Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: Justjules on February 11, 2016, 09:10:06 AM
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Hi ladies, sorry for dramatic title but sitting here in tears...can't take this health anxiety anymore. Am convinced I have pancreatic cancer as I have still got pain in left rib and ache and felt lousy over the weekend too which panicked me further. Husband has gone mad with me this morning as he said I am ruining my life and his and he's right. If it is pancreatic cancer, it's the worst one to have because there's no hope of a cure....I know it's stupid to google but the pain/ache all refers to the pancreas and I am thinking that that bad out of nowhere spasm I got just after tea the other week which triggered this off was maybe pancreatitis or the start of cancer. I am absolutely petrified and just want to run away...that dramatic but how I feel. I want to ring and ask that would something amiss have shown up in my blood test the other week...I daren't google that? Otherwise what could this damn thing be...it is worse if I lay on my left side in bed. So sorry for the panic but I am in a dark place. Wondering if the bloomin Sertraline has anything to do with it as not felt right since started the things.
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I've been theere too. The absolute worst thing you can do is google. Your'e looking for reassurance and only the worst case scenarios are on google, never the normal ones!!
Go and talk to your doctor, it's the best thing you can do. Sending you a :bighug:
Libby
x
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Sorry you are in a bad place JJ. I understand how much of a bully HA is- was talking to my therapist last night about HA and she said that symptom swapping is the bully's best tactic as we get caught up in it again and again. You've experienced something unusual for you ( or probably something you've never noticed when not struggling with HA) and latched onto and off it's gone.
You desperately want reassurance that it isn't pancreatic cancer but google and coming on here can't do that - nothing we can say will make any difference and no one can say categorically that you are fine other than your GP so you have to decide whether to make an appointment and be seen to or suffer all the anxiety that you are currently experiencing. I wouldn't normally advocate a doctor's visit but I think that you need to see one as the Sertraline obviously isn't helping enough.
Thinking of you. X
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I have had severe HA since I was a child and would not wish it on anyone as it ruins lives. although with age I am alot better I totally understand how you feel.
I was myself in a bit of a tizzy two weeks ago because of pain under my left ribs - I too have pancreatic cancer taking over my mind - guess what it was - muscular because I have a very bad back with degenerated discs and prolapsed discs. I saw my chiropractor and he worked on my ribs and after 2 sessions the pain under my left rib has gone. So the logical explanation if its connected to your back problems as mine was.
If you have what you think is a sympathetic Gp to Health anxiety then be honest and tell them what your fear is. I now do this with my GP and he then explains why he thinks I am talking nonsense! He also at times even when I am not worrying about some fatal disease symptom he will say " I don't think you have got xxx cancer either because xxxx" and I think blimey I hand't thought of that one!
Your husband will be feeling very very useless - mine explained that many years ago and he too would and still will if I get into total meltdown get very angry with me. He said its the frustration of not being able to help and the totally illogical mindset of someone with HA. We came to agreement that I would talk to him once about my fear and a plan of action but then not keep going on and on about my fear as this is what he could not cope with and I think you will find that you have been going on and on and on at your husband without realising it and he can't reassure you so it comes out in anger.
If you ever want to message me about HA please do as I am lifelong sufferer.x
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I don't know where my pancreas is :-\ …… and who 'says' that it is the worst cancer possible? I know of worse!
I think your GP should refer you for some talking therapy. Someone to listen to your thought processes who can suggest how to divert those thought processes to ease the terror. I remember terror well :'( ………… but I came through with intermittent therapy over 2/3 years.
If your husband is angry then he ought to visit the GP and explain how terrified you get and discuss possibilities of therapy!
:bighug:
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Great post Countrybumpkin. My husband also struggles with my health anxiety because he can't help, and because he can't fully understand why anyone normally rational can go so far off the spectrum of reason when they get a twinge or strange symptom. His attitude is that you deal with things if they happen, and get checked out by doctor if you are concerned. Easy to say and do if you've not got health anxiety but hard when the voice in your head is screaming danger.
You say that you had CBT, JJ- did you cover health anxiety? There's a good book by David Veale on CBT for health anxiety which I've found useful. What is it about your health that matters so much - in my case I feel responsible for everyone and thing so have to be sure I'm ok( I hate uncertainty) -others are frightened of dying and death - you need to unpick what it is that is driven this obsessive worry and then work at telling yourself that it is just a story that your brain is churning out ad infinitum like Groundhog Day. You need to try and ignore it so that you and it get bored with it being there x
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Knowing why you have health anxiety does not always help but it can do if the reason is about control etc. For me it was being exposed to severe illness and death at a very young age and no one explaining anything. So my brain has a pathway like the pavlov dogs experiment that associates any ill health with death. My rational brain knows this is wrong but my 5 year old brain doesn't!
I have had endless therapy over the years from clinical psychology to cbt to hynotherapy and I learnt alot but ultimtely I am told the early experience cannot be removed. I have found that age and a more fatalistic attitude have helped until I get a new symptom!
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Countrybumpkin - my phobia was started within hours of my being born so like you say, ingrained reactions followed me throughout …….. taking over at times. I would shake so badly that the whole bed would shake :sigh: Logic flies out the window :'(.
What are the chances of pancreatic cancer ……… my phobia ruled my Life for years 24/7, I didn't worry about other diseases probably 'cos my brain didn't have space ………. so the chance of catching 'something' = illness was a constant :-X
:bighug:
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This is my weeks example ::) Developed feelings of pressure in my face mainly one side and behind nose and up into forehead with ache in gums and around eyes. Feels like a cold that won't come out, feel gunk running down back of nose into throat but nothing much down my nose itself.
Rational mind says its probably some passing virus, as everyone seems to be ill with something, that is causing inflamed sinuses. I today found someone else who had exactly my symptoms over new year for a few weeks, she had to have a week off work.
The HA part of my brain has already diagnosed me with sinus cancer or a brain tumour!!
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I don't know where my pancreas is :-\ …… and who 'says' that it is the worst cancer possible? I know of worse!
CLKD - As a matter of interest which cancer would be worse than pancreatic cancer?
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Facial cancer :'( ………. fortunately very rare but messy.
Countrybumpkin - if I get heartburn in the early hours I think 'heart'. I lay very still and wait ……… I can't even move in order to wake Himself, in case ……
I have allergic rhinitis (note to self, hoover the bedroom >:( ) but the ulcer on the roof of my mouth must be cancer - except it's been there for 3/4 years ::) and doesn't get any larger. It's the early hours when I'm worse …...
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JJ - hoping you are feeling a little better now. I have been there too, lucky for me the Setraline has helped me no end but maybe not you, some can feel worse on it - as said here sounds like you need a return visit to GP. For me the AD helped the depression but not so much the anxiety so I have gone up to 100g now, only been a week so not cured by any means but I was singing in the car today and realised its been a long time since I did that. Maybe you need to try a different AD?
Keep posting though, from personal experience it helps to know you are not alone, this site was a life saver for me.
Sending you hugs and hope you find some help soon :bighug:
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Justjules,
I understand you. I am struggling with a pain in my side, been for CA125 test today but can't settle for the what ifs😞
You need to see a GP and state yr worries, if only to be reassured . It will only play on yr mind until you do. Why don't you start a diary, it can be comforting to look back on how aches and pains come and go. I do think many are symptoms of menopause that we never really get to the bottom of. I believe my menopause all began with severe pains in my right ribs. It was so bad I thought I had pneumonia but nothing was found and it cleared weeks later. I now think it was a big drop in my oestrogen levels causing problems as a later x Ray showed undiagnosed cracked rib that had healed. HA is a horrible menopause symptom and you need help in whichever way helps you best xxx
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JJ, I'm with you all the way with Health Anxiety. It is truly awful and can take over your life. No matter how folks try to reassure, I find that once I have one illness fixed in my brain, that's it. My BIL died from pancreatic cancer in November, and I have to agree with Sparkle, it is a truly horrid disease, and particularly hard to diagnose. You like me, obviously think of the worst case scenario, and Googling symptoms is such a dangerous thing to do. The pain you have could be many things, bowel problems, gallstones, etc. (or absolutely nothing) but I would suggest, even if it's just to give you peace of mind, to get a doctors appointment, and tell him your fears. The worry that makes your tummy flip all the time is horrid and I really hate myself at times for wasting so much of my life on my problems when I should be getting on and enjoying myself. All the worry and anxiety just brings on so many other horrible symptoms. Get it checked and have some peace of mind.
PS I am struggling at the minute with horrendous ****ly crawly legs (bloods, MRI all clear), but guess what, I back to thinking they have missed some awful progressive Neuro disease. I'm seeing doc in a couple of weeks to check this AGAIN! I was given AD's a while back but haven't taken them, but what are the bets the doctor tells me to start them.
Take care x
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Thanks for all your responses and again, sorry that it is a bit dramatic and may be more appropriate on a different forum but I was desperate. Not had any decent sleep since starting Sertraline either...seems to wake you at same time...around 5:00am and that's it, no more sleep so struggling. Had really rough 4 weeks now trying to accept awful side affects and still see no proper relief and don't want to keep upping dose. Everything is magnified 100% at that time of the morning and by the time I get up, I'm full of anxiety.
Coldethyl, I think my problem is having to be there for everyone else and carry on doing everything....therapist has said this and that no one is nurturing me. My main fear is leaving my youngest son without me as he is the most emotionally vulnerable of my kids, even though he is 28, he is my rock and I am his.
I have been to a funeral today of all days...my friends elderly father. The vicar said he had had a long life and lived it to the full, and I thought I'm just the opposite and I am so very frustrated as I can't see an end to this awful fear of everything. My CBT was all about HA but I can't rationalise and so it won't work!!! Teresa, I don't know how you got to your stage but I would love to be there.
Thanks again all...I just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head but then I will probably be awake even earlier. :'(
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I wake early also, a definite sign of anxiety. Sounds like you need a change of AD, the Sertraline isn't really helping you.
Try a meditation on you tube tonight, helps me relax xx
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I tried Sertraline a couple of years ago for peri anxiety. I stuck with it for nearly 4 weeks but it was a dreadful time. I felt I was getting worse and worse. Very early one morning I woke DH and told him I felt so dreadful that I wanted to die. It scared him so much that he took the day off work to be with me.
We decided I needed to try a different AD. I started Amitriptyline (an AD I'd taken years ago for PND) and within 5 days I was sleeping like a log. It took a few more weeks before my anxiety reduced, but it was a big improvement on how I'd felt on sertraline.
After about 6 weeks on Amitriptyline I felt much more relaxed and chilled out. Almost dreamy. I won't pretend that it cured me, it didn't. My symptoms kept popping back, but were muted.
My GP did admit that some people can't tolerate Sertraline, and it is recognised to increase anxiety in some.
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Jedi and GRL, think it is so confusing that some people say stick with it because it took 8 weeks or 6 weeks or whatever to kick in but I am frightened now of taking another type. I used to take Citalopram no problem but can't now because of contraindications with betablockers .... Amitryptaline is the same unfortunately. Dr said I could wean off betablockers but have been on them 20 years almost for fast heArt rate. X
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I take betablockas (Propranolol) and there are no contraindications with my ADs :-\. Which BB are you on? Have a chat with a Pharmacist perhaps to find out what is on the market? that can be taken with Amitryptaline?
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JJ, I think that whether ADs help actually depends on what is causing the anxiety. For all the talk of serotonin depletion and chemical imbalances, there actually isn't a lot of hard evidence that this is true for most people with anxiety issues ( I seem to recall it may be more true of those with depressive illness and psychoses ) so taking an AD might not actually help that much and might cause you to have worse side effects than what you started off with. I tried sertraline and ended up telling crisis team I wanted to die and was afraid I'd do it, even though I'd not really had suicidal thoughts before so it can cause more agitation in some people. Only you know how bad you feel anxiety wise and if you feel they aren't helping , then switch to another one that might. I still think that long term therapeutic support is needed and am afraid that the usual 8 week tick sheet CBT offered by NHS isn't likely to have made any impact on a long seated issue. I'd go and see GP, talk about med changes and ask what other therapeutic support is available. When anxiety becomes this intense, I think that it is time to move up the support ladder and see teams more experienced in dealing with moderate to severe anxiety than those delivering basic CBT often are. Also it really is worth considering MIND for support as they offer a wide range of counselling styles and whilst CBT is great for symptom relief in short term , like a painkiller, it won't fix the broken leg causing the pain. As sad as it is, you will die at some point, and your son will need to learn to cope on his own. It is not heathy for either of you to be so dependent on one another that what happens when becomes a thing feeding a fear. Perhaps your son would also benefit from some help if you feel he is emotionally vulnerable as that would at least make you feel less responsible for always being well and being there? I made myself very ill by trying to support my son through his own breakdown and it was only when I reached rock bottom and had to let someone else intervene , that he actually was able to learn techniques to support him long after I am not here. Xx
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Waking early is a typical sign of depression. Jedigirl - are you getting good quality sleep until 5.00 a.m.? It might be that you have had 'enough' sleep although we think that we require 8+ hours ;-).
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Sorry to hear you are still having pain and therefore anxiety. I can't remember where you were at with tests? Have they given you a blood test to check for Lipase if the pain is coming from the Pancreas area? There are quite a few organs in that area, stomach, the big bend in the large intestine and of course referred pain. That's why the doc was confused when I had gallstone pain because it was centre to left.
Is the pain constant or does it come and go?
I do hope you can get to see someone soon and get a scan in that area to help find out it's nothing nasty and put your mind at rest.
Take care and try and give your mind a rest, I know it's not easy as I was in panic mode after a positive screening test.
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CLKD I take sotalol 20mg twice daily. New Dr asked why I was on them if I didn't have a heart problem but cardiologist left me on a low dose as my heart rate is usually a bit high. If I want to come off them and try Citalopram again I can but would take a while to wean and therefore too long when anxious already.
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Well after a terrible night of worry, was at Drs as soon as they opened in a right state. It takes a lot for me to go because I hate going but saw a lovely new young lady Dr. Was in there over half an hour and she went through everything with me. Has reassured me that not pancreas related and she isn't worried in the slightest from how I was describing everything and from all bloods being perfectly fine. She did mention that I could have a blood test for specifically pancreas stuff but she stressed that she didn't think it was necessary and would do it just to put my mind at rest but then I said I would get even more anxious waiting for results and she said again, she didn't think I needed it and would be doing it because I was so upset so I have taken her advice. Then came out and immediately started with the 'what ifs'!!! Said how physically ill I felt yesterday but wants me to carry on with the Sertraline for at least another two weeks as she definitely thinks they will help and has referred me back on the CBT waiting list. I THINK I feel reassured and glad I went so now it's just telling my stupid brain to stop terrorising me. :-\
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Well done JustJules. Just keep on reminding yourself of what your lovely doctor said - every time the bad thoughts try to come back. Can you do something nice today and try to keep your mind off anything worrying? Really well done for going.
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Aaah, thank you ladies. I was just so desperate and really thought I would have been sent to the hospital...stupid brain. Hubby just despairs but rang to ask but I could tell he is exasperated.
Yes, just got to keep reminding myself that I need to believe and start trusting Drs a bit.
X
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JJ...As the ladies say you aren't going to stop worrying about this pain until you see a dr for reassurance. There is a blood test Amylase that they check which could put your mind at rest. We sometimes forget the power of the mind and I believe you can trick yourself into any psychosomatic symptom. I try now to live in the moment and tell myself I'm not going to worry or what if! As I've done enough to last a lifetime! It works most of the time. Don't believe everything you think is the key!
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I understand exactly how you feel JJ. If your GP really thought it was anything, they'd have insisted you had test. As it is, they recognised that having the test would only reinforce your belief that only tests and doctors' visits etc. can give you certainty that you are well, when the opposite is true for someone with health anxiety. I've been to GP, thought I am fine and can stop worrying now and come home and started the whole what iffing again so reassurance isn't the answer. What helps is distraction, saying I'll sort this out next week if it's still bad and so on. Glad that they have referred you for further CBT or therapy as a complement to your medication. If the sertraline is not helping in a few more weeks then you can always have a rethink on that. Do try and read the Overcoming Health Anxiety book by David Veale- it's available on Kindle and isn't very expensive. Even if you can't do the CBT stuff ( and I agree that when you are a sufferer, the coming up with rational alternatives is hard if not impossible some days) , it helps, I think, to read that others have been there and that what you are experiencing is normal for someone with HA. I found changing my behaviour first, so not googling, not going to hospital , drs etc. helped me change my thoughts slowly too. I'm with Orchid- so much of our lives are lost to worry and we have to take a stand x
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How lovely of the GP to take time. I suggest relaxation therapy which needs to be practised. I used to fall asleep ::) with a :cat scratch: on my lap but it did give me time to myself.
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Yes, it wasn't what I was expecting as they usually rush you but I will definitely see her again.
Coldethyl, I have read that book, it is good but I've read them all now I think so you would think I would be cured by now :-\ x
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OK:
deep breathing - altogether ;)
Sharp breath in through the nose, wait for 2 counts; release breath slowly as possible from the mouth. Repeat 3 times. Rest.
10 mins. every hour.
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Yes, it wasn't what I was expecting as they usually rush you but I will definitely see her again.
Coldethyl, I have read that book, it is good but I've read them all now I think so you would think I would be cured by now :-\ x
Ok - this isn't meant as a criticism as it is what I say to myself too- you've read them, but have you really done what they suggest? I'm guilty of reading them and thinking that makes sense , then not doing it, or not recognising myself and my actions in the pages. There isn't a cure I don't believe, but ways of making it not the focus of your every waking moment- after all, you do need to see a doctor sometime so you can't just ignore health issues. At the minute, following it going up when I had a bad reaction to the Lutsral, I am worried about my BP- so much so I took myself to GP several weeks ago to be told to stop taking it at home as it was making me worse. So far I've kept to that but it is hard- it feels unsafe, dangerous even and the voice in my head tells me once would be ok and then I'd be happy. So I distract myself, I tell myself if I am worried I can get GP to check it when I have my check in soon and so on. It hasn't stopped it popping into my head, but I can dismiss it more easily.
I think what you need is some very good CBT therapy that focuses on changing not only your thoughts( as my therapist agreed with me that for OCD type thinking which is at heart of HA, challenging and examining thoughts can just focus us too much on them) but your behaviours like googling, or looking at health related sites etc. That way, you are putting into practice all the stuff in those books and telling the bit of your brain that is fixated on health issues that it isn't a big deal. Also CKLd's suggestion of making sure you practice relaxtion techniques daily is a good one- I've really found Mindfulness useful. x
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Thanks Coldethyl. Everything you say makes absolute sense. I really am going to try this time because I really am at the end of my rope with this thing. Feel really quite ill now with it so that's worrying me but I know it will be because I have been in such a state this last few days so need to put into practice what you are saying and distract myself as hard as it is. Yes, it is a form of OCD. I also know I need to stay off google and the health sites but I would miss this forum as it has helped so much but then probably because I am seeking reassurance all the time. x
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The good thing is that you've recognised it and want to do something about it. I know how ill you are probably feeling, I was like that when my fob test came back positive, felt worse than the gallstone attacks. Then the surgeon I saw for the stones, who is also a bowel specialist wasn't at all worried but I'd had two awful weeks in between! I'm still nervous about next week as you just never know but I've had lots to keep me busy but it's always the first thing you think of on waking up.
I think this forum is awesome, it's just nice to know you aren't alone and someone always seems to have been there and got the t-shirt. Take care and I hope you can get help and feel more relaxed and then the pain subsides.
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Because it's written down doesn't make it possible to over-come however much the author tells us it is! otherwise we wouldn't require books, counselling etc. ::)
How's 2-day been?
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Sorry CKLD, yesterday wasn't too bad but still very anxious and can't eat. Tried to do housework today but couldn't. Woke up very panicky this morning. Seriously thinking of not carrying on with this Sertraline. Went on Patient UK earlier and looked it all up and this drug sounds downright dangerous the way it can mess you up for months and some people still aren't right on them after a few years. Would rather be as I was before than suffer like this every day. I am scared to carry on in the hope that week 6 or 7 is suddenly going to be great and then have to try and come off them. Wish the Drs realised what these drugs do to you...can't be right.
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AFter my one try with mitrazapine and having to stop it after 2 weeks I have never tried anything else but i do tend to react to most drugs.
a young friend of mine with HA tried citalopram and she was in an awful state for the 2 weeks before she abandoned it - her anxiety was through the roof, she had almost no sleep. She had very much wanted this drug to help her and she did not have ha around medication so the effects were from the drug itself. She decided that the side effects of the drug were much much worse than her normal worry/anxiety/symptoms and she decided she would rather cope with her usual self!
So don't feel bad if you decide to stop this drug.
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Justjules- not been on here for a while so just caught up with your thread.
I can totally relate to your posts.
I was diagnosed with OCD in 2004 at the age of 43.
It can take on many forms including health anxiety which I had last October.
I was getting bad heartburn everyday and I convinced myself I had stomach cancer,I googled and everything, really frightened myself.
It wasn't until I had seen the doctor and had camera down and got the all clear that I felt better.
I feel for you,I really do.
I'm suffering with OCD again now- negative thoughts going round & round.
Thankfully after my diagnosis, I was put on meds and therapy and I can now manage it but it is so,so,hard. It is a real effort to not get into that cycle and I have to go through the depression and anxiety which is part of the OCD before I come out the other side.
Because my OCD is mainly thoughts and seeking reassurance,no one can see that I have it,so really you could say I'm suffering in silence.
My DH knows I'm not myself at the moment because I have told him,and also that my OCD is there.
There are times when the anxiety gets so bad I want to seek that reassurance to at least feel better but I know that if I start to the cycle will begin again.
I know that seeking will only make me feel better for a little while then the anxiety will start all over again and my DH will also suffer.
Hope this helps in some way.
:bighug:
Dyan X
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>wave Dyan< missed you :-\
However: people don't always react to medication as the drug is designed - beta-blockas for example can have the opposite effects and some ADs make the patient agitated. I know when Dad was prescribed a blue tablet (names escapes me but it is used as a pre-med.) we had to walk miles for days until it was out of his system. [Ativan]. He hardly slept for 3 nights ….. and his writing at that time was really fast and spidery.
Doctors are totally aware of how drugs can affect patients although they probably can't 'feel' the effects. It really is as much Trial and Error for them as it might be for the patient. (what ever the speciality). Which at a time when the patient wants to feel better it can be very difficult to persevere with side-effects. I was unable to tolerate various ADs, no way could I persist …………
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Dyan, thank you for that. I've been told that HA is a form of OCD and I didn't realise that. I am really struggling at the moment - I think this is the worst bout I've had and I just can't see an end to it so that's really getting me down. My ADs aren't doing what I thought they would 6 weeks in so that's also getting me down. I only have a few diazepam left and Dr said no more after this so that's making me panic as they are the only thing I know that calms me down a bit to be able to cope. Gosh, why are we all like this - it's like a bloomin epidemic out there without people realising it!
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Justjules, sending you sympathy from another HA sufferer.
For me, it's only been an issue since my hormones went nuts. I think one thing that would have really helped me (and saved numerous scans, MRIs and consultants visits) is if GPs were more aware of the stranger signs of peri menopause.
I too was someone with terrible rib pain and burping who self-diagnosed pancreatic cancer (didnt help that a colleague was diagnosed with it and died two weeks later - it most certainly is one of the cancers with the lowest survival rates). I then developed tingling in my hands at the same time, so decided it was MS! As I type that, I can see how ridiculous it sounds, but at the time it was very real and very terrifying.
Much later on, a neurologist was the first to say 'is it your hormones?'. He'd seen a number of women in my situation - clear MRI but neurological issues who were around (peri) menopausal age. When I had a nerve conduction study, the doctor actually asked if the pain and weird sensations were linked to my menstrual cycle in any way as, anecdotally, he thought there was a link. I now know the rib pain was linked to nerves in my stomach reacting to changes in hormone levels. (In fact, fluctuating estrogen levels affect over 250 bodily functions!). Needless to say, a few blood tests later, it was confirmed that my hormone levels were awry.
What I am getting at is, yes HA seems to be a symptom of (peri) menopause, but if the less obvious physical symptoms were more widely recognised by GPs, as well as checking for the nasties, our doctors could at least consider hormones too. It wasnt until I first joined this forum and realised other woman had similar physical symptoms (thank you HolidayLover, Sparkle, Dogdoc et al!)that I finally realised I wasnt dying from some random disease; I just had crazy hormones!
B
PS Next time HA strikes, have a quick look at this. I often find it reassuring! http://www.34-menopause-symptoms.com/perimenopause.htm
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You're right Briony, I had no idea how much oestrogen affects so many bodily functions until I joined this forum. The thing is GP's just don't realise and annoyingly women ones as well! You would think a middle aged woman would be on the same wavelength but apparently not! I've now swapped to a younger one but she listens and I tell her interesting stuff!
You would think by now they'd all be a bit better clued up on hormones, let's hope the next generation are better understood.
The thing is it's not just peri, I'm post and on HRT but I still get fluctuations. I've recently lost a few kilos, some off my tum and one or two night flushes have come back as I've lost my extra store. For some it seems it will always be like this :(
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Wombat, I agree.
I did mean in menopause too - peri in brackets was my lazy way of writing both together! x
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Wombat you might find that the return of hot flushes is linked to weight loss as your fatter abdomen would have been helping to maintain slightly higher oestrogen levels which your body was used to- although it was hot flushes that took me to gp along with raging anxiety they got worse as I lost weight due to bloods turning up diabetes - I was at an even level for a bit then the flushes returned as my cycle lengthened.
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Jj , if you really feel much worse on the sertraline it maybe just isn't the medication for you- I know people who swear by it and equally those tormented by it so it really isn't just a case of your anxiety getting the better of you - make an appointment to see gp again and maybe say you'd like to try another type or even nothing- the trouble with HA is that there is always going to be some ache or strange symptom we can latch onto and work up into our dying a terrible death so we have to find ways of switching that intrusive voice off. I had full blown ocd after my son was born and on and off for a few years after that and it was a case of changing my behaviours first and riding out the anxiety that enabled me to see that the voice wasn't my friend at all. Similarly with HA no amount of what seems the logical things to do like reassurance , body scanning and visiting Drs helps- only by not doing our safety behaviours and seeing that we are ok can we start to chip away at it- no one can guarantee that we aren't dying of some as yet diagnosed ailment but we have to live with that uncertainty if we are to live at all- my therapist's masters was about fear of dying and she says that people end up worrying so much about that they are no longer living - I think HA is the same kind of fear- the change throws up so many weird symptoms so it is inevitable we get a bit body focused so we have to work at distraction and looking out rather than being in our heads xx
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Thanks ladies. After rushing off to the Dr's in a state on Friday morning I was determined after being reassured that if I give it another two weeks on the Sertraline, I would see some improvement. I just don't know what to believe. Yes, some people take them without any problems whatsoever, my friend does, as does her daughter, but they have just depression and not anxiety so I think anxiety is the factor in the side affects and why it's worse for me. Just cannot explain how I feel on them at the moment. Before the tablets, yes, I was very weepy and low and had no motivation and didn't want to do anything but can't see that this 'feeling' at the moment is any better. I know I just don't feel like myself. It's been as if I can't relate to myself or understand myself and there is a disconnect. My reality feels different and I feel sort of switched off. It's hard to explain and is subtle but I am very aware that I feel different than normal and it's unsettling. The family came as usual yesterday and within a few minutes of them being there I just wanted them to go and I started to feel unwell but then I tell myself off, pick myself up and then am okay. I woke up this morning thinking I felt a bit better and the anxiety was a bit less but then I was in tears in the car on the way to work and then broke down in the office once I got in (thankfully, everybody was at a meeting) and called HR up and had a chat with her and told her what was going on with me and she was really understanding and told me that if I needed time off, to take it, and said to go to her if I need her, which was very nice of her. I took a diazepam and felt slightly better by lunch but am tired out now. I honestly just don't know what is going on. I am so annoyed that I have stuck with it all for 6 weeks now and felt so rough and for what? Yet, keep reading to carry on as things will get better - seems to be 7 or 8 weeks allegedly with Sertraline but who really knows??? Might have a word with the pharmacist on my way home. I haven't had a good day for two solid weeks now. :(
I saw my therapy lady on Friday and felt better after that but then it doesn't last. I find it hard to put anything positive or distracting in place when I feel so rubbish. I wasted yesterday, a lovely day, by just mooching round the house until tea time when everybody arrived. x
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Having gone this far maybe stick with it? Did you drop by the Pharmacist? I found the ADs that I took either gave me unbearable side effects or worked within 5-6 days. It was a struggle until I found something that suits, it's not a cure but enables me to get out of bed in the mornings. Some days I feel muggy but in general, the depression is under control.
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JJ, I really think you need to go back to GP and have a chat about changing medication and/or seeing psychiatrist for some input on meds as I don't think that you should be having to take a diazepam to feel that you can cope. They are a short term emergency solution and if your ADs are making you anxious enough to need one, then they really aren't helping. Sertraline is prescribed for people with agitated depression so it is a good one for anxiety , though one of my GPs felt that citalopram was better so maybe something else would help you ( I know you can't take citalopram with your BBs) - there are always the old style tricyclics like anafranil that you could try if you feel that you need medication still.
Well done for telling HR. If you can't manage , there is no shame in being signed off for a bit unit you feel more able to cope. Hopefully therapy will help but maybe dig out our books and have a reread now so that you are already making changes. It is hard to have to battle against your mind day in day out but only by showing that part of your brain that wants your attention 24/7 that you won't be bullied by it, can you start to reclaim your life back x
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CKLD - no, didn't get to pharmacy as too late but may get there tonight as I finish earlier.
Coldethyl, I am thinking I need a psychiatrist now to be honest. Don't they just prescribe even worse medication though, like anti-psychotics or such - I wouldn't want anything like that. I feel slightly better today - don't feel as nauseous and managed to do with a diazepam this morning. Tummy pain has really settled but guess what - chest pain/ache is back and bothered me in the night!!! That surely means that it is all 'in my head' because I hadn't had one single chest twinge the whole time my tummy was a problem, so trying to rationalise that in my brain and just doing lots of deep breathing in the night. I really just want to give it the two weeks that the Dr said just in case she's right but then that's it, will be coming off them. I am reading the David Veale book again and yes, of course, it all makes such sense but why then can I not apply it to me!!! :beat:
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Psychiatrists can look at your medication more thoroughly than a GP - they don't just prescribe anti-psychotics although a lot of their work is with psychotic rather than neurotic patients. I saw one years ago and she talked me through my meds and then referred me to the mental health team and I saw a psychiatric nurse and attended several group therapy things at hospital. Sadly those sort of things have been cut but they should still be able to help find a med that works to refer you more quickly to the secondary mental health support like a psychologist.
It is hard to apply the techniques which is why a good therapist is invaluable but in my experience the short tick sheet CBT offered by the NHS isn't usually enough for people with entrenched OCD/anxiety.
If you can keep with the sertraline for another week or so then at least you'll know if it gets better and if not, then you can change with a clear conscience as it were. There are a class of drugs called SNRIs of which Effexor is most widely used that might be an alternative, or mitrazapine which is different again. Or as I said, an old style tricyclic. Personally I think good therapy is better than medication as it gets to roots of issue but that's just me.x
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Neurotic ?????? discuss :-\
A Psychiatrist will take a detailed history and prescribe as appropriate. He/she will cover all types of depressive conditions including psychosis. Either on an in-patient basis or with support from the GP. There used to be locally employed Psychiatric Community Workers but in the Midlands they were phased out in the 1990s :'(. Mine was very supportive and would visit me at home every couple of weeks. Meant that when anxious I didn't have to drive nor sit in a waiting room, fretting.
Depression is a chemical imbalance of the brain. NO amount of 'therapy' will ease depression. If it were so then medication would not be required :-\ Been there done that and was close to ending it twice. Only medication keeps my brain in any kind of order, enabling me to get out of bed.
I realise that 'therapy' in the way of talking, relaxation, yoga can help sufferers. I had talking therapy in the 1990s which enabled me : discuss, decide, ditch : sorted out my head so that I could move on. I can no longer remember why I went to therapy in the later years, initially it was very involved and complicated but talking helped me to ditch the small stuff.
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It's just when you think 'psychiatrist' you really feel you've got problems and are really in at the deep end....might be a false assumption but it seems a bit scarier than just seeing a psychologist/therapist.
I've just got to ride the next couple of weeks out I suppose and then see what's what. There is no quick fix, I realise that. I am supposed to be going away to Spain for 5 days mid-March and I really don't want to let the others down and not go but I'm worrying that I won't be right by then.
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Who told you that? Stigma again >:(. Yep; if you are referred to a Psychiatrist then you *have* problems :sigh: - that your GP can't deal with.
What's the difference between seeing a Gynecologist, ENT Surgeon or Psychiatrist? I know, there was a stigma but don't encourage those around you to continue the myth ;)
I rarely tell anyone what medication I'm taking, which Specialistes I've been referred to, certainly I would NEVER tell my family - nowt to do with them! Would you tell people when you use the toilet :-\ …… my GP and Himself are on the list of those who 'need to know' :)
'letting others down' is in your mind >:( - many years ago I was very ill one C.mas night and had to return to the Hotel. The next morning Mum told me crossly 'you spoiled the evening for the others then!' - "well nope, actually: if they aren't capable of having fun without my being around, that's there problem not mine. If they decided to let the evening be spoiled, that was there choice!"
I have NEVER told her any health problems again. It's obvious that she cares more about the feelings of others than my own. (long story short :'()
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Hi JustJules. Do you feel as if the 'package' of things you are doing to support yourself are right for you? Sounds as if you maybe want to review it all and see what is working and what isn't.
I understand that fear of the word psychiatrist, I think I have the same reaction, but I think it's the myth, like CLKD says. They are always referred to in movies and things - scary movies ;) In reality I think the difference between psychiatrist and psychologist is that one dispenses medication and the other one doesn't. Both play a role in managing mental health and if the medication you are taking doesn't seem right then your GP or a psychiatrist is the appropriate person to seek help from.
It's a horrible thing when our health means we are looking ahead to see if we can cope with something, I am doing similar at the moment, but I am also trying a new 'trick' in seeing what it feels like to do the things anyway. Sometimes it doesn't make much difference where I am, but on the other hand, I know I definately miss opportunities for brain shifts when I stay at home - by that I mean positive, happy shifts.
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This from the internet -Psychiatry is a medical field concerned with the diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mental health conditions.
A psychologist is a professional who evaluates and studies behavior and mental processes.
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:thankyou: also, a Psychiatrist is a medic first who specialises. A Psychologist does a different line of eduction to get good enough to practice.
"Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" ? never worked for me :'( - I have to flee.
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Just an update ladies. Went back to GP yesterday and actually saw my favourite one who knows me well but is hard to get to see. I am coming off the Sertraline as she said I shouldn't still feel this rubbish. Wanted me to start mertrazapine in a few weeks but think I don't want anything else as couldn't cope with another 6 weeks of hell. Has given me some more diazepam to tide me over. I hope I can go back to feeling better than this....it frightens me that I won't. At the moment I am doing zero housework, struggling to muster up any motivation to even make the bed and do anything but exist every day. Still zero appetite and an effort to eat so that doesn't help. Even though I was low and weepy before at least I got on with everything. I am scared that there is something wrong with me as I have had a couple of episodes today for an hour or so where I just didn't feel well and then it passes off. I hope it's just because I am so anxious all the time. Saw my therapist today so that helped. X
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Yes, Sparkle she is a good GP. She even made me an appointment to go back in two weeks while I was there. X
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Hello Justjules.
Also wanted to send hugs and hopefully the diazepam will calm you and give your nervous system a break.
I often get anxiety surges that come out of nowhere and linger for hours. I find them very unnerving and if your experience is similar, you have my sympathy.
Take care.
K.
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Thanks Kathleen. Yes, horrible things....getting them in the night since taking the Sertraline so hoping they start easing off once I'm off them. X
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Rest? Listen to your body? Anxiety surges take a HUGE amount of energy from me, I am very tired if panic attacks floor me. Use the Valium as necessary, I had it for years - I needed it before we visited family ……. I would take 5mg the night B4 and another in the morning if I felt edgy. It made me 'hung over' but at least I got through the day :-\.
Feet up! Cuppa to hand! When I couldn't eat in the 1990s I would make a hot mug of Bovril or use an Oxo cube: I would sit and hold the mug for ages before daring to drink any :'(, in case it made me feel worse: in fact my body was hungry - as I began to improve I would add a small amount of rice and frozen peas. It took months B4 I could eat properly. Even now I stick to safe foods …….. grilled chicken with rice is a good stand-by as are pancakes ;).
:bighug:
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Yes, all good advice and just what therapist said. Have managed boiled rice and some fish tonight and an egg sandwich at lunch so at least had something other than bananas and complain smoothies. Trying to eek out the Valium as definitely don't think there will be anymore and to be honest, 2mg doesn't do much so took two this morning but I've only got 14 so trying to use as and when really bad. X
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Well done on the eating! That's absolutely fine …….. bananas are slow release, Complan can go onto the compost (by-passing me completely ;D ) - little and often ;)
You will get through this. How long do you feel that the Valium lasts for you? Because I knew it worked I knew how much to take when faced with an event. The same with the emergency pill I have to hand these days. (long story short).
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Not long really. My mum and dad used to have it many years ago and it was always 5mg or 10mg but now they only give 2mg and they only just take the edge off for a couple of hours, plus because I am not on them daily, they aren't affective enough I don't think. If I take the 14 tablets daily at twice a day they will be gone within 7 days :(
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Your GP is being stuffy about Valium >:( ……… I had 5mg to hand, have you talked through how much you need to take the edge off the anxiety? Maybe ask about other types of anxiety relief? I take one beginning with 'L' which is 'as necessary'. You could have a chat with a Pharmacist ;-)
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I will do if I really need to but all the gps at our practice seem to only give out the 2mgs. I suppose they don't want to cause even more problems with dependancy etc. I want to get off the Sertraline as soon as but know that it needs to be really slowly I think even after just 6 weeks. Dr said just take half a tablet and taper off over a week but I don't think so! I've taken 3/4 of a tab for the last two days. Will speak to pharmacist if needs be. Don't think Drs realise how bad side affects from these bloomin tablets are like!
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Because they can't 'feel' what we feel ::). They are aware of the possibility of side-effects but unless it happens, 1 cannot empathise.
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True but considering Drs are stressed supposedly, I would imagine some of them self medicate with ADs.....
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….. often alcohol :-\ ……….