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Author Topic: Dilemma  (Read 1218 times)

Hezzalady67!

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Dilemma
« on: October 12, 2017, 07:57:10 PM »

Finding it hard to cope at my full time job. However, not been in it very long and I feel it will spoil my reputation if I jack it in so soon. Not sure if it's the menopause ( I am post meno.) leading me not to cope, or just the unattainable expectations being put upon me.

Feeling desperate, getting cross at work and trying not to swear at people and not to cry a lot of the time. Hardly doing anything outside work, as exhausted, so getting fat, too!

Which way will i turn? I feel the stigma of work-related stress is also worrying and hard to bounce back from, so haven't mentioned it to my manager.
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Salad

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2017, 10:29:09 PM »

It's difficult to know what to do for the best sometimes  :-\

My feeling is nothing will change unless you address it. Have you thought about what would make it more acceptable/manageable?
Then I would talk to your manager to discuss what your options are- you might be surprised and get the support you need.

 :foryou:
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Woodlands

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2017, 09:26:40 PM »

Hi there.
I found at the start of my Meno journey that I was failing at work.....nurse safeguarding children .....a big ole tough job. ...I persevered.......then divorce came....I walked out on him ....my second husband. Sadly then a few months later my eldest son took his life....boy a tough time. I stepped back re-evaluated life, my health, thinks important to me.......outcome I took early retirement at 52 ...new gov rules about taking pensions early.....and now a school matron....term time.....
My motto......look after you first and foremost or you may break but deserve better..... mindfullness to help stress.....reduce booze and caffeine...do, dump, delegate tasks and breathe....
Hope it helps
Woodlands xx
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CLKD

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2017, 03:35:52 PM »

New jobs can shake us to the core!   Do you have a Contract stating what you are expected to do?  Maybe have a word with the appropriate people and tell them that you are finding it harder than you expected and could they reassure you what your job actually should entail?  I had a job years ago that was nothing like the advert.  :bang: but I was young and green and never spoke up - got another job instead  ::).  Now I would sit down with the 'boss' and ask 'exactly what *do* you expect me to be doing each day?'

Let us know?
« Last Edit: October 23, 2017, 01:22:03 PM by CLKD »
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Changes can be scarey, even when we want them!

Hezzalady67!

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2017, 06:35:06 PM »

GP thinks I will need time out for a while after some annual leave I have already. Never been signed off before. Bit frightened of it being a one-way ticket down the road.
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peri

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2017, 07:07:17 PM »

Can you go part-time Hezzalady67.  I did a couple of years ago and it made all the difference.  It's all about work life balance and looking after yourself x
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dulciana

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2017, 08:09:37 AM »

There's no shame on having work-related stress.  The shame lies with UK workplaces in putting too much stress on employees these days.  That's the way I see it.
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Suzi Q

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2017, 12:38:37 PM »

Finding it hard to cope at my full time job. However, not been in it very long and I feel it will spoil my reputation if I jack it in so soon. Not sure if it's the menopause ( I am post meno.) leading me not to cope, or just the unattainable expectations being put upon me.

Feeling desperate, getting cross at work and trying not to swear at people and not to cry a lot of the time. Hardly doing anything outside work, as exhausted, so getting fat, too!

Which way will i turn? I feel the stigma of work-related stress is also worrying and hard to bounce back from, so haven't mentioned it to my manager.

D9nt be so hard on yourself you could simply be suffering from mild depression
Or what we used to call sadness. You dont have to tell work your medical buisness.
Maybe a trip to GP and a chat ok be k8nd to yourself 😚
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Hezzalady67!

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2017, 03:44:55 PM »

Thanks all. Am having some time out. Luckily, not down as WRS anyway.
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Hezzalady67!

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2017, 10:08:43 PM »

Just to update, My doctor has now recommended a phased return to work, but my workplace has stated they cannot support this! Not sure where to go from here.
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Justjules

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Re: Dilemma
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2017, 07:57:22 PM »

Hi Hezzalady, have your firm sent you to Occupational Health for assessment? They would do a full report on you, are not usually biased towards the firm, but will back you up if they think a phased return is the best way forward.

I sympathise fully, it's a horrible situation to be in. I ended up with no job because the stress was making me frustrated, bad tempered anafter a very good friend there stitched me up, I ended up leaving and I'm trying to find something part-time. If you need advice ACAS are very good.

Good luck. X
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