Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: NaturalMystic on January 10, 2019, 02:11:33 PM
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Hi all,
Happy New Year!
I find that I drink more wine than I should in the evening (albeit a 7% wine). Sometimes it's the only thing that makes me really relax, however I am wondering if the very thing I'm drinking to relax in the evening is causing my morning anxiety, and heart flutters.
Anyone with any experience of this?
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No doubt about it. Alcohol does give me anxiety if I drink too much.
Its so easy to reach for the wine if you are stressed and want to relax. I do it. But then I eat rubbish, can't sleep and feel anxious the next day. I try not to have a drink during the week if I can, and only have a few drinks on Saturday and Sunday.
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Hi NaturalMystic
Maybe you're right.
When I became aware I couldn't drink anymore, I was out having a meal, and had a pint
lager/lime, and maybe I'd only drank 1/2 of it and I felt awful.
My anxiety kicked in big time, made me feel like I'd drank 10 pints,! I wasn't drunk, but it made me feel like I was drunk, but still my brain was there, hard to explain, but boy, it made me feel crap!. I couldn't drink the rest, and I used to drink lager, and wine all the time.
Well, not all the time, I'm not an alcoholic, 😺but you know what I mean. Lol.
So I used to test it, every time I'd have a drink, only like 1/2 glass of something the same thing would happen, so I stopped drinking altogether.
I hadn't had a drink for years now, oh, except a glass of champers at my nieces wedding, and that gave me anxiety, and had to run to the toilet while the speeches were being made.
Hence, the anxiety was bad all through the wedding reception,.... horrible .
So yeah, I think this meno thing has a lot to answer for.........xx
Happy new year xxx
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Too much red wine gives me a pounding heart when I`m in bed... doesn`t stop me drinking it though :D
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NaturalMystic - can't say that when I had morning anxiety (now all gone) that drinking made it any worse - it was just permanently off the scale. I wake up feeling just slightly nauseus for the first 10 mins anyway everyday. I have found over the last year I can only have one glass of any type of alcohol. It doesn't make me anxious but it seems to affect my liver. There is nothing wrong with my liver and I have never been a big drinker anyway. Probably drink once every 3 months max and probably more like every 6 months. I seem to get itchy and I can't sleep (not jittery just restless) and it seems to make my joints really sore. That the biggest problems, it makes my knees, ankles and elbows sore. I think I read somewhere that it is the acid that causes the joint problems. The rest I have no idea, I just drink even less than I used to and only one glass - no fun huh!
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Too much red wine gives me a pounding heart when I`m in bed... doesn`t stop me drinking it though :D
I couldn't drink red
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Red wine? I absolutely love it but it definitely doesn't love me
I only drink on a Friday and Saturday as that's the only time my husband and I unwind but only a couple of glasses of white,more than that and yes pounding heart
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Agree totally with all of this. If I have a single glass of wine with my dinner I will not get to sleep as well, wake up more and around 6 hours later 2/3am have shaky, vibrating heart. Especially bad with wine. I rarely touch it now.
The only thing that helps it to have a glass of water to drink along side of it like the Italians do. Was also give a tip on a wine tasting course that wines from South America have far less additives in general other wines so I always try and choose one from there...and it's true - less head ache.
If I take the time and have the energy to make a really nice meal it is nice to have some wine with it though. And so at least an hour it does make me 'chill out' slightly and dull the ' on edge' anxiety which plagues me so much.
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Alcohol is a depressive. It's also a poison to many people and some ladies have found that during peri-menopause, they react differently than previously. Maybe because they don't eat the same or have gut problems due to hormonal upheaval?
My go to relaxant is a hot bubble bath with Very Good Book and a cuppa ;). I would never reach for alcohol as it's rarely agreed with me. One needs to consider the reason why one would use alcohol and see if there is an alternative.
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I've had acute morning anxiety for well over a year now - when it started I wasn't drinking at all, now I am as there's nothing else that gives me a break from the whole nightmare. It makes absolutely no difference to my anxiety whether I've had a drink or two the night before or not - it's the same every bloody morning.
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Cortisol was my biggest problem for a few years :'( any time from 3.30 a.m..
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I haven't had a drink for 12 years and I've got jittery, stomach churning anxiety on a regular basis. I am sure it is hormonal.
Therefore you should all drink as much as you can ;D.
In actual fact, I've been thinking of taking up drinking again to help my anxiety ;D ;D ;D
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Nice one AgathaC - if we are anxious all the time any without alcohol - why worry!
It is definitely hormonal the jitter thing. Mines gone now so my hrt has sorted it. Its the itching thing with alcohol I cant do and it disturbs my already disturbed sleep so I cant use the "help my anxiety" excuse.
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I'm NOT giving up my glasses of wine at the weekend,better watch though ladies,there will be a new thread titled “alcoholics “😂
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Alcohol is actually an intensifier, if you're in good spirits it takes you up, and if you're not it can take you down. When my mother died I didn't drink for 2 years because it just made me cry.
I love a drink socially but these days I limit it to Friday/Saturdays only. Mainly because it's so calorific. Wine 🍷 and beer 🍺 are my favourites, I never touch spirits they make me feel ill.
To answer your question NaturalMystic I do find I struggle if I drink whilst on the progesterone part of my hrt though, Utrogestan and alcohol just don't mix. Other than that it's fine as long as know/and stick to my limits x
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Cortisol was my biggest problem for a few years :'( any time from 3.30 a.m..
How do you know CLKD? Did you have your cortisol level tested? I'm a bit confused, because I had a 9am cortisol test not that long ago and it was normal, and yet my morning anxiety level continues to be sky high....
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Cortisol is like other hormones, variable. It peaks in the early hours. Hence the sudden anxiety. 9 a.m. is probably far too late!
I would never consider having it measured. It's the waking up hormone and affected me although I wasn't aware at the time. Woke full of dread, forbidding and fear day after day after day ........ I still don't know how I got through those years.
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Yep, mine is exactly the same, morning after morning after morning, but an 'expert' recommended getting the level tested- not sure why as nothing's ever been said about the result. Mind you, nothing's ever been said about the fact that my SHBG level is abnormally high either, which must be distorting my hormone levels. Don't know why they bother to test these things....
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It was bothersome and frightening for several years, eased by appropriate anti-depressants and medication to ease anxiety. I dreaded going to sleep due to the nightmares and dreaded wakiing :'(. With an addictive and impulsive personality it wasn't wise for me to reach for alcohol, that could have made issues much worse.
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I can take it or leave it. I like a G&T, the odd cocktail or glass of wine but if there was suddenly no more alcohol it would fine.
Now chocolate 🍫 is a different matter.
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Yep. I would miss chocolate, buttons in particular. I would never think to go down the alcohol lane - unless I'm buying a gift for DH ;)
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im a regular drinker ,at least 2 sometimes 3 beers,or ginger wine at night before bed. i know i should try to have 1 only but ive had so much ongoing trauma which
dosent seem to end +im nearly 60 +stll not properly
in the menopause.my life is actually hell+i look forward
to my drinks at night,NOT every night!perhaps 3 times a week.often i feel ill after having too much+say il have
less next time!but i dont.i need to block out my anxieties,
problems,depression sometimes+its no good any1 saying
dont do it.you havent had the life ive had .i will continue
im so depressed right now but sober as i write this.what worries me is my terminally ill partner has several
boxes strong painkillers in cupboard+i sometimes on waking
think how easy it would be to take some with the booze
+get out of this evil world..i always stop these thoughts by thinking of my estranged son. i wouldnt want him to
think it was his fault,but im so unhappy.cant take hrt
as had a breast lump removed age 50 +dont want antidepressants,i know its ok to drink when on them,but it would seem to knock out any advantages.
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Hi Funnel
I was really concerned and aadk to read your post. How are you feeling this morning?
You can always talk to the lovely people on here, when things get overwhelming. I think aot of us know how that feels.
Take care
Jeepers x
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Oh funnell,so sad reading your post,you are definitely not alone you know,quite a few of us on here haven't had the greatest of lives and it manifests itself in different ways.
I'm really Sorry hear your partner is so ill.
Like you said,no point telling you to stop drinking as it's your haven.cant you talk to ANYONE?
all I can say is I'm thinking about you
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Funnell - hello - like you, I worry about HRT and breast pr
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Sorry - sent too soon!
Funnell - hello - like you I worry about HRT and breast problems and I don't take it - but there is a lady on here (CLKD) who always says quality of life now outweighs potential future problems. In your case, since you are having such an awful time, this might well be appropriate. It must be terrible coping with a terminally ill partner (read tc's experiences) and coupled with the menopause, I'm not surprised you feel totally shit. You must go and see your GP. Tell him/her about what you wrote, if you can. Someone needs to know how bad you feel. You can message us on here any time but you need some proper help and I suspect some medication. Lots of love to you xxx
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Funnell - I agree with AgathaC - I found when a friend ended his Life 2 years ago that MIND Charity were really helpful. I found out when and where the walk-in centres were and surprisingly, the lady running our local Branch kept in contact via e-mail for several months. I didn't need to visit but the support was helpful.
I have taken appropriate anti-depressant medication since 1988. Accepting that I need daily treatment for Life was difficult but once I realised that DH and I have a Life together, it did become easier. Anti-anxiety medication is essential for me.
What support are you getting with regards your partner's illness? I believe that there is a 1-off payment available via Macmillan for people who may require it, perhaps contact them to see what support they give? Talking can help as it clears the brain. Add menopause upheaval to that mix and one can feel bogged down. You have enough insight to realise that it wouldn't help your partner right now for you not to be here as well as your estranged son feeling at fault. That situation won't help your mental health either.
As for HRT and breast problems. What problems exactly? I had breast disease and have localised HRT for vaginal atrophy, I couldn't have lived with the razor blades :o up there. Also, that bus might catch me tomorrow so the breast disease wouldn't happen. As well as finding out that many ladies are having un-necessary treatments when a lump is found, rather than a watch and wait.
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How are you this morning Funnell? - you are amongst friends here - and sometimes it is easier to "talk" here on the forum when you can't see peoples faces. Well I found it so anyway, I have said things here I have never ever said out loud. There are plenty of us who know how you feel and there is always someone who can talk to you - often into the night because we cant sleep cos of our menopause symptoms ::)
I agree with AgathaC you do need some support from your gp but it's tough trying to deal with them when you can barely move or even talk with the weight of the world on your shoulders crushing you. I know you don't want anti-depressants but your need to get some clear thinking and that might be the only way - there is no shame or guilt attached to asking for help you know...often it shows just how strong you are deep down even though it might not look like it on the outside. Reach out to all the people who can help you, lie Mcmillan and your doctor and everyone here. You already have loads to deal with all of which are terribly stressful without putting the menopause into the equation. A lot of us here have been out of our heads without any of those things in our lives, athough lots of us have had situations like that too so we know how you feel. :bighug:
Just remember you are not alone here.
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There should be a support Nurse in relation to your partner's condition too. That will depend on which Health Authority the treatment is supervised by. Does the Hospital have a 'friends' type group, I found PALS at King's Lynn really helpful.
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So sorry that you are feeling so low Funell. You are never judged on here but always someone comes along with good advice so write away. You really should try and get some help. CLKD's advice is a good start. We are all thinking of you. Keep on posting
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thanks so much for all kind replies.some people do have
1 bad thing after another happen to them+i do wander why me.im still in peri meno even at my age,last period,
dec+before that was in august. so i was 47 when daughter got killed by serial killer,+thought i was doing ok,but now with full meno approaching,at almost 60,definately late starter! its all coming back to me,
+i think about her more +how i couldv prevented it.
issues with son so he wont let me visit or visit me here
+partner has C K D so he may well last few years on dialysis.i suppose cancer is worse.some people have such seemingly good lives+still complain,+i carry on.
i will go to gp+ask about a safer hrt?i had DCIS ,or
preinvasive, lump in milk glands only. so i may be ok
with hrt.?i will make that appointment +enjoy my drinks
tonight!
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Omg reading that took my breath away,I'm so very sorry,none of us know how we would cope in your situation.really am lost for words.
Keep fighting ❤️
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Funnell - maybe a personal thread in this 'personal experiences' room so that we can keep supporting you? so that you don't get lost.
You have a lot going on. What's C K D? [chronic kidney disease] :-\
I read yesterday about a man who shortly after his 30th birthday found that his twin brother had been killed by two men. In more recent years he has met with 1 of them prior to this man's potential release. He has found it cathartic thus far. Something to do with 'victim support', he was able to tell the killer exactly how the actions continue to affect him and has found also that this man has regretted his actions. I don't know if I have that kind of mentality to believe that someone could change having caused such trauma. Killers don't realise how much actions impact, like a pebble in a puddle .......
The word here is 'enjoy'. Take pleasure in choosing a good wine, pick a lovely glass, take time in pouring the drink and savour it. Don't see it as a chore or necessity but as a reward! Maybe in a bubble bath ;)
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Hi Funnel
Like Jaypo said, KEEP FIGHTING!
Go to your GP, and ask for hrt, like you say, you may be able to get some, gotta be worth a try.
Also ask if they can refer you off to someone to talk to, explain what your going through,
I'm sure they'll refer you to someone. You can't carry on like this.
I'm so sorry about everything that's happened to you, I can't even start to feel how or understand how you feel, it's just devastating. So plz ask GP for help.
Please, please, keep posting, you don't have to bottle everything up, have a rant on here,
Or ask anything on here, someone's always on to talk to......
Enjoy your drink, my god, you deserve it......you've so much to deal with.
You mentioned ginger wine, my dad used to give me a glass of that years ago, he loved it, so did I,.....I'd actually forgotten all about that, so thank you.......
Jd xx.
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I loved ginger wine. I also had some recently to ease my persistent cough but of course, I can't remember the name on the bottle ::). It was quite spicy and warming. Don't know if it did my cough any good .....
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Stones Ginger wine?
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That's what I used to buy. Usually in December ......... still on the shelves but what I choose recently was a different make.
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THANKS SO MUCH! for all your lovely replies .was having probs with forum,+ finding this site. Got the hang of it now+only just read
most of them. I'm in touch with son. +visit monthly(but not at mo of course) . Dialysis keeps partner alive. Seems to be doing ok
but he has lots other health probs. Obviously son +grandson are more important+ I carry on for their sake. I m in proper menopause now,
no period since last march 2019. Was advised to have breast removed because of D C I S. had 2 biopsies awake. + and an op under
anaesthetic to remove the precancer cells contained in milk ducts.That was all done in Dec/Jan. Don't no now when mastectomy will
be as Doc wanted to do it in July. I'd really rather not have this done, my breasts are too small as it is ,but Doc says DCIS can spread
into main tissue? +I had DCIS removed 10 years ago + it's returned. As for comments reg killers who get let out of jail,
they still have their lives to carry on living.What about the victims +their families that have the life sentence. I DONT believe in
forgiveness, I'm not religious. Trying to understand what I'm going through unless you v been through it yourselves is difficult.
We r all capable of killing some1 in self defence, protecting ourselves/families etc. Or manslaughter, meaning it's unintentional.
But to purposely set out to kill +dump humans ,like theyr a piece of rubbish? I never got to see daughter,to say goodbye,
Not after 5 weeks of lying in ditch,of course the cops won't let me + her dad see her like that.
As I'm getting older I'm more afraid,especially of younger men. Care where I go ,no remote places alone.not even parks.
We are looked down on by younger people,, more vulnerable,more at risk. Am I 2 anxious reg this.I darent leave
windows,doors unlocked, even in day time. CHEERS to all.I l enjoy my drinks now!x
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Funnel,please can't you get help,nobody should have to go through all of this on their own
You?re right,none of us can even imagine how you are feeling,your story is so sad but surely you?re not left to cope on your own after a murder of your daughter?
Get help...please xx