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Author Topic: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...  (Read 38681 times)

BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #30 on: October 15, 2018, 02:01:14 PM »

Honestly it's not a terrible day today but I hate not feeling write right. Feeling much better than last week as my period came over the weekend. Probably going to throw off the hormone tests.  :-\ guess we'll have to see what the doctor says on Wednesday. Still looking forward to seeing what he has to say and getting back on something. I used to take Kurvelo (generic for Nordette-no longer made, sorry don't know the UK equivalent). The progesterone in it, levonorgestrel, seemed to agree quite well with me so will probably look for something with the same in it.
Just still feeling so off today still. My legs just feel so...it's really hard to describe honestly...not heavy, almost a sickly feeling in them. It starts in my lower back. OH was kind enough to give me a massage last night and certain points were able to recreate or aggravate the feeling and others provided relief so I know it's connected to that. It is still hard to keep bringing my mind back from the lovely health anxiety that something is wrong. The legs still work fine and have no weakness. They just feel weak and like they won't work if I try to use them. Maybe some exercise today. Hope the feeling passes soon. It does scare me a bit though it probably shouldn't.

On a side note, my legs actually look rather lovely today.  ;) They have some beautiful tone and shape...maybe I had some water retention going on. Or it was from wearing the heels yesterday. Too bad it's too cold to show them off!  ;D
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CLKD

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #31 on: October 15, 2018, 02:46:22 PM »

I remember that feeling from years ago.   Could it be referred pain from the lumbar spine?
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #32 on: October 15, 2018, 02:54:54 PM »

I remember that feeling from years ago.   Could it be referred pain from the lumbar spine?
I'm starting to think so. Glad it isnt an unusual feeling. I think with my nerves being odd lately- giving mixed signals, worse pain signals etc, and my period which does bring about cramping in my back, it's all that. Hoping it goes soon.  Legs are a bit tired now. At least they work!

Just so strange having so much muscle tension and so much lax at the same time.

Oh my I'm so dense sometimes! In replying to someone else I remembered my lovely tilted back uterus that used to give me similar feelings. Has it been so long that I've forgotten all this mess? During my time, my uterus puts pressure on the nerves and blood vessels to my legs (especially my right side...most likely why that is the ONLY leg with varicose veins all the way up into my pelvic area). So add in the lack of hormones, the extra pressure from this wonderful  ::)heavy bleed (and extra blood flow to the area) and my anatomy and we have a winner. Oh my poor brain!  :o ;D
« Last Edit: October 15, 2018, 04:34:28 PM by BlueButterfly »
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CLKD

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #33 on: October 15, 2018, 05:51:16 PM »

Maybe put your brain in a warm bath of gentle bubbles?  It is easy 2 forget symptoms as we improve which is why a diary might help.  My 1-5 levels help when I'm really anxious: 1 being background, 5 reaching for the medication.
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #34 on: October 15, 2018, 05:58:35 PM »

I think my brain needs a warm sandy beach near the ocean!  ;D Might not fix it but I'd sure rather be somewhere warm and relaxing.
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CLKD

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #35 on: October 15, 2018, 06:16:55 PM »

We have our wood burner on ..... and background heating. 
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #36 on: October 15, 2018, 06:33:18 PM »

Heating here as well! First freeze this morning.  :'( The sun will be hiding behind grey skies soon and snow. I was born a desert dweller and miss it, mostly the sun all year round.
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #37 on: October 16, 2018, 07:31:39 PM »

Thanks Birdy,

Adrenal fatigue has been mentioned to me before. I don't know what I would need to do about it really though. I don't know there, but I know here in the states very few doctors recognize it as an actual medical diagnosis so I would need to go to a naturopath or functional medicine doctor to possible get help. That wouldn't be covered and I'm exhausting our finances as it is. Luckily new insurance so less out of pocket costs and about everything was tested over the summer and paid on that already. There's not much more they could test me for these days.

As for my back, well it's just a mess anyways. I have bulging discs in my lower back so deal with sciatica at times. And the tilted uterus does put some extra pressure back there during periods. Thinking of a chiropractor at this point. I've exhausted everything else it seems.

Today the anxiety is revving itself up pretty bad....I can feel it. Tomorrow...I go tomorrow to get, hopefully, a final word on what is going on and some solutions. Aches and pains still but a bit better. Just trying to prepare for tomorrow...make sure I have all the notes I want and everything to discuss listed out. I'm sure I'll forget something.
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #38 on: October 16, 2018, 09:14:17 PM »

Thank you.
I do fit the adrenal fatigue profile quite well. I have looked some stuff up on it. I'm at a pretty advanced stage though it seems. I know it's one of those things that takes time/patience to heal. Not my strengths.
I will have to try the salt water. I 'mostly' have cut out gluten/sugars/carbs. It's awful. I'm not a fan of processed food anyways so that wasn't too bad. I tried ashgawandha once, it didn't go well. I didn't like the side effects it gave me. I am tired in the morning, crashing mid afternoon and wide awake most nights at 9pm. I probably need to focus on healing my adrenals as well as the hormones. It really is a disaster these days. I would just love to feel good again....or at least better than I do now. I'm just so drained. I don't even know if I'm really that bad these days or just so burnt out from dealing with everything that I feel worse than I really am. I had to quit working, things got so bad, but right now I REALLY need to be working as we could use the extra income. But can't work if not feeling better. *sigh* I've lost so much weight it seems...but really it's not that much in the time that's passed. With everything though, I can't seem to feel "good" even though all the blood test numbers are good.
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #39 on: October 16, 2018, 10:02:06 PM »

yeah I've been taking most of that. Rest is a different story.
Have had cortisol levels checked and they were good though. So hormones might be more at play than anything...but nothing with adrenal fatigue really hurts to try anyways! It's a nice healthy plan either way.
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #40 on: October 17, 2018, 11:40:14 PM »

Sadly my appointment didn't go as I had hoped.

Yes, I have a hormone problem but nothing he would be okay saying I'm in peri or anything like that. Still have odd cyst on ovary and now another. Wants me to do laparoscopy (I'd prefer not to) or contraceptive pill for a month and come back for another scan to see if the odd cysts have gone/shrunk/whatever. They were not there before I stopped the pill so it's all things that have happened in the last 3 months. I have more "regular" cysts as well. I also did not ovulate this month. My progesterone was low no matter that my period came early. My estrogen was 'okay'. It was within range but on the low end. FSH was actually very low....go figure.
Thoughts on the odd cyst after talking over results with a friend...most likely the endometriosis....yipee...but would be about right. Does always seem to come back quickly for me after births or stopping the pill. Just sad that I need to have the laparoscopy or take the pill again to see. I'm leaning toward the pill and will probably just get back on what I was on before. It wasn't perfect but I know I could handle the progestin in it. Aggressive endometriosis is hereditary for me so that wouldn't be a shock. Just was hoping for some better answers. I do have the option of having a blood test order that I can have on hand to go in when I'm having a really bad day and see what's going on hormonally but I just don't know. I just cried. I really was hoping for answers...not more questions. Something is going on with my hormones and while I still strongly feel peri has started...I don't have the doc to back that up without more blood tests etc. So I'm still stuck.....trying to figure out what I'm going to do....well, probably the pill to confirm the endometriosis and then.....I don't know...just wait a few more years and try again? I just don't even know. But if the pill can give me my life back...then fine. At least I'll know what to expect each week/day/month again.
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #41 on: October 18, 2018, 04:13:44 PM »

Birdy,

So I've had a single draw blood test in the morning for cortisol and also a 24 hour urine test as well (but overall test, not based on time periods) and everything has been fine so far. Not on the high end or the low end either. Right smack in the middle like about everything else. I do think that the timing is off though and need to work on my sleep routine.

Ashgawandha didn't agree with me very well so still working on healing my digestion and maybe will try it again.

I'm going to hit the adrenal fatigue diet/protocol a bit more stern now and just try to treat myself as well as I can. Very similar to diets recommended for hormonal balance, gut healing, etc. So it really isn't going to hurt my body. Just need to make sure I'm getting enough calories and nutrients. I'm so exhausted from trying to feel better....I'm just ready to give up and accept that I'm going to feel awful for a long time. But I really don't want to surrender yet. Just need to figure out what I need to do to get this body working right. Got a referral from a friend for someone that helped her through some really rough times and get her body working better so looking into that option.

I just feel so broken, lost, disappointed and defeated right now. I was really hopeful this doctor would be the one to really help me. I know I need my FSH tested during my period though to get a better picture but I'm so sick of having needles stuck in me!
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #42 on: October 18, 2018, 06:51:34 PM »

I do take magnesium.
Going to do my best to keep trying to feel better and get listened to.
It is very hard to be positive. Not feeling it today.
It doesn't help I know.
Digestion is bothering me today, stomach aches. My abdomen is tender to touch so I'm assuming some inflammation going on...wonder what I ate wrong? Or is the hormone changes happening right now? Too many factors all feeding off each other, whole 'chicken or egg' scenario.
Just lost, alone...confused....heart broken.
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BlueButterfly

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #43 on: October 19, 2018, 04:52:57 PM »

yes I do but recently ran out...might be the reason for the additional digestion issues.

Thank you. Just...thank you. I don't really know what else to say...just nice not feeling so alone right now.


So I'll be starting back on the birth control pill....probably this weekend. I don't really want to but I guess I have no choice at this point. I have something growing on my ovary that is spreading (seriously just think it is the endometriosis) and more and more cysts as my body isn't ovulating now. My periods are starting to get very irregular but my levels aren't showing enough for them to really do much else. I'm very anxious about the idea of a blood clot still even though I have no reason to worry about it and should honestly probably be more concerned with how fast the endo is coming back. I have felt worse being off the pill the last few months as far as heart palps, frequent crying, more exhausted (but sleeping better  :o), even more aches and pains, muscle spasms and everything else. So I guess at least the hormones the pill was giving me was helping...but I have so much anxiety just thinking about getting back on the pill. I need to relax though.....I had a much MUCH higher chance of having a blood clot during and after pregnancy than I do on the pill...so need to chill. Relax.....Relax...RELAX

I did have my first period in decades without a migraine though. I had some headaches but not my usual migraine. Maybe just a fluke. On the pill I had about a 1-2 day migraine...before getting on it I had 4+ day long ones (plus about 2 additional weeks of migraines as well) so it was better and I always knew exactly what day it would start so could prepare. Just was really hoping to fix my body instead of just slap a band-aid on it that'll just sort of fix the issue right now.

So hopefully with my new eating habits (going to be cutting out dairy here soon now....  :'( bye bye cheese) and relaxation techniques...I'll feel better than when things all started and maybe be brave enough to attempt a more natural approach to this hormone mess in a few months after it's been determined that the pill helps with ovarian growths, etc. Stupid hormone fluctuations. I know what's wrong....I do. But I don't have the energy, finances or anything left in me to keep trying to find a doctor that'll help me. I'm too broken right now.
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CLKD

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Re: Sick of feeling like I'm losing my mind...
« Reply #44 on: October 19, 2018, 05:02:34 PM »

Magnesium tablets gave me the 'runs'  ::)

We are all aware that the body needs a balanced diet: fats, sugars, carbs., proteins, roughage (in no particular order)  ..........  and how it can go haywire during hormonal upheavals.  I remember those well when menstruating!  I have to eat B4 my body gets hungry to stop that awful tiredness and nausea.  Keeping hydrated and having a breakfast is the best way 4 me to begin the day however late I get out of bed  ;).  I LOVE roasted veg..  Filling and tasty with olive oil and black pepper over them.   [can you smell them cooking ? ]

I also have standbys: toast; dried fruits and nuts; bananas, anything that is slow release and doesn't get burned up too quickly.  Packets every where, in both vehicles, by the bed etc.. 'to hand' ..  I would make runny Redy Brek mid-afternoon as a pick me up until T-time.  With a teaspoon of sugar added.  Also I 'go off' foods in that I will eat i.e. cheese for weeks then suddenly  :-X which means I then have to replace those foods stuffs.  I also found that my taste buds alter during the day ........ a cuppa tastes lovely at breakfast time but by mid-afternoon  :-\

Let us know how you get on. 
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