Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Focus on January 16, 2019, 05:07:51 AM
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Hello
Some of you might remember I was here a couple of months or so ago.
I had a huge, very full on chunk of work for 5 weeks over December. It was super exhausting and stressful, but I made it.
The start of this job coincided with me starting to take Loestrin 20. It worked really well controlling the previously increasingly out of control, very protracted, super heavy bleeding (big clots and flooding) I had been having. My cycle had just started to become much shorter as well: 8 day very heavy period, one week period free, another 8 days very heavy period.
The stress of it all leading up to that point, and the stress of trying to deal with my GP, meant I got ill pretty much right of the start of this job. I only had 4 days off in December on this job (including Christmas Day and the 1 January), and so didn't get a chance to get better. I've only just started to feel better now.
I had a bit of bleeding mid pill for a couple of days after I started taking the pill at the start of December, but nothing too stressful for me. When I had the pill free week, I had PMT type cramps for a day and a light 'period' for a couple of days. All good. My eating went back to normal after a the restricting, trying to deal with the stress of what had happened and to gain some sort of sense of control over something.
Second month on this pill currently. I had another mid pill bleed. This time accompanied by quite a bit of sensitivity in my breasts beforehand. The mid pill bleed has been very strange: longer, and maybe light, then medium with a coupe of tiny, tiny clots, then very, very light for a couple of days, then much heavier (flooding at night, accompanied by night sweats and had to clean my floor as well. I also have a little PMT type cramps).
I have one more pill to take before my pill free week. But I have a serious chunk of work to do for a few days coming up and I am absolutely terrified. When my periods were really, really bad in the run up to me starting the Loestrin 20 at the start of December, I couldn't go for more than 45 minutes or so without changing. And I'd be flooding too. I have to go away for this work coming up which means travel. And I have to stay away for a few days. Plus I have to look smart for the whole day. And be confident.
How do I cope with this? It's starting totally affect my mental heath, really, really badly again.
Funnily enough, my body feels OK - apart from the bleeding. But my mental health? Worse than I've ever felt in my life (and I've not had an easy life, by any means). How long? How long does this **** go on for? It's going to start impacting on my income if it carries on (I'm self employed, so no sick pay if I don't/can't work).
Please someone, make this all stop.
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I really believed that everyone around me knew I was having a period. Which didn't help my over-all feelings. I had heavy, clotty periods for years, I remember moving one day and feeling the blood leaving my body and I was stationary for ages 'in case' :-\
I think it's time to 'fess up to someone at work. Is the job really worth it? Mental health must be protected where possible. Is there someone to whom you could delegate ?
:bighug:
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Hello
Thank you for your reply :)
I'm self employed and it's a trade show for my business I'm going to. I book a space and take my work there, and speak to potential customers. I do two of these shows, both twice a year. One in the city where I live, and one in the nearest city to me.
I have other self employed, very irregular streams of income: a few zero hours jobs that I sometimes work only a handful of hours per month, sometimes a couple of days. I work for different employers with constantly changing pools of other zero hours workers.
Then I get one or two longer contracts a year for different businesses, of maybe one or two full time weeks a year, maybe a month. I'm sometimes working away from home, sometimes staying in one place, sometimes touring, sometimes working indoors, sometimes out of doors.
If I'm not there, earning money, in one of these capacities, then I'm not getting paid. There is no sick pay. There is nobody to delegate to.
I tried finding a regular job (9.00-5.00) for years, and couldn't. I'm very highly qualified (PhD) and I think I've been written off for lots of jobs I applied for because of this, because people felt I was over qualified.
So I became self employed in 2004. And that's how I've been earning my living since then, working on all the different things that I enjoy doing most in life.
I developed PTSD in 2007, and being self employed, in the way I am, meant that nobody I was working with ever found out - which I was very, very relieved about. I'm extremely private.
I'm sorry to be so negative. I don't have the kind of life most people have. This is one of the things that is stressing me out. I absolutely love my life and the work I do. It's taken me since 2004 to get to this point in my working life, and I don't want it to be affected by all of this.
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Decided to start restricting again.
I can't cope with all this body stuff that's happening. It's just doing whatever the heck it wants to do whenever it wants. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it, no warnings, or patterns, no predictability about any of it.
I can't plan to do anything, even if that thing means actually, literally earning a living.
And I can't cope with the way it's making me feel either, about myself and what's in store in my life.
Tbh, I had half decided yesterday and had already really cut down on what I ate.
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Which won't help your body at all. Has restricting done so in the past? The body and brain need sustenance and your bleeding is 'natural'. You need support for your mental health which is difficult to get in the UK :-\. Which agencies have you approached thus far?
Could you have someone along side at the Trade Show to give you a break ?
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Good advice from ckld. You need to eat well. Your situation sounds really stressful and I hope you can get the help you need as you can't go on regardless and then burn out. Please try and get some help. Do you have family who can support you? I hope others on here can help you more than I can.
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I just want some feeling of familiarity and stability in my life. And yes, restricting helps me with that. It's familiar, comforting, and utterly predictable in every way.
Burn out is not an issue. If you've ever know anyone with an ED, you'll know how disciplined and determined they can be.
I just want the endless bleeding to stop. And I just want to be able to carry on with my life. I like my life...the one I was living. I liked it a lot.
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Which won't help your body at all. Has restricting done so in the past? The body and brain need sustenance and your bleeding is 'natural'. You need support for your mental health which is difficult to get in the UK :-\. Which agencies have you approached thus far?
Could you have someone along side at the Trade Show to give you a break ?
I've had help with my PTSD in the past.
I don't tend to get on well with my GPs. They don't listen to what I'm saying to them and asking them for. And then they can't deal with me asking again, and eventually getting upset about it.
I can be super clear and eloquent about what I need from them in regards my body, and in regards what I need to know from them too. Like I'm writing now. Nothing ambiguous about anything I'm saying here...
I know my own body and mind really, really well. And I don't need someone to tell me how they're going to deal with me (read: control my body). That's unbelievably triggering for me.
Even though it's written in my notes that I have PTSD. And I repeat it every time I'm there. Still we go round and round the same merry-go-round.
So I tend not to go to my GP to ask for anything.
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It is difficult to get GPs to listen in the short time they give us. What other agencies have you approached?
How soon did the restricting stop the bleeding previously?. U R probably aware that your body needs grub in order to heal which of course, goes on without us being aware ::).
I have an eating disorder :'( which is more under control since I began Beta-blockas. But it never stopped my periods ::), in fact they were painful, clotty, long .........
Let us know how you get on at the Event! wish I lived closer :-\
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Awww, thank you so much!
Tbh, I had an ED for many years. But it wasn't one where you would have noticed by looking at me, iykwim.
I just remember it getting worse at one point. I think I just cut down a bit more than I had been eating without really meaning to and just found my groove, as it were. I think I was in the second last year of my undergrad. About some point then, or shortly after, I started taking laxatives as well. That only lasted maybe a year?
I'm so tired of feeling like this, I'm so tired of this struggle with my periods.
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If you're bleeding this heavily you are already at risk of becoming anaemic. If you restrict what you eat this risk becomes even greater which will make you feel even worse and less able to work. The bleeding you describe is familiar to me and I'm afraid is typical of perimenopause which will last exactly as long as it wants to. I'm a little surpised you were prescribed a CCP for this type of bleeding - I was given Cerazette, a POP, for this problem and it helped enormously. You could also be prescribed medication to lessen bleeding once it starts, which might be worth discussing with your GP
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It is difficult to get GPs to listen in the short time they give us. What other agencies have you approached?
I have an appointment with the Boots pharmacist to renew my Loestrin 20 prescription tomorrow. Next week an appointment with a sexual health clinic (they have also sent me a referral letter for their menopause clinic, but said not to hold my breath as it will take ages to come through).
What can stop the bleeding? What can i take? I can't stand it any longer.
I'm back to the big clots again. And I know that if I can't get to the bathroom in time, it's going to flood.
I feel, like 10 minutes of relief after one has left my body. And I'm thinking it's the last one. And then the feeling starts building again...
How long is this going to last? Why doesn't it stop?
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If you're bleeding this heavily you are already at risk of becoming anaemic. If you restrict what you eat this risk becomes even greater which will make you feel even worse and less able to work. The bleeding you describe is familiar to me and I'm afraid is typical of perimenopause which will last exactly as long as it wants to. I'm a little surpised you were prescribed a CCP for this type of bleeding - I was given Cerazette, a POP, for this problem and it helped enormously. You could also be prescribed medication to lessen bleeding once it starts, which might be worth discussing with your GP
I have been prescribed iron tablets for anaemia already. So I take those. Plus a vitamin b complex, vitamin a, evening primrose oil...
how long did yours last?
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Your GP should be able to prescribe something that will ease heavy bleeds. Of course, it has a long name which right now, I can't remember :-\ I think it begins with an 'N' ???
Whoops not an 'N' at all but I found this:
Here are the treatments for heavy bleeding listed on this website:
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/periodtreatments.php
Might be of use?
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Norethisterone?
It's not a 'permanent' solution. You can only take it for ten or so days max. And not regularly. I think it's more a one off type solution?
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We X in the post ::)
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Sorry, I don't understand? A X in the post?
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Crossed [X] in the post - we posted at the same time. I posted a Link which may be of interest.
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Ah, thank you.
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Sorry, I went to look for your post but it's not there?
Would love any more info you have found.
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Here are the treatments for heavy bleeding listed on this website:
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/periodtreatments.php
Might be of use?
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Thank you. I shall print this out and take it with me when I go to my appointment next week.
Only just made it home. Just over half an hour on the bus and I was already flooding the night time pad I had just changed into before leaving my work. Had to wash my trousers.
It's as bad as it was in November again.
How long? How long will this go on for?
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Why wait? Tranxamic [sp] acid should work quite quickly. Give your Surgery a ring and speak to the Nurse Practitioner.
Off for my bath now.
There are also pants with pads which might provide more protection - maybe have a look-see in a Supermarket or on-line.
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Thank you.
I was prescribed TA back mid October and took it for the fours days you can take it at the start of your period. It made me feel really nauseous and a bit dizzy.
When I went back to the GP to tell her, she said I was to stop taking it. She said I was too young for the menopause.
She put me on a mini pill instead, which I took for a packet (I think). I got an 8 day very heavy, big clots period. Then i had a week without a period, and then had another super heavy, 8 day long, very big clots period.
At that point I was going nuts. I needed to know I was going to be able to work my December contract. It's the money that I earn from that that gets me through January and February, financially.
So I called NHS24 in utter desperation and got referred. The doctor I saw gave me the Norethisterone and mentioned menopause. That's what started me on this journey of discovery.
I didn't know about the pants. How on earth do they work?
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Ach, forgot to mention...I don't think you can take TA alongside the pill? I've had a quick look on google.
I'm on my pill free week, as of tomorrow. I don't know what to do now.
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Another day...
Listened to a guided mediation on YouTube for sleep and managed to have quite a restful, if short, sleep.
I was chatting to one of my friends yesterday who is 41. She said that for the past 2 years her periods have been sort of fading away and she doesn't really get them much any more. She said that from what she understood, it went either one way or the other with your periods during perimenopause. Either like her, or like me.
She said what she's really struggling with was the insomnia and dealing with the lack of sleep. Honestly, the insomnia feels like the least worrying thing for me.
I feel not too bad today, so far. But I feel broken by this whole thing. I just want this whole thing to stop now. I've had enough of it all. It's just totally taken over my whole life. It feels like there isn't one part of my life that's not been affected by it.
I already did whole life overhaul thing recently. I've just been through that, starting 3 and a bit years ago now. When my (now ex) husband left, seemingly out of the blue to me at that time. And he went to have a child with the young woman he'd been having an affair with pretty much straight away after leaving.
I really don't have the energy for another one of these life overhaul type things. I don't.
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Half a day at a time? This too will pass. One cannot rush hormones ::) they have a mind of their own. Mine certainly did whilst I was growing up!
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I'm so tired of all of this.
I'd rather be using the my energy for you know, living my life and enjoying it, and being able to plan things and looking forward to them, instead of dreading the future and feeling like a prisoner in my own body.
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I am struggling again this week Focus. I wonder if the dark days have anything to do with it. No sitting out in the sun or warmth on our bodies. I went to my CBT session today and she suggested that going on this site was maybe not good for my anxiety! I sometimes think it is the only place I feel sane. So tomorrow I will be juggling and playing my Ukulele (so hard to spell!) but not looking at this site :'(
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Short on words this morning, but hugs to you my friend.