Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: Tc on April 10, 2020, 01:05:32 PM
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Hiya ladies. This is all fast becoming an OCD sufferers nightmare isnt it?
A few years back I had months of intensive therapy for OCD of which contamination was a big factor. It was ruining my life.
But there are so many triggers now and the old OCD switch is flicking.
I've realised I'm tipping into rituals which are becoming more protracted and complicated.
Just one example is the handwashing. Counting (another element of my OCD) while washing hands is getting longer each day. . I'm up to 2 minutes now. I'm washing more and more frequently even if I havent been out and yesterday I started drying hands and then repeating the washing again straight away. It's a slippery slope. I know from experience next step is repeating it 3 times, then 4 and so on until I can't move away from the sink.
I'm not talking here of how the growing list of decontamination rules is anxiety provoking for most people.
I'm talking about the ingrained tendency with OCD to rituals which get longer and longer more and more involved. The repetition of things you have only just done, the starting again from scratch if you perceive an "interuption". All that stuff that switches in the brain with OCD.
I'm in recovery. I'm not "cured". It's been an ongoing battle and i still had a few remaining rituals but by being aware of when I'm "tipping over" and then using the tools I learned in therapy I have mostly managed to keep on the manageable side of it. Til now.
How do we cope when most of those tools are now not relevant. Much of it involved refraining. Which is impossible to do now if we are to follow the important rules.
Any thoughts or ideas ladies on how we can keep to the rules keeping us safe whilst avoiding our OCD from spiralling?
Might help if we share any tips or support for those of us with OCD.
Much love and stay safe xxxx
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Can U sing?
Apparently 2 verses of 3 blind mice? whilst washing. If I find myself over washing I have a tick sheet - so that the times that I need to cleanse I tick off, if it's not at the 'correct' time, I walk away. Knowing that my list works lessens any anxiety around hand washing.
I've never been into counting but my brain is flitting around all the while .......... :-\. I'm used to it I suppose but I do talk in my sleep which shows up that trait.
Also: consider how likely you really are to get any virus that might be doing the rounds? I fear vomiting so if anyone coughs, goes quiet, turns pale :: I'm OFF - deeply afraid. Yet around the house I'm not in any way clean ::). A cheetah wouldn't keep up with me!
Have you tried putting on gloves, i.e. light cotton ones, at least you won't make your hands sore!
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Tc.... I fully understand because I've been there ....and its crept up on me again and I'm washing my hands and singing the full lyrics of "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor...last chorus twice...I've heard a lot of people have it now....OCD has never felt so normal!
Seriously....it's horrible and driving me mad BUT ... I'm just too emotionally tired to fight it .....once it has a hold on me I have to fight like hell to get rid of it...and therein lies the crux of it because you and you alone have to get rid of it.....so difficult. I wish I could share some tips but I don't have any...I also have some other strange rituals which I won't say what they are ...but I know it's all this anxiety causing them..... just know it's not just you... we will all end up nervous wrecks before this is over.
One thing I have started to do though, so here is a tip......watch Joe Wicks excercise on YouTube for 10 minutes...it's not too difficult ( I do the one for seniors ... it's gentle)... It really does help first thing in the morning then again mid afternoon.
xxx
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Oh yes, I'm sure you already know this but OCD is a stress reaction as the rituals make you feel in control of something when other areas of your life are out of control. This pandemic is most certainly going to trigger it.
I made the mistake of watching a cleaning program last night and terrified myself about all the cleaning needed with covid, where to put everything, how to self isolate!!!!
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I posted and it hasn't shown. Just the say there is a really interesting podcast with Liz Earle and Dr Lewis which mentions OCD and hormones.
https://lizearlewellbeing.com/menopause-and-anxiety-with-dr-rebecca-lewis/ (https://lizearlewellbeing.com/menopause-and-anxiety-with-dr-rebecca-lewis/)
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Joe Wikes is too early for me ::)
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At least we know were not alone in this ladies. Thanks for the tips. I will check out joe wicks. i have heard of him.
I originally started off singing happy birthday twice but then got anxious that I might be doing it too fast so I did it twice more, .even faster cos I was anxious. So I thought I'd better then do the count as well. What a numpty :)
I might try the list CLKD. I think I remember doing a similar thing in therapy. The trouble is with lists I find I cant stop checking them. Sounds like a bad joke but it's true.
I have managed to dial back the increasingly scorching hot water to a more comfortable temperature. My hands were glowing red. So, its Small victories ladies.
Much love to all. We will get through this. And talking about it helps I hope. Xxxx
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I think most humans like routine? to the point that we are unable to relax as we were designed to: up the lark and all that. So this is such a different life style that our body rebels.
So although routine is OK it's when we are aware that it begins to take over that we need to reinvent the wheel to suit how we feel?
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I am concerned about this getting out of hand.
I have worked relentlessly with some clients to get them over their OCDs and this situation is providing a lot of perceived rationality for what was, previously, irrational.
I have found that the cleaning OCDs are inherently about protecting your family (and/or yourself) from a perceived threat that is either based on previous trauma or imagined threat. It is a way to gain back control of something you feel out of control with.
In order to keep the Covid rituals, we are being repeatedly told to adopt, from going beyond what is inline with the situation, it is important to, every day, focus on what is behind the messages. Hearing several times a day that if we do not adhere to every rule 100% of the time that the virus could kill us, is there to scare us into acting. However, please focus on the use of may, can, could, might etc. which are not absolute and certain like will and would.
By adopting an 80/20 mindset, thus most of the time, will protect you and your families, and its important to know that this is enough. The warnings are extreme to try to get those who do not follow the rules to see the seriousness of what could happen.
Don't watch the news all day, maybe once a day around 10am when your stress levels are low. Rationalise everything you hear, watch for those coulds and mights. It is so important to absorb the truth and not any exaggeration. Yes, it's a more extreme situation but there is an end to it, and you can cope without relying on excessive rituals which are based on a lie that your brain (subconscious) has misinterpreted.
When you feel the urge to repeat a normal hand wash, stop, pause, repeat to yourself, 'this is enough?, and continue with your day. The more you repeat this the quicker it will become your new habit
Hope that helps!
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:thankyou:
Brilliant post. Great advice and so well put.
Thank you danger mouse xx
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Glad it helped and, honestly, the simplest instructions really can help the most complex issues!
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Very true dangermouse. X
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I have said for years that the media needs to tone down responses to events. OK so hype sells but this is not hype, this is a real World wide pandemic.
So far Tc you haven't symptoms? I've had a low grade headache and felt every tired for 3-4 days so stopped the B.Blocka last night - headache gone thus far. I haven't had a temp., cough is as normal for me, no dizziness or nausea and unusually for me, I am eating :o ::)
As long as I don't get dizzy due to not taking the B.Blocka I will ease my way into the day. Make that list!?!
:thankyou: dangermouse
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Thanks Dangermouse xx
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I do feel stickier than usual ......... could it be the cream cakes etc. ? :-\ that's my Quality of Life excuse anyway ;)
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Haven't followed the forum for a couple of weeks or so, but just had a read & wanted to say great post Dangermouse. Thankfully I don't have OCD, but that advice sounds excellent. Stay safe everyone.
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:thankyou:
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Hi TC
I can totally relate. I've started another thread about cleaning, because I am driving myself insane constantly cleaning, feeling like I haven't done it properly and doing it again...
Washing my hands until they are red raw, then I might touch the kettle so I have to go and do it again... Wondering if I did actually song two verses , so doing it again.
Freaking out (inwardly) if anyone in my house touches anything, and having to disinfect it.
Wanting to follow my nephew when he goes out for a walk in case he touches anything or talks to anyone...(I feel ashamed)
I've joined an OCD forum, I'm sure I won't be the only one.
I also feel ashamed that I am getting depressed, when people are really suffering.
Jeepers xx
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Dangermouse
Your post is spot on. I have so many rules, and that feeling of control otlr lack of it, is so strong.
I constantly scour the news, as if I don't I might miss something, and therefore put myself in danger by not realising that there are other rules.
Years ago, when it was in the news about bacon being carcinogenic, I used to get panic attacks if I even walked past bacon in the shops. I know that sounds stupid and laughable, but unfortunately it's true.
Anyway, it was a new rule for me, no more bacon.
Jeepers xx
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I understand completely jeeps.
It's as though my mind is so suggestible. I saw a,film about an acid attack and I developed a phobia about anything which might give a chemical burn or that I might accidentally ingest. . Even everyday things like batteries, When I was young I saw a film about a guy who got badly burned on the belgrano in Falklands. And i developed a phobia of fire. This still persists to this day but not as bad as it was.
The thing I find myself completely unable to explain is at its worst I thought I had burned myself when I hadnt. I would constantly say to my partner "does my face look burnt". It's so hard to explain how I couldnt logically know and had to get reassurance. Of course she would say "does it look burnt, does it feel burnt" no then it isnt burnt. " this could happen several times a day. It wore her down. . It's like there is the thought which is "id hate to get burnt" and then somehow and my brain says "you are burnt". The logical part knew I wasnt but it was overshadowed by this,other part which would say ",you dont remember it happening but it did" "why cant you see it in the mirror?" "Why cant you feel it" and you think your own brain and body are lying to you.
Does this make sense what I'm saying. It realy does sound crazy to me when I say it out loud
I remember a, family friend when I was a kid who thought she had run someone over every time she drove. She would say,to everyone "did I just run that man over" time and again through the journey. and once indoors keep repeating "are you sure I didnt run anyone over" "she stopped driving in the end.
The constant reassurance seeking at one point i just felt so compulsed to do it I just couldnt hold it in. I did tackle it in therapy. That "thoughts arent facts" . That i had to not say it everytime i wanted to. I did reduce it. I would ask once for every 20 times I wanted to. And tbh although the burning isnt such an issue now other things are. If I get rid of one obsessive issue another takes its place.
Xx
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Hi TC
I don't think you are crazy. Well, if you are , then so am I. I think about things in the past, and just believe that the action of thinking about them will bring about some harm.
I spend hours looking for answers to questions, and then don't believe the answer if they don't fit with my current fear. It's like I want to punish myself. I seek reassurance, but then reject it.
Did therapy help? I found CBT was a bit useful, I might do that again.
It's interesting ( but sad too) about your friend who thinks they have run people over. I have recurring dreams that I have killed someone or more than one, and buried them in the garden. When I wake up I am convinced it's true, and there is a part of me that thinks I have killed someone and it's a repressed memory coming out in my dreams.
Hope you are doing well today TC.. sending love
Jeepers xx
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I witnessed an accident in the 1980s and have wondered since if I caused it to happen .......... [long story short :-\]. I have no memory of why happened in front of me but I do remember parking up and grabbing the blankets from our car which the Fireman guarded the driver's face whilst he used a cutting machine :-\
Not OCD but wondering ...........
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I had OCD as a teenager, though it didn't have a name then. Just seen as a symptom of depression. Hand washing was and still is one of the symptoms. At the age of 17, I made a decision to stop fighting it, but to accommodate it and build a good life around it, plus telling friends what was wrong and why I took so long in the loo. Many of the symptoms fell away, but the hand washing persists, which doesn't help the eczema on my hands. I have wondered how OCD sufferers were coping. I have found checking with people I trust whether I need to do things actually helps. Being given instructions how to wash my hands correctly and understanding the science of using soap and water has actually helped me reduce the time I wash my hands! I wondered if wiping shopping that has been delivered was OTT, but DH reassured me it was sensible. Perhaps I don't trust myself.
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If DH is supportive, it's a back up?