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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 52 out now. (June 2018)

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Author Topic: So fed up!  (Read 1226 times)

LizzyD

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So fed up!
« on: October 12, 2017, 11:16:35 PM »

Hi ladies 😊

Just wondering if this is ever going to get better......I've been browsing this (great!) forum for ages and decide to plunge in join you all.
The only positive thing I can say at the moment is it is so nice to realise how many people on here I have so very many things in common with😳

I have been having incredible hot sweats for years, increasing in frequency since I was in my early 40's. (I'm now 51). The last few years they have just been horrible.  I (think) I've always been a fairly energetic, organised,  enthusiastic "on the go " sort of person... I now spend my life feeling demoralised and fed up at constantly over heating and pouring with sweat.......often for absolutely no reason! Sometimes I stay wet and sweaty for hours.  I refuse to call them simply a hot flush! That to me implies something that starts and then fades, makes you feel warm then goes away......

I have other symptoms in varying degrees - dry itchy skin, dry eyes, rushes of rage and frustration, forgetfulness, brain fog, tiredness, that horrible stomach adrenaline rush, sleeplessness, joint aches and then occasional very short bouts of my old self surfacing through the meno muddle, before I'm back to thinking I'm going mad. I actually can't organise my thoughts enough to write this....

I've seen a few different GPs (Because of working and living abroad, then being back in the uk, and changing from one male gp who I was unhappy with because I couldn't get him to believe me when I kept telling him I was NOT depressed and did NOT need an antidepressant as well as the HRT he prescribed and said would work in time..)   
Over the last few years I have tried citalopram (early days, few months to help with hot sweats before HRT). - it seemed to work for a couple of months  only.
Im now on my third type on HRT - Angelique. 2 weeks in and sweating much less and sleeping better (which helps sooooo much!) but I can't bring myself to get too excited as I've been here before.  I feel like I've spent the last few years in a mess of feeling sweaty, greasy haired, with a shiny beetroot red face AND feeling constantly drained.  I'm sick of never knowing if I'll be bleeding and for how long.  Each new hrt seems to bring a few weeks of improvement and then I sink back to the same or worse symptoms.

I just want to go out and have my makeup stay on my face (assuming I wasn't too much of a wet mess to put any on in the first place!), my clothes not be wrinkled and wet with sweat, my hair not to actually drip and to not to feel self conscious and embarrassed when people touch me. I cringe at the thought of my poor hairdresser or the beauty therapist who have to touch me or run fingers through my soaking sweaty hair😩)  I'm so jealous of people who don't seem to suffer!  And I'm incredibly exhausted at trying to act casual or unconcerned when I just want to run away and hide and cry in embarrassment.

(I have had tests and don't seem to be suffering from anything else btw - interestingly I have a close male family member who also sweats quite a lot... healthy under normal circumstances and when doing anything strenuous I know, and  whilst I would always sweat when at the gym etc I always used to not worry about it too much. But he was recently treated for prostate cancer. He's recovered now but when on hormone treatment he suffered dreadfully with hot sweats.)


So this is an incredibly long ramble.. but that's my story so far.
Wish me luck on the Angelique. 

I've just had a lovely chuckle at some of the comments on a thread about some of the stupid things people have done and attributed to "menopause brain" ...I've done so many myself it's untrue.... (our "house"  phone disappeared once, only to be discovered nicely wrapped in a freezer bag, nestled in the bottom of the freezer along with the chicken breasts I'd carefully separated and bagged after buying in bulk 😳🙄)

Anyway, that's me, permanently hot, (but sadly not always in the way my husband would wish!), sweaty, hormonal, and incredibly bonkers - but trying very hard to keep a sense of perspective!

It HAS to get better!!!

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Salad

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2017, 07:02:42 AM »

 :welcomemm: LizzyD

Sounds like you're going to fit right in  ;D


I've just had a lovely chuckle at some of the comments on a thread about some of the stupid things people have done and attributed to "menopause brain" ...I've done so many myself it's untrue.... (our "house"  phone disappeared once, only to be discovered nicely wrapped in a freezer bag, nestled in the bottom of the freezer along with the chicken breasts I'd carefully separated and bagged after buying in bulk 😳🙄)

Anyway, that's me, permanently hot, (but sadly not always in the way my husband would wish!), sweaty, hormonal, and incredibly bonkers - but trying very hard to keep a sense of perspective!

It HAS to get better!!!

It will get better - trialling different types of HRT seems to be part of the journey but it can work really well. I've tried tablet, gel, patches and now patches and gel   ;D
One of the first reasons I begged for HRT was the constant sweat pouring down my face, neck, lower back and back of knees - not a great look when you're trying to work!!

Persevere with your HRT -  it takes a while to get the dose right then just when you think you've cracked it, you have to readjust!  ::)
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Nasil41

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2017, 05:15:55 PM »

 :welcomemm:
I've just been talking to a friend today saying I would love to be able to wear make up again but it's pointless at the mo as it would just run straight off
I'm lying on bed now with window open and fan on trying to recover from a trip to shops.  My clothes were soaked and my hair looks like I've just finished an assault course not just walking round a few shops, its ridiculous ! I have to carry my spanish fan round wafting myself and have everybody looking at me. If  this continues I won't be needing a winter coat this year. I wouldn't call mine a flush either as it's constant
I've just about finished my first month of hrt but the patches are not sticking probably cos I'm melting them off
 :sweatdrop:
X
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LizzyD

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2017, 01:26:24 AM »

Salad and Nasil41,

Thanks so much for your welcome and your replies....it really does help to hear from others that I am not the only!
Dont you just want to slap friends who sit there and suddenly go slightly and rather attractively blush-pink, fan them selves, remove their cardigan.......and two minutes are back to normal!!! 😡


😂  So bitter and twisted I know!!  Just been feeling slightly unhinged by everything recently. 

But thank you for your support and  friendly words of reason... just what I needed to hear . Good luck to you on your journeys through this bonkers period (!) of life x
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CLKD

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2017, 03:38:16 PM »

As oestrogen levels drop off the body goes into over-drive!  It's The Change tha knows!  Various aches and pains plus the body getting dry, inside and out including skin and vagina  >:( add in anxiety, panic attacks, flushes ...........

With the weather being changeable right now, bodies won't know if they are flying a bike or riding a kite!
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Changes can be scarey, even when we want them!

Hurdity

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2017, 04:25:27 PM »

Hi LizzyD

 :welcomemm: and hope the HRT works for you and reduces your sweats. If not there are other types as Salad says. Lucky for me patches worked straight away so I have stuck with them ever since - or rather they have stuck to me  ;D

Hurdity x
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LizzyD

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2017, 06:20:33 PM »

Thanks CLKD and Hurdity,
I've read lots of your posts - all really interesting.

I am rather preoccupied by this forum and finding answers, or at least info, at the moment.
I feel like after years of various ailments (the hot flushes and increasingly difficult periods being what started me down this road) in the last few months everything has come to a head,  which seemed to push me into really realising how rubbish and all over the place I feel most of the time.
I am now determined to do my best to be proactive and not reactive!
As I've been trying various HRTs over the last few years (one cyclical and two conti) I'm not sure I know exactly when my periods did or would have stopped.  I realise  my up and down swings of problems so far must have been caused by my own erratically fluctuating hormones battling sporadically with the hrt I was on. 

My darling husband has been emailed the wonderful "advice to husbands" I found earlier today, and he is now looking very concerned and clearly walking on eggshells around me - obviously watching out for that flying pairing knife!😂

I'm back seeing the new very lovely gp I have moved to next week.
The threads about testosterone have been really interesting......one of my main bug bears over the last couple of years is, whilst my weight hasn't really changed I am a total different shape than I was! My muscle tone has disappeared! I feel I've gone from rather statuesque in shape to rounded and flabby and I find that really quite upsetting. 

 I also get crushingly exhausted after a busyish day (iwho am I kidding - after a few hours of activity!). Even after walk out with my walking group friends.....I am embarrassed to say I go home and have to lie down and recover when they all rush off to continue their busy days..
I've mentioned before I think,  a male relative of mine was treated for prostate cancer and part of his treatment was hormone treatment to suppress testosterone which fuelled the cancer.  He suffered from loss of muscle tone and fatigue too. And hot flushes. He and I were great company for each other over that period, it feels like we were forever meeting standing outside whatever venue we were at, usually in sub zero  temperatures, dripping with sweat and generating enough heat to thaw an iceberg whilst everyone chuckled at us through the windows!

I'm so much less hot and sweaty on this Angelique - but realistic about it being early days.  Honestly don't think I'd ever get a patch to adhere to me under normal circumstances.

But I'm definitely going to find out more and talk more about testosterone....

Thanks again for all the supporting words x
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LizzyD

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2017, 06:58:46 PM »

Me again.....I just read what I wrote and realised I'd missed out part of what I meant  to say .🙄

So...the point at which I lost my chain of thought (fancy that happening!) was about my fluctuating hormones.
I have no idea why, but I kind of just feel that I know in the last maybe two months or so something has changed.  I feel am now definitely not in peri and developing another symptom that comes and goes in massive variations with my madly uncontrolled fluctuations in hormone levels. But if that's the case might I finally be able to find an regime that actually returns me to being me? Have my ovaries finally had their last hurrah? Packed their bags and left the building?   I realise I probably just have an over active strange imagination! In your experience is this just a daft thought and will they continue to fluctuate for a long time. Or does there actually come a point where levels do stop fluctuating so wildly and then problems can be sorted by just finding the correct hrt and dose that suits and then stay on a level?

Hope that made sense! I love to hear your views

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CLKD

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2017, 02:59:22 PM »

It does make sense.  Personally I would suggest that when the body stops fluctuating you won't require HRT anyway.  Certainly I have come through the 'other side' fortunately without dreadful symptoms. 

Maybe decide which symptom you would like to ease first and keep a mood/food/symptom diary?  So that you have something to chat with the GP about?  HRT can help some ladies achieve a balance, others don't find anything that eases symptoms, Trial and Error can be so tiring  :-\
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LizzyD

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2017, 06:12:10 PM »

Oh boy! What a lovely prospect .....to be "on the other side " and a life with out all this palaver!! 

And it makes sense to pick my priority symptom to sort out - good advice

I have to manage to keep the hot sweats and constant over heating under control.  They are The symptom that just takes over my life.

I'm off to bed. Sleeping better the last couple of weeks - but still just so tired! 

Thanks Hurdity, x





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CLKD

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2017, 04:00:50 PM »

Could be hormones.  Could be lack of VitD or change of the Seasons?  Bugga ...........
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Mini1

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2017, 10:31:11 AM »

LizzyD.....I feel exactly the same as you.  I'm 53 and 3 years post menopausal .  I was coping ok but in the last 3 months random symptoms have all come together and I feel absolutely dreadful.  x
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Hurdity

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2017, 04:08:35 PM »

Personally I would suggest that when the body stops fluctuating you won't require HRT anyway.  Certainly I have come through the 'other side' fortunately without dreadful symptoms. 


Short-term HRT, is most usually taken to relieve the most obvious symptoms associated with peri-menopause - flushes, sweats, low mood, joint aches and pains etc.  Some women though, continue to get these symptoms for up to 12 years or more -  long after menopause has been passed and hormones have stopped fluctuating. However oestrogen deficiency lasts for ever and this is associated with long term health effects which may or may not affect everyone - notably bone and cardio-vascular health. Therefore many women choose to continue to take HRT irrespective of whether the obvious symptoms return or not - and this is especially important for those who have an early or premature menopause - and even in the absence of symptoms.

Those who take anti-depressants long-term for reasons other than menopause may well not experience menopausal symptoms in the same way at all - since some preparations can also prevent flushes and sweats, and therefore mask menopausal symptoms (and treat them). However these drugs do not replace oestrogen so those who experience symptoms may be more likely to consider HRT and thereby also reap the benefit of oestrogen replacement too. Sadly some women are unable to take HRT and have to try other options available.

LizzyD - I haven't read back through your posts in detail but at least when you are "through the other side" your hormones will no longer be fluctuating in the same way so eventually hormonally induced mood swings will calm down. It is much easier to deal with then because eg once you've settled onto a particular dose of HRT - well - there's nothing to stop you taking it for ever, provided your health holds up :)

Let us know how you go anyway!

Hurdity x
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CLKD

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2017, 09:23:18 PM »

Surely once hormones stop fluctuating, that is the END of menopause symptoms - certainly I've friends who no longer have symptoms and I know that I've been lucky.  What is there to cause the continuation of symptoms then, if not a levelling out of oestrogen?  I had DREADFUL PMT and heavy bloody periods which were obviously hormonal, now I've finished  :D >phew<

"Some women though, continue to get these symptoms for up to 12 years or more -  long after menopause has been passed and hormones have stopped fluctuating" ......... what exactly would be causing symptoms to continue if not hormones ...........
« Last Edit: October 19, 2017, 02:24:10 PM by CLKD »
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Hurdity

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Re: So fed up!
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2017, 07:52:40 AM »

That is incorrect CLKD. It has been well documented both anecdotally on here many times, and through a study which was also discussed on here a couple of years ago re the length of time hot flushes can last well (years) after hormonal fluctuations associated with the peri-menopausal transition have ceased. Here is a report on it from NHS webiste - but there was a lot of press publicity at the time:
https://www.nhs.uk/news/lifestyle-and-exercise/menopausal-symptoms-last-longer-than-previously-thought/

It is thought - though can never be determined for obvious reasons, that those women who take HRT and whose flushes return if/they stop (at some indeterminate time post-menopause) - may well have experienced hot flushes and sweats all the time they had been taking HRT - if they had not taken it.

As to the mechanism - who knows?!! Something upsets the vasomotor system (?) long term in some women. Not sure it's even understood fully.

As I mentioned - it is the obvious symptoms normally associated with peri-menopause which were being discussed - but oestrogen deficiency can lead to other longer term symptoms - such as you have experienced ie vaginal atrophy, and osteoporosis etc.

I hope this clarifies and is helpful?

Hurdity x

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