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Author Topic: Does anyone else experience this?  (Read 4300 times)

CLKD

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Re: Does anyone else experience this?
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2016, 07:33:30 PM »

Bad habits can be picked up by children.  No blame to be attached but clear explanations necessary?  My anxiety does not make my OCD tendencies worse.  If I find myself hand washing more than I ought to, I make a note putting down when I should wash my hands and tick - if I find myself going to the taps more often it reminds me not to do so.

Can you share your rationale for dealing with HA?
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Changes can be scarey, even when we want them!

Halfpint

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Re: Does anyone else experience this?
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2016, 08:39:24 PM »

Bad habits can be picked up by children.  No blame to be attached but clear explanations necessary?  My anxiety does not make my OCD tendencies worse.  If I find myself hand washing more than I ought to, I make a note putting down when I should wash my hands and tick - if I find myself going to the taps more often it reminds me not to do so.

Can you share your rationale for dealing with HA?

My child started showing signs when she was 6 which then got worse when she started Secondary School which is apparently a  common trigger for OCD/Anxiety but she initially started with OCD tendencies like hand washing. I did take her to the GP and they referred her for counselling but they only saw her twice. I did wonder if they thought it was all in my head because I told them I have anxiety and didn't want her to end up like me that I started to think I was imagining it as unfortunately my daughter stayed  quiet  when they asked her questions and denied how much she was washing her hands etc! The only thing she admitted to was of being scared things were going to poison her! It was at her counselling that I learnt about the telling your anxiety to 'f off' (although they obviously didn't say 'f' to my daughter!). It was also the counsellor that advised her about writing her anxiety down and then next time going back to it and seeing that no harm had come to her. Interestingly, when my daughter is panicking I am able to calm her down and vice versa! We do help each other but I still feel a bit of guilt I have passed it onto her. There is apparently a genetic link. My father had it, my daughter, two of my nephews. My mother and a sister have OCD.

It would take me a long post to write my whole HA problems down as I have had it years. Initially, I avoided situations, cancelled appointments. I also never worked for a good many years and this became a viscious cycle as the longer I went without working, the more I panicked about how I would cope with my HA when I did  evenually return to work. I compromised by having a part time job 3 days a week. When I got the job, everyone said 'it will be good for you' and I really think it has helped with my HA. Don't get me wrong, every day I go to work I'm panicking in the morning over some health issue or other but when I get to work, the distraction of work and chatting to other people really works. I have had a few anxiety attacks at work but managed to get through them and then I feel proud of myself that I didn't give into it.

I think a big problem for me is I spent a lot of time at home especially once my children started school and my HA got worse as i was alone and panicking. I have read that distraction techniques work. Even getting up and going for a walk or doing some housework. I've also learnt that been tired makes my HA worse. Eating junk food seems to make it worse! Letting myself go too long without eating makes it worse. I only drink two small cups of coffee a day as caffeine seems to trigger my HA. I also don't drink alcohol.

I have learnt to rationalise my HA but it's not easy. I do google a lot! I hate myself for doing it. Sometimes I type my symptom into google and hit enter then I close my eyes quickly as I'm frightened what will pop up as you can bet your bottom dollar that the first thing will be cancer related!

I spent a long time keeping my HA secret from friends and even family. I found that when I got up the courage to tell anyone they would laugh and say 'you're around the twist' or words to that effect. This of course didn't help matters! My husband is not  very understanding of it. In fact, thinking about it, I rarely tell people I suffer from it.

I struggle with my anxiety constantly but since going back to work and getting through each working day, I do think it has helped me as I feel now that I am beating it rather than it constantly winning. I think keeping busy is a key thing. Sitting and dwelling does not help at all. I do use the breathing exercises of 4 breaths in and 7 out. I also talk to myself saying 'stop being stupid, there's nothing wrong with you'! I think the keeping of the diary really helps as sometimes, I laugh when I see a symptom that I think is a new one but I had it ages ago and nothing happened to me. One particular symptom I get I worked out the other day that I have been having that one for 16 years!! Things like that help.


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dangermouse

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Re: Does anyone else experience this?
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2016, 09:35:39 PM »

With OCD it's best to focus on the obsession and rationalise it but keep your compulsions in place as they are what you have subconsciously created to protect you / your family. Distraction will only deepen the obsession and blow it more out of proportion. Look at what your biggest fear is and then rationalise a) how likely it is to happen and b) how bad it would actually be in reality.

Our imaginations are powerful and get us believing all sorts of negatives when the likelihood of all sorts of positives is just as likely! Yes, you may die but equally you may live. All you can do is be rational about your health and get the necessary checks if symptoms persist. If you believe you're going to miss something and die then you are going to feel extreme fear as if you literally have a knife to your throat (something non OCD/phobics dont realise when they innocently tease!). Start to accept the impossibility of catching every little neuron that's out of place and let it go. Doing the impossible is impossible so be kinder to yourself and just work on coping with whatever happens. It's a skill but will relinquish you of all this unnecessary responsibility and all the anguish that comes with it.

Then you will no longer have a need for the compulsions that have been your crutch.

Enjoy the challenge!
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51, perimenobloodypausal.

Halfpint

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Re: Does anyone else experience this?
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2016, 10:22:39 PM »

Thank you Dangermouse. Interesting fact, I haven't had another attack today since reading this forum!

Sparkle, yes I've had it since childhood. Back then I had rituals and obsessions and never health anxiety. I spent most of my childhood scared of death or family members dying. Teenage years I think things improved slightly. 20's I obsessed over ridiculous things and 30's and once kids came along the health anxiety kicked in and has never left. Out of interest, finally experienced losing a family member in my early 40's and didn't have an attack for months afterwards but of course it came back like it always does!

Years ago I read that if you think the worst of every situation subconsciously you are thinking it then won't happen as you had imagined it. Unfortunately, I imagined something was going to happen and it did so of course that ruined my way of dealing with things by thinking if I thought it, it won't happen!

The mind is very powerful. So glad I joined this forum. Like my job has been good for me I think talking about my anxiety will help as I rarely talk about it even with family or close friends as they do make me feel like an idiot! Thank you everyone.
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trish61

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Re: Does anyone else experience this?
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2016, 11:21:12 PM »

I too am exactly the same, I have always been a "good and loving" person, but at the moment I am really nasty, and take everything to heart, a simple comment, that 6 months ago I would have laughed at, I cant now, everything seems so personal,  and it is very hard having two sons with whom I have always had a great relationship, and we have always had lots of banter  (their words not mine),  I have tried to explain my "feelings"  "situation"?? to them both,  and although they are trying to be patient, that question look in their eyes really hurts ...
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Halfpint

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Re: Does anyone else experience this?
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2016, 09:10:50 AM »

I too am exactly the same, I have always been a "good and loving" person, but at the moment I am really nasty, and take everything to heart, a simple comment, that 6 months ago I would have laughed at, I cant now, everything seems so personal,  and it is very hard having two sons with whom I have always had a great relationship, and we have always had lots of banter  (their words not mine),  I have tried to explain my "feelings"  "situation"?? to them both,  and although they are trying to be patient, that question look in their eyes really hurts ...

I liken it to permanent PMT with my moods but this new thing of  taking everything to heart is making me feel like a different person. I also have 2 sons but they're younger but one of them is going through puberty, so he's quite moody and over sensitive  himself! I agree it's harder for men to understand (not sure how old your sons are?) but maybe you can print something out about menopause for them to read and help explain it?
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