atrophy diagnosis over 2 years ago, which was hard to take, and learning how to manage it.

[AgathaC]

Exhausting is exactly the word for it. I've exhausted myself this year and spent so much time focussed on not only actual menopausal symptoms but also health anxiety fears. It's been a really awful year in that respect and I'm determined to do better next year. Manage my symptoms, lose weight, etc etc.
Keep posting Suzy and hoping for a good Christmas for you xx

[CLKD]

Wading through treacle 

When anxiety over-took me in the 1990s I had a chart: 1-5 with 5 being when I grabbed medication to ease anxiety.  Ticked on the calendar. 

What's the worst that could happen suzysunday?  Maybe keeping a mood/food/symptom diary would be of use? Onto the paper and out of your head ;-).  Also, what ever was causing the bleeding hasn't killed you so maybe take half a day at a time. Did the bleeding stop?

Learn to breath.  Stand, listen, breath.  Do you sing as singing makes us breath correctly.  When anxious I breath rapidly which doesn't help.  It can raise anxiety as the body tries to compensate.

Listening to music helped me a lot.  That was in the days when I sat.  Staring at a wall.  Unable to do anything.  Also I use Rescue Remedy
sweets or mouth spray to ease feelings.  I never wonder if it has worked  but try to move forwards. I find that keeping busy helps too rather than sitting about. 

[suzysunday]

I find it really hard to breath properly. I know shallow breathing is not good.  I got some cbd oil to see if that helps. I don't want ad's, even short term as I was on seroxat for 12 years and as I didn't want to be on them for life, I weaned myself off, but I did it too. quickly  and really suffered withdrawal for a long time. I started to come off them 5 years ago and then all this va kicked in.  I never had children or much else that involved hospitals, so all the bleeding and biopsy was hard to cope with. Yes the bleeding stopped as soon as I stopped the tibolone. Scans showed womb lining thickening had returned to normal.  But now I rely on ovestin for va. But my.mind jumps from one perceived crisis to another.  Had a bit of breast tenderness this last week and panicking about it.  Wondering if it's from the ovestin and I should cut it back slightly but then the va and uti symptoms I had for weeks might worsen.  I can't seem to think rationally.

[CLKD]

Not from the VA treatment as that is so localised.  I had breast disease in the 1990s and my GP didn't hesitate prescribing appropriate treatment for down there.  After all, Quality of Life is important.

However,  you aren't getting much quality right now due to worry.  I think that our senses are heightened t this time of Life so we are aware of every little niggle 

As oestrogen levels drop so muscles may become lax = aches and pains, an over-the-counter pain relief should suffice.  Also, the skin may become dry: nostrils, deep in the ears, skin, vagina  , between the toes, scalp ...... a good moisturiser will help and using the VA treatment regularly is necessary. 

I have been hacking since the cold stopped now into my 7th week.  Now my lower back aches and breasts are tender.  Wondering if it's cancer but as it's bilateral, probably not.  Wondering about TB    but probably not.  But my mind does take a jump occasionally.  Not worth going to the GP about but will try to remember to mention oddities when I go for my annual well woman check in Jan/Feb..

I can't breath properly at the moment, due to the coughing.  Due to the fresh air - I've had a walk around the garden and pottered  so can't draw a proper breath. 

[suzysunday]

The ovestin leaflet says that breast tenderness can be a side effect. You sound as though you have many problems too.  When I get these anxieties it just hits my body like a spasm and get this awful tingling through me. I wish I had never gone on the tibolone and just tried with the local cream for at least a year to see how out went. I hope your cough improves soon. 

[CLKD]

Adrenaline is a natural response to perceived danger.  Apparently.  Knowing that doesn't stop my anxiety surges  .  Cortisol in the mornings used to make me feel really ill, surging through in the early hours, waking me suddenly.   Adrenaline 4 me feels like hot water coursing through my veins, scared the s*** out of me until I realised.

When did you stop the Tibolone [always read that as Toblerone  ].  It can take a while for the body to re-adjust especially when the brain kicks in with it's own anxieties.  Bugga ........... relaxation therapy helped me for several years, that's breathing correctly to slow the whole system down.  Also, have you tried the stretch and relax technique from toes upwards?  It's about finding something that eases symptoms for you.

[suzysunday]

Yes birdy, it is living in fear and that feeling of terror is very real. And that feeling of getting old and sick is hard to face. My dad died in April this year, and it was heartbreaking to watch him deteriorate.
Clkd, yes the mornings are difficult. I wake up feeling as though my body has been rigid with fear when I was asleep and I ache. I stopped the tibolone in early August abruptly and hot flushes and the rest kicked in with a vengeance on top of the health problems. I do stretching exercises and go for walks.  My mood just plummets so easily.
And bad sleep and crying make me look awful which doesn't help!

[CLKD]

I have a brown paper bag I can lend you ;-)

Walking is good because it distributes hormones 'correctly' and lifts Serotonin etc..  I found when ill that going for a walk and meeting people in the street lifted my mood even though I found it hard to face anyone.  Keeping hydrated is important as is eating little and often to ease any adrenalin surges.  Do you find that you are hungry when the mood plummets?  Have a think about the times of day/night when that is more likely to happen.  HORMONES 

[suzysunday]

Yes a paper bag would be helpful! I don't feel particularly hungry at these times. But everything is an effort and the adrenaline pulsates.  I was like this for days on end when the hospital stuff was going on.