Found this and it made me smile
1. Kidnappers are not interested in you.
2. It is harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick
3. If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt your health.
4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
5. Your supply of brain cells is down to a manageable size.
6. Your eyes won't get much worse.
7. adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
8. Things you buy now won't wear out.
9. No one expects you to run into a burning building or anywhere else
10. Your joints are more accurate at predicting weather than the Weather man.
11. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
12. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
13. People call at 9:00 PM and ask "Did I wake you?"
14. There is nothing left to earn the hard way.
15. You can eat dinner at 4:00 pm
16. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
17. You enjoy about hearing about other peoples operations.
18. You can get into heated arguments about pension plans.
19. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
20. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
21. You quit holding your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
22. You sing along with elevator music.
23. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
24. Aging is such a nice change from being young.
25. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
26. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
27. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
28. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
29. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
30. You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
31. You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.
32. You're getting old when you wake up with that morning after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
33. You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.
34. The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
Honeybun
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