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Author Topic: Overwhelmed with fear.  (Read 15765 times)

Snoooze

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #45 on: September 12, 2017, 01:22:54 PM »

Hi Yammy,

That happens to me also. I sometimes think I never have a day when I feel well or I don't have anxiety. Going to the shops is one of my nightmares as I always seem to feel ill  or dizzy but they do say the bright lights in shops and especially supermarkets are triggers for anxiety sufferers.
My best advice is to fight it. Although it's an overwhelming feeling, don't let it win. Go to the shops and then say to it 'I beat you, you ba*stard!
Have you tried Rescue Remedy spray? I use it a lot when I go to the shops. I think it's a placebo effect but because it worked for me, I'm happy with it. It's not a cure all for anxiety but I think for me it works for short term things like going to the dreaded shops.
Things that also work for me are to get a good nights sleep (not easy in peri), eat little and often, distract myself (I am much worse when I'm alone).
It's reassuring to see the amount of fellow sufferers.
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Yammy1

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #46 on: September 12, 2017, 01:43:38 PM »

snoooze, funny you should mention rescue remedy, it's the first think i reached for in car. I have an emergency supply of Xanax but I try to keep them for REAL emergencies when I just can't cope. Do you find yourself in shops looking at   other women and thinking how come they're NORMAL and I'm a wreck. although we don't really know what others are feeling inside, after all I have become very good at masking it. we just have to cling onto hope that one day we will be NORMAL again, but for now all we can do is support each other x
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Butterfly22

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #47 on: September 12, 2017, 01:47:32 PM »

I look at others and think they are breezing around normal and I feel like I'm going to run out the shop like a freak.
I get anxiety and panic attacks which scare me to death, the panic attacks always come on really randomly like I'm sitting on my own in the house.
I get anxious going out and normally ring my other half as I'm leaving to distract me but it's hard.
I was walking into town the other day and panic just came over me xxx
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Yammy1

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #48 on: September 12, 2017, 01:52:55 PM »

Lil22 it's awful isn't it  :'(.  I feel it's not asking for too much,  just want to feel NORMAL and get on with mundane everyday tasks without getting into a panic
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Butterfly22

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #49 on: September 12, 2017, 02:05:41 PM »

I no, even the avon lady coming I get in a fluster, I was never this bad before, I booked last year to go to Barcelona with my sister it would of been Monday coming and a couple of months I had to cancel, I couldn't sleep worrying about everything and feeling anxious. Xxx
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Yammy1

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #50 on: September 12, 2017, 03:12:25 PM »

Ah Lil22 I really feel your pain. I'm just back from a few days in Spain and to say i struggled is an understatement. But we go away a few times a year in couples and I don't hide it any more if I feel panicky when away I just say it and try to get through it the best I can.The night before I was to go I told hubby he should go without me as I would just ruin holiday but be persuaded me to go and I'm glad I didn't give in to the anxiety. We are heading to Sicily next month and I'm already starting to panic but I'm determined to go and not give in. What we do is just short breaks at a time so it's a bit easier, although from the first night I'm on a countdown to getting home :-\,  but the thing is when home I'm anxious too so I just repeatedly tell myself if anything is going to happen there is nothing I can do about it weather i'm at home or not. Sounds easy and I get really angry that I feel this way and I should be looking forward to holidays not dreading them.
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CLKD

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #51 on: September 12, 2017, 03:16:29 PM »

You all need a  :bighug:   :hug:
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Butterfly22

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #52 on: September 12, 2017, 03:33:20 PM »

Ah thank you CLKD 😘
Yammy, I think if I'd gone with my other half I'd of not been as bad but I've not been abroad for five years, so was just panicking about everything!
Siclily will be amazing, Italy is on my to do list in life.
I do try and think right what's the worst that can happen etc!
I had CBT years ago for leaving the house as was worried I'd be poorly, so try to think back to what they said xxx
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Yammy1

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #53 on: September 12, 2017, 03:42:35 PM »

Your so right Lil22, I wouldn't be able to go if hubby wasn't with me, a group of female friends go to Benidorm every Mothers day, but there is no way I could go with them. besides  they are not the type to understand. You know the kind 'oh just pull yourself together' or ' you don't need hrt' or ' I never needed ads'. You know the kind that sailed through meno and think your odd or weak if your struggling. So I only go on hols if hubby is by my side
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babyjane

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #54 on: September 12, 2017, 04:02:19 PM »

To be honest I wonder how many other women look at us and wonder how we are managing so well.  but there again they probably aren't looking at us at all but just getting on with their own lives.

I do think that people pleasers are the worst affected because we never want to let others down and worry what they will think of us if we say no (I do anyway) but after 12 months psychotherapy I am getting better but it is long process that began in my childhood and got worse at the menopause,

I want to be true to myself and look after myself but I am not yet quite strong enough.  It will come, Christmas is always difficult for me, that and travelling or family events.

I find that it is best to have people in your life who 'get' you if possible.  Just knowing someone is there is a bit like a safety net.  Knowing someone has got your back really helps.
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Yammy1

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #55 on: September 12, 2017, 04:07:04 PM »

I always find Christmas a struggle too babyjane, I think it's the hype and 'not the norm', everyone rushing around and shops packed with shoppers. Both my sisters had no meno problems and although they find it hard to understand they do try. I guess all we can do is struggle on and hope there is light at the end of this meno tunnel
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babyjane

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #56 on: September 12, 2017, 04:11:25 PM »

That's it Yammy, routine is a safety net.  anything out of the ordinary takes too mych physical and emotional input, for me anyway.  I can no longer multi task.  I used to be able to juggle multiple balls but  now if I juggle 2 I drop one of them.  I can still pat my head and rub my tummy though  ;D
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Yammy1

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #57 on: September 12, 2017, 04:25:28 PM »

well at least you still have your sense of humour babyjane  ;D, have you noticed that those of us who suffer with dreaded anxiety always seem to have a sense of humour. Suppose we have to, at least for me it keeps me relatively sane  :P
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Butterfly22

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #58 on: September 12, 2017, 04:29:11 PM »

I can just see them now yam my! "Oh I don't take it you will be fine stop being silly"
Babyjane I think I'm the same, I was fine until I was 13 when hormones hit and had Endrometrosis, but a couple of years later the panic attacks started. I've never been anxious as I am until the last few years really though.
A lady I saw for counselling said I've brought my fear of endrometrosis (getting a pain when I'm out) to me having ME,
I can understand that a little as when a pain hit It was like I was in labour, once I remember being on the floor in the dinner que at school in agony xxx
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babyjane

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Re: Overwhelmed with fear.
« Reply #59 on: September 12, 2017, 04:54:19 PM »

Bless you Lil x

The consultant who diagnosed my ME said it was inevitable due to a lifetime of chronic physical and emotional stress.  My mind and body had nothing left to give.  I had all 8 points of the 8 point criteria. 

It got worse at meno and now, post meno, it has settled down again but I have to respect it or it starts to play dirty as it is now, after an over busy and stressful 3 months.
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