Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Kathleen on September 13, 2018, 12:38:58 PM
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Hello ladies.
I am curious to know how the ladies that experience a lot of anxiety actually describe it to other people and to doctors? A friend of a friend talks about an all consuming feeling of fear. I have an internal shaking and quivering sensation. I thought that one lady's description of having swallowed a mobile phone that's stuck on vibrate was particularly good!
I also wonder how our doctors can differentiate between menopause anxiety and the type of anxiety caused by other conditions, ie mental health problems?
I suppose my question is how do you know if meno anxiety has become something else that requires a different approach, ADs for example or CBT. At the moment I still have flushes so I assume my anxiety symptoms are coming from my hormones ( or lack of ) but perhaps that's just confusing the issue and an anxiety disorder has developed alongside the menopause?
I would be very interested in your opinions and experiences ladies. I have learned that the best people to ask about such things are the lovely ladies who have been there and done that!
Wishing you all well.
K.
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Well I've always had anxiety in one form of another since childhood but at one point during peri, it became all consuming. I don't like to tempt fate but nearly a year ago, it seemed to calm down but it's always with me.
So my earliest anxiety was a fear that I find too embarrassing to write about but to me, it was a big thing. The thought would enter my head and then I would go through a constant inner monologue of how I was going to get myself out of any 'nervy' situation I had found myelf in so I would be plotting my escape in my head at the same time my heart would start racing and my finger tips would tingle. As soon as I 'escaped' the situation, I would calm instantly.
Once I had my second child which was a very traumatic birth then health anxiety kicked in. I have often said that I would gladly go back to the type of embarrassing anxiety I had in my younger days than face health anxiety which is just dire. I will get a pain eg. in my head and instantly, my heart starts to race, get tingling and I'm thinking 'I'm going to die'. Also, if I have a particularly bad attack, it leaves me feeling shivery and shaking.
During peri, my anxiety worsened but it was still the same feeling. The racing heart, the tingling finger tips, tingling upper lip, shaking feeling, nervous feeling, going hot, crazy thoughts going through my head which I find hard to calm and just a horrible feeling of dread or impending death!
I have never taken any medication for my anxiety. My health anxiety doesn't help matters as if I read any side effects of any medication I will convince myself I have them.
I think my anxiety has been with me so long now that I'm just used to it. I can rationalise it a lot easier than I used to be able to do in my early years.
My biggest regret is that I have passed it onto my daughter. I wish I had never let her see me in a panic etc but she started to pick up on it when she was 6 years old and then started with it.
As for describing it to other people...well I spent a long time not telling anyone. Then I confided in my best friend and she was a help but later in life I started to tell a few family members and I just felt they didn't understand it AT ALL. It was off putting and I wished I had never shared it so now I just keep it to myself.
I'm not sure how doctors differentiate but I presume it's same as is asked on here. If you have never experienced anxiety before then experiencing it in meno only points towards a hormonal problem. As for if it requires a different approach. I think it depends on how well you can cope with it. If it's becoming unbearable then I think people should seek out AD's or CBT.
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I now know what I experienced in puberty was anxiety, but that word wasn't ever given to me, just thatvthe Dr told my mum I would grow out of it, my experiences back then we're extreme shyness and when anxious I would disassociate with my body, I confided in my mum as it felt the same as when I'd read people die, they see their bodies stay there but they float away, that's how my symptoms were and it freaked me out so bad
After puberty and up until peri I never experienced it again but very rarely I would remember how it felt
Peri - wow, it all started up again. Only felt comfortable in my own home either alone or with my hubby and son. Any visitors or if I went out sent me into a shakey, light headed wreck and I'd start to disassociate but didn't ever go as far as I did in puberty, almost like maturity had given me the ability to bring myself back (I feel like a nutter saying it lol) faced with anyone apart from hubby or son would make me feel as if I was about to faint, clammy or freezing cold, palpitations, off balance. I gave up my job and distanced myself from friends and family. I didn't tell anyone, until hubby phoned me one day after about 3 years of meno and I'd plucked up the courage to seek private hypno cbt and he wondered where I'd got to ! He said everyone feels nervous so I had to tell him exactly how it was affecting me
Then along came testosterone. It has completely given me my life back. I still get nervous, but I'm out and about so much now, and lots of it I am alone. I haven't ever told a dr about my social anxiety, so have never been treated for it but was sure it had to be hormonal as it's only happened in puberty and menopause
I didn't see a future but now I'm enjoying it again, I've taken up golf and could've taken the easy route of joining hubby's club but I've opted to join a different one so I'm having to face new people, play new people and just generally be a big girl again !
To add: at the start of peri I was having health anxiety too but in my defence my health deteriorated literally overnight x
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Hello Snooze.
Thank you so much for your response. Your story is very interesting and I can see how distressing your anxiety has been plus I understand not wanting to take medication to avoid side effects but have you ever considered other therapies?
Your episodes sound a little different to mine but I sympathise because I have also had anxiety problems in the past. I agree that the loss of oestrogen and it's traquilising effect adds a new and unwelcome element to our troubles!
I'm afraid I can't remember if you are using HRT and if it's helping your anxiety but from what other ladies say hitting on the right formula is crucial for full symptom relief. Personally I can't wait!
Many thanks again for sharing your story and I wish you well.
K.
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I have also always suffered with anxiety and am not really worse now, but then I think I have always been bad pre-menstrually so mine is definitely hormonally aggravated. I have had counseling, CBT and they were both fine up to a point, but didn't make it go away maybe made me better at dealing with it. One of my earliest memories are of being in the middle of the school playground feeling scared. I'm lucky that I don't have panic attacks.
My anxiety feels at times like uncontrollable fear. I am very anxious about anything concerning my health that I can't explain. I constantly talk (silently) to myself rationalizing things so it's quite exhausting and others don't understand or realize the extent of it. Physically at night I sometimes feel as if everything is turned on full and everthing is going fast and sometimes I feel a buzzing feeling in my arms.
I do manage it fairly well and have not had medication. I feel like I'm having a battle with myself and don't always win!
It's really helpful to hear other peoples experiences as I don't think it is talked enough about.
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How long have you got :-\
My first panic attack at aged 3. Became anorexic and diagnosed by 5. Told I would grow out of it. So nausea strikes: my thighs go weak following instantly by the calves, legs to weak and that's it. I am a shivering wreck :'(. Suicidal. Light headed.
Once the anxiety starts to come down I pee: a lot: every 10 mins. 4 about 3/4 hours.
The following day I am knackered.
For years I would plan things to do but have to retract, I would get half way to town and need to get home or once in town, anxiety would hit and I dashed to the car. Himself would complete the shopping, no mobiles then.
Much better these days ......... unless an event is important :-\
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Hello Annie0710.
Your story is also fascinating and demonstrates another way that anxiety can manifest itself. My hair dresser told me that she experienced anxiety during puberty and at 38 she is noticing problems starting again however it was her mother who made the link with hormones.
I'm pleased you've found a treatment that works for you, it gives hope to us all!
Thanks for responding and take care.
K.
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Hello shropshirelass.
Thank you for your comments. I know lots of ladies suffer from health anxiety at this time and given the numerous changes that we are going through it's no surprise! Like you I have had anxiety before, possibly hormonal but I never really thought about it. I did have awful period pains when younger and could feel really ill so I focused on that rather than anything else.
I agree that anxiety should be talked about more often, also the different ways that it can present itself. We can learn a lot from each other.
Wishing you well.
K.
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Hello CLKD.
Thank you for your post.
I have read your story in other threads and it does seem that your anxiety is a special kind and I'm pleased that you now have the means to cope with it.
Take care.
K.
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'special' isn't what I would want ::) - different may be.
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Hi
I describe mine as my ‘spagetti head'. Not ever said that to my gp, he'll think i am nuts.......
But it feels like you cannot pull out a single straight thought;that its like pasta spagetti when you tip it in the colander!
When i had CBT once, my job was to focus on the worries specifically- but I couldn't, because I couldn't pull one strand.
I describe them to medics usually as racing thoughts, brain never switching off, whirring lol- i could go on &on.....
It has always been medication for me to switch the damn thing off
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When I was very ill my brain wouldn't stop long enough to focus on a worry :-\. It spun them all like a washing machine.
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Oh god, yes. Lol
Put my spagetti into your washing machine - sound like the same.
Whhhiiirrrriiiiiinnngg away.
I have suffered since a child, but only put a name to it in my late 20's. Know the reasons and triggers, but will it switch off NO.
Meds most of the time - which i don't regret at all, in fact it is them that has enabled me to process to a certain degree what this whirring is all about......
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Forgot to say- i almost don't try and ‘cure' it nowadays. It's just about managing the beast. I have sort of accepted that it is just the way i was made
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Forgot to say- i almost don't try and ‘cure' it nowadays. It's just about managing the beast. I have sort of accepted that it is just the way i was made
I feel exactly the same. No magic solutions for me
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I started suffering at 12 (so defo hormonal although I didn't know it then). Around 18 - 21 when I started with full blown panic attacks that just seemed to emerge from nowhere - totally subconscious - no bad thoughts or worries. I remember as clear as day now (and it was 38 years ago) the first attack which I had on a tube train going to work. I thought I was having a heart attack and I had to run. I didn't know what I was running from I just had this overwhelming urge to run so I got off at the next stop and ran out of the tube. As you can imagine it was rush hour and it was very difficult.
I ended up on anti-depressants for nealy 40 years! Not that they actually worked as they were supposed to. I dont have enough room or time to bore you all with the intervening trials and tribulations but to say 3 years ago I ditched all the pain pills and antidepressants. What I do want to say is that the meno anxiety is different to anything I have felt before.
I'm afraid - scared - not panicked except when confronted with something going wrong - or what I perceive as going wrong - others probably wouldnt give it a second thought. I have this overrwhelming feeling that "something bad"is going to happen and I need to prepare for every eventuality and my "self-talk" (the voices in my head - yes shropshirelass they are mega exhausting) goes on and on and on and I am afraid for the future - immediate and well into the future. I feel on constant alert and I don't sleep much. I do get shaky and weak at the knees whe someone says or does something which my voices have not prepared for but no full blown panic attack. I have never been scared of the future or scared of living or going anywhere before in this way. I did get scared of the Panic attacks when I was younger because the nature of them were so random for me and so as I had more of them I got afraid to go out because of them happening not because I was afraid of actually going out.
My hrt and my trials of keeping progesterone to the minimum have helped but not eradicated it altogether although I am still on a bit of learning curve - so yes Kathleen I am hoping the right formulae is coming up on the horion. Now I look back - its a pattern - I started around period time 12 had problems with the pill - had post-natal depression both times and now problems with the meno - one doctor told me years ago I had ME! No doctor who has prescribed meds and sent me to counselling and CBT has made any connection to hormones - duh! I have written in another post and on which CLKD has commented - I'm quite angry about that - seems like 40 years wasted struggling with something that was fixable to a certain extent.
Annie0710 - my husband can dissassociate (its not so bad now - he has had loads of counselling) but at one point it was so bad even he couldnt remember that he had been "away"! He described it as "being in another room, hearing muffled voices but not experiencing anything". He also said it's like being frozen in time and coming back having missed everything - so its not just us ladies - although his is defo not hormonal.
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I never experienced anything I'd describe as anxiety until it descended out of the blue when I was peri-menopausal, aged 45. No reason, no trigger, I just woke up one morning feeling a deep and awful sense of fear and dread. The pattern is always the same - it starts early morning, it's not triggered by thoughts but is a purely physical sensation in my stomach and bowel, as if I knew I had to give a really scary speech or something else I was dreading. Gradually it goes off during the morning until by lunchtime I feel OK. It kind of tailed off gradually when I was peri, but hit me far worse after I was thrown into sudden menopause by chemotherapy. Nothing works - CBT, psychotherapy, relaxation etc. because it's a physical complaint caused by hormonal imbalance. We've had so many discussions on here about this I think it's pretty clear that you can distinguish between hormonal anxiety, which has a physical cause, and psychological anxiety that springs from other causes. Right now I can only live anything like a normal life by taking a fairly hefty dose of diazepam every morning, but if that's what it takes to get my life back I'm doing it for now.
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Racjen - I am allowed a small stash of diazepam and but I only take it when I am really really bad. I know what you mean about the dread when you open you eyes - there is no time for a split second bad thought to be the cause because it is instantaneous - fear and dread and there is really nothing to be afraid of. So sorry to hear that the full meno was due to chemo - hope you are doing ok?
Sgtvhilts - My husband calls those thoughts "whistlers". He had a counsellor who just didn't get him and when she asked him questions about what he said she just didn't get his reply - actually knowing him I think he probably did it deliberately ::) He says they just "whistle through with no time to grab them as they go - and they're gone"! - but the spaghetti thing is a really good way to describe it.
Seems like from the comments here - there is a bit of concensus about "fear and dread" as a feeling. I wonder what receptors in the brain are responsible for that and why it just kicks off, although thinking about it, hot flushes just kick off randomly for no apparent reason - wonder if the two are connected? - just thinking allowed - I'm a bit of a "why" person - I like to know the reason for stuff.
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Yes, I think there must be a connection between the hot flushes and the fear and dread reaction, cos I've seen lots of women linking the two on here in their own experience.
I feel so so weary of health professionals seeming to be absolutely oblivious of this major symptom of menopause. In my desparation today I spoke to a lovely man on the Community Mental Health Team about this, and although he was trying to be sympathetic and helpful he clearly had no idea what I was talking about. And yet the evidence on this website is overwhelming....
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Hello again ladies.
Many thanks for your interesting comments everyone.
There is a lot of information on coping with anxiety but of course our trouble is hormonal and as such arises from a separate system. No one ever suggests we have CBT to cope with period pains, we are instead advised to take painkillers and cuddle up with a hot water bottle!
Meg Mathews has talked about her severe and sudden anxiety during her menopause, saying that she simply woke up with it one day and couldn't leave the house.
I think anyone purporting to be an expert on the menopause should be compelled to spend a few hours reading the posts on this forum. Only then could they get a true understanding of the range and severity of symptoms and hopefully develop some compassion along the way.
Take care ladies.
K.
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I hadn't experienced anxiety until I was in peri. Mine was mixed with insomnia, I'd spend hours lying awake at night turning things over and over in my head. During the day I didn't experience fear, it was more a feeling of being constantly on edge and expecting something awful to happen. My GP couldn't distinguish the cause. I was offered anti-depressants (which I refused) but she didn't make the connection with menopause. I was 57 which should have been a clue. It was cured by HRT.
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I'm with Kathleen - it doesn't matter how we describe it or that it is different from "normal" anxiety - it's clearly linked to the menopause and surely in this day and age of medical science how come most medical professionals can't even make the link! Heaven forbid we would actually want them to do something about it.
I think its endocrinologists who should know about the flush/anxiety thing Sparkle but I have to say I haven't read any theories o it anywhere and Racjen mental health professionals regardless (well any I've come across - and unfortunately its a few) do not have a baldy notion (NI expression). All they can muster is "its all in your head". Oh dear, you've got me started - useless supposed health professionals - one of my pet hates!
Menopause matters should be compulsory reading for all health professionals! With all these actual stories to corroborate what happens what I want to know is what could we all do about it to get it more widely considered because I would be on it like a car bonnet!
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Hi Kathleen
My reactions are purely physical. It's really weird: emotionally I do not feel anxious or fearful but my body suddenly switches to fight or flight mode (racing heart, heightened awareness etc). I think it is purely hormonal. I have never been an anxious person so these symptoms are strange.
Sid
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Ladybt28
You just explained my life to a ‘T'!! I found ADs useful in that I was better able to control the anxious feeling...but those awful ‘something bad is going to happen' feelings...in my saner moments I call them the horrors or the vapours!!
And as for the anxiety attacks before the flushes - at this stage, our adrenal cortex takes over from our ovaries in producing the kind of ‘old lady oestrogen' (that's what I call it lol) that we'll need for the rest of our lives. Some ladies are lucky, and this process is a gradual one, ovarian production waning at the same rate the adrenals take over - these are the ladies who ‘sail through' menopause, whose period just stops, and nary a hot flush in sight, lucky them! For the rest of us, it's like trying to pull start an old lawnmower - the adrenals cough, splutter, jerk about...the ovaries are doing the same, and everything becomes a kind of hell. There is a lot of research going into this....I've been reading quite a lot about it. In my stronger moments, I do 5-6-7 breathing, and focus on the thought that ‘it's just the adrenals taking over from the defunct ovaries'....but when the horrors hit, they hit hard and I find it very difficult to deal with:(
I hope this makes sense xx
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Lol Sparkle, you made me laugh ;D....
Sometimes, when it's really bad, I wonder if the whole bally thing would just sputter and die?!! ;D
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Hello again ladies.
I wish I had a better understanding of what is happening on a cellular level when I start to feel awful. Tempest comments that our bodies are experiencing a type of drug withdrawal and this is the cause of many symptoms.
I read an article about a recovering alcoholic who had terrible anxiety when he was in rehab while his brain adjusted to being alcohol free. I wonder if all our little cells are crying out for the oestrogen fix that never comes? If so I wish they'd shut up already because I've just about had enough of this meno lark!
Take care ladies.
K.
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Doesn't really make sense though because my cells are getting the oestrogen fix, I've had no problems getting my oestrogen levels up to pre-menopause, but the anxiety remains as bad as ever.
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HeLloyd again ladies.
Racjen - You make a very good point. Clearly low oestrogen levels are not solely responsible for anxiety, if only we knew what was!
My consultant told me that a measurement of 400 pmol would be helpful but other ladies have been given a different figure to aim for. The lack of consensus is beyond frustrating and only adds to our despair in my opinion.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
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I just need to say 'THANK YOU' for this thread. My gosh, just so wonderful to read everyone's experience.
I started having anxiety about 4 months ago. I remember the week and all the events. I was on BCP at the time, it was a menstrual week and ever since I get it, especially bad (one ER visit) during that menstrual week, almost like clockwork. Then it takes me a couple of weeks to completely come down off it but I can tell when the intense anxiety stage starts to pass. This anxiety does include panic attacks but much less now that I know what is happening. For me, it's mostly physical. I get the tight throat, like a choking sensation. It can get pretty intense like almost being strangled, but I can breathe fine, swallow fine. It's like wearing too tight of a shirt collar and someone tightens up when I get more stressed. When it starts to go away, I get a sore throat for a couple of days. Everything is exaggerated like pain, and the muscle tension is insane. I also have major health anxiety now as well. I question everything I take, vitamins and supplements, meds...even things I have taken before in the past with no side-effects. Every pain, twinge or weird sensation makes me wonder what is wrong...what's going to kill me this time?
I tried talking to the first doctor about this and the timing but he said it was a coincidence. Same thing I've heard from others...or my favorite is that "I'm too young". Everything I have going on is "because of anxiety" and I just need to take an anti-depressant, which doesn't feel right to me at all!
Off BCP now, 2 months....bad anxiety this last cycle. I've had 3 cycles since stopping it and they've all been different. Giving it 3 months than hoping to go back to my GYN from 7 years ago than helped me find my hormonal problems before (ovaries not functioning correctly). He didn't think I was too young but I couldn't afford to keep seeing him.
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Hello BlueButterfly and welcome to the forum.
I think the worst part of this hormonal anxiety is that is has a rhythm all it's own and can seem irrational to everyone else. My anxiety and panics begin as physical sensations in my stomach and then I worry about eating.
I use HRT and take an anti depressant but these horrible sensations still occur along with the flushes and sweating.
I hope you soon feel better and that you find a treatment that works for you.
Wishing you well and keep posting.
K.
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My anxiety starts now with an uncomfortable feeling around my rib cage. Not a thought, or anything like that, it just happens.
Like trapped wind would feel, then I find it hard to take a deep breath, my lungs won't fill up,
only when I bend forward, even then it's hard, but when I do, I hold onto it for a few seconds,
I know in my head nothing is going to happen, but I feel this fear, fear of what I don't know,
so I rationalise things in my head, trying to calm the whirlwind that's in my stomach,
Sometimes I get palpitations, not always, but I do get these weird feelings that I can't even describe,
that waft over me, I hate those, and usually get up and do something to try and stop the feeling,
which works well, then I get an upset stomach, which sends me to the toilet a couple times a day.
But overall, it's my breathing that gets me down, it's like everything has tightened up, under my ribs,
chest area, by my shoulder blades, and in my back.
....anxiety is the pits, and I feel for anyone who suffers with it.
Shropshirelass says it's like she's having a battle with herself, that's how I feel, and the only way I deal with it, is to withdraw, go into myself, and often take an antihistamine, that really helps me...
I refuse to take antidepressants or anything like that, not that there's anything wrong with them , it's just that I had a terrible reaction to a couple of them years back, so for me, I'll manage it with antihistamines and mind work.....
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So I have to ask...what antihistamine do you take? I've read this other places that this helps quite a few people. I'm curious as to why but more curious as to what one in particular. I know there's been times in the past that a decongestant and antihistamine got rid of a minor tight throat. I figured it was just an allergy thing.
jillydoll, I understand what you are saying with the tight breathing. It's happened to me a couple of times as well. I'm definitely not a fan of the anxiety. Honestly, if that was gone, I could deal with everything else quite well. Hot flushes...gosh, I can't even remember how long I've had those. It's just almost normal for me to feel my face on fire or suddenly get hot. I miss my testosterone cream. I feel like that helped me in quite a few ways. Can't wait to get into a GYN about it.
I have found some help with acupuncture. It was the only thing that got rid of my tight throat when everything started so I could eat. I couldn't shake it for weeks. First treatment was amazing..the feeling started moving up and down my throat...strangest feeling ever. A couple more treatments and it was pretty much gone or very manageable. Then I was on continuous BCP for a couple of months and that helped a lot with everything but I didn't feel it was what my body needed. I know I need hormones but I need to find the right combo. First, I needed to get off everything to see where my hormones really are. But the tight throat came back a few weeks ago..faded and came back pretty strong with this last cycle. Need to go back to acupuncture but the costs add up. I don't know why finding the right care for this hormonal mess has to be so expensive and so much work.
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Hi Bluebutterfly.
I take Benadryl =Acrivastine. You can take up to 3 per day. They're not supposed to make you drowsy
but they make me sleep well, I take at night, about an hour before bed, and I do seem to sleep well all the time after I've taken one. If my anxiety is really bad like it was the other day, I found I needed to take 2. And although it did make me feel tired in the day time, I seem to get through that, which to be honest I'd rather fight than this bloody anxiety. I do only take one when I feel the symptoms coming on, and that seems to be enough to get rid of it for sometimes up to a week, other times, only a couple of days. It depends how bad the ‘attack' is. If you know what I mean.
I've took the other antihistamine, Cetrazine, (don't know if that's correct spelling) and they made me that tired, I couldn't function. So the Acrivastine are better for me. I'd rather manage it with these, than go on drugs from the doctors.
I too, would be able to manage with everything else if this flipping anxiety was gone. It is THE most horrifying , unsettling, craziest thing I've ever had to deal with. And although I try to explain to my OH about how it makes me feel, no one can understand unless they've been through it themselves.
My anxiety came out the blue on Friday,after having quite a nice settled period, where I felt pretty damn good, started off feeling like trapped wind around my middle, but I didn't take any notice, then the breathing thing started, and by Friday night, it was really bad, so I took an antihistamine at bed time, got up next morning, it was still there, a little, so took another one, by Sunday, it was only there lurking in the background, took another one Sunday evening, now today, it's completely gone. I'm back to normal, for how long, is anyone's guess, but that's how I manage it....
A lot of people take antihistamines for anxiety, as you've probably read, a lot of people take them as a sleeping aid too, apparently that's what's in Night Nurse and stuff like that. You can only try and see,
I only stumbled across it because my consultant at the hospital for my liver condition (auto immune disease) prescribed antihistamines for my itching that I had at that time, and found when I took one which were fexofenadine, it took away my anxiety. So after being Sherlock Holmes I found out people took them all the time for it, so that's what I do...(my itching has stopped now, so don't get anymore from hospital, which did make me too hung over anyway) ...
Sorry, should have said, sometimes I get a headache after I've took them, like in the morning when I get up, but hey ho, I get headaches anyway.....
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Thank you! I did a search this morning and did find some more info about the antihistamine/anxiety thing. But wow, it's great that it works. Definitely giving it a shot. A little harder to get through the day but I'd rather first that than deal with the antidepressants.
I'll have to look at taking it at night more often. I do need my sleep. I'll have to try 2. I've done it before, sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. I love Benadryl because it's so cheap and has honestly always worked better for my allergies than anything else.
I will wake up with headaches sometimes from it...just usually have what I call my Benadryl Hang Over the next morning after taking it though. It's not too bad, like you said, easier than dealing with this horrific anxiety! When it is gone, it's great....I feel so close to 'normal' but I'm just always thinking these "When is it coming back?" Makes it a bit harder to completely let go. My anxiety is giving me anxiety!
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Yep, I know what you mean.
It hangs around like a bad smell doesn't it?
Always wondering when's it coming back, it's always in my head,
And like you say, hard to let go of it.
And yeah, lol, anxiety, makes us have anxiety.....
Bugger....
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Yeah and if I feel calm and almost happy I check myself and think somethings going to go wrong. Can't win!
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Hi ladies
I can really relate to this thread, my anxiety hit me big time back in March out of the blue ... heart racing no appetite whatsoever & chronic insomnia, I lost a stone in a month & I couldn't function at all, so scary! After numerous tests which all came back normal my doctor put it down to menopause & I started my hrt journey, after a few trials I've settled on patches & utrogestan & can honestly say I'm feeling like I'm coming back to life after such a rotten 7 months. Another thing that has really helped I'm sure is a drug called gabapentin for my anxiety ... don't know if any of you ladies have tried it but I call it my don't give a s**t pill & it's really helped me.
Big hugs to you all
Anxiety is the pits!
Kaz xxx
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Anyone else get the feeling that their tongue or throat is swelling? It's happened to me a few times, happening now, but when I've had it checked they didn't see any swelling. It's just a feeling. I think it might be slightly but nothing super noticeable. I've read before of it being an anxiety symptom. Just wish I knew how to get rid of it. It seems like every day I deal with anxiety I'm battling myself and 'instinct'. I have to tell myself "You are fine. Nothing is really actually wrong". It just FEELS like it. Ugh.
It's almost like when I'm dealing with my anxiety, anything that would normally happen feels 100x worse or more painful.
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Yeah Bluebutterfly,
They're just feelings, when I was having chest pains, my anxiety made me worry
that it was something more, like angina or the start of a heart attack, or oh no, I've got heart disease, I've lost count how many times I've sat in my bedroom, or on the toilet (obviously where there's no one else) and had to calm myself down and go through a list of things that tell me I'm ok. Like, I'd say, have you got any other symptom of a heart attack, answer, NO, have you got any other symptom of heart disease, answer NO, and so on and so on. It's our minds running riot with us. Then when I'm satisfied, I'm ok . Go back down stairs and then it starts all over again. It's ridiculous. But that's how it is. My breathing gets affected when my anxiety is there, and it makes me think like I've got some kind of lung disease, but in my logical mind, I know it's just this pesky anxiety making everything tighten up...
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exactly!
I know it is nothing but my brain follows the physical sensations and it's a battle within myself and I never know how long I'll face that battle. I know eventually it'll pass but the fighting is what is exhausting. I feel like my body and mind are always at odd with each other or just completely against me. I did end up in the ER once for my heart. I could not get the pounding to settle down. I had other symptoms as well so it made it harder. But in the end, nothing was going on. But I felt better knowing.
I made run out and get the Rescue Remedy I read people mentioning. I ran across it the other day. It would be wonderful if it worked!
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Yeah tried that,
Didn't work for me, but it might for you. No harm in trying,
anything to get relief.
That's another thing with me, I'm absolutely terrified of going to hospital, you know like you did to be checked out, I don't know why, it's not like I've had any bad experience or anything, so, I have to calm myself down when I've got anxiety, because the thought of going there freaks me out even more. It's bonkers..
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I was in a bad place or I never would have been able to get myself there. DH drove me. I was terrified when they wanted to put an IV in, just in case I had to have any emergency surgery or anything. It was a hard night. But in all, I don't regret going. I'm glad everything was okay and I have that and other things to think back on when I have a weird chest pain or twinge now. It has helped me to separate where the pains and such are coming from. I can tell now that what I thought were flutters are actually at times my esophagus having spasms. It's a strange sensation. Too many things that the sudden onset of anxiety brought on. Or it didn't but everything I feel is just exaggerated now.
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I know,
When we're in our 90s, we'll look back on this and ask how the hell did I ever get through that....lol
What us women have to go through, it sure is crap ent it?
At least you know now that it wasn't anything ‘serious ‘. But still, it's still trauma to us ent it?
And how about your hubby? Bet he was scared to death weren't he?
Wondering what was wrong.
A long and traumatic night for both of you...
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Occasional use of Anti-histamines give me good sleep. I occasionally wake 'hung over' due to the mix I take but it's better than the awful unable-2-get-out-of-bed depression of the 1990s as well as the intense fear that woke me in the early hours :'(. Better now!
Anxiety is the pits. >:( For me it's instant. .......... and breath.
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Glad you feel better now,
Antihistamines do help, and I use them for my anxiety.
But your right, sometimes I feel so hung over in the mornings, feel like
I've been on the pop all night...
But I'd rather feel that, than struggle with all the things that go with the dreaded anxiety.
Hope you sleep better tonight...xx
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Hubby thought I was out of my mind. ;)
Seems to be the consensus around here lately. Last doc visit my daughter had to go with me, she put a paper with "crazy lady" for a name tag on my shirt for the doctor to see. ::) He definitely remembers me. ;D
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At least we've still got our sense of humour.
Without that, I don't know where we'd be....
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It definitely comes and goes! I'd rather laugh at myself than cry out of frustration and hopelessness. But both are around when they feel like it. I really miss the lack of control over my body and mind! Or at least what I thought was control. ;)
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Know what you mean,
I always liked doing what I wanted when I wanted too,
Not anymore, now my body tells me when it's time to go to bed,
or get up, or not sleep at all. And many other things too.
I can cope with my body getting creaky, or my knees hurting, or my neck aching,
It's THE mind, the thoughts, the total negativity that the anxiety brings on that I can't cope with, if anything about getting older/menopause related that brings me down , to my knees is the mind games, the anxiety. For me, it's the worst thing ever...
One day, we'll get total control back, I'm sure of it...
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Today I would describe it as a living Hell. But the anxiety seems to be passing and the depression and exhaustion from fighting it is now taking over. Today I will cry my eyes out. And in a few days, I will probably feel better and maybe even have a break from fighting the anxiety, to hopefully recover enough that I have the mental and emotional capacity to fight it again when it comes back. And just pray ,beg and plead that it will just pass as quickly as it came. But it won't. And I'll do my best to just keep fighting, to just keep pushing through.
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I have taken on the antihistamine thing - very useful!
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BlueButterfly you're not alone - I'm also going through this living hell, the unbearable anxiety followed by exhaustion and depression and a real feeling of despair, as i try desperately to battle my way thru the system to find someone who can offer me some hope that this will end. For me the unbearable anxiety comes every single morning, and the only respite comes thru taking ever increasing doses of diazepam. Because if I don't I know it'll wear me down to the point of planning suicide again, as the only way out. And I don't want that, I have kids and I want to live, but not like this. And yet still my GP won't refer me out of county to a specialist menopause clinic (I live in Devon and there are NO specialist menopause services here) - the best I've achieved so far is a gynaecologist who doesn't seem to be aware that anxiety is a horribly common menopause symptom, and is making random suggestions about what might and might not help.
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racjen - see the suicide thing, completely get it! That type of anxiety and depression is different to anything I have experienced before and I was at my worst when they started me on a Premarian/Provera continuous regime. The whole thing went off the scale and there is a post called "screaming inside" It was very scary. I have changed my regime and so I don't experience it like I did then. This is how I really got into this forum because everyone here was so supportive - you can say what you like when you like. Does your GP know about these thoughts and that you have had them to the planning stage before? If they do then they are seriously not doing their job my not referring you!!!
Please - if your head is starting to scare you at any time - post here - day or night - there is usually someone reading - posting can just divert the mind a tiny bit from the danger zone. Well it helps for me anyway.
Take care :bighug:
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Yes, my GP knows - I've been in her office crying hysterically and been referred to the Mental Health Crisis Team as a result 3 or 4 times now. They acknowledge that it's a physical problem and have written to my GP saying that, and recommending that I be referred to a specialist menopause clinic, but still all I've had is one 15 min appointment with a general gynaecologist who doesn't really seem to have a clue.
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Oh Racken
I'm really angry with your gp- he sounds like a right wanker!! >:(
Is there another doctor you can see at the practice who might refer you out of county? Or would it be possible for you to change practice (I lived in the UK for a number of years and know how difficult that can be) and maybe find a gp who will?
Some gps are terrified they'll get a black mark against their name, I'm sure, if they do refer out of county, just ridiculous!! He might also be someone who secretly hates women and considers them ‘drama queens' - seriously, it happens!! >:(
I do hope you get the help you need, I'm thinking of you xx
:bighug: :bighug:
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Thanks NorthArm, in fact both of the GPs I've been seeing are women! The first one refused to refer me to anyone at all, apart from possibly a psychiatrist if I really insisted (I didn't). Changed to another one in the same practice who's much more sympathetic, and hoped that her referral to a gynaecologist would get me somewhere, but now I'm feeling like it's just a waste of time. If she doesn't recognise my description of anxiety as being a common menopausal symptom she clearly hasn't got a clue. I'm going to go back there this week, armed with another letter written for me by a Senior Mental Health Practitioner in the Crisis Team, which states quite plainly that I need to see a menopause specialist urgently (and he mentions risk of suicide, as I phoned them in a right state last Friday feeling desperate yet again...) Feel like saying I'm not leaving the surgery till I get the referral I need, so if you hear news reports of a 52 year old woman being arrested in a GPs surgery in South Devon that'll be me! x
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Hope the antihistamine helps Ladybt.
I think they just help in relaxing you for a bit,
I don't know about you, but I get shoulder aches, in my neck,
and around my middle when my anxiety is bad...
All tension...
I feel a lot more relaxed when I've took one.....
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I take them at night before bed when my mind is racing - it does seem to help! I've just typed a post for racjen and it seems to have totally disappeared!! its seems to happen when someone is posting at the same time and you hit post! very annoying, its happened before.
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Yep, it's happened to me to....
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Racjen,
I hope you are able to get the help you need. It's so hard getting anyone to listen. >:(
I hate this anxiety. It is messing with my whole body. I don't even know what are separate symptoms anymore. Any time something new aches or happens, I go through this whole Q&A of whether it is anxiety caused or some new issue. But I know so many things have to be hormonal related. The anxiety comes and goes.. it's more physical than mental most of the time...but the physical stuff brings the mind around to convince me I'm going to die. And I'm so exhausted from dealing with it... emotionally and mentally I just want to give up. When it passes, I'm fine other than just waiting for the next anxiety mess. I think the antihistamine works a bit. It helps with the apparent allergies that I get....but I've been tested, no allergies. I don't even know what to think of the random heaviness I feel in my digestion or chest, the strange burning in my mouth or tightness in my throat. It goes away sometimes. I'm starting to wonder about possible silent reflux. Who knows. Need to get back to acupuncture.
I'm sick of hearing how I just need to take some antidepressants. I was told the same thing 7 years ago....kept being told I had depression. I knew it wasn't. It didn't feel like depression. I knew it was hormonal. Finally found a doctor that listened to me and suggested testing hormones before I had to ask. Looking back, I can see I'm going through the same mess again....but thank goodness for an insurance change (US here), I can go back to THAT doctor again and finally have hope again....10 days away. Most excited I think I've ever been to go to a GYN.
And as a side....got a new blanket. Bought a weighted/gravity blanket. They are supposed to help with anxiety, depression, etc. It's described like getting a hug all night long. Not sure if it'll help or not but I'm willing to try. I really don't believe an antidepressant is the right answer yet. My friend suggested it, been helping her get better sleep and she has used it for comfort a lot recently.
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Hello again ladies.
The only thing that depresses me more than my meno problems is the response from some professionals who should know better. As we are aware the menopause is a common occurrence so finding effective and appropriate treatment shouldn't be that hard and yet we are forced to go into battle. It's bizarre and utterly exhausting.
Wishing you all well ladies.
K.
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Will be interested to see how you get on with the blanket Blue Butterfly. I must have spent a fortune on things to help ease anxiety (some with batteries but the effects don't last long!!). Kathleen I totally agree with your despair a the health profession. Last time I was told ' We've given you a good MOT and what you need is a good holiday.....' :-\
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Thoughts on the blanket....well I like it. I'm still waking up in the night but falling back asleep faster and sleeping deeper. Going to give it time. My kids really like it. My teenage son even said it was very comforting. He has some depression so it might be good for him to try a few nights. My daughter loves the thing but kicked it off in her sleep the one night she tried it.
I do sleep warmer with it.... downside. It works right now because the weather is cooler and I love opening the windows at night. Summer might not be so enjoyable. I like the weight...not totally sure why but it reminds me of the old denim quilts I used to have. It isn't as warm as those, thank goodness.
As for anxiety, it's hard to tell right now. I think it'll take awhile to notice that. But I'm slowly sleeping better. It's a step.
I've been told the same thing....a holiday or a massage! ::) Yes I need a massage...I need one every other day for a couple of months but who is going to pay for that?! ;D
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I've been having a bad bout of anxiety for the last few days and Ive been getting this awful burning like feeling in my stomach. Really horrible.
The blanket sounds interesting BB
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Hello ladies.
Shropshirelass - I'm having an anxious day as well so I sympathise. I so wish I had the answers for us but you are not alone. My stomach also feels wrong so I may ask my GP if there is any treatment that would settle it. Until then I'll just have to wait it out as usual. I don't know about you but on the rare occasions the anxiety subsides I really enjoy it, it's like coming up for air!
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
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Thanks Kathleen x. Hope you are feeling better. I'm still not great. My stomach is burning, not sure if its "just" anxiety or its stomach problems aggravated by anxiety. Keep waking up in discomfort, really uncomfortable and gaseous. Horrible. I've been experimenting with my diet but doesn't seem to make a difference. I've consumed many Gaviscon in the last few days. Feel a bit less anxious in myself though, so onward and upward!
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Anxiety can definitely increase heartburn/reflux issues. But reflux can also trigger anxiety. Oh what a mess.
Anxiety usually triggers stomach problems in me so I am not too concerned when it happens during an anxious time. Probiotics and digestive enzymes have lessened those effects for me though. Not gone completely but keeps things closer to normal and my digestion recovers faster.
Been anxious as well. My period can't come fast enough. I need the hormonal shift right now for relief. Need to go wrap up in that blanket and see if it really feels like a constant hug, because that's what I really need right now ..a long, strong hug. And sleep...