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Author Topic: What's the best thing your partner has done to help you through the menopause?  (Read 346203 times)

Mushyjam49

  • Guest

My Husband is not one for being spontaneous at all and usually expects me to take the lead!!! Since I have started going through the menopause he has become more accepting of my how shall I say "challenging personalities" lol.  He knows when to make an exit when he senses I am going into meltdown and turn into someone who has tourettes syndrome.... yes I could make any nun blush with the verbal I come out with sometimes and for him to try to help me talk it out just makes me more angry, so he has cottoned on pretty quickly.  But little things he does, I know he is trying his best to understand what it is I am going through.  For example when the hot flashes started.  He took himself off and purchased around 6 mini fans, strategically placed them all around the house so at the touch of the switch I could have instant relief... he also went and bought fine mist sprays, even smaller handbag typed ones so I could spritz when the need arose...  He takes over when he can see that the hot flushes are imminent and I am in the throws of doing something, without fuss even though I can be pretty crabby.... how dare he take the reins..... but he is getting better.... ;)
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Tiddles

  • Guest

Sometimes he goes out.
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AngsanaBlossom

  • Guest

My partner is being great at the moment. I think he gets that I am going through a really hard time and it is now that I realise the strength of the commitment we made to each other 20 year ago. When the chips are down, he is there for me.

He bought me a lovely present for my birthday and spent quite a lot of money on it. He said I deserved it and never ask for anything for myself.

I think the menopause is the worst thing that has ever happened to me but out of this has come the surprise that after 25 years together, my husband does really care for me like he did when we first met. I hope that when he needs me, I can be there for him in the same way.
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Dancing Queen

  • Guest

Absolutely buggerall.  :-\
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Joaniepat

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  • Posts: 1743

Cheer up Dancing Queen, you won't be the only one, that's for sure!
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CLKD

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  • Posts: 73977
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them

Give him a  :kick: but what else does he do?  Can't be all bad  :-\
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Dancing Queen

  • Guest

He does the washing and the ironing and lets me do what I like! Suits me! 😁
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CLKD

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  • Posts: 73977
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them

Sounds my kind of Guy  :D
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Dancing Queen

  • Guest

Yeah but you might need a few laughs and sex occasionally! Washing and ironing doesnt quite fill the excitement bucket 😉
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CLKD

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  • Posts: 73977
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them

 :D ........ what's ironing, remind me  ;)
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Ladybt28

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  • Posts: 1422

My husband calls me "goddess" and says he worships me!  He tells me he loves me every day.  (fingers down throat everyone!!!:sick02:)  He loves to cook so he does all that.  He will iron shirts and trousers when asked. He often runs me a bath with bubbles and candles "just because"!  and sometimes buys flowers from Tesco when he's out..."just because he knows I like them".  I can be exactly who I am around him - like mushyjam49 - that would be "challenging" to say the least! Bearing in mind we work together in our business in a tiny office, so we are together 24/7, I would say he has the patience of a saint!   I think the best thing that has helped is that he has been very understanding and caring about the changes in our sex life and how I feel about my body. Loss of libido has really confused me.  I don't think about sex but I know I should, I don't often want it and that upsets me...and I am worried about how he feels...it has been the most conflicting bit of the change for me.  We discuss everything and I mean everything about our lives which when you have challenges has to make it better, right? He never seems to judge me.
We laugh at some point every day even when I am in the depths of depression (which is/has been often since we met) he can usually raise at least one smile.  If I am having a really bad day he says "go have a lie down, I'll hold the fort" or "put your shoes on, we're going for a drive".  Obviously we can do this because we work for ourselves.  People think we are a bit weird because we are always together.

As far as he is concerned I am pretty smug because I have a totally wonderful husband! - he does drive me mad occasionally but there are no real gripes, although when he has had his moments they are spectacularly bad!  We have been married 19 years in May and it is a second marriage for both of us...looks like we got it right second time round. Reading this, it sounds amazing - well it hasn't always been, he has a disassociative personality disorder which reared it's head often in the first 8 years of our marriage but only 3 times in the last 10 and our lives have been filled with illness and a lot of dead relatives.  I suppose my meno isn't that bad against all that.  I would be totally lost without him.
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Conolly

  • Guest

Hello Ladybt,

What a wonderful husband! Fancy a swap?  ;D

Conolly X

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Ladybt28

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Not in a million years Conolly!  I was going to say that when he was "poorly with his episodes" gladly.. but actually thinking about it, I didn't leave then when I could have so no...  I cant imagine my life without him and it is actually my worst nightmare to even contemplate something like that, I don't know how I would cope.  What about you Connolly?  Partners, husband..?  Can't remember...?
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CLKD

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  • Posts: 73977
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them

You take time to appreciate each other.  That is also respectful.  We are pretty similar  ;)
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Conolly

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Not in a million years Conolly!  I was going to say that when he was "poorly with his episodes" gladly.. but actually thinking about it, I didn't leave then when I could have so no...  I cant imagine my life without him and it is actually my worst nightmare to even contemplate something like that, I don't know how I would cope.  What about you Connolly?  Partners, husband..?  Can't remember...?

Nope, unfortunately only lovers  ;D

Treasure all moments with your lovely husband, Ladybt  :-*

Conolly X


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