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[CLKD]

Rather than hi-jack the positive thinking thread 

When I was depressed I couldn't move.  Once out of bed I sat.  Deeply depressed.  I think it was a survival strategy.  I couldn't eat, drink, think, focus, concentrate.  I couldn't spend time in the bath, in wash and out.  Fear was prehensile: fear that I would feel worse, fear that I would never recover, fear that I would never feel a little bit better, fear that I would never eat again ...........

My Dad was depressed.  I used to tell him 'let's go for a walk, let's look at the TV, let's read together' never understanding nor realising how impossible it was for him at that time. 

Susan wrote in the other thread: "It isn't really that depression causes selfishness, so much as to those looking at the depressed from the outside it tends to manifest itself as totally selfish behaviour ......... "    it's a really good statement 

[CLKD]

Yes - I believe that many chronic illnesses are inhereted which is why I fought against taking ADs for so long. I wanted someone in the medical profession to be bothered enough to find out *why* I was suffering ....... at first low grade clinical depression followed by full-on organic depression.  My paternal Grandad was an alcoholic gambler in his youth, his youngest son had manic depression; my sister has terrible temper tantrums and I had to learn how to control my anger.  I now recongise when my brain needs extra support and up my medication accordingly. 

[Taz2]

I agree that depression can be inherited and also that anxiety can also be an inherited condition. I hid my anxiety from all of my three sons and two are fine but one of them, who is the one most like me in all sorts of ways, has suffered with dreadful anxiety for the past ten years. He had no idea that I had felt like him until I talked to him about it in an effort to help him through his own panic stricken days.

Taz x

[Dyan]

CLDK,

I can totally relate to everything you said in your post.
I have OCD and this wasn't diagnosed until 7yrs ago when I was at my worst
ever.I was being treated for depression and anxiety for years,from when I was 15,
I'm now 50.When I was diagnosed with OCD my psychiatrist told me that side effects of OCD is depression & anxiety.
I can remember as far back to when I was 8 when I use to have these obsessions
from time to time.My childhood had a lot of anxiety caused by my mother,
who I  don't see anymore,but that's another story.
I was brought up in a very insecure home all mother related.
My psychiatrist said that because I didn't get the love & security from my mother
when I was growing up OCD crept in due to low serotonin levels in the brain.
I have been taking 80mg Prozac now for 7 years for my OCD and had a year of CBT
To learn how to manage it.So far so good.I will always have OCD and it does rear it's ugly head when I'm stressed but the med & therapy keeps me on track and I haven't looked back.
I will be on Prozac indefinitely because my brain needs it.

Lots love Dyan X

[Stella_al]

CLKD,

I've added a bit to the other thread.

As I said, I didnt mean to upset anyone, just quoting my therapist and my own personal experience.

Sorry if you think I was being rude 

Personally I think mental illness is such an awful thing, but people's attitudes to it is horrific 

I wouldnt wish it on my worstest enemy, and get infuriated when people at work havent a clue and either:
a. Say "so and so should pull themselves together"
or
b. Have a bit of a bad day and start spouting " I'm sooooooooo depressed".

Although I was a lucky one and managed to come out the other side relatively unscathed compared to some poor people (BTW its taught me some strengths I never thought I had ), I have seen both my husband (BTW BIG genetic link from his mother's severe mental illness) and best friend suffer terribly.......and the feeling of impotency to see someone you love, being so ill, is just 

Goodness knows how awful it is to be suffering it 

Wishing anyone who is suffering 

[CLKD]

I can relate to how annoying (b) is  I feel like shaking someone who mutters how 'fed up' they are 

You didn't upset me, the written word is static and views can sometimes seem non-flexible I am often guilty of not checking that what I type makes any sense other than to myself  .

I know that Himself had to take my medication to work and return at lunchtime so that I took the next dose because I didn't dare have anything in the house that might be 'dangerous'.  He never asked me why I told him to take it out of the house ........ I think he was scared of what I might say!

[CLKD]

Here it is - for Mitra so as not to hi-jack another thread

[valiantkate]

just about had enough now- so desperately fed up- son in debt to his eyes, new headteacher bullying the older staff, need some hugs but dont need this any more. dont care.well i do but ...................................................

[CLKD]

All things shall pass.  How about contacting the Board of Governers for advice?  New broom sweeps clean  and people don't like change but bullying is unacceptable.  Maybe you should all tell the new Head that there is a non-bullying policy in the School which applies across the board?

As for your son being in debt., send him to the CAB for advice!

[valiantkate]

thank you xxxxxx

[Donna1]

I'll add another hug for you Valiantkate. I'm a teacher too and know that bullying can be found in staff as well as pupils! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and be kind to yourself.

Re depression - my Mum has suffered off and on all her life and now that I'm experiencing meno I'm getting a small taste of what she has had to cope with all these years and I'm humbled. Also ashamed for my impatience.

Donna
 

[CLKD]

Yep when I think about how I suggested to Dad that we 'should exercise' when he was sitting crying ...... oh the innocence of youth ...... when I was depressed I couldn't move leave alone exercise! 

[charliegirl]

Hi all, can totally relate to this thread. Am suffering with terrible anxiety/depression at the moment and if anyone said cut off your leg and you will have peace i would willingly do it!! I do believe you inherit you nervous system and sensitivity to some extent as my mother was like that,  i spend hours wondering why other people can cope with life and i struggle so much. At present I am living alone and struggling, although its not the aloneness but my insecurity thats the problem. Can anyone relate to that???

[CLKD]

Why do we always feel that others are coping?  Maybe they have ways of masking their feelings in public but at home ......... ?

What insecurities do you have right now?

[viv]

A face for out and a face for in.

You are so right CLKD.

I often look around me in shops at women of my age (ish) and wonder how some of them manage to look so together. Maybe they are and just maybe they feel like me on the inside only hide it better.

Hope you feel better soon Charlie Girl. This is a very hard time of life.

 

Honeyb
x