Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: Kathleen on November 27, 2020, 10:42:18 AM
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Hello ladies.
Can I ask how you all plan to manage family gatherings at Christmas?
Our daughter, her partner and our son will be staying with us over the Christmas period and I am worried about how we will all stay safe. For example do we distance within the home constantly, use separate towels, hand sanitise all the time and keep opening the windows for ventilation?
Any advice would be most welcome.
Take care everyone.
K.
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If you do all that Kathleen, you will drive yourself nuts. It won't make for a very happy Christmas.
We will be two households over Christmas, with my eldest son and partner stay Christmas night. We will do as we always do.
How many people have houses big enough to social distance indoors.
Just enjoy yourselves. Life is not risk free anyway.
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We were quite excited to think of us all being together but now it seems foolhardy. The advice is very clear that Christmas can't be normal this year. Visits kept to a minimum. Guests encouraged to bring their own cutlery etc if there is food. One person only to prepare cook and serve the meals. No serving dishes, gravy boats etc. Windows open both up and downstairs. Separate hand towels for each guest. Frequent sanitising of surfaces...the list goes on and on. Here we are all rethinking our plan to get together as it is too risky? We wouldn't do it this week or last week so what will have changed? :-\
Taz x
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I think it would be different if there wasn't a vaccine coming in the next few months. The only way to keep completely safe is if anyone coming has been isolating for the previous 2 weeks. Or is it possible to get a rapid test privately that a visitor could do on Xmas morning? Personally I don't see the point in taking the risk when you can do it safely in a few months time. We all have a different attitude to risk but for me I might take a risk with my own life but not someone else's.
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Hello ladies.
Can I ask how you all plan to manage family gatherings at Christmas?
Our daughter, her partner and our son will be staying with us over the Christmas period and I am worried about how we will all stay safe. For example do we distance within the home constantly, use separate towels, hand sanitise all the time and keep opening the windows for ventilation?
Any advice would be most welcome.
Take care everyone.
K.
I am also deciding what to do. We usually meet at my brother's. He has a large and spacious house so no problem with distancing but there would be 3 households together (my younger brother plus wife and 2 children, my elderly Dad and myself). My other brother has already said that he won't come down to London from Leeds which is in tier 3.
If I don't join the rest of them (all live in London suburbs) , I will be alone for Christmas. Nick (my younger brother) has invited me and doesn't see a problem because we wouldn't be breaking the Christmas rules.
Also it is perfectly possible that this could be my Dad's last Christmas. He is nearly 86 and not in very good health.
I am arguing with myself over it.
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Katejo, perhaps you should ask your Dad what he wants and base your decision on that.
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Katejo, perhaps you should ask your Dad what he wants and base your decision on that.
I could (but without suggesting that this could possibly be his last Christmas) . He isn't really a great fan of Christmas (ever since my Mum died on Dec 28th 1992) but he does like to see us.
At least I will get a proper bed if I stay over on Christmas Eve. Normally my brother is there and I get a mattress on the floor in the tiny bedroom. It isn't comfortable at all.
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Katejo, perhaps you should ask your Dad what he wants and base your decision on that.
I could (but without suggesting that this could possibly be his last Christmas) . He isn't really a great fan of Christmas (ever since my Mum died on Dec 28th 1992) but he does like to see us.
At least I will get a proper bed if I stay over on Christmas Eve. Normally my brother is there and I get a mattress on the floor in the tiny bedroom. It isn't comfortable at all.
If it's only going to be for the one night that doesn't sound so bad. If the rates where you are all living are favourable at Christmas, the risk is even lower. You can't eliminate all risk unfortunately.
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Hello again ladies.
Taz2 can I ask where you found all the advice that you listed?
Both my children want to visit and seem pretty calm about it, perhaps because they are young they are unafraid. They have also been out in the world more than we have so they have become more relaxed about the threat generally I suppose.
Sometimes I feel confident that we will manage and at other times I wish Christmas had been cancelled altogether this year!
Many thanks ladies for your comments.
Take care everyone.
K.
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Katejo, perhaps you should ask your Dad what he wants and base your decision on that.
I could (but without suggesting that this could possibly be his last Christmas) . He isn't really a great fan of Christmas (ever since my Mum died on Dec 28th 1992) but he does like to see us.
At least I will get a proper bed if I stay over on Christmas Eve. Normally my brother is there and I get a mattress on the floor in the tiny bedroom. It isn't comfortable at all.
If it's only going to be for the one night that doesn't sound so bad. If the rates where you are all living are favourable at Christmas, the risk is even lower. You can't eliminate all risk unfortunately.
2 nights not 1 (Christmas Eve and Christmas Day due to no public transport).
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Hello again ladies.
Both my children live a long way from us and when they visit it is always for several days., popping round for the day isn't an option.
My daughter was due to go to her in laws this year but her FIL has a lung condition and has been shielding, instead they want to stay with us.
We are both 64 and although not especially vulnerable my husband does have a heart problem.
I want to see my children as I love them dearly but I am worried about how we will all keep safe.
Needless to say all this worry is not doing my anxiety any good lol!
Wishing you well ladies.
K.
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Hello again ladies.
Both my children live a long way from us and when they visit it is always for several days., popping round for the day isn't an option.
My daughter was due to go to her in laws this year but her FIL has a lung condition and has been shielding, instead they want to stay with us.
We are both 64 and although not especially vulnerable my husband does have a heart problem.
I want to see my children as I love them dearly but I am worried about how we will all keep safe.
Needless to say all this worry is not doing my anxiety any good lol!
Wishing you well ladies.
K.
I have just had a chat with my Dad. He insists he doesn't mind staying on his own and seems quite concerned about the risk of exposure to his 2 grandsons who are school age (1 primary and 1 secondary).
I can see why you are unsure Kathleen.
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We all live near each other in our family anyway and see each other often so no one travelling or distant relatives. Just me at my daughters for Christmas dinner so five of us, in the afternoon my ex husband, his wife and my ex mum in law will pop round for about an hour. My other daughter, hubby and the baby some time inn the afternoon for a few hours. No one stays over and festivities are just for the one day, not five. We'll wash our hands and not do any hugging..haven't hugged my own daughters since March..but won't be sitting with windows open or using seperate towels.
I've been torn all through covid between not wanting to take risks and waiting for better times but also not having time to waste as I dont know how many more Christmases I've got.
Oh Teresa :bighug:
That's what I've been trying to say really. We none of us know how much time we have. Life is for living.
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I think you do what feels right for you and your family - keeping within the guidelines. :)
We’re going to our son and his girlfriend, but we’ve all decided to self-isolate before we meet up. I am on the shielding list.
I think the private tests would be great, but not sure of the costs.
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Kathleen, given your husbands age and underlying medical condition surely he is at higher risk of dying if he gets it? I understand the need to see your children though.
I wasn't looking forwards to the first Xmas we spent without visitors but actually I enjoyed it. It was stress free - no need for the house to be sparkling, didn't matter that turkey wasn't in the oven at 6am, got up in jimjams, watched what we wanted on TV (no queen's speech) etc. I don't think anyone should be on there own unless they choose to be but there are worse things than a visitor free Xmas. In the next few months the vulnerable will be vaccinated and normal life can resume.
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Hello again ladies.
Due to COVID I was expecting a visitor free Christmas this year so the possible change of plans has thrown me.
It certainly is a difficult problem for some of us and I will continue to fret about it no doubt!
Thank you for your comments ladies and take care.
K.
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We normally just have Christmas at home, me, hubby & our 2 sons, and we love it that way, they live at home with us. But this year I feel my mum & dad will be on their own, my sister, who doesn't live nearby, is going to her sons house even further away and I said to her that I felt bad mum & dad could be on their own. I'm not very close to my parents but I do feel bad if their on their own. My hubby has been shielding but he hasn't had his immunotherapy for a while now so hopefully shouldn't be as vulnerable, mum has cancer. I work but tbh don't mix with anyone, I'm on my own dept and have my breaks separately, my hubbys at home, 1 son working from home & my other son going to work and mixing with people. I really don't know what to do as my son has to work with others. I hate all this >:(
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Speak to your parents? They may be absolutely fine on their own. Don't assume ;-)
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I know, they are on their own all the time so I thought it might just seem like another day to them. I'm speaking to mum on Wednesday so will talk to her about it. We are quite happy just the 4 of us but indo feel bad if they are hoping for an invite, they would never ask. They have been to mums sister's before and vice versa so maybe thats what they doing.
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Open the conversation with something along the lines of "How do you feel about C.mas this year, with the risk of 'flu and C-19, have you any plans? " ;). no good everyone thinking the others will pose the question ::)
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Hello ladies.
Can I ask how you all plan to manage family gatherings at Christmas?
Our daughter, her partner and our son will be staying with us over the Christmas period and I am worried about how we will all stay safe. For example do we distance within the home constantly, use separate towels, hand sanitise all the time and keep opening the windows for ventilation?
Any advice would be most welcome.
Take care everyone.
K.
I have told my family that regrettably Christmas will have to wait. I'd rather see them alive and well next year to be honest.
Let's face it, Christmas could potentially be one big superspreader event. Why risk it for a few days? We've come this far, vaccines are on the horizon, we can keep going I think ;)
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Christmas is cancelled for me. My eldest daughter has to work Christmas week, as she is an essential worker, and we were going to do our Christmas the Saturday before. Now we cant because it doesn't fall within the 5 days. I cant even see her outdoors as she is in a tier 3. We were not going to have a big thing, just me and my partner, my mum and my two girls.
2020, the gift that keeps on giving
Jeepers xx
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Oh that's a shame Jeepers.
You will have to have a big party when this is all over.
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Hello ladies.
Can I ask how you all plan to manage family gatherings at Christmas?
Our daughter, her partner and our son will be staying with us over the Christmas period and I am worried about how we will all stay safe. For example do we distance within the home constantly, use separate towels, hand sanitise all the time and keep opening the windows for ventilation?
Any advice would be most welcome.
Take care everyone.
K.
Hi Kathleen
Our grown-up children ( + one spouse) in 20's and 30's are all very concerned that they keep us safe especially as husband is over 70 ( though fit and well). Rather than all come down on 23rd - which I agree is an absurd idea - they are coming down in stages. We are lucky that we have separate self-contained accommodation so we will still be three households.
So one son is coming down on 11th (from Tier 3 area) and will isolate in the accommodation and work from home there until Xmas. Another son has had Covid and is "bursting with antibodies" ( to quote a well-known politican!). I paid for them to have the antibody test - and is coming down on 18th or 19th but should be no risk to us. Another offspring and spouse are coming on 23rd and will have isolated since 15th, will isolate in the accommodation (separate from other son!) and will hopefully be OK by 25th. They thought they had had it - ill in early April when friends etc had it but are negative for antibodies. They will all stay until past new year as once they are here and have isolated and are in our bubble there is nor risk.
I think 10 days is probably sufficient isolation. They may also pay for the antigen test I think.
To me that is far more sensible than all turning up on 23rd and having a free for all.
As it is, even though I am in a support bubble with a close elderly relative living on their own, because that person is seeing other family members over the 5 days, me and my family won't be able to meet up with them indoors, because that would involve more mixing outside the three ( even though support bubbles are one).
It's all very complicated but you have to do what's right and safe for your own family - we are just fortunate to have space to keep safe and still enjoy Christmas together.
Jeepers I don't see why you cannot do what you planned to do on the day that is outside the 5 days, given the circumstances, and if you are then not getting together on the five days? It's a question of risk. I wonder if there is also guidance on this? Lots of questions have been asked at various points on the media so I bet this one has been answered?
Hurdity x