Hi and welcome to MM HelenJ
Who told you you can't have HRT?
? There are many ladies on this forum who have fibroids - hopefully they will be along to advice.
I believe you certainly can have HRT with fibroids but it would probably be best to have a Mirena fitted to help shrink the fibroids and then have oestrogen separately as gel or patch. While in the peri stage, I would just have a low dose of oestrogen to help balance things - a lower dose would help prevent the fibroids from becoming a problem.
Sadly, herbal remedies don't really do that much - eat small highly nutritious meals regularly (avoid too much fat and sugar), get some good exercise e.g. brisk walking, dance class, yoga or pilates and learn to do some good relaxation techniques. Read up all the info on this site. Write out all the symptoms and questions and pop to your GP to ask for some help. Print off the stuff about the Mirena and ask if you can be referred to a meno clinic or gynaecologist for advice about this so you can have some oestrogen to control your flushes.
Good luck. DG x