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[AgathaC]

Good morning. I'm just introducing myself. I have to say I haven't done this kind of thing before but I've found the messages on this site so helpful that I felt compelled to join in.
I'm 47 and have been perimenopausal for about 3 years. I'm a bit embarrassed to say that it took me 2 years to realise that was what it was!
My symptoms are those I can cope with and live with: very heavy periods, digestive issues, weight gain, headaches, looking and feeling not like me at all.
Then there are the ones that trouble me greatly: anxiety and sore breasts. These two often go hand in hand.
For maybe 3 out of 4 weeks I have swollen, sore, tender breasts. Hot, lumpy, uncomfortable. It radiates out to my armpits and makes me conscious of my boobs all the time! My husband (lovely supportive man) reminds me not to walk around holding them. Had them checked - examination, mammogram, ultrasound. Dr says all okay and to take starflower oil and wear bra 24/7 which I do.
But still pretty sore all the time which makes me very anxious that there is something wrong (despite medical assurances). Means that I touch and check them constantly (I've always been a bit OCD:anxious type anyway, if I'm honest)
Now the anxiety. Wow! Worrying and crying. I keep a diary to help me realise that this is cyclical and I worry that there are days when I write that I feel like I can't go on.
I hope you're not reading this thinking what a whinger or what a nutter but the anxiety is ridiculous and I'm only just coping with it. I feel quite sad that I've always been such a capable person (and I still am!) but I literally feel rubbish most of the time now.
I saw my GP a couple of times. Wonderful doctor and highly respected by me. I went with all sorts of symptoms. Doctor suggested CBT which to be fair to Doctor I did not do. On second visit (a year later) I mentioned menopause and Doctor basically said nothing wrong with me but in a nice way I must admit.
So I'm battling on and using this wonderful site to support me. I've been so bad recently that I've decided that I've got to change my life. Started a diet and an exercise plan! In the meantime, I just want to thank everyone who posts here and I'm going to do the same to try and support others.
Much love to all you lovely ladies (I'm crying as I write this and today is a good day!).
Sore boob/armpit advice and anxiety advice much appreciated. Thank you all so much.

[Toodle Pips]

Hi Agatha, please don't worry, nobody thinks you are moaning. This is a horrid thing to go through and anxiety is the absolute pits.

I too suffer from it. It's not too bad these last two days, but was hell on Monday. I downloaded the headspace app and have been meditating each morning since Tuesday and am feeling much more positive. I am not saying it's for everybody, but it is helping me. Or at least I think it is that that is helping.

Like you I have digestive problems and have gained weight. Although since cutting out coffee, tea and all things sugar, I have lost about nine pounds. I have also been taking something called silicole gel for stomach issues these past couple of days, and my stomach had definitely calmed down. It tastes disgusting but it also seems to be working.

I can easily find myself becoming nervous, about anything! And often when these feelings arise, I literally tell them to go away,  but I'm stronger language lol. If that doesn't work I use Bach's rescue remedy and or Kalms. I am determined that this menopause lark will not beat me. I will be the winner.

I am peri menopausal, age 54,and for quite some time didn't realise what it was either, so don't beat yourself up about it.

Take care of yourself x

[CLKD]

You moan as much as you like, there is usually someone around to listen   

Browse round.  Make notes.  Anxiety is the pits  I had my first panic attack aged 3.  Suffered intermittently since. Some ladies find that HRT eases those symptoms, or a combination of HRT and anti-anxiety medication helps.  Some anti-depressant medication can be useful too.

It's Trial and Error that 4 me was so tiring  .  I have 20mg Propranolol at night as well as ADs which keeps me more or less even.

Your GP might be nice but he/she is useless in giving advice!  Why they can't give an over-all view of what is available and send the Lady away to consider I really don't know.  Not many GPs realise how badly symptoms affect ladies   

[CLKD]

Or speak with a Practice Nurse?  Have a look-see at the web-site relative to your Surgery to see whether there is a GP interested in womens' problems ?

[AgathaC]

Thank you for your lovely, kind and considered replies.
I just feel so desperate that three years ago I was a slim, happy, successful mum of three running a good business and now I'm overweight, jittery, anxious, crying, irritable - think of any not very nice adjective and I'm it!
Today I've been a nightmare, feeling my sore armpits and boobs about 70 times, thinking I find lumps, asking my husband to check (I think if I were him I would have left me by now!). Then getting into a panics because I've found a lump, which he says is just part of my armpit. Now I'm sitting on the bed crying worrying I'm ab

[AgathaC]

(Pressed send too soon!)
About to die!!
I'm actually exhausting myself with all this.
I'm on holiday at the moment so I'm going to go and see my GP as you all sensibly suggested.
I suspect she will recommend CBT again and I think I will give it a go.
Thank you all again. Just off to feel worried 

[Tiddles]

Hi Agatha. Have you considered HRT ? Lots of success stories on here from women with similar symptoms which were resolved or relieved by HRT, including me x

[CLKD]

Did you have lumpy breasts anyway?

There is a specific way to examine our breasts.  Your Practice Nurse should be able to show you the correct way.

We are going to die.  Like paying Taxes, it's a given.  Most illnesses allow time to seek treatment ........

Have you put on weight?  My apron dropped over 3/4 days a few years ago so when I look down I look fat  but in actual fact, it's lack of muscle rather than weight gain.  As oestrogen levels drop so muscles may become lax ......bugga ......... The Change does what it says on the tin 

[CLKD]

.... and why would your husband leave  .  Have you printed off 'help for husbands' from here for him to read? 

[AgathaC]

Thank you all very much. It's very encouraging even to get a response.
CKLD - I've read lots of your wise words and I'm going to do what you say and make notes and decide what I want to attack first. As another of the ladies says - I must not let this beat me!
I'm going to try and keep calm about the painful and sore boobs and armpits. Stick with the starflower and maybe add in some ibuprofen.
And I'm going to be really firm in having an anxiety routine - sleeping and eating and getting outside. The latter has helped me this summer a lot. Love you all for replying - it's so nice to think you've taken time out of your day to write down things for a stranger.
Maybe a stupid question - are there such things as menopause support groups? Where you can go and talk to other women? And make friends. I've looked and can't even see any anxiety groups near where I live.

[AgathaC]

P.S. Tiddles - not considered HRT yet. Going to try everything else first. Also (although I know that research says otherwise) I still worry about the breast cancer HRT discussions.

[JaneL]

Hi Agatha, perimenopause can be quite scary because you have no referents - and contrary to some notions, hormone levels can vary very wildly, both high and low. It seems to be the rate of change that's associated with the symptoms of this time, and obviously cycles become more variable too.

The things you mentioned such as CBT/mindfulness/diet/exercise are all helpful but you do have to do them consistently and not be too impatient with obvious fixes, much as we'd all love that! I've found that sometimes the benefits of things like mindfulness can be quite subtle but important all the same. Communicating honestly with your OH is important too, and sometimes can give you great support. It's OK to feel very raw.

[CLKD]

There is a group on here near I think, Aylesbury  ........ if you put 'Aylesbury' into the search box ?

Eating little and often has been essential for me since the mid-1990s, when I had awful nausea pre-bleed.  NAPS advised me to snack, even in the night ........ I also have safe foods that convert quickly to give energy and slow release evening meals. 

[sheila99]

You're not alone failing to diagnose peri. It took me 2 years to twig and that was only from celebs talking about their symptoms. Two different GPs didn't diagnose it either (aged 56 & 57 so that should have been a clue!). My main symptoms were anxiety, insomnia and extreme tiredness but not hot flushes or irregular periods which seem to the only recognisable symptoms. I asked for hormone levels to be checked and this showed I was in peri. I have been on HRT for 5 months and the anxiety has gone. I know you don't want to try it but if, like mine, your anxiety is caused by low oestrogen the cure can only be increasing your oestrogen levels. Of course there are other causes but HRT has made such a difference to my life I'd suggest you reconsider.

[CLKD]

   sheila99