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[36 not out]

Hello World.
I am officially in the menopause and am 46.  I started the menopause at 36.  I am not on HRT as family history of strokes etc. It wasn't too bad to start with but am getting quite down.
My biggest problem is VA.  I have zero sex drive and severe discomfort most of the time.  I was using vagifem which was a help, but it had a two year limit. Now using sylk for lubrication, but we have only managed successful intercourse three times in the last twelve months. I try to be interested for my lovely hubby (married autumn 2013) but hand jobs and blow jobs are tedious when you are not intersted and he knows i do it just for him.  Our relationship is amazing but i am so fed up.  I used to have a high sex drive, but no more.  I would say that i haven't felt like sex (or sexy) once in the last 11 months.  Weight is also part of the sexiness issue. I am steadily putting it on, predominantly round my middle  it isn't just round, but now droopy.  I stood on the scales today and i have jumped to just over 13 1/2 stone.  (5' 8" size 14/16) i actually disgust myself but am in a whole and don't know how to get out. I also fear that my innards are heading south as they are very close to my vagina lips, so trying pelvic floor exercises to see if that helps.   
I really thought things would get better, but they haven't. I want my old self back!
P.s. have old sports injuries, so can't excercise easily, which sucks too....

[Jenna]

I suffer from VA and use 'Yes' water-based vaginal moisturiser on the 5 days I can't use the Estriol cream (as you used Vagifem). I have also used the moisturiser alone when I could not use the oestrogen cream - I find it really keeps me comfortable, so that would be my suggestion if you cannot use vaginal HRT. If you have a look at their website, you will see that it has helped many people with our problem and is recommended by many professionals. It is also available on prescription - my GP did prescribe Sylk at first, but that irritated me.

I hope this might help you!

[Taz2]

Hi 36 not out - welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for advice and support.

Although you have a family history of strokes this shouldn't automatically prevent you from being prescribed HRT especially as you are under the usual menopause age of 50/51 and so the normal risks don't apply because you are just replacing what should have naturally been yours for a few more years. You can have special blood tests done to see if you are affected by any of the clotting factors which can predispose you to stroke. I had this done a while ago via my GP.

As for Vagifem having a two-year limit - I'm not sure who told you this but it quite simply isn't true. You can take Vagifem without a break so I'd go back to your GP and ask for the prescription to be re-instated. Although lubricants such as Sylk can help they are no match for oestrogen products which as you know plump up the vaginal tissue. How long is it since your last period and what other menopause symptoms do you have?

Lastly do you mean you fear you have a prolapse if things are nearer the vaginal lips? It is important that you get a proper examination to check if this is the case. Although pelvic floor exercises can prevent things from getting worse you do need a referral to a gynae to check what has slipped south and whether there is anything else you can do. Again vaginal oestrogen will help to strengthen the vaginal tissues. I have recently had surgery for prolapse so I know a little about it.

I can't say whether HRT would improve your libido but lots of things can impact on that and just the fact that you  might begin to feel better and that sex would be less uncomfortable may work wonders.

Hope this helps.

Taz x