Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => New Members => Topic started by: Jeepers on January 26, 2018, 06:04:26 PM
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Hello Everyone
I have always been an anxious person, and now I am struggling to cope, I don't feel like I can go on like this. :'( :'(
I have terrible heath anxiety and am convinced that I have DVT all the time. The trigger was at Christmas, and even though I had a D-Dimer test, the thought that I have DVT is consuming me. I would never be able to take HRT because of this fear.
Last year was a really horrible year, I lost my Dad to Cancer very quickly, and at the time my palpitations were so bad, I thought I was going to die of heart failure every day.
I've got to the point where I cant eat anything with sugar or salt, I have to push myself to exercise loads every day, can't eat meat, of anythig with caffeine.
If I do, I will be punished and die, and I will be leaving my kids and letting them down. And as I am divorced and they are at Uni, I feel so alone, and not safe at all.
I know this all sounds insane, and I wonder if I really am. I have been to no more panic, and it can help a bit, but if I see other people posting their fears, it triggers mine all over again.
I just want it all to stop, so I can be the parent who is strong for my kids. I am so,so tired.
I am so scared, but I can't tell anyone.
Sorry its a bit of a ramble
Physical symptoms
Pain in calf
Pain in joints
Palpitations
feeling like there is a bubbling in my veins
Itchy skin -- same spot every day
Sleep disturbances
thank you for reading, can anyone offer me any advice, or does anyone else feel like I do?
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My heart goes out to you, Jeepers. I'm new to this forum and only just realising the effect that menopause has had on me. I will let someone more experienced reply. Are you in the UK?
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Hi Wendy
Thank you so much for replying, it has brought me to tears.
I know it all sounds unhinged, and it probably is. I can't talk to anyone. You would never know this was me, I have a very busy job with lots of responsibility in the IT sector. I am fast descending into a strange OCD type behaviour. The sight of bacon makes me panic (that would be funny if I weren't in such despair)
Yes, I am in the UK
Thank you so, so much again
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Hi ladies and welcome to the best forum on the planet.
The menopause is a nasty peice of work isn't it.Id say the majority of your worries and symptoms are as a result of hormonal problems but Im no expert.
Your irrational fears are all too rational to you and just about everyone one here myself included have been/still are there.
You need a starting point to try and get things more under YOUR control so could you maybe try a bit more on the meditation side if you say you find “no more panic†helps there's another good app called “calm†that I use maybe try that.
You could also write all this down in an email to dr currie who runs this forum and she will give you top class advice on what options are available to you.
I use transdermal hrt it's a gel that bypasses the liver etc so there's very little risk of dvt happening that's a normal fear to have your not alone in that respect.sometimes I used to swear my mind searched out symptoms to present to me to scare and wind me up it really is a battle of wits between you and your mind but you can stand up to it and you'll get stronger every day knowing you have a bit of support from the great ladies on here so don't be shy and alone keep posting and the more knowledgeable ladies will offer you support and advice.I will be eternally grateful to them.youve brought up 2 kids which is no mean feat as we all know they can be hard work lol so you are a strong lady your just having a blip right now and need some support.keep posting reading and learning it will get better if you point yourself in the right direction to get some support it is there for you.take care xx
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Hi Jeepers,
I'm guessing that you are checking back and looking for advice.
I'm not really qualified to offer much but just wanted you to know that there are people out there who are thinking about you and feeling sympathetic.
I'm sure someone with more experience will be along soon.
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Hi Jeepers and welcome to MM
You are going through a very tough time.
What are your periods like at the moment? Do you get flushes and night sweats?
What you are describing in your post sounds very like post traumatic stress. I believe you are suffering from grief and shock following your fathers death. I'm not surprised that Christmas was a trigger. My fathers death from cancer hit me about a year after he had died.
Please seek some professional help. Write down how you are feeling and take this to your GP - they should be able to help you.
Do keep posting - we are here to support you if we can. You are not alone. DG x
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Hello Jeepers,
Are you feeling any better today?
I think a visit to the doctor might be a good starting point.
I have been a confident and competent driver for many years and now have driving anxiety.
As I live in the middle of nowhere and my job involves driving at least a couple of times a week, it's a real nuisance.
I booked a refresher driving lesson, which had to be cancelled because of the snow. Booked a second and due to a road closure had to cancel again. Now booked again but have to wait for 10 days.
I have a good friend who is a driving instructor and have twice arranged to visit her to talk about it, but she is suffering from cancer and although she said that focusing on my relatively minor issue would be a welcome distraction, she has had to cancel twice as she's been too ill.
I suppose that has put things into perspective a bit, but anxiety is not easy to deal with, is it?
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Hi Jeepers,
Please don't feel alone with your unwelcome thoughts and feelings. I have been brought low in this way and I'm sure many others on here have been through hell as well. I agree that a visit to your doctor is the place to start. I know how real and all-consuming these feelings are, and I sincerely hope you get some relief.
Hugs! xxx
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Hi
thank you all for taking the time to reply. I don't feel quite so alone, so that's a step forward. :)
I have not had a period for over a year, so I guess I am post menopausal? I am 55. I have not had any night sweats ( I have never been a person who sweats much, even when exercising, clammy is as much as I can manage!), I have had the occasional hot flush, and I do prefer to sleep with the window open now.
I do have a problem with bladder leakage though :-(, and was checking out the vSculpt on the shop page of this site.
Wendy, many years ago my sister had a driving phobia. She did get over it eventually, although she never like to do motorway driving. I hope you manage to get your driving mojo back, very frustrating about the cancelled lessons.
I am very reluctant to go the the GP. Last year,when I went about my palpitations, he was less than sympathetic. I tried to tell him about the extreme anxiety I was suffering, an d how I felt and his responses included: "HRT is for women who have hot flushes, not for your symptoms" and "Why are you so driven to exercise and work all the time, concentrate on looking after your father" . He seemed very irritated with me. The last statement really upset me, because I was spending as much time as I could with my Dad, and taking him to all of his appointments. But I wasn't there 24/7, I shared it with my other 3 sisters, and now I can't forgive myself.
I think a lot of the fears about my kids being left alone, is that I am the only stable parent they have. Their father does nothing, contributes nothing, and was a feckless bully for the whole of our marriage. If I were to die, they would be at his mercy. He is a manipulative alcoholic, and I need to be there for them both.
I have just remembered something else. I get sugar crashes sometimes. Usually when I walk the 2.5 miles home from work, I start to feel shaky, clammy ad a bit light headed. I recently had a health check, and my blood sugar level was 37, and it said the ideal was less than 47, so I don't think I am diabetic. I don't smoke and I rarely drink alcohol, once or twice a year I might have a couple of ciders.
I am feeling a little better today, ironically, both of my legs ache muscles and joints (!), and I think it is unlikely that DVT hits both legs at the same time (or is that just crazy thinking again). I went to yoga yesterday, and it was helpful, especially the lying down bit at the end! I was completely in the moment and able to keep my mind empty of anything outside of my instructors soothing voice. I definitely recommend it.
Thank you all so much, its such a relief to be here. I will spend some time this afternoon reading other peoples stories, and hopefully it will 'normalise' (!) some of my strange thought patterns.
xx :thankyou:
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Good morning jeepers you have done well and already are rationalising things that have been happening to you.Your gp sounds a complete w..k..r so just assume he is lol.
I know what you mean about an alcoholic bully my father was with my mother but funny enough not with the children we accepted him warts and all and in his latter days he had dementia and it was us his children who took him in and looked after him for as long as we could till he basically got uncopeable for us and had to be put in a safe place,it's amazing how children cope and adapt so I wouldn't dwell on that if I were you.
Go to another go in your practice and ask to be referred to a gynue or menopause clinic at the very least you should be on treatment for VA as it sounds like your needing it.VA mimics urinary infections/problems and once you start on treatment for that the urinalysis problems very quickly disappear you just need to monitor your urine to ensure no infection so if your not sure get gp to send a sample to the lab,because of VA you'll nearly always have blood in your urine so don't let it alarm you but do get your samples checked anyway.keep up your yoga it'll do you the world of good and you will beat this you'll get plenty support on here just keep posting.take care and well done xx
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Jeepers - I am appalled to hear your experience with your GP - so ‘out of order'.
You are clearly a very responsible, sensitive and caring person and like so many women, feel guilty at the drop of a hat. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT. You clearly care very deeply about your children but to be there for them you need to take care of yourself first and that does mean letting go of the unfounded guilt and anxiety. Like so many of us, and I definitely do this, you are over thinking everything.
I have a son with special needs and I worry terribly about how things will be for him after I've gone. I am trying to teach him everything I can to make him independent of me, so if you are worried about the influence of you husband, you need to help them to be independent of him - you can't protect them from everything. If they can learn strategies of dealing with him and all the negative stuff that life throws at them, then you will worry less. I do hope that doesn't sound patronising - you sound very intelligent and sorted but I just think your are in such bad place right now you may not be thinking straight. If your husband in an alcoholic, then I think there is a charity that offers support for the families of alcoholics - I have a friend whose children had counselling and support from a charity - it may be connected to AA?? There is help out there - you and your children just have to ask for it.
It's great that you exercise well but do you do relaxation techniques?
Could you afford to have some counselling/CBT privately? I had a year of counselling which was very much CBT based and it was one of the best things I ever did. This counselling really helped me through a very traumatic time in my life and the strategies I learned continue to help. You do need to find someone that you can trust and relate to well - so perhaps ask for some recommendations?
You might well benefit from some HRT - it's worth trying. If your GP is so insensitive I'm not surprised you don't want to go to him for help. Is there another doctor at the GP practise you could see or maybe move to a different surgery, if there is one in your area? You may need to simply write everything down, state very clearly that you have done some good research on this site and you want to try HRT. If the GP won't prescribe, then ask for a referral.
A very good GP at my local practise recommended the book ‘ Mindfulness' by Mark Williams and Dr Danny Penman - I found this really good, so if you haven't looked into Mindfulness, then I do advice your try it. Mindfulness is about training yourself to create that peaceful time, like you get at the end of your Yoga class, but several times a day - so whenever some anxiety emerges, you simply go into your Mindfulness mode.
Take care. DG x
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My heart goes out to you too.
You are not alone and all that you feel is normal for what you are goling through.
When you read the entries on this forum you see that everyone has a story to tell and as bad as it is at this time, it really will get better with the proper help.
Please take the advice given above it is all good stuff that I can testify to, having battled for a referral to a menopause clinic (which was the best thing) as the gps, most of them, really are clueless. Dr currie advice line for the £25 is invaluable and worth the price paid.
Grief is such a personal thing and different for everyone, it takes time and no wonder it has contributed to everything you are going through, be gentle with yourself.
You have actually given me some advice in respect of yoga. I have never tried it. It always looked too relaxed and I always felt I should be doing something aerobic with my time at the gym. What, however, I read here is that it is good not only for the body but for the mind. Back in 1986 after my mum had died suddenly, I was all over the place with grief and I think depression set in then, but no one had ever really heard of it where I came from and no one had bereavement counscelling. The dr at that time suggested I buy a book on yoga(nowhere did it them) i hadnt a clue what it was?? Needless to say reading it in a book did little for me. It is good to talk and bereavement counscelling can be so good, for some.
You keep reading and posting here and you will get the feeling of a hug from afar that you dont want to end.
Hugs and smiles from across the miles xxx
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Hi! Meno makes our fears and anxieties more intense. I had a terrible fear of aging and death when I started menopause 6 months ago. That made me insane and very emotional.
I didn't recognize myself, I wanted to give up my work and my self confidence was too low. I felt like a failure and completely lost.
My gyn putted me immediately on hrt due to my young age and the severity of my symptoms. After that I was thinking about breast cancer risks. I became obsessed with my health and finally I gave up.
I adjusted to the new reality and I try not to think too much.
It's important to accept that we cannot control everything and to do our best day to day! You are not alone! 🌹
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Hi Jeepers,
A DVT wouldn't necessarily rule out HRT, I had a dvt and was allowed low dose transdermal hrt via my hospital consultant. Plus I didn't have hot flushes either. Far and away my worst symptoms were the mental aspects
X
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Hello Jeepers,
Hope you managed to see a different GP and you are right, this is such a supportive forum. I've only just joined but managed to tell my husband about my issues with anxiety and depression (diagnosed over a year ago!) after receiving such support from these lovely ladies because I finally felt less alone and like there was some hope and I could see a very small light at the end of the tunnel, but a light none the less. There is hope but you have to get help, but clearly your GP is less than sensitive, may be an idea to see another one or change practice. Not all GPs are the same, I went to see mine feeling like I was losing it and she was the one who said I was depressed, I dont think I'd still be here without her care, and you deserve good/sensitive care too. Take care of yourself x
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I haven't read all the replies. Do get support from AA - there is a group across the UK for relatives/partners/children who have alcoholics in their family. There are groups for teens too I believe? You can speak with a group or a solicitor about the care of them if you don't want their father to be involved, however: do they have a relationship with them? It is probably different to your view point. Are they at an age that you can talk your fears and worries through with them?
As for sugar dips - do try to eat every 3 hours, 24/7. That is spread out your daily intake over the 24 hours. Also, have nibbles to hand: I use dried fruits and nuts, bananas, Dextrose tablets, porridge or a good quality muesli. Try to eat B4 your body is hungry?
You are cutting out certain foods because it means you maintain a semblance of control. But your body will suffer and I expect that legally, you are aware of that. However, panic isn't logical >:(. Do you think that this stems from your Dad dying so suddenly, in that you need to have some control. Logically you know that if you eat meat nothing bad will happen but it is hard to get out of that mindset!
You could consider contacting MIND, some areas have walk-in centres where they provide a cuppa and a listening ear. There is also a nation-wide group: Cruise : run by bereaved people for bereaved people, you may find it helpful to contact them, though they do have a waiting list in some counties.
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Hi,
Once again thank you for your support, it is really helping
Sparkle - I'm sorry to hear that you have sugar crashes too. To be honest, I can remember having these before, I don't think they are new. I had them when my kids were babies and/or I was pregnant. I will definitely keep a Freddo in my bag (and try not to scoff it unless needed !).
Sunshine - Yoga, yes, I would definitely recommend it. It can be as tough or as easy as you make it, but it really helps with the anxiety. And of course helping to keep us more supple and stronger
DaisyDot I don't know what VA is, and I'm scare to find out.
Do you think I can contact a support group for families of alcoholics, even though I have been divorced for 8 years? That said, when my Dad died, the Hospice offered bereavement counseling, and I wonder if that's still available? I don't know if there is a time limit on these things
Yes, HA is really dibiltating. Today , I am obsessing about the pains in my toes. I get a sort of burning sensation and
pins and needles. I was dismayed to read on NHS website that this can be linked to diabetes. I wobnder whether I should get checked again? Or is it just another Meno thing? I don't think I am high risk of diabetes. I'm about 10 -14 pounds overweight, but other than that, I lead a healthy lifestyle.
My ankles were really aching last night as well. Soemtimes its my wrists. I did have Carpal Tunnel syndrome when I was pregnant too,
so wondering whether it could be hormone related?
I would like to go to the doctors, but I live in an area where it is nearly impossible to get a GP aoopintment, and a lot of surgeries have closed their books for new registrations, or only take people from certain postcodes.
I did look up Menopause clinics, and there is one based at the local hospital. Don't know if it is private or linked to the NHS, and so would need a referral. I'm going too try to find out. My current surgery has really gone down hill. There used to be 5 doctors, 2 female, but now there are only the three male doctors left. They all seem to be grumpy, overworked and jaded, so they just want you in and out as soon as possible. I have taken out private medical care, but most things still need a referral from them.
I will start a list of things I can do, and as you say Emerald w can't control everything, I need to keep telling myself.
Thank you all you lovely ladies. Today is my Dads birthday, and its been hard, but coming here has given me some hope.
finally, has anyone tried Kalms? If so, do they help?
Jeepers xxxxxxxxxxxx
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Hi CKLD
I think you posted as I was typing my post.
My Dad was diagnosed with cancer, and six weeks later he died. We were with him when he died, and I think it has really knocked me for six. I don't want to go into the details, but it was fairly traumatic, not at all like in the films. It may have a bearing, I don't really know.
As for my kids Dad, one of my daughters does, but the other has grown to see him for what he is. Its very sad for her, but she now understands what I went through, and why I had to do what I did. I can't tell her my worries, as she suffers from anxiety, probably as a result of the life we led when he was still around, and partly as she has a B12 deficiency. So, I try to be strong and supportive for her. My other daughter sadly continues to be manipulated by him, but he is her Dad, and I respect her right to have a relationship with him.
I will check out some of the things you suggested, thank you so much :thankyou:
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OK - don't be scared. Knowledge is power ;-)
Vaginal atrophy threads are full of experience. If you know what causes the symptoms: i.e. repeated urine infection-time feelings : you can deal with it. Appropriate treatment may be necessary which your Practice Nurse or GP can advise you about. Used every night for 2 weeks then as necessary means that the vagina keeps moist. Dryness can cause itchiness ........... but treatment really can help. There are other preparations which other ladies can advise about.
Can your daughter access support for her anxiety? Either via the GP, or by visiting a MIND walk-in Centre (details from your local web-site), or maybe looking at one of the various self-help groups on-line. There are also groups for teens where they give support to each other. Your Library or GP Surgery may well have details, if not Samaritans probably do.
The other daughter probably needs to work out her Dad for herself. My view point on my Dad has altered as I have grown older, with more knowledge ..... what I forgot was that he and Mum had friends and a relationship prior to my arrival and they didn't leave those habits behind!
Be kind to you. You have had a sudden bereavement and regardless of the relationship with the person who dies, it can be trumatic! So much to say, so much left unsaid .........
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Hi All
I will check out the VA, but I haven;t had any infections that I know about, ans not been itchy in that area.
My anxiety is really spiking at the moment, the reason is a health one, but not Meno related. Am I allowed to post about it here? Or is it strictly Meno things?
Daughter has had her B12 injections, so I am hoping that she will feel better. She did say she is going back to the GP,but I know she is already on anti anxiety meds.
I think the menopause clinic is definitely a private clinic, but I don't have the emotional energy to get in touch. :-(
Thank you so much for all of the support, I am so, so grateful xx
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You can discuss anything here. Maybe continue on this thread so that you don't get 'lost'
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Hi,
thank you.
I had a skin check this week, and when I got the results they said that on lesion has some of the characteristics of a BCC, and I need to have further consultation with the view to having a biopsy. It was a shock, and I am really scared about it. I have managed to get an appointment through my health insurance for next week, so hopefully I can cope until then. I am a pale freckly person, and like most people who grew up in the Seventies, had my fair share of getting burned. I also went on holiday to Texas for about 10 years running. Well, I can't change the past, so will have to hope that its not serious.
I have been reading a few threads, and have decided to implement a suggestion of keeping a food/mood/symptoms diary. I haven't had any sugar crashes since I Stopped having one of those Naked Fruit smoothies and Naked date bar for lunch/afternoon snack. I have switched to a protein based snack (with nuts), and just some water with a little fruit infusion.
I would like to contact Mind, as some of the thoughts I have are really weird. For instance, I was in the shower and I thought if I inhaled the steam, it would poison my body. Still can't look at meat. What the hell is wrong with me? I think I am turning into Howard Hughes.
My legs and feet still feel odd, all sorts of pains and aches. And today I had a few shooting pains just above my groin, both sides, wondered if that was my ovaries
I also thought it might be nice to get a massage?
I have a tickly cough too, hope it goes away soon.
Jeepers xx
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Hi Jeepers, just wondering how you are doing?
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Hi Wendy
Lovely to hear from you. Well, my tickly throat has turned into a full blow cold, so feeling a bit rubbish. I did a bit of reading about BCC, and according to the British Association of Dermatologists, and the NHS website, it is almost never life threatening. So, that has lifted my spirits a bit.Hopefully, it wont even be a BCC, but something else.
Feeling achy all over, so not sure whats Meno and whats cold now. Had a few sharp pains in my chest last night, which didn't help my HA.
I have read quite a lot about HRT, but quite honestly, I don't think my Health Anxiety would allow me to do it. I feel like a totally weak coward saying that, but the Anxiety can be crippling, and spirals quickly to something totally irrational.
How is the driving going Wendy? One thing I find makes driving a bit easier , is listening to an Audio book (only really works on longer journeys). It makes the time go quickly, and you become more absorbed in the story than being worried. I don;t find it so distracting that it affects my driving, on a few occasions I have had to re-listen to something, if I have needed to concentrate more on the driving, like at a complicated and busy junction.
Jeepers x
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So Jeepers - maybe get your GP to give you an anti-anxiety medication? For years I have taken a betablocka at night to ease those early morning surges as well as having an emergency anti-anxiety pill as necessary. For years I used Valium 10mg evenings prior to an event I couldn't get out of, even 4 visiting family. Knowing that it worked; and knowing that I could take an extra dose the next morning or mid-day, meant that I never required it. Same as the drug I have to hand these days, it works within 25-40 min.s of anxiety striking. I know it works. I don't have to take any extra. It either relaxes me or knocks me out completely.
For a few years I found that deep breathing did help. Some people find yoga really useful. 4 me it was finding time 2 practice ::).
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Be kind to yourself too. Grief takes it's own path and there is no time limit. :foryou:
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Hi Jeepers, I'm new here today but have just read your thread from the beginning and can relate to a lot of what you've said. It sounds a lot like your grief and the way you lost your dad has taken your health anxiety and stress levels to a new high. This happened to me after I lost my mum many years ago and later on when my dad died. It does feel like your thoughts are spiralling out of control, you can think the silliest of things and wonder if you are going completely mad. But you're not, it will most likely be your oversensitised nerves and mind after everything that has gone on. This can also manifest itself in a physical way so that you get pains all over your body that then cause you to worry about your health even more. If you are having menopausal symptoms on top of all this then you are getting a double whammy bless you.
I do think you will still be able to get grief counselling at this point so it is worth looking into. Doing yoga will definitely help as will relaxation techniques on a daily basis as they will get your stress levels down. A book that really started me on the road to recovery was Peace to nervous suffering by Claire Weekes which I also believe is available as an audio book. It makes you realise that all that you are thinking/feeling is completely normal under the circumstances and that you can, with time and help, recover.
I am sorry that you are experiencing all of this as I know how evil and debilitating health anxiety and stress can be.
It won't hurt to try Kalms btw, they did help me along with relaxation and counselling. Most of all, be kind to yourself and try not to feel guilty over your dad. I felt exactly like that after losing my dad to cancer (also a traumatic end to witness) and I've since realised that it's a normal part of the grieving process.
Hugs xx
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CRUSE have groups in most areas; bereaved helping the bereaved. Do contact your local group as many have long lists.
Anxiety can be over-whelming 4 me :'(.
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Hi Jeepers,
The tone of your last post makes me think you might be feeling a little bit brighter? If so, that's great.
Thanks for the tips about driving, I will try an audio book. I have a refresher driving lesson booked soon, so hoping that will give me a boost.
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Hi all
Thanks for all of your messages
CLKD - I was really interested in the fact that you take beta blockers for Anxiety, and I looked it up on the NHS website (I never google health things, as it can be a trigger). I thought they were only for people with heart conditions. It doesn't list any risks either (just a few side effects, not particularly serious it looks like). And on Friday, I am going to contact the Hospice to see if I can have some bereavement counseling, as it was offered. That will be after my skin consultation, which is at the private hospital right next door to the hospice. thank you for all your advice.
I know exactly what you mean about anxiety being overwhelming, so sorry to hear you feel like that too
Paloma -- I am so sorry to hear about you losing your parents, it is not anything that you can be prepared for is it? And the end is so emblazoned in my mind, I try to remember my Dad before he became ill, and crowd out those terrible, traumatic last hours, but its hard.
Wendy -- I think I am coping a little better, I am very up and down. I have managed to put the BCC thing to the back of my mind, and tell myself, what will be will be. I am not too good at it yet, but I am trying. I feel very isolated at times, as I live on my own.
Very selfishly, I was somewhat elated yesterday, as my younger daughter has intimated that she wants to come home for a year as she will graduate this year, and wants to get a job and save up (I told her she could live with me "free" as long as she IS saving). Is that bad of me? I always try not to lean on my children, that's not their job, but just having her around will help take my focus elsewhere.
Still got this rotten cold too. Lots of aches and pains!
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Hi Jeepers
Losing our parents is so very hard and none of us know how it will affect us when the time comes. It is still early days for you after the loss of your dad. I've read that the grief process can take around four years but of course everyone is different. The end was something I thought about a lot in the early days (it's been ten years since dad died) but with time that became less and memories of dad now are mostly of happier times when he was healthy. This will happen for you but it will take time. I seem to remember the hospice giving my brother an appointment to discuss the way dad died at the end so it might be worth you contacting them.
Re your daughter coming back home I don't think you're being selfish as she is doing it of her own accord. The company will be good for you I'm sure because it's not easy suffering from anxiety when you have people around never mind when you're on your own.
I hope you are feeling better with your cold today x
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Hi
Yes, the cold is almost gone now. Which is good, but unfortunately my HA is still spinning me out of control. Its like I HAVE to keep torturing myself. I have managed to keep the BCC thing out of my mind, and something else has just rushed in to fill the void. I have been obsessing about my heart. I have a fitbit Charge 2, and have a resting bpm of between 52 & 56, which is less than normal apparently (between 60 & 100). Anyway, sitting downstairs last night I noticed that it went down to 48! Which really freaked me out. I couldn't stop checking it all the time I was wondering if my heart was just going to get slower and slower until it stopped.
I think I need to stop wearing it, as its causing me so much stress, which is ironically bad for your heart!
My world seems to be getting smaller and smaller, I have given up a sport I loved after a trigger event with it before Christmas, and lost a whole group of friends. I am also alienated from most of my family now (siblings), after my Dad died.
I have also noticed that I seem to have tinnitus now.
On a positive note, my joint aches have eased a bit, still getting that weird sensation of bubbles popping under my skin, does anyone else get that?
I have the whole day off tomorrow, so I am hoping to get some counseling sorted out for both the bereavement and the Anxiety. And Paloma, I will order that book :thankyou:
Jeepers x
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After the rain, a rainbow will come and the sun will shine on you once again. Keep going you are doing just fine things will fall back in place for you just give it time xxxx
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Hi Sunshine
Thanks for your message, it brought tears to my eyes. :-*
I'm just back from the dermatologist now. He said it doesn't look like a BCC, but wasn't quite sure what it was, so has suggested a biopsy/ ITs small, so they will remove the whole thing then send it away for analysis. He seemed very relaxed about it, and said it could have been an insect bite which has left soe residual lesion, but he didn't think it looked too suspicious.
so, today is a good day. No rainbow yet, but a very small gap in the clouds for a tiny bit of sunshine. :-)
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That's good to hear and a step in the right direction.My friend Andy's favourite quote is by JR R Tolkien:
Darkness must pass
A new day will come
And when the sun shines
It will shine out the clearer
Nothing stays the same you do cycle out of things. I have after being in such a dark place this time last year. It is just a question of getting the right balance whether it be treatment/therapy whatever works and give it time.
Not to beat yourself up if you dont feel like doing anything or feel like you are alienating yourself, that's just normal when you are suffering. I did all that through losing parents and depression/anxiety/low confidence all of that awful debilitating stuff. When you are completely well you come back to life again and they are there, the ones who matter. Give yourself time.
My friend's daughter came back to live with her after uni, is working and saving for a deposit, she does not give rent.
Keep going and a bit more sun will start slowly coming through and if other dark days come you know they will pass as you have seen that gap.
xxx
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How are you doing Jeepers?
Bring me sunshine is so right about the time thing. After what you've been through your health anxiety is bound to be worse but it will get better with time. Have you tried the Kalms yet, regularly through the day? They might just help to get those stress levels down a little.
Weirdly you are in the same situation as me by the sounds of it as I have also been estranged from my siblings since dad died. Now, when you need your family around more than ever it can be tough so keep posting and sharing here.
You will get through this x
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Hi
Sorry I have been away, I am just not doing too well
Things feel just awful at the moment, so much so that I was all set to see if perhaps HRT is the way to go.
I then read a lot more threads on here, and came across one from a lady called Eliza, who said her two sisters have been having a really bad time to
come off HRT now that they are in their sixties. So I feel conflicted again. I really don't know what to do for the best
I am so miserable with everything. On Sunday evening, and then again last night, I was sitting on the sofa and I suddenly felt
really dizzy and it felt like I was about to faint. I didn't, but it really scared me. I quite often feel light headed anyway.
Watching the TV, there is a commercial telling people about FAST, and the signs of strokes. Now I am thinking that I will just
have a stroke or heart failure, and because I live alone, no-one will find me. I keep tidying up so if I die I won't shame my kids!
So current symptoms:
Anxiety
Weak bladder
Dizzy
Aching in joints
Muscle pains
Palpitations
Light headed
Generally feeling crap
I just feel like my world is getting smaller, and I don't feel like me anymore. I fact, I keep having thoughts that this is the
end.
I feel really sad barbecue I always hoped that I might meet someone and have a relationship. That seems unlikely now. Wo would want to spend time with
me? :'(
Before I freaked myself out, I was thinking that maybe the trans dermal gel looked like possibly a way to go? But there is so much to
consider, I get overwhelmed. Work has been stressful, I haven't had a lunch break for two weeks, so trying to get my head around all of
this too, I just don't have the energy.
I don't seem to get hot flushes either, so the doctor might just say no, so hard to know what to do next. Can anyone give me advice on how best to approach the
doctor? Our practice has three middle aged male doctors, and I don't anticipate getting a lot of understanding from them
Sorry to be such a downer
Jeepers
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Hi jeepers I'm so sorry your feeling like this but I promise you it does get better with the right treatment you just need to find that inner strength to search it out.spend £25 on an email to dr currie for advice and print it out to take to the gp and that's a great starting point for you it saves you trying to put your story to them when your at a loss as where to start,I've been there too and it's not easy you just dry up and hide behind meno brain.all your symptoms listed and more have been on my list and I thought my life was going to be like that Indefinately, worst thing is I'd been on hrt previously for a couple of years and gp took me off it for the next five years I didn't even notice what was happening to me because it was a gradual creep then I suffered severe head trauma and couldn't cope with all the other meno stuff on top and I just had that light bulb moment when I said right sod this enough is enough I want the old me back,I was like a decrepid old woman before my time struggling daily to just function,I got no help from the medical system here just stitched up and dumped.fight to get your life back.
all I take hrt wise now is one squirt of Oestrogel and vagifem and sometimes I used oestriol cream to help with the healing process I was so bad I was bleeding.dont let it get a grip like I did.iIm 99% well now I can't help the head trauma that's still on going for me but I've made sure it'll never happen again,another meno symptom I'm afraid.since hrt no more falling and dizziness thank god.there is light there but you'll need to fight for it,do the dr currie thing first if your not confident about how to approach your gp that's what helped me initially.good luck and keep us updated xx
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Hi Jeepers
So sorry to hear we are having such a crap time. It is so easy for me to say it will get better but it will.
I dont know where you live but you really could do with seeing a menopause expert. I know the one in Oxford will see people from other areas if their doctors allow it but you may not be anywhere near there. Try and find out if there is an NHS one near you. There is always the Dr Currie option mentioned in earlier posts, she is amazing. Dont put off going to the doctors and you go in and tell the male gp exactly how you feel and that you need referring they may be better than you think, you just need to go and broach the subject. Print off information on hrt and take it with you if you feel it may help, but go.
I dont know what your work is or if you get sick pay etc... but it does sound like you need some time out for you to get some balance back perhaps the gp can sign you off for a short while so you can rest and concentrate just on getting better. I had to take 8 months off last year.
As for transdermal gel. It has worked wonders for me (the tablets gave me migraines) as soon as the right level of gel kicked in I havent had any problems at all in fact I feel 100% well. If I compare this me to me this time last year when I was suicidal with depression, its quite hard to believe.
My original symptons did not include hot flushes, I have never had one. My symptons were depression, anxiety, muscle pains, couldnt be arsed doing anything, withdrawal from friends, no concentration at work, no confidence, couldnt work.
I have no intention of ever coming off hrt and according to the menopause specialist I see, they told me there is no reason for me to ever come off.
Please dont give up it really truly does get better you just need the right help!
Take good care and stay in touch xxxxx
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Hello Jeepers
I am very sorry to hear about your father. I became very ill after my father died in the same circumstances and held in all the grief for a year, which made me very ill in the way you have described. So as well as the menopause, you are obviously, quite rightly, still grieving for your father.
I have been having severe anxiety and near panic attacks due to an issue with my mouth. I have not even been able to tell my OH or my best friend how anxious I was feeling, as I knew talking about it would trigger a panic attack, so I understand totally where you are coming from. I wasn't able to speak properly anyway with the dry mouth and that would cause me even more anxiety. I have tried all my usual walks etc that I use to cope with anxiety, nothing working, as nothing took my mind of the mouth issue. Online has been my only release and I have had a lot of help (thank you A), this is a wonderful forum.
However, I couldn't go on as I was and yesterday I went to the Dr. I am not able to take HRT at the moment, but my Dr prescribed SSI (?) Mirtazapine, which is to help with anxiety, panic attacks and menopausal symptoms. Took the first one last night and as suspected, my mouth is even more dry, but I am not anxious about it, so the one tab seems to have worked already. I swear I did not have as many night heats, I am never able to sleep through them, I don't think any of us can and I managed to sleep. I have not slept in a long, long time because of the night heats. I feel a bit like a zombie today, but you always do after finally sleeping after being deprived for so long. I will take it earlier tonight and then hopefully that may help. When I was in the Drs yesterday, I could hardly hold myself up. Anxiety does that to you also, so I understand how exhausted you are. Nothing left in the engine. I have been trying to keep myself in perpetual motion to keep the panic attacks at bay, so I understand the exercising, but I think you may be pushing yourself to exhaustion. I have CFS/ME and I have to pace and rest and I knew keeping on the go was not sustainable and it wasn't helping. Treat yourself to some rest if possible, tricky I know when all those thoughts are swirling through your head (I listen to calming music).
Whenever I feel at my worst, I lie down, although I do realise that is not always an option for someone.
I am only planning to take these short term, although I will be directed by my Dr, until the hospital appointments come through regarding my mouth, but if they help me through this tricky spot, so be it!
Please, please go to your Dr, you need to break this vicious circle with possibly HRT or medication and they will be able to put your fears to rest with regard to DVT.
Good luck Jeepers x
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Hello Jeepers.
My issues are very similar to yours and I completely sympathise.
You've had some excellent responses from the wonderful ladies on the forum but I thought I'd say that your male, middle aged GPs may be more understanding than you think. Back in the day my doctor asked me if I wanted HRT before I'd had any symptoms at all ( those were the days ) and I learned that his wife had struggled with her meno and finding the right HRT so he was familiar with the whole shebang! Also every other male doctor has been equally supportive.
I hope you get the treatment that you need, this time of life is traumatic for some of us but with MM you are never alone.
Take care.
K.
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Hi
Thank you all so,so much for replying, it is humbling and so lovely that you have taken the time.
Daisydot -- sorry to hear you have had a head injury, I hope you are getting better now? I get dizzy a lot, I hope I don't fall or faint. I am going to spend some time this weekend composing an email to Dr Currie, but its hard to know where to begin isn't it? Today I have had a headache all day. Not severe, but definitely there. Also the back of my neck and top of my shoulders is aching, so I am definitely feeling like a decrepit old woman..
Sunshine -- I don't get sick pay. I am an independent IT contractor, so no show, no dough. Added to that we have had a serious incident on the platform I look after, and the other chap who does the same role as me has been off sick. I have been working stupid crazy hours, but to be honest, I am frightened of taking time off, as that's when my anxiety goes into orbit. I had two weeks off at Christmas, and spent the whole time torturing myself that I had a DVT. (The trigger was a scuba diving trip, and I haven't been back to my scuba club since). I cram as much into my hours as I can, and end up exhausted, but I don't know how to stop and find my inner peace.
I live less than 30 miles from Oxford, so it may be an option? I will try to find out.
Reading a bit more about the Oestrogel, I think you need a progesterone treatment too, is that right?
Knorman -- I know exactly what you mean, and although I am so sorry to hear that you feel like that too, it is a relief to know that I am not alone, and other people can understand. I never talk to anyone about anything, I have three sisters and a Mum, and have never, in all my life discussed periods with them! Everyone thinks I am this strong independent single parent, but I am a mess inside. I don't want to let anyone down. I hoe you get a good result with your mouth, and you get some sleep soon.
Kathleen -- you are very luck to have a Dr like that. I will try one of the other two doctors, not the one who was horrible to me last year, and see how that goes.
We used to have a woman DR, she specialised in gynae things, but she has long gone. So are you on HRT now? What are you using, and is it helping?
On a more upbeat note, I had a date last night, and I have another tomorrow with a different chap. I feel such a fraud when I got complimented, I wanted to say "Its all smoke and mirrors you know", but I didn't. I think I'm kidding myself.
Anyway, thank you all again so much, it makes such a difference coming onto this forum. XXXX
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Sorry - didn't get back - my GP prescribed betablockas as they ease anxiety surges. I used to take 80mg at night, then it was 40mg twice a day, then 40 at night; then I had background headaches after about 5 years so dropped it to 20mg at night. Job Done!
Feeling 'dizzy' maybe due to a nerve that gets trapped in the back of the neck, signs of normal ageing. Mine makes me go 'oh!' then the feeling has gone ::)
Enjoy your date ;)
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You are going in the right direction. Yes that is right about the progestorone and mine is delivered via the merina coil.
The JR Menopause unit at Oxford may well be an option as I am under them and I live 23 miles away. The email for the specialist to be referred to is: [email protected]
Its great you are having dates that's a really positive step too.
The inner peace will come as soon as you are feeling better. You are pursuing things which is super.
Keep going and dont quit x
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I hope you had fun on your dates, some fun is just what you need! You are very hard on yourself, I think everyone is smoke and mirrors to a certain extent, especially whilst we go through this very odd phase. What are the usual things you like to do other than scuba dive? Try and put some more energy into doing nice stuff. I've always thought work is an excellent way to forget problems and to immerse yourself, but if work is stressful as well at the moment, you really are not getting that break from that treadmill that you sorely need. Once the better weather comes, I am sure that will help to pick you up. I made the most of it yesterday and spent as much time outdoors as possible (the ironing can wait) knowing that Siberia was due to arrive again this weekend!
My mum has always said that our bodies do the weirdest things to us when we are anxious and stressed and I do think if you go to the Dr and find something to reduce your anxiety, be it HRT or medication to help you through, I think your symptoms will start to calm down as well. It sounds as if you are starting to make progress already and even tiny little steps in the right direction make all the difference. x
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Well done on the date Jeepers that alone will make you feel human again I'm so pleased for you that took guts.id plod away with the meds for the time being if I was you as you will find that as soon as you resolve that sleep deprivation your life will change,grab naps when you can and if your awake in the wee hours then big deal watch a film or read a good book but keep napping and rest your mind that's the secret to better health,good luck you will get there xx
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Worrying about not sleeping starts a circle of "will I sleep tonight", "what if I don't sleep tonight" :-\ ......... I dropped off this afternoon during MotoGP qualifying ::) ........ feel rested now.
Stay safe! :safe:
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That emoji is hilarious!!!!
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Really feel for you- menopause is bloody awful- and most people don't understand what you are going through and even make jokes about it- I feel like a hypochondriac most days but think it's all part and parcel of the menopause. Hope you feel better soon 😘
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Hi All
Thank you for all your replies. Yesterday was quite a good day. I went to yoga, which I have really missed (I haven't been to any fitness classes for nearly three weeks following the biopsy on my shoulder). My nexk and shoulder were not aching so much, and I think the stressful time it has been at work may be part of the reason its een so bad. That said, its back a bit today, so I have booked a sessions with a chiropractor in the week. Am still taking my Vit D and Calcium, and have added Magnesium to the mix. I was taking Omega 3, but stopped when I read that it could cause prostate cancer (I know, I know. I don't have one (and even I am laughing as I type this, but it made me wonder if suddenly they will find it causes other things too).
In the afternoon, I baked bread and a banana loaf, had a long soak in the bath, and was able to feel less anxious , which was really nice, even if not a permanent state of affairs.
I have managed to get a bit more sleep, and thanks to the snow and bad weather, I have managed to get a few things done at home, which is making me feel a little less overwhelmed.
Knorman -- Yes, I did have a lot of hobbies (always pushing myself). I scuba dived, member of canoe club, climbed (I am a member of a climbing wall and have a group of wonderful women on my whatsapp who climb twice a week), go to the gym 4-5 times a week, and played classical guitar. Well, when I said my world was getting smaller -- Did not go to canoe club last year after my Dad died, never seem to get the time to go to the climbing wall, Diving not since Christmas, and have not picked up my guitar in nearly a year. This is because I was learning a piece to play to my Dad, but I never got the chance, and it broke my heart. (I know my Dad would not want me to give up). I have definitely lost my mojo.
Shame about the guitar, as it was quite cathartic.
lovesflorida -- glad you said that, I thought I was just a miserable biddy, because I hate it if people make jokes about menopausal women.
CLKD - hahahaha, I haven't got that far! I chaste peck and hug at the end of the night, don't think I need any protection just yet. Both of the dates went well, and both have asked to see me again, now I don't know what to do! I'm not even sure if I am capable of a romantic relationship. My walls are very high, and I find it hard to be emotionally vulnerable in that way. But, I don't want meaningless sex either (I would only beat myself up afterwards).
Right, today I AM going to email DR Currie, but Im not sure how to start? Anyone got any pointers?
Oh, yes, almost forgot to mention.. I got my biopsy result yesterday... It was a benign lesion, all harmless. Yes, yesterday was a good day :-D
Jeepers x
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Hi jeepers don't get stressed about your email to dr currie she will correspond with you it's not just a one hit wonder.do a basic introduction outlining the problems your having and give her a bit of history,age where you are in meno,basic medical history ie hysterectomy or not painful periods or not just to help her help you.she will respond with an email asking any relevant questions and then if you've missed anything you can include that she will then give you advice that you can print off and take to gp just giving her recommendations.shell take a few days to get back to you just try and be patient it's worth the wait.good luck xx
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Hi
Well, wouldn't you know it, the email Dr Currie facility is suspended until tomorrow :(
I have been reading a website called My menopause Doctor, and have started wondering if it would be simpler and quicker (albeit more expensive, but hey ho) to just go privately. Reading that website made me feel much more positive about taking the next step. I don't know if there is anywhere nearer to me, and if so, if it will be accessible without a referral. I tried to postcode search thing, and the nearest was Oxford, which is just under 30 miles away.
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If you can afford to go private then don't hesitate it's not worth it.I emailed dr currie printed off email and went armed to gp,he couldn't have been more disinterested,who is this woman he said, plonker.
I then went to private meno expert,changed gps after advice and got pretty much the same response although with a bit of battling and confrontation from both of us we did get there eventually,it's not been easy but I've actually found now I don't need them,with the meno consultants help and my persistence I've got a treatment regime that helps me 99% I just need to solve the :jiggy: problem lol but that's more in my head now I think.Ive got another consultant in mind Louise Newson in Solihull that I'll travel to when I'm ready I have heard good things about her.just keep researching and checking out names till you find someone you can get to easily.its not something you have to do very often and it'll pay you in the long run.good luck xx
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Why not go out with both? A friend has a buddy for theatre, a different one for walking the dogs with, another to go shopping weekly - they are all aware of each other, no secrets enables everyone to do their own thing/s without being under pressure ;)
Glad that your biopsy is FINE!
No point in suffering if you can go privately, however, make sure that the Specialist is Meno-savvy!
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Morning Jeepers
Hold onto that good day and remember it, more will follow. Once we know we can keep a handle on it, it really helps. I'm very pleased to hear that you managed to relax. I also took advantage of the snowy weather and we blitzed the house and sorted through a load of stuff. We have four years of chaos where stuff has built up in the house due to my CFS/ME! Starting to be on top of it certainly does help that overwhelmed feeling.
I agree with CLKD and go out with both. You don't have to be looking for a relationship at this point, just to enjoy someone's company and have some fun.
Good news on your test results! x
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Hi all
Update -- after feeling a bit more in control having decided to take some action, I have come back down to earth with a bump. I emailed the menopause clinic in Solihull and e few days later received a reply saying that their clinic was full, but I was welcome to register for their new clinic that is opening in Stratford early summer. I did register, but now feel like I am in limbo. I don't know if I should look for another clinic? Does anyone have any recommendations for anywhere near to Cheltenham? I don't mind traveling a bit, but I don't want to go to London, as it triggers my anxiety.
Or should I even try my GP? I don't feel very hopeful there.
I will see both dates again. After all, I haven't crossed any lines, so realistically they are just "friends" at the moment. I might even go on a third, if I can muster the enthusiasm. Work continues to be a bit full on, so I don't have a lot of surplus energy.
I bought a mindful book today, which teaches meditation, and comes with a CD with guided meditations. I think if I can get to grips with it, it will make a difference, and maybe the palpitation will decrease, or if not, I will cope with them a little better.
thank you to you all, for being so kind. :thankyou:
Jeepers x
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Hi Jeepers
This was my reply last week
You are going in the right direction. Yes that is right about the progestorone and mine is delivered via the merina coil.
The JR Menopause unit at Oxford may well be an option as I am under them and I live 23 miles away. The email for the specialist to be referred to is: [email protected]
Its great you are having dates that's a really positive step too.
The inner peace will come as soon as you are feeling better. You are pursuing things which is super.
Keep going and dont quit x
Is it worth asking if you can be referred there? its not that far from you and 23 miles away from where I live. They have been super to me!
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Hi Sunshine
Yes, of course you did, sorry, I had completely forgotten. I have emailed today to ask if they would accept a referral from where I am. I also tried to make an appointment with my GP, but it was fully booked (they only book two weeks in advance), so they told me to ring back on Monday to see if I can get one then. Its all a bit of a scrum, but I will try to phone early.
So, still feeling a bit deflated as I really wanted to feel like something was going to happen. I suppose I am just impatient, but feeling rubbish can make you feel like that I suppose?
Today I got really shaky this morning when I popped out for some milk. My hands were shaking, felt like another sugar crash. I'm not sure , but could that be hormone related? I also went dizzy this afternoon, momentarily. All these things are making me feel very anxious, its like a vicious circle.
Daisydot - what is a banana problem?
Jeepers x
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😂😂jeepers you made me blush there it's not a banana problem it's a jiggy problem ( no nookie) serves me right for trying to be clever with emojis lol.xx
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;D Oh, hahaha, Daisydot, that has really made me laugh, and lifted my spirits after a rubbish day.
I'm trying to solve that problem too.... hence the dating.
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Hi Jeepers
You found it in you to bring me some help when I needed it even though your struggling. We have to remember we are strong women who are going through this all together. We don't get dealt anything the big man doesn't think we can't handle (I'm not over religious but I read that somewhere and it stuck with me). Get up tomorrow get some music on get ready and show the world this ain't beating us. Stoopid hormones have nothing on us. Keep smiling and stay strong because when we panic it makes things seem so dark (I'm a right one to talk I'm scared to tell my partner anything incase he thinks I'm bonkers and leaves me) tomorrow is going to be a good day for us all ladies xxx
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Hi Loubie
Thanks for you lovely inspirational message. I'm going to try really hard today. I'm meeting up with a friend for a long dog walk in the country, and I have bought a book on Mindfulness to try to find some inner peace.
Yesterday wasn't a good day. I have been getting chest pains, which sends my anxiety into orbit. They are sharp pains, which come and go quickly, every so often. I keep thinking its my heart and its about to give out. I searched the forum to see if I could fins anyone else posting this , but I can't, which makes me even more anxious. I am tempted to see if I can get an urgent appointment tomorrow, rather than a routine one, which will be weeks away (the chest pains are scary). Or is that selfish? I just feel I can't go on much longer like this .. sorry to be such a downer :'(
Jeepers x
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Hey, where is the chest pain? Is it above, behind or under your breast?
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I've been trying to work that out, but I'm just not sure. Sometimes I have sharp pains behind my left breast, but other times it feels like it is under my sternum, right between the breasts.
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Hi jeepers there's two things that give me excruciating chest pains the first one is underarm deodorants it's like sharp needles going into your breast/chest and arms just shoots right through you out of the blue,the other thing can be shower gel triggers it,not them all just certain ones I react with.
Last week for about two weeks I had the sorest boobs like bloody cannonballs and I assumed it was the hrt but then hubby said the only thing you've done different is restarted your bottles of coconut water drinks so stop them and see what happens,I did that and within three days boob/arm pain was gone so just be logical and try an elimination process change your washing regime watch what your eating or drinking or spraying near those areas it's surprising what can trigger us off as we are so sensitive now.good luck xx
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That could be your oesophagus and stomach so could be digestion related (too much or not enough acid). I would go to your GP to get them to examine where the pain is to be sure and they may prescribe a course of PPIs if gastritis or small ulcer. You can also buy over the counter (Omeprazole etc.) if you want to see if it improves the pain. If it makes it worse then it suggests the opposite, not enough acid, so digestive enzymes can add in acid to help breakdown food that may be regurgitating.
The cause could be hormones causing slow transit, gastric migraines or food sensitivities but get the pain and soreness, if any, healed and then you can work on it not happening again.
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I just read some of your previous posts above and saw you also have a bracycardia (low heart rate). That can be stress related (think it can tie in with the vagus nerve/digestion) but make sure the doc does an ECG as well as pinpointing location of pain in case you need meds to get your heart rate up and stop the dizziness. They also wouldn't prescribe you beta blockers as that reduces your heart rate even more.
Electrolyte balance can also cause heart irregularities so you could also try stopping your mineral supplements to see if that helps, as they can interphere with potassium regulation.
Anyway, get your GP on it all or, if you know they won't have ECG equipment, then you could go to an Urgent Care/A&E at a quieter time of the day as they will do ECG as standard and can have a feel about on your stomach to put your mind at rest.
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Hi
Thanks for the replies, it gave me a lot to think about. I think there may be a few things going on.. It definitely feels like a digestive thing in the centre of my chest, thorax area. I am wondering if the Vit D & Calcium and Magnesium tablets could have triggered it, so I haven't taken them in a few days. The pain in the lower left side of my ribs could be spleen, or, it could be me overdoing things going back to yoga after 3 weeks of no gym. Then added to that my acute anxiety on Friday/Saturday probably did not help the gastric things and was probably the cause of the sharp chest pains.
So, now the left rib soreness does seem to be getting better, I haven't had any sharp chest pains (the one on Saturday night scared me so much I was trembling, so I know my anxiety was sky high). I still have some discomfort in the middle, more like heartburn or sore stomach, but it does seem to be lessening especially as I feel much calmer now. I might try to get some of the Omeprazole tomorrow, as I am working in the town office.
I am going to skip the gym again for a few days, and just do loads of walking, and when I feel completely better, I will just ease myself back in very gently. I'm not sure what to do about the supplements. Maybe a multi vitamin would be better thank the horse tablets I have now (I have not exceeded the dose).
I have also managed to get a doctors appointment for a week next Monday, so that gives me weeks to work out what I am going to say. Maybe even an email to Dr Currie now she is back open for business. And if any of these other symptoms haven't gone completely, I can ask about them too. Knowing I have a plan, and am doing something really helps me to cope.
Another thing, I have had a few hot flushes I think -- no sweating, just a sudden hot feeling that lasts about 20
seconds. Is that what they are?
thank you all for your replies, you have no idea how much it helps. I am sorry to panic.
Jeepers x
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Make a list to take to the appt.!
I'm the Queen of panic attacks :'( :-\
Various aches and pains happen at this time of life. As oestrogen levels drop etc., etc., etc..
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I also can't take the ‘horse' tablets. I react to high dose minerals and vitamins and the calcium can cause me constipation as, it's literally pieces of rock!
Glad you're feeling more in control and stress also increases acid reflux so any de-stressing techniques will help. Walking sounds good!
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Hello
I am now on day 3 of the Omeprazole, and I think it is helping. I still have some pains under my left breast and across my upper stomach but I do feel like they are less intense and less frequent. I felt a little bit hungry today for the first time in a week. I am so hoping it is just a stress induced gastritis episode. I am still getting lots of other intermittent pains in my upper back and other parts of my abdomen. And last night I had a very strange pain between my cheekbone and my temple.
I am trying so hard to be relaxed and upbeat, especially as my kids are home for a few days. But I am struggling. Today I went out to look at some sofas and the thought "why bother, you won't be here to enjoy them," galloped across my mind before I could stop it. I feel close to tears today, and I keep trying to sort my house out so that I don't leave a mess behind me. I think these thoughts may be compounded by the fact it is the first anniversary of my Dads death. I don't know.
Trying to be more proactive... I looked at the Vagifem. So, this is oestrogen. Does that mean you can only have it if you have progesterone as well (assuming you have a womb still). I am still vacillating on the HRT option. I read so much and it just makes me more confused. Most recently I read this, and it made me feel so hopeless:
https://www.newstatesman.com/lifestyle/2015/08/there-wont-be-blood-suzanne-moore-menopause
As always thank you all so much
Jeepers xx
PS My sleep is quite good at the moment, I am getting 6.5 to 7 hours a night.
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Hi Jeepers - I haven't read the link but if the only oestrogen you are taking is local oestrogen in the form of Vagifem or estriol cream then you do not need a progestogen to protect your womb if you still have one as the dose is minute. Most women are on this for life as the symptoms return once you stop using it. As always though, anything you are concerned about and any abnormal bleeding - do consult your doctor.
Hurdity x
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Thanks hurdity
l
I spin my self in circles with all l of this. I think I would like to try it, especially for the bladder problems, and depending on the dating (if I ever get passed 1st base -- actually, I haven't even got to 1st base ;D), for err, other things ! Then I went to the Vagifem website and scared myself silly with the big box telling me that taken estrogen only means I am at greater risk of clots, breast cancer, yadayadayada.
If I decide to try it, do I just ask GP right out? I'm worried that he will think I am trying to do his job for him?
On a separate note, watching Coronation Street (I know, I know!), the storyline with Craig really hit home. I think if I don't do certain things then something bad will happen. It sounds insane, but for example, I think if I use handcream (and my hands are like paper), then I will be punished for being vain, and something bad will happen to me or my kids. I'm not sure if this side to my angsty behaviour is because I am menopausal, or that really I have much more serious mental health problems.
I could list a whole load of behaviours like this. I would love to hear if anyone else feels like this?
Jeepers x
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When I think about it, maybe I am so anxious about my health is because I feel like I deserve something bad to happen, and anything bad that happens is my fault.
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Hi Jeepers
Sorry I havent been on line for a few weeks just been so busy. I just wanted to check if you managed to sort out some bereavement counscelling. Also did you get an appointment to a menopause clinic yet? Just reading some of your latest posts. Firstly when you are feeling this bad your appts to the doctor must be same day; you are not a nuisance and sometimes you do have to tell doctors what you need as you could be more researched than they are particularly in the subject of menopause. This is an emergency its affecting your whole life. The anxiousness can trigger all sorts of things as I have seen with friends of mine, ocd symptons thinking something bad will happen if you do a certain thing, the pains, paranoia and depression.
The anniversary of a death is such a difficult time too you have to wrap yourself in cotton wool so to speak.
The menopause is so complex and can do all sorts of weird things to us. It sent my friend into a physcosis thinking her house was bugged and she was being followed. As soon as she started on the right medication all those worries disappeared.
Nothing suprises me anymore.
You do need to get expert help to sort this out once and for all.
If you had seen how ill I was last year for almost 8 months, not planning anything as I thought I wasnt going to be around. It was so horrendous. I am so well now orgainsing menopause cafes etc etc. However I am only well due to the expert help I received from the menopause clinic and i didnt find the right combination first of all.
You deserve to be well and happy and nothng bad is going to happen but you do need help to get there as I did.
xxx
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Hi Sunshine
Sorry for taking so long to reply, but I have been in Cornwall for a week, and there was no Wifi, and not much mobile signal.
I have managed to get an appointment with the menopause clinic in Stratford on Avon, in 3rd week of June. I have also started using Vagifem and more recently Replens (which has caused a worrying side effect which I hope is normal). I am doing a mindfulness course, and am hoping to do CBT as well soon.
I have even managed to date a nice guy (well he sees nice, but I still feel cautious). Nothing much has happened yet in that department, I am so afraid he will turn out to be a player, or he will not like me when he realises who I really am. Hey ho. I wish my Dad was still here, he used to ask me every time I saw him "Have you got a new man yet?" So, after 8 years, it would have been nice to say "maybe" rather than "I'm okay on my own Dad"
I'd like to think I am not a bad person, I just don't know how.
I am so pleased to hear that you feel better Sunshine, I want to be like you :)
xxx
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Hi Jeepers
The menopause clinic appt is the start of good things to come. Ive never heard of replens but mention all this to the clinic. You can still tell your Dad im sure he is still listening he would be happy for you.
You will start liking you and feeling worthwhile it will come and you will be better like me but mainly like how you should feel, its just around the corner waiting for you to get there........
Good Luck and keep in touch xxxxxxxxxx
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Hi jeepers,
I just wanted to give u light at the end of that very dark tunnel. I was like this last year for 8 months,but I darednt be on my own 24/7,I had to be babysat by my family. I really thought I was going to die,and I wanted to most of the time,I couldn't eat, I lost 3 stone and looked like death,I've never been so scared in my life. I didn't know it was the menopause then,and nor did my dr or the psychiatrist I was referred to.i had my meds changed and asked to try hrt,it was a slow journey,but I got there,I'm still not 100% but I will get there,I'm still trying to get my hrt right and I know I am close. Last year was hell on earth and I just wanted to share my story with u,to let u know u will get there too. Be kind to ur self,u deserve to be happy.
Ps I hope u get to first base soon ;)
Lisa x
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Well said Lisa it's a hard road but you can get there with persistence and support.
Jeepers hang in there till you get to your appointment and hopefully you'll get the help and support you need,I'm 61 verrry soon lol and I'd give anything to have my mum around too,just even for that reassuring cuddle but you know what I'm realising and noticing now,age knows no barriers and I've met so many different people this last wee while and all of them have needed that reassuring cuddle from me,I've been so privelaged to have shared tears and a cuddle with complete strangers I've met on holidays or in Marks and Sparks it's amazing how you come full circle and find from beiing in that needy position yourself you can suddenly be that comforter other people need.keep plodding away that's all we can do and it'll suddenly just click :rofl:
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Hi
Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot. I am better than I was, much less anxious, and sort of coping., although as I said on the other thread, I am struggling to not panic about ongoing gastric problems.
I was all set to take the whole of the summer off, but work have begged (literally) me to stay until the end of the project. I think I'm going to negotiate a 4 day week though, and enjoy some of this glorious sunshine.
I think 1st base has been hit, but I haven't made a home run yet. Suffice to say, I have discovered I still have a libido, which is nice (nice doesn't seem like the right word, but, you know ... :whist:
Jeepers xx