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[Scampi]

I have so much admiration for those of you who cope day-to-day with real depression.  I'm going through the mill at the moment (my dad is terminally ill and deteriorting daily, my mum has uncontrolled Parkinsons and struggles to move unaided, so I worry how she will cope once Dad is no longer around, and I have a chronic auto-immune disorder which causes pain and inflammation, made worse by stress, of course!) and some of my friends have said I should talk to my GP for some help to 'get through' - but I don't want ADs as I KNOW I'm not depressed - I'm just sad.  Deeply and sometimes debilitatingly sad, but not depressed.  No amount of 'chemical rebalancing' is going to change the fact my wonderful Dad is dying, and until I've crossed that bridge I will be sad 

[CLKD]

Do you need to get the various agencies in place now, so that you can hand over a certain amount of responsibility whilst you go through the grieving process?  Have a word with the Parkinsons' Society etc., Macmillan also have a good web-site for advice.  That way you can deal with your feelings without being pressurised into coping with your Mum. 

[changesbabe]

Aw scampi my heart goes out to you. It is so difficult to watch someone you love disappear before your eyes. I nursed my father in law for a year and a half whilst still working. I supported my hubby and kids through their grieving process whilst finding a place fir my own. My gp was adamant I was depressed but no I did not believe it. How else are you meant to feel at a time like this? To me my feelings were how they should have been given what I was coping with. When he died I wanted signed off work for a month just to gather myself again. My gp said 'will I put depressed on your sick line?' I was furious at him and basically said 'can you not put bereaved because that is what I am!'

Take care of yourself whilst you get through this difficult time. Keep posting so you can get some support for yourself. Xxxx

[Scampi]

There's quite a lot of agencies involved already - Social Services, our local hospice (who are wonderful), district nurses, Parkinsons' nurse ... I think Mum will cope once all the stress and grief is over and she's had chance to sort herself out - they live in a bunglow with complete level access and a full wet-room, so she can actually manage at home quite well.  But at the moment she's struggling, and I do worry about her social life once she is on her own - Mum and Dad have always done things together, Dad was the driver and many of their friends live some distance away.  I'm sure it will all settle down and sort itself out, but for now I worry.

Thank you so much for your kind words H&S - you have no idea how much of a help it is to hear someone else express EXACTLY how I feel.  I'm not depressed - I'm grieving (eventhough Dad is still with us).  It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

[Suzi Q]

Big hugs to everyone who has or is suffering from depression
Or who has a family member or pal
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Val.M]

CLKD - I think neurosis or neurotic depression is a depression where the sufferer still remains in touch with the "real world" but with a "psychotic depression" they don't and lose touch with reality.

Strangely enough, when I had PND, I thought I was seriously ill - not mentally but physically and looking back it was a close call as to whether it was classified as psychotic or neurotic. (I never actually did find out!  Maybe that's a good thing...)  I've never felt like that again but I have been depressed since that time - the PND was a different kettle of fish altogether though

Scampi - you have an awful lot on your plate at the moment and no doubt it means you are very busy going here, there and everywhere and trying to cope with everyday life.  Please remember to look after yourself as well as your mum and dad - I know that's not an easy task though.  It wasn't so long ago that I was in a very similar position to you and I know it's hard, very hard.  Thinking of you and sending lots of cyber hugs.

Valxx

[CLKD]

Post Natal Depression is caused by hormones  and psychosis is one aspect of how it manifests itself.  Once the hormones settle so does the PND. 

'neurotic' is a new label I hadn't heard before.  Neurotic to me is something completely different to depressive symptoms.

I think I've sorted out why I was so scared the other night: I can't find my spare pair of reading glasses nor some special photos and don't dare look where they out to be in case they are not there    .......... the photos are usually with me 24/7 but I've put them down somewhere and now that I have no re-call facility, I can't remember when I last had them.

[CLKD]

This was my journey and other comments from way back in 2011

[CLKD]

 

[honeybun]

Are things any better CLKD .


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

Thank you for asking.

"physical manifestation of a chemical imbalance ……. "

If Members read the whole of this thread they will see what I stated earlier.  Depression can be a organic, i.e. chemical imbalance as well as being clinical, due to a person not being able to alter where they are today; usually related to relationships, job situations, caring for others …. they become depression due to not being able to get out of the situation.

Organic depression is due to chemical imbalance.  I don't get the 'physical manifestation' or the thought that one can 'talk oneself out of depression'.  If it were that 'easy' then Psychologists and Psychiatrists, my sister and her husband, friends - would all be out of a job as would pharmaceutical companies …..

If I take my maintenance dose of Anti-depressant then I remain well.  If my brain becomes low for more than 4/5 days I up the evening dose for a week.  My GP is OK with this regime.  I NEVER want to feel as ill as I did in 1991.  Unable to get out of bed.  Unable to walk, when moving around the house I crawled.  I NEVER want to be so afraid that I begged for admission to Hospital to keep me safe: my DH was told to give me more Valium.  It did work.  But I wanted health professionals to take the responsibility from him and for me to be where what I was experiencing was 'within normal limits'. 

[CLKD]

GRL states in a response to a comment in the other thread, that she wouldn't consider 'thinking herself worse' …….. why would anyone?  One wouldn't want to think menopause symptoms worse so why any other medical condition  .  In fact I don't think that one can 'think' oneself worse.  When well I consider several times a day how I am feeling with regards depressive mood changes as well as how anxious I am ……. the anxiety hits in the gut below the belly button.  Mood drop can happen within moments …….. and I immediately consciously think 'oh not again'.  Then I have to sort out my medication as appropriate.

When very depressed I didn't recognise the signs.  Now I am more aware because I have been well ……. and feeling well means I am not as scared that I will never get well.

[honeybun]

So if not better then recognisable and manageable.

Would you say that anxiety is more of an issue for you now. The depression being well controlled but anxiety being variable.


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

Yep.  I have always been anxious.  My 1st panic attack was at age 3.  I was raised in a dysfunctional household so reacted from early on ……… so my reactions are engrained = CBT absolutely useless  - however, intermittent talking therapy for 2/3 years about my childhood helped enormously. Vent, vent, vent without someone telling me 'that can't have happened because …… '

[GypsyRoseLee]

Ah, found you 

Back when I had PND my depression was caused by hormonal imbalances to begin with. I knew before I had left hospital with my baby that something was very wrong. This chemical/hormonal imbalance was therefore organic. But I think it then also developed into clinical depression caused by my situation, having to take care of a baby 24/7 when I was already really struggling with the organic depression.

Definitely the worst time of my life.

When I saw my consultant she explained that my peri menopausal depression was essentially the PND all over again, caused by the same hormonal/chemical imbalances in my brain. Except this time I just didn't have a baby to care for.

But I did have a challenging job + young children to care for + a husband who often works away for days at a time etc.