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Author Topic: Feel so low  (Read 2183 times)

Lanie66

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Feel so low
« on: April 09, 2016, 07:54:16 PM »

Hi everyone, I've just joined this forum, never posted on any forum before.  I've looked at some of the issues and responses and the support is amazing.  I'm hoping to join in on some of that.  I'm 49 and in the last 4 weeks have had 2 really heavy week long periods with big clots.  I googled the clots and found that to be a classic symptom of hormone imbalance so didn't worry, it was just draining.  However in the aftermath my mood has dropped so low, I realise from the hormone issue.  I have this feeling of dread and can burst into tears at any time for no reason.  Any excitement has disappeared, I am just existing.  I feel extra guilt and compassion at the slightest thing which feed my low mood and tears.  I'm grumpy too, my son is home from uni and I feel so annoyed at his untidyness and his lack of help around the house.  But I can't say anything to him about how I feel, hes a 20 yr old man who is in his own world.  I really feel if I was to be hit by a bus tomorrow all he'd miss is the money and bail outs.  My daughter is 15 and is more compassionate than her brother but at the same time I feel taken for granted.  My husband is supportive but not proactively so.   I've had some time off work over Easter but having too much time to think and dwell is not good, I've been trying to keep busy to keep my mind occupied.  As a family we've got 2 concerts in the next month and a big holiday in the summer which I couldn't be less enthralled about.   I have no interest.  Sorry I sound so pathetic, others have far worse issues but I feel so low.  Has anyone any advice please?
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Dancinggirl

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2016, 08:38:11 PM »

Hi and welcome to MM MrsH1966 - you are not alone with these feelings.  The menopause can leave us feeling totally overwhelmed and exhausted, particularly in the peri meno stage when our hormones are fluctuating and giving us such terrible highs and lows.  Do read up all the info on this site to get clued up. Perhaps see your GP armed with all the info and discuss your options. My top tips: have a good look at the diet and exercise regime, be a little selfish, be kind to yourself and don't suffer unnecessarily - the help and treatment is out there but it won't come to you, you do have to be proactive. DG x
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Lanie66

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2016, 08:55:10 PM »

Thank you DG for your post.  Exercise is a big help, I escape for a walk whenever things get on top of me.  My diet is good however probably too much wine which I know can have depressive effects.  I'll keep scanning the site for info that might help.
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Taz2

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2016, 11:05:25 PM »

Hi MrsH1966

Taz x  :welcomemm:
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ruthae

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2016, 11:12:29 PM »

Hello MrsH1966

Dancinggirl sums it up perfectly.  Best thing about this site is knowing you are not alone. I thought I was going mad for about 18mths, but now I have others to hold hands with vitually and to say rational things when I am anxious and low - it makes all the difference.  See the thread 'Advice for husbands' too.

Be kind to yourself and ask for kindness from others.

Rx
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normal is a setting on a washing machine

Lanie66

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2016, 02:53:00 PM »

Thanks ladies for the welcome and the understanding.  I've looked at the advice for husbands section, it's good, I must get mine to have a read.  its nice to know that the support is out there sometimes it's hard to actually talk to friends/family and not feel pathetic.

Today has been better following some tears earlier and keeping busy.  Back to work tomorrow and I dread showing any of this there.  Have to take it as it comes.

What's anyone else's experience of talking to the gp?  what have you got out of it?
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CLKD

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2016, 03:19:02 PM »

 :welcomemm:  It does depend on how much info the GPs have on menopause, have a look-see on the Surgery web-site to see if any have an interest in womens health, mine took an extra Degree and is au fait - he told me that I had Vaginal Atrophy  ::) and after recommended treatment, it is now under control.

Have a browse round.  Make notes.  Maybe talk to your Practice Nurse who may well be more up to date with menopause matters.  Don't let your GP fob you off with anti-depressant medication if you aren't depressed ;-).
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Changes can be scarey, even when we want them!

toffeecushion

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2016, 03:26:29 PM »

I can sympathize with you.  I am also 49 and have very similar feelings to you.  Then the guilt kicks in and I feel even worse.  I feel taken for granted and wonder if anyone would miss me if I wasn't around, then I feel awful for even thinking such things.  I am sure we are loved and appreciated, we must be, we just can't see it at times.  I wish someone would just hug me for being me, probably doesn't make sense, but I so often feel that I just exist to clean and cook.  It sounds so selfish doesn't it.

As for the heavy periods, I have those too.   I have been going about 60 days without one and then when it does arrive it lasts for 3 to 4 weeks with a week or 2 of it being very heavy with clots every time I move.  Have you had your iron levels checked?

« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 03:28:04 PM by toffeecushion »
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Mandz

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #8 on: April 10, 2016, 05:03:36 PM »

Hi Mrs h

I totally feel for you, I was in similar circumstances to you at beginning of year until finally I cracked in Feb and was signed off work ( starting back tomorrow  :o) ....my 21 year old son just treated me like I was his personal housekeeper/ cook/ taxi etc and my hubby was " oh no here we go again"..... But I really struggled and both got a shock to how bad I was and ended up stepping up to the plate!

But please please just be truthful to your gp, don't hold anything back, book a double app if possible and write things down to hand over if it's too difficult to say

You will get loads of good advice and support here and don't be shy, keep posting xx

Sending hugs
M xx
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Mary G

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2016, 06:44:02 PM »

Sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment.  I really think it would be worth your looking into HRT and it sounds like now is the right time for you to start taking it.  I really think it would make a huge difference to how you feel and I would suggest you try the Oestrogel/Utrogestan regime.  If you read threads under the "All Things Menopause" section, you will see that it's not always easy getting it out of the NHS but it is worth a try.  Give it a go, I think you would feel much better for it. 

The menopause is not just about short term symptoms, it's also about protecting yourself from the long term effects of oestrogen deprivation and all the health problems that come with it.  Have a look around the forum to get some ideas and come back to us with any questions you might have.
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Lanie66

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2016, 07:03:33 PM »

I'm overwhelmed with the support on here, ty.  Rightly or wrongly I always thought I wouldn't take hrt.  I've always thought it'd be dangerous for my health.  I'll have to do some reading and get myself more educated.  Other ladies on here talk of having their hormone levels checked, my gp told me there was no point because I am 49 and they would be fluctuating anyway as part of any cycle, perimenopause or otherwise, so wouldn't get an accurate result.  I haven't had my iron levels checked haven't had any symptoms of a deficiency.

As an aside things that have helped me today are - I downloaded an audiobook which has occupied my mind while doing some jobs,  got out for a walk and had a bath with some essential oils supposed to lift your spirits.  Although I'm an emotional person I don't like crying in front of anyone but today broke down in front of my hubby.  I felt a bit better having done that and talked about how I felt.  It was a small release
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Lanie66

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Re: Feel so low
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2016, 08:43:10 PM »

Thanks Sparkle will do.  I've identified a gp to see and will try and get an appointment with her in the next couple of weeks (they're like hens teeth she's so popular!)

x
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