I want isolate from everyone+shut myself in home+can be as unhappy as I want, instead of
putting on a happy face mask as I go to work/shops. Pension age no longer 60 which I now am,
must wait another 6 years to retire. Can't take HRT as had pre cancer in breast twice+possible mastectomy
due. MORBID thoughts from my past +others misfortunes enter my thoughts all day .I'm scared to
get in the works vehicle(.I don't drive )I've known too many people lost some1 on roads.
I've known too many lost some1 to cancer. Several neighbours around this estate have died
within last 10 years+almost all were younger than me.19 year ago daughter murdered,dumped,found after
5 weeks. Traumatic childhood with fear,abuse,domestic violence. Partner gets on my nerves,although
he's kind, I keep imagining living alone +just my son visiting me. Becoming a hermit,ordering online
shopping, I can't tolerate happy people, crowds, noise ,my friends that have all their children safe+well.
I'm pulling away from those friends. My mood swings at times ,I need to keep away from people.
Antidepressants were prescribed last year ,not tried yet. Theyr full of chemicals, aren't they? Suppose
I binge drink too much 1 time, the effects of Anti will be lessened. But I don't drink everyday. Am I heading for
a breakdown? I only started meno in march, 1 whole year without period aged 60.