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[Linsey44]

Hi Milimam, dont know much about PCOS but as far as diet and exercise goes you need to stay firm with your daughter.  Women i work with have been known to come into work with the routers, games consoles etc in their cars just so the kids cant sit all day on them.

We drew up a contract with our daughter and she basically had to earn enough hours game time/ computer / tv time. We told her its a privilege not an automatic right.  Hers was to coax her into doing her maths work but we were very clear she had the choice.

She could choose to do maths in exchange for game time etc or she could chose not to do any maths and forgo her games time etc.

She grumbled that its wasnt fair but to be honest there are times to cuddle our kids and other times we must be their parent and do whats right for their health and wellbeing whether they like it or not.

Hopefully diet and excercise will just become part of her daily routine.

Good luck

[CLKD]

Good Advice!  How much exercise does she have access to in School?  Is there a dance class locally or Zumba - somewhere that she can be 'parent free' but where she can bop away ……. cycling, skipping, swimming ……… - I expect that she will be very aware of her 'looks' so lots of cuddles, encouragement etc. will be important.  Time to sit her down and find out how she feels over-all?  is the computer games her way of shutting off what is happening, for what I remember at age 12 I had NO idea about hormones - my 1st period was the August before I turned 12 in Dec.; it was very confusing and a complete blur to me now.

[Milamam]

Oh, she has always been a very stubborn child, and I have learned that I cannot win with force, it has to be in some other way. She does have  a limit on the computer time, but when the limit expires for the day, she either reads or plays piano and that is. No interest whatsoever to go out, do things or go out with friends. No calling friends at all. In fact she has only one truly good friend from school and that is it! I have tried everything over the years but I see now in the past year she has become more closed in herself, she doesn't want to talk feelings or to "еmotionalize". I attribute this to the age and also character, everyone is different. The only thing that she does with great pleasure is cycling with her Dad afterwork or on weekends. During school, she does go to sports 4 nights/week. So I am more concerned about just general disinterest in anything, and low moods/grumpiness than the computer etc. When school starts she doesn't have time for the computer so things should get better.

I wish puberty can explain all this....otherwise she is bright and all excellent in school so I have no worries there, never had. She learned to read at 4 , excels in maths and goes regularly to math competitions, likes to read and write, etc. Likes piano, too. So getting school stuff done has never been a problem and she doesn't need motivation to do what's needed.

Oh well, moan finished, thank you for listening and understaning!

[CLKD]

Is she 'too' bright?  Does she have a boredom threshold which is satisfied by the computer?  MENSA might have advice. 

[Milamam]

Yes, CLKD, you hit it right. She is brighter than her peers which is great but an emotional burden for her - this is how I explain things to myself. At 8 she has read all the Harry Potters, at 10 she read all 7 books in English ( not native ). She has always been interested in abstract and complicated things. Favorite gifts - a great book or encyclopedia. There is MENSA here in Bulgaria but not much developed. I have contacted them previously but didn't work out.

I've signed her for a science camp in October. This is something she is really looking forward to.

So I am wondering whether PCOS is contributing to her low moods and disinterest , the teenage tome, or just being different than her peers. Luckily her friend in school is just like her. It was fun watching them together this summer - she stayed with us for a week - both click together in an instant and understand each other with no words.

[CLKD]

Have you contacted MENSA in the UK?  Maybe she has a combination of all the issues which must be confusing.  How is her general mood?