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Author Topic: Newbie - advice appreciated  (Read 313 times)

joburgess

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Newbie - advice appreciated
« on: March 13, 2018, 04:43:55 PM »

Hi -
Not sure if this is the right board so apologies if not. Apologies for the rambling as well.

I'm 51 and haven't had a period for well over a year. I don't have a particularly easy health history with a serious cyst issue (60+ in each boob on one occasion) and I've had them drained 3 times now (lovely haematomas as a result  :-\ ). The last time was in 2014 which prompted a private visit to a Dr who arranged for an MRI instead of a mammogram. I am absolutely never going for a mammogram.... the pain is too bad and I ignore all Dr notes about them. I believe HRT is a no-no with this history. My mother had post-menopause breast cancer at 65 (she took HRT I believe but I'm not 100% sure).

For the last few years I have had the usual symptoms - sweats, aching, moods, etc. All in the years since I married my wonderful husband in 2014 - poor man. I took antidepressants for a while but hated them - made everything (and I mean everything) feel 'woolly'. Sex hasn't been the same since.

My sex drive has taken a HUGE tumble, mainly due to dryness/hurting but since using Vagifem, the pain isn't too bad. I guess the biggest issue is that I would really like to WANT sex again - I've only been married for 4 years and I feel far too young to not want it. This is my reason for posting really.

At my last Dr appointment I asked about testosterone and she said they only prescribe female hormones. She suggested a private clinic and my husband really wants me to go. He has offered to pay and when I found out the cost, I thought I would find out anyone's opinion on whether it was worth it. I've had a recent blood test but not got the results - they would contact me if anything looked 'wrong', whatever that means. I am also worried about osteoporosis by not having HRT.

I suspect that many, many ladies on here hate this period of our lives. It's complete sh1t. I have been reading the posts on here with interest although I haven't found any that reflect my circumstances.

Any suggestions would be very much appreciated.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2018, 04:47:26 PM by joburgess »
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CLKD

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Re: Newbie - advice appreciated
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2018, 05:03:38 PM »

 :welcomemm:

There are other ways of sexual intercourse in order to avoid penetration.  How often are you using the Vagifem?  Initially the dose was 25 I think, then it was dropped to 10, so some ladies need every night use or even to use two each night.  It's a bit Trial and Error.  It does work, some ladies find that other products: Sylc for example: helps the outer labia regions.  The idea is to keep the whole area as supple as possible.

I have ovestin prescribed which works for me.  4 me it was like razor blades up there  :o presenting as repeated urine infection-type symptoms, fortunately my GP was on the ball!

As oestrogen levels drop so the body may become dry: eyes, skin, nostrils, deep in the ears, vagina  >:(.  Also the muscles may become lax = aches and pains.  Over the counter pain relief can help.  4 me it has been itchy insteps - as I take off my socks at night and step into the bath.  Also, itchiness across the back and shoulders, like I haven't dried my skin properly but somehow, from inside.  A gentle rub from Himself really helps.

Deep in the ears  :o we call it 'spaniel ear' ........ the temptation to put something narrow in for a Very Good Scratch is over-whelming at times.

Browse round.  Make notes.  My GP suggested that using testosterone would cause my voice to lower.  Some debate this.  However, my sex drive did return.  In the mean time I had to 'lay back and think of England' as well as giving lots of time, eventually my nethers would join in  ;).  Making sure that I wasn't too tired helped.  Also enough lubricant!

You ramble away.  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use.  As is gentle exercise and a varied diet.  A little of what we fancy  ;)

You can request a bone density scan from your GP.  The best place to have it is across the pelvis and hips as this is the deepest place, I had several on my feet/ankles arranged by work.  Was advised to 'up' my diet, what ever that meant  :-\.   We cook from scratch [well DH does ;-)] most nights, lots of variation.  Beef burgers made from fresh ingredients.  We grow as much as we are able to.  Exercise - well 'must do better' !

Have the cysts been sent away to histology ever?  Do they form cyclical?
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Changes can be scarey, even when we want them!

joburgess

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Re: Newbie - advice appreciated
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2018, 05:24:25 PM »

:welcomemm:

There are other ways of sexual intercourse in order to avoid penetration.  How often are you using the Vagifem?  Initially the dose was 25 I think, then it was dropped to 10, so some ladies need every night use or even to use two each night.  It's a bit Trial and Error.  It does work, some ladies find that other products: Sylc for example: helps the outer labia regions.  The idea is to keep the whole area as supple as possible.

I have ovestin prescribed which works for me.  4 me it was like razor blades up there  :o presenting as repeated urine infection-type symptoms, fortunately my GP was on the ball!

As oestrogen levels drop so the body may become dry: eyes, skin, nostrils, deep in the ears, vagina  >:(.  Also the muscles may become lax = aches and pains.  Over the counter pain relief can help.  4 me it has been itchy insteps - as I take off my socks at night and step into the bath.  Also, itchiness across the back and shoulders, like I haven't dried my skin properly but somehow, from inside.  A gentle rub from Himself really helps.

Deep in the ears  :o we call it 'spaniel ear' ........ the temptation to put something narrow in for a Very Good Scratch is over-whelming at times.

Browse round.  Make notes.  My GP suggested that using testosterone would cause my voice to lower.  Some debate this.  However, my sex drive did return.  In the mean time I had to 'lay back and think of England' as well as giving lots of time, eventually my nethers would join in  ;).  Making sure that I wasn't too tired helped.  Also enough lubricant!

You ramble away.  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use.  As is gentle exercise and a varied diet.  A little of what we fancy  ;)

You can request a bone density scan from your GP.  The best place to have it is across the pelvis and hips as this is the deepest place, I had several on my feet/ankles arranged by work.  Was advised to 'up' my diet, what ever that meant  :-\.   We cook from scratch [well DH does ;-)] most nights, lots of variation.  Beef burgers made from fresh ingredients.  We grow as much as we are able to.  Exercise - well 'must do better' !

Have the cysts been sent away to histology ever?  Do they form cyclical?

Maybe this should be in the 'Private Matters' area?? Thanks for your response though.

I use the Vagifem twice a week (after the initial 2 week charge up). It has made a difference when we do make love but it's the DESIRE I am lacking..

Will I only get testosterone privately? I am going to look at Tibolone as I've been reading more about this today.
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CLKD

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Re: Newbie - advice appreciated
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2018, 05:28:21 PM »

My desire disappeared 7 months after our wedding  :'( and I know that was hormonal because 2/3 days prior to each bleed I would be  :bed:  :vibe: ...... but my GP at the time told me that I was depressed.  Yep. I was.  Because no one understood nor connected my lack of desire pre-period to hormones  :bang: so yep, what you experience is 'usual' at this time of Life.

Himself tells me this is 'in the mind'.  So maybe let your mind wander, no need to share your thoughts  ;). Has worked for me .........

Is the Vagifem enough at the moment?  We use other lubricants too.  Would you like this moved?
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Changes can be scarey, even when we want them!

joburgess

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Re: Newbie - advice appreciated
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2018, 05:51:03 PM »


Is the Vagifem enough at the moment?  We use other lubricants too.  Would you like this moved?

Can this be moved to 'Private Matters'? Not for me but others might object to it being here? That said, there is a mix of questions, not just about my libido (or lack of it) which I was hoping someone would comment on, e.g. the testosterone.

btw the cysts are not cyclical - they are permanent and very painful. They told me they would go after the menopause which has happened to a degree not enough for me to contemplate a mammogram.

Another question - how can you get a referral to a gynae? Do I just ask the GP?
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CLKD

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Re: Newbie - advice appreciated
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2018, 07:08:53 PM »

You can go via your GP.  Or you can ring the Dept at your local Hospital to see what the procedure is.  It's good to ask your GP so that he/she remains in the loop.

Will ask Emma to move to Private Lives
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Changes can be scarey, even when we want them!