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Author Topic: What's the best thing your partner has done to help you through the menopause?  (Read 346264 times)

Ladybt28

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ahh but lovers count too! Some "lucky" women can be menopausal and have a lover (although I might get shot down in flames on here for that?) ..they need to be considerate like anyone else you meet?  My husband is my lover, albeit much less than he used to be poor man!
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CLKD

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  • changes can be scary, even when we want them

DH is my Lover  :-*
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Dancing Queen

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I want a lover...found one unfortunately he couldnt hack it..get all my emotional support from my female best friend . Sadly we dont fancy each other lol. But would like male company too for drinks laughs and a  bit of the other!😄 omg I sound like a dating website!
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Conolly

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Hello Dancing Queen,

 ;D Have you ever talked to him about it? Maybe he would fancy it too?  ;D Having lived for 20 years with a man and not knowing him at all, I can tell you that you NEVER know...

Conollly X
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Dancing Queen

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Hi Rik yes theres an idea a dating site for menopausal women who have useless partners and dont fancy being lesbians...It would be a smash hit. I can imagine my profile..."A bit wrinkly and saggy but everything still works' 😅
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Dancing Queen

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Why did I call you Rik Jaypo? Must add Slightly Demented to my dating profile! 😄
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Ladybt28

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Maybe its a Freudian slip Dancingqueen- maybe that's the name of your lover in another dimension, or another life or one you are going to pick up on a dating site.

I was told by a tarot card reader that I was going to meet a man and fall in love within 6 months and that his star sign was Leo.  I was flirting with a gemini at the time and said I didn't know any Leo's.  Within a couple of months I had met my second husband and he is a Leo!  Maybe the stars have a man named Rik lined up in your future?
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Dancing Queen

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I don`t care what he`s called as long as he is male! Would love to be a lesbian as women are so much easier to get along with than men but unfortunately I prefer the real thing to strap ons and as for touching boobs....uurgh   :o
Oh yeah I like them quite hairy too  ;D
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Dancing Queen

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That`s lovely Jaypo glad you re-found him again. I deffo wouldn`t want the one I had when I was 18 back again although we are still in touch via facebook but NO WAY!  ;)
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Rosepetal73

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I have been married for 25 years and we have two adult children.  My husband insisted I give up work and take a break when my anxiety was at it's peak  :-* He is kind and generous and helps me to analyse things I am afraid of (mainly relating to health anxiety and scary statistics). He struggled when I had really bad PND after our first child (we both did) but he seems to be trying more with the peri  :)  Mostly I love him but there are times when I can't stand to be in the same room but that's my hormones!  ::)
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Binks

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On 28 th December , 3 weeks before I was 51, I came home to find my husband gone . Refuses to see or speak to me in any capacity . That was the extent of his support during menopause
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Mushyjam49

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My husband calls me "goddess" and says he worships me!  He tells me he loves me every day.  (fingers down throat everyone!!!:sick02:)  He loves to cook so he does all that.  He will iron shirts and trousers when asked. He often runs me a bath with bubbles and candles "just because"!  and sometimes buys flowers from Tesco when he's out..."just because he knows I like them".  I can be exactly who I am around him - like mushyjam49 - that would be "challenging" to say the least! Bearing in mind we work together in our business in a tiny office, so we are together 24/7, I would say he has the patience of a saint!   I think the best thing that has helped is that he has been very understanding and caring about the changes in our sex life and how I feel about my body. Loss of libido has really confused me.  I don't think about sex but I know I should, I don't often want it and that upsets me...and I am worried about how he feels...it has been the most conflicting bit of the change for me.  We discuss everything and I mean everything about our lives which when you have challenges has to make it better, right? He never seems to judge me.
We laugh at some point every day even when I am in the depths of depression (which is/has been often since we met) he can usually raise at least one smile.  If I am having a really bad day he says "go have a lie down, I'll hold the fort" or "put your shoes on, we're going for a drive".  Obviously we can do this because we work for ourselves.  People think we are a bit weird because we are always together.

As far as he is concerned I am pretty smug because I have a totally wonderful husband! - he does drive me mad occasionally but there are no real gripes, although when he has had his moments they are spectacularly bad!  We have been married 19 years in May and it is a second marriage for both of us...looks like we got it right second time round. Reading this, it sounds amazing - well it hasn't always been, he has a disassociative personality disorder which reared it's head often in the first 8 years of our marriage but only 3 times in the last 10 and our lives have been filled with illness and a lot of dead relatives.  I suppose my meno isn't that bad against all that.  I would be totally lost without him.

Where can you find these species?? I have looked in Tesco and Morrisons but they don't seem to stock them at all!!!!  ;D ;D ;D

Sounds like a definite keeper to me  ;) ;)
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Cacarosa

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My partner is so very caring and attemptive but I still haven't told him I'm perimenopausal. I have not been myself since I had a massive hemorrhage and not feeling good at the time (very weak and tired, even when dizziness has stopped fortunately). He has been wonderful to me through this.
I don't know how to break the news to him since I've always lacked self confidence and we've been together for only 4 years and I still feel like this is a new relationship and it makes me nervous. I know he had a post menopausal partner before me but she was stunningly beautiful, blonde, nordic and exotic, had blue eyes and gigantic boobs and looked my age even when she was 12 year older than me. I've never been a looker in my life, not even when I was young. I'm a weird nerd with homely looks, no boobs, no social habilities and an unhealthy love for Star Trek and all things nerdy. So I'm not confident enough to tell him. I guess I'll wait until I stop having menses in a few years from now. I hope Qlaira will make me grow boobs since some ladies here said it can happen :)

And I hope BCP and then HRT will delay my physical decay

My previous partner of 20 years was abusive, cheating and a big piece of s#** so I guess I'm fortunate my first hot flashes arrived just two weeks ago and not when I still was with him.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2019, 12:32:02 PM by Cacarosa »
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jaycee

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Cacarosa/ i am sure your partner will understand, he must know that women go through this change,
You could explain that if you don't feel on top form that you are ging through the menopause, and if you seem a bit not your usual self that is why,
I often wonder if women do actually say anything to their partners, or wait until it is mentioed about being a bit grumpy etc
I don't have a partner now so i don't know how i would deal with it,
I think bringing it into conversation, would be better than them wondering what the heck is up
If you say his previous partner was so gorgeous and you lack confidence ,why? he must love you, and see qualities in you that he didn't find in her,and yes boobs do get bigger, mine are much bigger than they were once,even though i wasn't flat chested, they continue to grow, and i don't want them to grow anymore, as i am only small, just under 5ft,or i will end up top heavy,
I think the HRT has something to do with it maybe, but you don't see many flat chested older women do you?
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Cacarosa

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Thanks a lot, Jaycee for your lovely words

Well for the time being I think my partner doesn't need me to give him a reason for my tiredness and moodiness since it was him who took me to ER and has seen me hemorrhaging and in pain so I think it doesn't hurt if by the moment I leave him blame it on the anemia and the new BCP... think I need more time to process I'm peri myself since I had my first hot flashes only two weeks ago and never before had thought I could be entering menopause. I may be 46 but in my mind I've always been 8 years old :)

Yes, there are many older flat women. My mum for example is 70 had 4 girls and is flatter than me XD not even lactating had boobs but well she looks at the bright side of it, she says that other women her age have boobs so hanging that they can use them as scarfs but her two little spots stay in place :)

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