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[CLKD]

The NHS is failing you.  You have sensitive issues that you would benefit sharing with a professional.  The correct type of therapy can help enormously.!  I thought that I would be stuck for ever  .

Keeping a diary also helped.  I shredded it after 18 years ......... quietly with great satisfaction.

[paisley]

I had to respond in that I agree the NHS is failing people. A CBT therapist should be there to help you & not tell you aren't trying. You make progress in your own time & not when they say you should. I had PND after my second child years ago. I was offered ADs & tried so so many but they just didn't work. I went to counseling & it was the best thing that I ever did. So many things came out of it. I was able to resolve my bad childhood which I never really thought was a problem. The therapist was so good. She never once badgered me or made me feel bad. She made me question so much, even the relationship with my husband. I used to think everything was my fault. I learned so much & it helped me enormously.

[groundhog]

Hi all again,
Well thanks to your comments I did pluck up the courage , made the phone call and said I didn't think it was working for me.  I explained I found the proactive cbt harsh and without any understanding.  I said the fact the counsellor told me if I was unwilling to comply there was so point carrying on with the sessions, most upsetting.  I explained I'd waited 3 years for the right sort of therapy after undergoing numerous assessments so if this wasn't working I felt very disappointed that there was no where left to go.
I had a phonecsll  from the psychologist in charge who quite frankly was most disturbed by what I'd been told.  I gave her the example of the therapist almost mocking me as  tried to explain why my gp couldn't increase the dosage of antidepressants ( reason was contra indications with the pain killer I take ) not something I could say in a few words, she clapped her hands when I got to the point, she made me feel foolish.  I didn't need that.
They are going to review everything and get back to me - I won't be going back to that method of therapy as it made me feel worse.

Thank you for your encouragement and advice x 

[NorthArm]

Hi Groundhog

I'm appalled that you've been treated this way! I've read many of your threads on here, and you have certainly been through the absolute wringer - you need empathy, not mocking.

I'm really proud of you for plucking up the courage to call them and explain why you didn't feel it was working for you.

I find it quite heartening that the head of department rang you to confirm your complaint. This tells you a couple of things

1. You are not the only one - very often, you will get a call back that quickly when there have been other complaints
2. This psychologist has read your records and believes you need help and support

CBT is there to help you identify the issue, then put in place psychological supports of your own that you can draw on when you feel that wave coming upon you. In a way, it is a bit like telling the anxiety to shut up and go away, but there are many, many steps that need to be taken before you can even think to get to that stage....and they need to be handled sensitively, and you need to constantly practice them. This woman sounds like she was verbalising how you ‘should' be managing them, without guiding you, gently and with compassion and empathy. To be honest she sounds like a right b**ch, who is clearly in the wrong job.

I do hope you don't give up on getting the help you need. In the meantime, please be kind to yourself xx

[Lanzalover]

Good morning groundhog

So sorry to hear of your experience I am truly shocked. I can't think of anything I can add to to NorthArms commens.

Hopefully you will get help you need.

Take care and be kind yo yourself.

Lanzalover x

[CLKD]

Oh well done you!  How much energy did that take ..........    Be PROUD Girl!

As an aside: 4 years ago I was undergoing tooth extraction - don't read if you are at lunch ........ and the Local Anaesthetic wore off  but because of the cocktail of medication I take: betablocka, anti-depressant and anti-anxiety: the LA couldn't be topped up    - but the Surgeon didn't mock, continued quietly pulling and tugging ............

Problem is with many therapists they have not been where their client has! so have not suffered or experienced those intense feelings that drive us to seek therapy.  So no empathy.

Let us know how you get on.  Maybe copy those words out and have ready to hand to the next therapist ;-)

[groundhog]

Hi all,
Just an update on my quest to receive psychological support via the NHS.
The thread is entitled EMDR because that was supposed to be my panacea.  To reach that point I'd had about 7 assessments from professionals starting with primary health care and ending with psychology.  Each assessment involved me go8ng through the whole perforated bowel saga etc etc and they listened, nodded, sympathised and then invariably a letter would follow saying I'd been passed onto some other department culminating in psychology where I received EMDR and some cbt from a lady who I felt belittled me and told me to move on and if I couldn't then cbt wasn't for me.
Phew........sorry
Anyway long story shortish, I've now been discharged from psychology as they agreed cbt was too restrictive for my current needs as it seems I need time to talk about what has happened after which time I should be able to move on.  They've suggested I contact a charity run counselling service who I saw 4 years ago whilst waiting for the professionals ie the NHS. 
I am confused, speechless and thinking I'm either beyond help or don't need help.
Has anyone else had similar experience of nhs mental health services?
Please say yes.

[dangermouse]

You're not beyond help, they just don't have what you need as what they have to offer is too restrictive.

It's not right but I suspect you'll have a much better service with the charity or, if that doesn't support for long enough, then private therapy later on.

The NHS really can only offer so much and, yes you could push and make more of a fuss (apparently you have to do that now as those who are passive will be passed over to make way for those who make demands!). However, it can still be like finding a needle in a haystack even if you get referred to the Priory Group, they can tend to be very clumsy about what you need and ultimately will be more psychiatry-led (i.e. drugs) than psychotherapy-led.

[Gangan]

Hi Groundhog

I've had counselling both privately and 12 weeks through the NHS a few years ago.
 
It has been suggested that you find a local private counsellor. My advise, for what it is worth, is to find one that isn't too local. The private one i went to was in the village next to us and a bit too close as it turned out. Not easy when you see this person on other occasions.

I agree with Dangermouse that if paying someone for a while means that you can move forward it is worth it.

I think the personality of the counsellor makes a difference. I clicked more with the NHS one i went to.  She said some harsh things at times but i realise why.

Hope that you can find the right person to help you Groundhog and some peace.

Gangan