Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: NaturalMystic on November 17, 2018, 01:07:55 PM
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I believe I have been peri for 10 years, have all the signs, I turned 50 this year (and hate that number lol).
What I find the most difficult is the panic, the feeling of impending doom that just comes over you. You don't know to do, to fight (stay) or run the feeling of wanting to run away from your body is tremendous. Having one of these today and just feel helpless.
I have a fantastic week, panic free, sleeping better (I think due to the oestrogen gel).
Anyone else have these? You really think his is your time to die when its happening but of course you don't ... But maybe this time.
I think I'm losing my mind.
Nicky, Essex
Oh, hi all 😋
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Hi Nicky
Yes I think you'll find most of us here have had those symptoms & still do get them,antidepressants a plenty🤪 some of us choose not to take them & some do, I think between us all we've had every major terminal illness.Dont worry you're not alone xxx
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Thanks for replying.
I read messages on here when suffering, it always brings me back to reality and normality.
I was on amitryptaline but that caused irregular heart beats, causing sudden butterfy feelings in my throat, leading to anxiety .. Exactly y I was on them. Decided to come off.
Now managing on the gel, propranalol when I have mild anxiety and take 2mg of valium when having a severe panic, sometimes not even once a wee.
I just felt so well this week and here it comes out of left field.
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Yeah it's horrible,it's fine being told it's “normal “ but doesn't really help us when it's happening. I was put on sertraline & it made me so nauseous I came off them,so at the moment I'm just trying to handle it the best I can
Hold on in there girl,we women are fighters,we'll get to the light at the end of the tunnel one day ...........won't we?😳
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We bloody well better see that light :o
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Despite knowing what causes my anxiety which leads to full blown panic when I flee the situation, doesn't stop the physicality taking over. Hence my requirement of an emergency pill otherwise I wouldn't be here.
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Despite knowing what causes my anxiety which leads to full blown panic when I flee the situation, doesn't stop the physicality taking over. Hence my requirement of an emergency pill otherwise I wouldn't be here.
I know what you mean, its debilitating. My anxiety usually comes as a result of a physical symptom, like a heart flutter or just feeling unwell. Its so frightening, sometimes I fear losing my mind when its happening and so scared I won't come back. Is it the same for you?
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It definitely is the same for me,the tiniest of twinge can send me spiralling,just don't know how to get out of the vicious circle.anyone tried hypnotherapy?
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Yep to the similarity. Nope to hypnotherapy, my boss told me that I wasn't suitable ;D
I have tried relaxation exercises. Deep breathing. Soft music in the night. Deep baths. Gentle walking. Medication.
4 me I feel nauseous which makes my thighs feel weak, then my calves, then I'm rolled into a ball :'(. No thought pattern, it's instant.
Eating regularly however can ease anxiety surges, that is, every 3 hours! day and night ;-)
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Completely understand where you are coming from Naturalmystic, you could be describing my symptoms exactly!
Thing is, until all this hit I was never particularly an anxious person, it just comes out of nowhere and takes over and it is very scary.
I think CKLD is right, eating regularly is key, keeping blood sugar stable, it definitely helps me. That and not spending too much time on my own, even if I just go out for a walk and speak to complete strangers while I am out I feel better.
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Hi ladies.
So I've tried everything for my Anxiety which is definitely hormonal/perimenopause related. By everything I mean everything that is not HRT or AD's.
CBT, mindfulness, essential oils, podcasts, self help books, you name it.
The ONLY thing which is really and properly helping me is....brisk walking.
So now I'm walking for half an hour during which I cover about 4km. I walk briskly rain or shine. I have to do this at 5.30am and at 9pm, because I have a family and I work.
It's also good for my 2 stone weight increase, of course.
Being outside helps enormously and I feel tons better when I get back home.
Natural Mystic - how about a walking trial? Xx
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I used to run 5k 3 x a week until I had to have foot surgery,I really loved it but have done hardly any exercise since,losing so much weight recently has put me off exercise but I really should go for nice brisk walks with my dogs, I agree with you Agatha,it's good for body mind and soul
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Walking really is the best exercise and it's free! I can't think how many times l've walked out of my front door in a stare of acute anxiety only to walk back in an hour later feeling calm and optimistic again. Nothing like it!
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I can completely understand what you are going through naturalmystic.
I started on femoston conti tablets but changed to everol conti patches as my anxiety was getting worse and thought a change of hrt may help. It did for a while but I'm having good and bad days. It just hits for no apparent reason. Some days I feel great and think iv beaten it then when back to feeling awful. I'm like you thinking that I must have something awful. I agree with the ither ladies that walking is good for the mind & i also write down my thoughts so when I have a bad day I can look back and see that nothing bad happened to me.
Hope you are feeling well today
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Panic is awful. Appropriate medication can help regardless of the causation.
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I believe I have been peri for 10 years, have all the signs, I turned 50 this year (and hate that number lol).
What I find the most difficult is the panic, the feeling of impending doom that just comes over you. You don't know to do, to fight (stay) or run the feeling of wanting to run away from your body is tremendous. Having one of these today and just feel helpless.
I have a fantastic week, panic free, sleeping better (I think due to the oestrogen gel).
Anyone else have these? You really think his is your time to die when its happening but of course you don't ... But maybe this time.
I think I'm losing my mind.
Nicky, Essex
Oh, hi all 😋
I can relate I'm 50 soon too and like you peri since I turned 40.
The 💩 hit the fan 7 weeks ago ... some symptoms that scared the hell out of me.,. I said to my partner in times of hysteria “I want to just run but I've nowhere to run to I can't run from myself “ so I can totally relate.
I was anxious about something specific though.. general anxiety is not something I suffer with much...
Have you tried those apps Headspace ? They're great for calming the central nervous system down .. guided mindfulness meditation that you can decide to do for 5 mins or longer...
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Can I ask what medication works for you. I've been taking Prozac for just over three weeks but as yet my health anxiety is still here
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Hi Lizziefin - I have been taking anti-depressants since the 1980s. It takes a few weeks for the medication to kick in, I found the more depressed my brain was the longer it took to feel benefit. I now take a beta blocka at night as well as an anti-anxiety medication when required.
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Hi Lizziefin - I have been taking anti-depressants since the 1980s. It takes a few weeks for the medication to kick in, I found the more depressed my brain was the longer it took to feel benefit. I now take a beta blocka at night as well as an anti-anxiety medication when required.
That's what I want,just something as & when needed!what is it you take clkd
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For years I had 5mg of Valium as necessary. 3 times a day if required but once I knew that it worked for me I used it the night B4 we had events that I couldn't get out of. Visiting his family. Visiting mine. I could have not gone but he has been so patient and kind during my illnesses that it was my re-payment of his kindness, to suffer the anxiety, taking the medication and getting through the day/weekend visits. I would often go to sleep in the afternoon and his mother would say 'Did you have an early start?' or "You'll get a stiff neck if you sit in that position". I know it was probably seen as rude, but heck she had her son in the room ........... if I went to bed for a couple of hours she would stand outside the door and ask in a very loud voice, "Who would like a cup of tea or coffee" ........ no need, she could have asked them quietly in the lounge :bang: :bang: :bang:
Now I have another drug as necessary, when panic attacks take over: of course I can't remember the name as I rarely use it but it does work within 20-40 mins.. Because I know it works I don't become reliant on it. I have also tried Rescue Remedy mouth spray. That has been useful too, as has relaxation therapy: providing I remembered to practice ::)
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I can relate NaturalMystic - your story sounds very familiar. As others have mentioned, anti depressants have been a major help for me alongside hrt etc. But, as always, it isn't for everyone. I've had a few other friends actually feel worse having been on them long-term, so it's definitely a case by case thing. I'm just lucky enough for them to give me a hand, but it definitely doesn't completely get rid of that anxious / anxiety inducing feelings. Though it does lessen them, which I guess is the best we can hope for. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a cure-all!
If nothing else i appreciate those good days all the more, hope you start feeling a little more you soon. Being able to chat with likeminded people here is *definitely* a plus <3
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Thanks for your time taken to respond fellow menopausers.
I have some fantastic days where I feel so good, almost forget I have anxiety ... Then it jumps out at me, like today.
The heart flutters are so frightening it takes all I mentally have to get through it.
Son days I just wonder if I can carry on like this, today is one of those days.
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This too will pass. The trick is to take medically what gets your through. It's Trial and Error at a time when we are tired ........
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Hello ladies.
Unfortunately the menopause has made me very familiar with anxiety and panic.
NaturalMystic - It may help you to know that I had lots of palpitations earlier in my meno journey and how my heart didn't leap out of my chest I don't know lol. I have odd flutters now but much, much milder so they do pass. I understand your despair though, they can be so scary and their unpredictability is horrible.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
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Thanks, you always help ladies, as I hope I help others during my stronger days.
I'm ok, taken 20 mg propranalol and 2mg valium, some days I just have to xx
Wishing you all well too as I know you are suffering too xxx
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For years I had 5mg of Valium as necessary. 3 times a day if required but once I knew that it worked for me I used it the night B4 we had events that I couldn't get out of. Visiting his family. Visiting mine. I could have not gone but he has been so patient and kind during my illnesses that it was my re-payment of his kindness, to suffer the anxiety, taking the medication and getting through the day/weekend visits. I would often go to sleep in the afternoon and his mother would say 'Did you have an early start?' or "You'll get a stiff neck if you sit in that position". I know it was probably seen as rude, but heck she had her son in the room ........... if I went to bed for a couple of hours she would stand outside the door and ask in a very loud voice, "Who would like a cup of tea or coffee" ........ no need, she could have asked them quietly in the lounge :bang: :bang: :bang:
Now I have another drug as necessary, when panic attacks take over: of course I can't remember the name as I rarely use it but it does work within 20-40 mins.. Because I know it works I don't become reliant on it. I have also tried Rescue Remedy mouth spray. That has been useful too, as has relaxation therapy: providing I remembered to practice ::)
Wow your describing me only it's my own family I hate to attend functions of. I won't go illl make excuses up.
My family are the most judgemental and the least understanding
My sister knows I've been very sick lately so does my brother and my parents
Not one of them picked the phone up much less paid a visit and my dad told me to NOT contact mum about my health issues as it's causing her anxiety
This is not a new thing, mum always sent dad to deal with less than happy times..as a young girl living alone from 17 I saw that as rejection and thought she didn't forgive or love me.
Sadly I can't let it go although I've never brought it up,
You can't have ANY relationship and say you only want contact if they're happy and healthy...
Funny how as you grow older you see your parents as less God like and just humans warts and all....
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Maybe your Mum has always had anxiety so lacked empathy? Now it's worse for her?
I can't understand why families think it's OK to be judgemental? Is it that they don't believe us? or that my being anxious increases their own weaknesses though Dad was very good with me. I think Mum probably was ......... but in a different more practical manner.
2mg Valium is very little. I was taking 10mg 3 times a day years ago, the dropped to 10mg as necessary and then 5mg. Because I know that these types of meds work for me I don't feel any concern about addiction, however, if it's what keeps me alive then I'll take what is necessary!
I also have 20mg Propranolol at night. Supposedly to stop any early morning anxiety surges. Most days, it works ;-)
:bighug:
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Hi Nicky
I replied on your other thread, so won't repeat here...
Just to let you know that I get these feelings intermittently still - just lately they've been returning more often, along with feeling like I can't cope with the simplest of tasks, like paying a bill for instance!
I have had some dreadfully stressful things happen over the last couple of months, and the thought of Christmas is having me reeling...! And I'm finding now, after 18 months of this, that even when I'm feeling ‘ok', I'm anxious about when it's going to hit again...I find if I challenge those thoughts that sometimes will help.
So in my case, I'm going to increase my oestrogen patch up to 100mcg and see if that reduces it all again.
This is such a journey. Next time I'm coming back as a man X
I'm hoping you're feeling a bit better
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Hi Nicky
I replied on your other thread, so won't repeat here...
Just to let you know that I get these feelings intermittently still - just lately they've been returning more often, along with feeling like I can't cope with the simplest of tasks, like paying a bill for instance!
I have had some dreadfully stressful things happen over the last couple of months, and the thought of Christmas is having me reeling...! And I'm finding now, after 18 months of this, that even when I'm feeling ‘ok', I'm anxious about when it's going to hit again...I find if I challenge those thoughts that sometimes will help.
So in my case, I'm going to increase my oestrogen patch up to 100mcg and see if that reduces it all again.
This is such a journey. Next time I'm coming back as a man X
I'm hoping you're feeling a bit better
I'm coming back as an owl 😁
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We have an ongoing discussion on here about benzodiazepenes, the drugs CLKD refers to as the ones she uses 'as and when' she needs them. Without wishing to inflame the whole debate again, I just want to point out that diazepam (same as Valium), lorazepam (which is the next step up and the one CLKD is referring to) and all the others in this family, are highly addictive and can be absolute hell to come off.
CLKD is pretty unusual in that she manages to just take them occasionally - I don't know if this is a reflection of her basic personality, or the nature of her anxiety. Personally my anxiety is so relentless I've not been able to just take diazepam 'as and when' - the problem with these drugs is that when you get the amazing feeling of that horrible anxiety just melting away you want it again and again, but unfortunately you quickly build up a tolerance and become dependent and then they have no effect, but you have to keep taking them to avoid even worse withdrawal symptoms.
I'm currently stuck on 14mg diazepam every morning - it does nothing for my anxiety but I have to take it, and I feel like a drug addict. There seem to be no other anti-anxiety drugs I can tolerate, which is why I've ended up in this position. I'm ot saying don't take them, I just want to put an alternative view across because for many people this particular class of drug can be really harmful.
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More from me! Have you tried pregabalin - it didn't work out for me because I have an extreme sensitivity to all AD type drugs, but it's worked wonders for some on here. In fact it did reduce my anxiety considerably, but unfortunately like all these drugs it also made me profoundly depressed.
The only other things that give me temporary relief are yoga - have discovered this very recently, I go to a class twice a week first thing in the morning when my anxiety is at its worst and now do 20 - 30 mins at home if it's not a class morning. And immersion in very cold water. Until the weather turned so wet and miserable I was swimming in the river near me twice a week (last time was early December), and it really does make a difference brain chemistry-wise. I'm now having a a cold shower every morning as the weather has just been so awful and the river is too high to swim safely; it still helps but it's not the same. I know my friends think I'm really wierd but I'll so anything if it takes the edge of that awful feeling of panic and dread.
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Hi
The anxiety is terrible isn't it? I feel like I am barely functioning.
I have pains everywhere, stomach, guts,back, ribs, kidneys fingers toes . .. I have very little appetite and feel nauseous all of the time . I don't know what all of these pains are, but it's freaking me out.
I hear what you are saying about not being alone, but I work.away in the week, and spend evenings in hotel rooms, very much alone. I can't even go out for a walk as it's pitch black, and not even street lighting.
I desperately need to climb out of this vortex though...as right now, I just feel like giving up.
Sorry to be such a downer
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Could U alter your life-style Jeepers, maybe go into B&B where there would be people around in the evening? Though I prefer the less in your face hotel myself, less likely for anxiety. I have plenty to see on the TV too and love reading.
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I could, but I'm not really very extrovert by nature... I tend to just hide away.
I've had a bath, now watching TV, but hard to ignore how bad I'm feeling.
I have a pain in my ribs like my bra is too tight, but I'm not wearing one !
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Hi lovely ladies. Hi CLKD. I haven't posted on here for a while (well 2 months but it feels like ages!). I have been struggling with health anxiety for the past six years now; every since my early Peri symptoms started. Looking back I have convinced myself I have about 10 serious illnesses at one time or another. It is exhausting. I find I have a good couple of months when I feel much better and do all the self management things; exercise, eating well etc. then like a few days a go something will trigger off a thought process (this time my finger jerking for no reason and feet tingling) and am swamped by a panic that I just can't think my way out of - I try all the tricks. Then I don't sleep well, get all the horrid anxiety symptoms. I find events like holidays or Christmas seem to trigger it looking back. I really helps coming on to this forum as your stories are SO similar. I am currently doing CTB via the NHS which is helping a little but am very close to trying Sertraline (unopened packet is two years old!). I just want a rest from living like this as the bottom line is I am not happy most of the time.
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Hi lovely ladies. I just want a rest from living like this as the bottom line is I am not happy most of the time.
I feel for you because I know this mental torture. My panics can follow a symptom or come from nowhere, seconds after feeling absolutely fine. Its scary and debilitating and I also wonder how long I can go on feeling this way. Mostly I use humour and those at work wouldn't have a clue that I'm screaming inside, fighting the feelings and intrusive thoughts.
Lots of love to you xx
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Screaming inside - that really does sum it up. I took my daughters out this afternoon to a National trust House, because neither of them can drive and they both have mental health issues too, and I feel as their mother it's my duty to make Christmas nice for them. But all the time I had that awful feeling of physical anxiety and dread dragging me down; I can function, but as you say at the same time I'm screaming inside and it's a really horrible experience. I've had mental health professionals say to me 'but you don't look anxious' when I've tried to explain this thing - they just don't get it, that you're not necessarily shaking, hyperventilating, running for the hills, but that things feel desperate and you're holding it together by the skin of your teeth. That's how i feel most of the time at the moment x
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Screaming inside. Wading through treacle. Dark tunnel with no light .........
Medication keeps me relatively stable apart from this time of year when there are so many expectations. I've stepped back completely, few cards sent which is the preparation I like the best usually.
You put yourself under pressure racjen - but U did it :medal:
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Yes mine is very situational. The place I always feel most calm and ' safe' is the GP or the CBT counselors office which means they just see this normal, rational lady telling them 12 hours earlier she felt at the end of her tether. Outside walking I feel better too. I feel worse in the house with family having to put a front but on edge inside. We run a B & B but close for 3 months in the winter which sounds great but is actually hell on earth for my anxiety as I have all the time in the world inside my head to amplify every ache and niggle. A GP said years ago ' You can beat this thing you know' ; then strongly recommended SSRIs to give my brain ' a rest to reset' as he put it. I never went back to him as I worry about being addicted and side effects but am close to giving them a shot now as my 40s have been absolute crape.
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These posts reflecture my own feelingsite these last few months after a health scare/biopsy. Unbearable physical /mental symptoms, so exhausted. I daren't go near antidepressants as I came off some 5 years ago after being on seroxat 12 years. The withdrawal was unbearable. Now not coping so well with health issues.
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I've just read three texts which I sent my husband from work today:
I'm in a panic and my anxiety is sky high
(Then)
I can hardly breathe
(Then)
I feel like I'm about to drop dead
Anyway, I didn't drop dead and I came home, cooked roast lamb, visited my parents and then got ready for a Christmas party tomorrow.
All the while, I've got the black dog of doom sitting on my shoulder and every horrible feeling imaginable going on inside me.
I feel very ashamed to say that I feel better that other people feel this way too. I wouldn't wish this on anyone else but at the same time I feel a bit better knowing other people have the “leg of dread†as they get up in the morning. And then that the panic can descend on them randomly just as it does on me.
Anyway, just been for a night walk with my husband which has made me feel a little bit better. Well, until I came back in the house.
I feel like I took my happy go lucky 30's and early 40's for granted.
I'm wearing myself out with all this worry and anxiety. At this moment my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest.
Add to that I look like absolute s**t.
Love to you all x
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It is tiring. But is 'normal'. However, why did you need to do 'all that' in one day? When I was ill in the 1990s I would wander to the GP Surgery to sit, sometimes I got a cuppa handed to me ::). When I felt safe again I would wander back home.
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Agatha, really recognise those feelings of you might drop dead! Felt like that a lot lately, too tired for detail but so fed up, pains in stomagh, that panic that comes from nowhere. Never been so at a loss.
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I loved your post Agatha C. From an outsiders perspective it is (almost) comical the way we juxtaposition impending doom with turning out a three course dinner with all the trimmings. I have told me husband in all seriousness in the last few years that I have pretty much everything wrong with me up/in every orifice. I make a pact I will never EVER be so stupid and over reactive again...then a few days/weeks later a new twitch or headache or weird discharge comes along and I am back to square one. I was never like this in my 30s, I just got on with things and looked to the future. I think I will go on Dragons Den with a national chain of ' Screaming/Laughing/Crying' workshops for women of a certain age as that is what I think I need. I feel like a pressure cooker here.
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Please let me know when the workshop is ;D
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Do others feel the need to keep having a wee, although it's a silly question as anxiety does that. It's just that I have VA and after coming off hrt following post meno bleeding and just on topical hrt now, I had cystisis 3 months ago with uti symptoms coming and going for weeks after. But with anxiety as talked about on here and those rising feelings of panic, I don't know if these feelings of needing to wee is part of that or the VA. For example, today I felt OK in the day for first time in ages, then come the evening, anxiety just creeps up for no reason, but a real tangible feeling . Then these wee feelings start. Is it anxiety rather than VA if I was OK during the day? Don't feel as though I'm explaining myself very well.
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Should I use local hrt more often, I use ovestin. no other hrt. I was off all hrt for 3 months when this started. I never had this lingering feeling before. I don't want to be like this forever. I got really stressed during pmb biopsy etc. Do you think things will settle down? Really fed up.
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I don't really want systemic hrt after the bleeding as I was so scared. Not sure if I would be given it cos the biopsy did not get enough tissue and I couldn't face another so in theory I never really got the all clear. I had thickening which went down when I stopped systemic tibolone. I'm so scared of taking more hrt and bleeding again. I feel really trapped.
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I can't get this high or low oestrogen levels :-\ ....... surely the body regulates itself if HRT is prescribed? It drops off at peri-menopause so if necessary, replacement may help.
I'm background anxious but it's my body being hungry. :-\
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Very interesting.. I think this is the problem with hormones. Does the body regulate around the supplement you're taking? I've not read enough about it.
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Birdy. I just wanted to reassure you regarding the ' brain fog' . I had exactly the same panic two years ago. I would say stupid things like theatre instead of cinema, get into the car the passenger side when I was ment to be driving, put milk in the cupboard. I was so terrified that I felt I couldn't trust myself. Did all these online dementia tests all day! Ended up at docs in tears. She was great. Totally reassuring. Said if you watch EVERYONE makes these mistakes but if you are anxious you noticed them more so it is an vicious circle. A week or so after I saw her I just forgot about it (went onto another worry probably!) and two years on I can see she was right. So hang on in there, be gentle, it is really ' just' hormones.
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Hello birdy . I saw my gp a couple of weeks ago and she advised using ovestin every night for a few weeks then alternate nights for good if need be. She gave me 4 tubes to be going on with and it was good she didn't want to limit the dose and re assured me about its safety. The wee thing, or uti symptoms seem to have improved but I am still scared to use the dilator, which set off symptoms a few weeks ago, and still scared to have sex. But I am going to try to get back into using the dilator now things have settled. Trouble is, it's so good not to have those uti symptoms that I don't feel like rocking the boat, at a bit of a stalemate. Been having horrendous anxiety these last few weeks, really debilitating like I never knew was possible. It's been building for months now and is quite frightening. Hope it goes away. Thanks for asking . From other threads in know you have similar anxiety so hope you are not too bad.
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I wee a lot when my anxiety levels are up. As well as when the atrophy is bothersome.
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Trying some mild 5 htp for the last week and a herb called cleavers. Then usual stuff, starflower oil and vitamins. Lots of walking and attempting less negative thinking. Monday was horrendous, thought I might not be able to leave the house ever again.
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Thanks and all the best to you.
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:'(. I had years like that suzy ......... intermittently and thought that I would never go shopping again. Couldn't even go into the garden.
'rescue remedy' to hand? I forget yesterday :-\
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I hope things are better for you now CKLD. The feelings really frightened me, I know about anxiety but this was off the scale. I have not had it so acute since Monday, but feel fragile, as though it may recur any time.
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Which it could >:( - bugga .........
I was so tired after anxiety attacks too. The worry for me is that the attacks will return and never go :'(
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Yes that has been my fear too these last few weeks.
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It's so sudden 4 me. OK one moment then slammed :'( but hey, in between I can stand to sniff the roses ;-). I try to stop for 1 nice thing daily
;-). Waking up in a warm bed was lovely this morning .......
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It's so sudden 4 me. OK one moment then slammed :'( but hey, in between I can stand to sniff the roses ;-). I try to stop for 1 nice thing daily
;-). Waking up in a warm bed was lovely this morning .......
What's that slam feel like for you, what happens