Menopause Matters Forum

General Discussion => One Life, Live it, Celebrate it! => Topic started by: Poppi on February 25, 2017, 04:30:17 PM

Title: hair and beauty
Post by: Poppi on February 25, 2017, 04:30:17 PM
Hello Ladies
I lurk about MM forum (for last 5 years or so) but don't post much. I really want to share a silly thing I've done. To cut a long story short, I cut my own hair 3 weeks ago and it's a mess, I could cry all the time but know it's my own fault(which makes me feel absolutely useless). I am nearly 58, well through the menopause, still have days with lots of hot flushes, but some days not so many, my mood swings are off the scale, we moved house early January and my stress levels are 9/10.
 I have always wanted short pixie-cut hair and had a semi-decent cut week before Christmas. It wasn't really as I wanted but smiled and paid up.Over the last 8 weeks I have snipped a bit here, a bit there and 3 weeks had a go at the back as my neck was very hairy. On top of all this my son is getting married in August, so I'm panicking the photos will look awful. What do I do? (I'm crying my heart out now, why was I so stupid and cut my own hair?)

I have made an appointment with the local hairdresser here for 3 weeks time, but she looked a bit fierce when I made the appointment and I think I'd be better going to a bigger salon (our nearest city is 20 miles away and very easy to get to) when I can confess and see what they suggest.

On the plus side, my skin is lovely due to being able to buy decent skin care brands but it is so hard to focus on thatwith my awful hair. My husband deserves a solid gold medal as he is wonderful and is my soul mate. We don't make love as much as I would like to as I'm very sore and feel so un-sexy, I feel if my hair was better everything else would improve.
Please help me ladies as I don't know what to do for the best.

Thank you in advance,
Poppi x
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: Menomale on February 25, 2017, 05:07:50 PM
Hello Poppi,

While under stress everyone does silly things like that... I often cut my own hair because I don't like going to hairdressers (at least not the ones that are available) and because my long hair is easy to trim but at stressful times I even considered to cut it very short, imagine the outcome!

Depending on how short your hair is now and how fast it grows I think you don't have to worry about  the wedding photos... but if it does not improve until August you can go to a decent hairdresser and have it cut or you can do it now as you have planned and wait to see how it goes until the wedding.

If you still feel uncomfortable with your hair looks you can always wear a lovely hat (but that won't work in bed, I guess  ::))
The lovely skin is a plus, really!

P.S. there are some apps that let you try on different haircuts by uploading your photo.

Good luck!
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: CLKD on February 25, 2017, 05:45:32 PM
Oh I do that after most hair cuts in a salon .......... a bit off the fringe here, then I have to even it up, then ....... how bad is it really?  One stylist in another salon years ago would say "You've laid under the lawn mower again"  ;D, others don't mention that I've been snipping away.

3 weeks is a long while to wait if you are upset. How about seeing if there is a Hair dressing course at your local College, they often have trainees and people go along for free.  Or see if there is a barbers in your area who will know how to cut womens hair, you could probably walk in! in fact, many salons have walk in sessions these days.  If you feel that the person was 'fierce' you won't feel comfortable anyway and you could cancel and start again.

By August this will be sorted ;-).  Many years ago when I wanted a new style I went to an expensive saloon and tried on wigs, so that I could see what might suit/not.

As for the soreness this can be addressed!  As oestrogen levels drop off so the body dries, inside and out which can cause the vagainal skin to thin = itchiness and soreness.  Vaginal atrophy can be treated, have a word with your Practice Nurse - ask for either Vagifem or Ovestin1mg - for me it was like razor blades up there  :o. 

Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: cubagirl on February 25, 2017, 06:53:33 PM
A decent stylist should be able to help.  My one once had someone who did similar, she'd kept cutting chunks off.  Ok her hair was a bit longer.  If he hadn't told me I wouldn't have known. He managed to camouflage the worst bits.  You still have time to get it sorted in time for the wedding.  But do go to a reputable stylist.
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: babyjane on February 26, 2017, 12:57:39 PM
hair grows at a rate of about half an inch a month so that would be three inches by August, quite enough for a hairdresser to work with for the wedding.  If you wanted it a bit longer you can buy clip in hair pieces online and then with a pretty fascinator no one would know anything had happened.

I can relate to not feeling right if your hair is not right, I am terribly vain when it comes to how my hair looks but so far I have resisted the temptation to snip it.  If it is out of shape I just clip it back till I can get a trim.
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: Poppi on February 26, 2017, 04:06:07 PM
Thank you for all your lovely replies!I feel better just reading that I am not alone in snipping here and there (under the lawnmower made me laugh ;D)
Sparkle - your hair sounds exactly like mine, I have never been able to grow it long, wider yes, but no length past my chin!
I'm going to cancel the appointment and go to a bigger salon where I will feel more comfortable.

For the past 2 days I have smothered my hair in conditioner (in the shower), washed my body, rinsed off the conditioner then shampooed, massaging for a good minute. It may be all in my mind, but I'm sure my hair feels less fluffy and has more shine! At least my hair is not falling out, so I should count my blessings!

Feeling brighter today, thank you again !  :)
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: Dancinggirl on February 26, 2017, 04:11:05 PM
Poppi - this really isn't the disaster you think it is.  As others have said, you have plenty of time to sort everything by August.
I used to be a Personal Presentation adviser and getting the hair style right was all part of this.  It's certainly true that as we get older a shorter, ‘pixie',  hairstyle can be youthful and stylish.  I always think Judy Dench's hair looks fabulous and she has very fine hair which must be difficult. However, a hairstyle has to take into account a variety of things:
1. type of hair - is it thick or thin - curly or straight? Is it a good colour?
2.The shape of your face - the hairstyle should be balanced to enhance your best features. Do you need height or width?  A longer face will need the hair to be cut to leave some body around the ears to add width, while a round or squarer face might need some height on top - maybe a bit spiky and gelled!?
3. Easy to maintain - can you wash and go or does the style need lots of styling with a hairdryer and products to keep it looking good? You need to be able to keep the style looking the way you want.
4. Short hair will need cutting very 6 weeks - don't be tempted to cut bits yourself.  If you go for any hair colouring then that will need to be done very regularly as well.

So - when you go to the hairdresser, tell them what facial features you want emphasised  e.g. your eyes or perhaps you have a good jawline or cheekbones. Tell them you want the style to frame your face and be easy to maintain.  Consider some highlights if it would add body and show off your good skin better.  Before the wedding, do take the hat  you are going to wear to the session, so the cut can be appropiate as well.

I really wouldn't go to the local hairdresser if they don't have a good reputation.  Ask around and if there are friends or ladies you know with good hairstyles then ask where they go.  You probably want someone who is a bit more experienced but is still creative and confident. A good hair stylist will really look at your face and hair, listen to your wishes and suggest options. Don't take pictures of hairstyles you like as the model may not have the hair or face shape that you have. I like the idea of uploading your image to try different styles - I'm surprised this isn't available in most hair salons.

A good hairdresser is worth their weight in gold - it may sometimes cost a bit more (not always) but you need to trust that stylist. If you feel you need to snip bits off after the visit to the salon then don't go back.
You've got lots of time to get this right - hair grows quite fast and if you are wanting it short then I'd get to the hairdresser sooner rather than later and at least make it look better right now. DG x
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: CLKD on February 26, 2017, 04:13:44 PM
I have noticed that the girl I go to is charging more each time; the price went up £15.00 in 2 months - also so many are now part of a group spread around an area rather than a personal saloon. 
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: CLKD on February 26, 2017, 04:24:45 PM
I've had a look-see at the web-site of the salon I go to - maybe that's a way to go B4 you make a decision as to where to go?
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: babyjane on February 26, 2017, 05:03:51 PM
I recently went to a new salon after 10 years with the same one.  It had been recommended to me but I was very nervous.  I needn't have been as the stylist was very gentle and attentive, listened more than she cut and did exactly what I wanted, which wasn't much as it was the first time.  I will definitely be going back again  :)
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: babyjane on February 27, 2017, 11:02:17 AM
I hate straighteners, I love my curls but I don't get on well with frizz.  I personally find Argan oil excellent for taming frizz and so natural, not a chemical in sight  :)
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: Annie0710 on March 03, 2017, 01:46:21 PM
If you feel the urge to snip again try a stronghold hairspray (think it's tresemme I loved in a blue and white can) and spray the bits that are annoying you x
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: Poppi on March 04, 2017, 06:19:07 PM
Dancing Girl, that is such good advice - thank you for taking the time to write it all down.

I feel my hair has grown a little and I can give it some body when I'm drying it now! Looking back at Christmas photos it HAS grown, just need to keep away from the snipping at it!
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: Poppi on March 24, 2017, 05:23:08 PM
Well, this is a success story after all my worries! I went to cancel the appointment and the lady was so lovely that I didn't cancel, just checked on the time of appointment. I came out of salon delighted and we have decided on a short, ear/chin length bob for the August wedding  8)!

My next question is can anyone recommend a transfer/waterproof brand of make-up? I don't like the dewy look as I have oily skin and prefer a matt finish but not powdery as that makes me look like I'm wearing the old Max Factor powder in the round navy tin! Rimmel used to do a transfer-proof cream foundation but seems like it is discontinued now. I have mascara sorted but need a bit more make up than that lol  ::)

Any advice greatly appreciated girls!

Poppi x
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: dulciana on September 14, 2017, 06:35:29 AM
Did you ever find what you were looking for, Poppi? 
Dulciana x
Title: Re: hair and beauty
Post by: QueenOfCamelot on September 14, 2018, 05:45:10 PM
No sure whether to reply to this or start a new topic, mods please correct me if needs be but a couple of years ago I got so ittirtaed with my hair I shaved it all off...all of it, bald as a coot and since then have been wearing wigs as my hair is very fine and I lost a lot of it although it is growing back now slowly but surely.  Wigs have ben quite fun!