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Author Topic: Managing the tearfulness  (Read 8719 times)

mrs_bella

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Managing the tearfulness
« on: May 17, 2018, 09:13:23 PM »

Despite being on an antidepressant and HRT for my menopause, I am finding that I am constantly tearful. I cry at the drop of a hat.
I had a flat tyre the other day. Normally I would shrug this off and get on with things. Well not this time: I was like a weeping train wreck. It was so embarrassing as I was crying in front of about 10 blokes whilst my tyre was being mended. I felt like such a dill as I couldn't stop.
I am finding this whole tearfulness situation frustrating as in most incidents it's not called for. My family are use to the water works. But, I want to be able to go out in public without the tears following me.
How does one manage this?
« Last Edit: May 17, 2018, 09:16:20 PM by mrs_bella »
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Daisydot

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2018, 09:27:58 PM »

No easy answer I'm afraid Mrs Bella.all you can hope for is it's just another symptom that will pass in time.xx
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Wilks

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2018, 09:41:12 PM »

Oh, I've been like that too. I was in tears virtually every day for months, often unwarranted! I seem to have come out of that recently, no idea whether it's the hrt, the fluoxetine, the sunshine or the testosterone!
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CLKD

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2018, 09:48:19 PM »

"I've recently been bereaved" worked for me.  Adding, "Please don't B kind to me, I don't want to talk but believe in letting tears flow, Kleenex anyone?"  We don't have to justify ourselves.  We don't have to make others feel 'better'.  If Nature hadn't intended us to cry She wouldn't have given us feelings.

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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2018, 04:09:35 AM »

No easy answer I'm afraid Mrs Bella.all you can hope for is it's just another symptom that will pass in time.xx
It's a symptom alright. And boy I hope it passes soon Daisydot 🙏🏻
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:32:52 AM by mrs_bella »
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2018, 04:15:19 AM »

Oh, I've been like that too. I was in tears virtually every day for months, often unwarranted! I seem to have come out of that recently, no idea whether it's the hrt, the fluoxetine, the sunshine or the testosterone!
Golly I hope I am not like this for months. It's annoying more than anything.
That's a lot of variables Wilks. Don't change or stop any if it's worked. I might ask my GP about testosterone. Although it's only approved in one state here. I would have to get it shipped to me...a costly endeavour.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:33:57 AM by mrs_bella »
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2018, 04:23:46 AM »

"I've recently been bereaved" worked for me.  Adding, "Please don't B kind to me, I don't want to talk but believe in letting tears flow, Kleenex anyone?"  We don't have to justify ourselves.  We don't have to make others feel 'better'.  If Nature hadn't intended us to cry She wouldn't have given us feelings.
You have nailed it right there CLKD...I feel like I need to justify myself. I live in a small country town where showing emotions such as sadness, grief, distress etc is not the done thing. If you do, you are a target for the bullies. I am talking about grown women here. I tend to stay home or when I do go into town wear big sunnies so I can hide the tears. Stupid really 😬
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:35:51 AM by mrs_bella »
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Wilks

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2018, 08:17:27 AM »

Hi Mrs Bella- really sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you. I should add that I always had severe PMS that caused horrible mood swings. Plus, I didn't realise last year for some months that it was the menopause making me feel so dreadful. I thought I'd gone bonkers!
On a more optimistic note, I'm much better now!
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2018, 11:28:17 AM »

Hi Mrs Bella- really sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you. I should add that I always had severe PMS that caused horrible mood swings. Plus, I didn't realise last year for some months that it was the menopause making me feel so dreadful. I thought I'd gone bonkers!
On a more optimistic note, I'm much better now!
I thought I was going bonkers at first too Wilks. I was like this when I was pregnant. I would cry watching Kleenex tissue ads or any ad with a cute animal in it for that matter. I knew I couldn't be pregnant because I had to have a hysterectomy shortly after my second child which was about 10 years ago...so the tears were definitely not pregnancy related.
I am pleased you are much better now. That gives me some hope that this “tearful” stage is going pass. Well here's hoping 🤞🏻
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 11:34:24 AM by mrs_bella »
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CLKD

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2018, 01:19:49 PM »

HORMONES  >:(  ::).  I would sob uncontrollably the night B4 a bleed would start, even when a period wasn't due  :-\.  Now I don't cry often even if I need to, unless I watch the end of The Incredible Journey - the bit when Bodger struggles over the hill  :'(

Where on Earth do you live that people aren't sympathetic?  Maybe they know your business B4 you do  ::).  How do they bully someone?
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paisley

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2018, 06:22:21 PM »

I know how you feel. I know you don't like crying but I am the opposite & when I feel teary I just keep it in as I don't want to bother anyone. I really do think better out than in. Outwardly people think I am ok but inside I am a teary wreak. I think I have held it in so long now that I don't know how to cry properly anymore
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2018, 12:06:30 AM »

HORMONES  >:(  ::).  I would sob uncontrollably the night B4 a bleed would start, even when a period wasn't due  :-\.  Now I don't cry often even if I need to, unless I watch the end of The Incredible Journey - the bit when Bodger struggles over the hill  :'(

Where on Earth do you live that people aren't sympathetic?  Maybe they know your business B4 you do  ::).  How do they bully someone?
I live in a tiny town in Victoria, Australia.
And yes, often people know my business before I do. It's awful sometimes. Especially when the “mean girls” single out your child like they have done with mine. It really is like high school. I tend to stick to myself for these reasons. And now I am so all over the place with menopause woes, it's even more reason to lay low as I don't want my children to be effected by more gossip.
Oh sorry, they bully people by excluding them. Spreading rumours etc It really is bad. For example, I walked into my local cafe the other day and the “mean girls” were sitting in their usual spot. When I entered they all stopped talking and glared at me. While I was ordering I over heard one of them say, “Look at her dress, take a pic it's awful”. Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of them with her iPhone out snapping away. These are grown women 😡😞
« Last Edit: May 20, 2018, 09:35:56 AM by mrs_bella »
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2018, 12:15:18 AM »

I know how you feel. I know you don't like crying but I am the opposite & when I feel teary I just keep it in as I don't want to bother anyone. I really do think better out than in. Outwardly people think I am ok but inside I am a teary wreak. I think I have held it in so long now that I don't know how to cry properly anymore
Paisley I have a friend who is very similar to you. She says it's far worse to not let it out as she has become inept of displaying any emotion. When asked, “How are you today?” her response is always “Good thanks”. Yet she is screaming in pain within. The poor thing says she doesn't know when she last cried. I don't know what's worse: no tears or too many. Just goes to show we all have our struggles.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2018, 12:19:48 AM by mrs_bella »
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Daisydot

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2018, 06:53:20 AM »

Same here paisley,my husband is the only other human who sees the real me,I've been brought up in an environment where I had to be strong and be there for family even as a youngster I had to protect my mother so I didn't dare shed tears,it was a sign of weakness,now I find it difficult to cry for myself but I will cry for simple things I see or people tell me but I have no pity for me as in my mind I shouldn't as there's always someone out there worse off.I think now that's why when I crash I crash badly and isolate myself to deal with it in my own way,it's probably a safety mechanism.Mrs Bella my heart goes out to you what a nasty bunch of bullies and it's natural to say I'd rip them apart but not practical when it comes down to it,it's just something you have to deal with and hopefully they'll tire of it.its so not nice for you though witches.xx
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Wilks

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2018, 08:05:45 AM »

Mrs Bella, the “mean girls” sound dreadful. Enough to make someone tearful even without menopause issues.
What are the men like?
I was never bullied but there was so much low-level bitchiness at school. I was shocked to see that it continues into adult life, especially in “mum and baby” groups and in the school yard when you take your own kids to school.
I do have some lovely women friends but I spend most of my social time riding bikes with men.
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